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Well, I have to start off by saying that I never thought I would ever get married. But, now I am, and am very happy about meeting my guy. I just got engaged two weeks ago, so I start planning immediately. First I log on to the wedding site that helps you plan your wedding, well that gave me a panic attack. I was already "late" doing just about everything, and the wedding is 9 months away. Then I do the budget, and get bummed because they only put $70.00 towards rings. What a joke. Then I make my guest list and I am up to over 100 people within 20 minutes, and his family is not even on the list yet!! So, for low-stress I decided not to log on to that site again. So, I start looking for someone to marry us. I call the people who married my best friend three years ago. They now charge $495 to marry you in their little bity chapel. My friend got them for $50.00!!! Then I call the place for the reception, which was recommended by a coworker. That place now charges $300 and hour as soon as the first guest arrives, as apposed to two years ago it cost $200 for three hours. Then I call the caterer. They want $21 a plate, do-able if I go back and start taking people OFF the guest list. So, I decide on appetizers. After totalling up the price of cheese and meat trays, the price was over $2000!!!! Then I decide to just forget about that stuff, and go look for a wedding ring. I go to a place and I find THE RING!! And we can afford it. So, I am admiring this ring for a good 10 minutes, when I look at the price again, and I notice CZ on it. I ask the sales associate if it were a cubic zirconia and she says yes it is. For $2300!!!! A CZ??? I was so pissed that I said my lunch break was up and walked out. Yes, it was a very convincing CZ, but come on!! I felt stupid. So, instead of having the big, traditional wedding I was imagining, we have decided to go to Vegas and get married there. Who ever can afford to attend will be there. We will pay for our mothers to get there, but that is it. After the ceremony, not done by elvis, we will go to a nice buffet, and everyone can pick what they want to eat. Then we will go dancing. I am no longer stressed about being taken advatage of, and I will not have to worry about bridesmaids and groomsmen and little snotty flower girls giving me grief! Look out Vegas, here we come! ps, thanks for reading this long rant!!
Will NOT be taken advantage of... <email>
Colorado Springs, CO Tuesday, December 31, 2002
Dear Sncks--I'M TELLING YOU FROM 40 YEARS EXPERIENCE--RUN,GIRLIE, RUN!!! if your FH doesnt interceed NOW you will forever be 'just his wife' to the inlaws!!!If he is lacking in the speaking up dept. ditch him, he will never stand by YOUR side,as a husband, only beside his parents and their wishes. Still waiting for the 92 yr old mother in law to die!!!!!!!!
sue
Friday, December 27, 2002
During the 10-hour drive home for the family Christmas, I counseled myself to ignore all things bridal in order to avoid screaming fits of 'zillaness. My engagement sparked a slew of "proposals" in my family, from my 20-year-old brother and his 18-year-old Army private to my envious cousin, whose story is too lurid to get into here. Let's leave it at "She REALLY wants to get married...doesn't matter how or to whom." Family/wedding b.s. has been making me crazy since he slipped the ring on my finger. Over the holidays, though, I was mostly an angel on the outside...inside, I noted every single relative who didn't congratulate me or ask to see my ring, especially when the above cousin thrust her ring (the biggest of them all, not that the rest of us were going for size) into every face that presented itself. Grrr...
be the bigger bride(zilla)
Friday, December 27, 2002
I don't really like my dress...or this whole wedding planning stuff. I don't know why we're even doing all this. We're more concerned w/ being together and spending our lives growing old w/ each other. we keep saying that if we had $10 for every time we said we wished we had eloped, we'd be rich by now. it's too late to call the whole party off and run away together...besides, our families are really looking forward to the celebration...since it's been a pretty tough year for both families having lost loved ones. i just can't seem to get excited and into the planning. i can't wait to marry my honey, but i wish we had eloped.
Lacey <email>
Richland, WA Tuesday, December 24, 2002
I went shopping for my wedding dress with a thousand dollar maximum for veil and dress. Unfortunately, the bridal consultant had me try a dress on and I fell in love with it and they had just the perfect veil to go with it. The total of the two was $1571. I went home and talked to fi about upping the max and he said no way. I was broken hearted. I ended up getting the dress anyways, I just paid for part of it WAY in advance and then paid for the rest later when it got ordered. Fi thinks this is a different dress than the one I fell in love with, but it's the one!
Overspender
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
2 out of 5 of my bridesmaids were such complete bitches to me when I was planning my wedding. They pulled sour faces and complained about EVERYTHING from my fiance to the colors of their dresses.
NOW, FINALLY... I get to have my revenge and it is oh so sweet.
One of the bitchy bridesmaids is engaged and planning her wedding. And she has a couple of bridesmaids (ironically enough, not me, although I am one of her bridesmaids) giving her the business. It's so much fun for me to sit back and laugh and revel in the fact that what goes around, comes around! heh heh
Vengeful Bride
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
My parents, although not technically "paying" for the wedding, are giving us as a wedding gift what will turn out to be easily over half of our wedding budget. They have already explained that my siblings and I will each get the same monetary wedding gift when we each get married. My FH and I are depending on this money for our wedding and my parents are awesome for giving it to us. My confession is that I am pretty disappointed that neither of my FH's parents (they are divorced) have offered any help, monetarily or otherwise. It's not that I think that they have to, it's just that they have never helped him out with anything including college, and I feel like they are pretty selfish people. Which, of course I can never say to him. For example, last year for X-mas, his dad gave him his old leather jacket from about a decade ago. That no one, even a decade ago, would be caught dead in. ??? No other presents, just a hand me down. This followed a birthday where his gift was a hand me down T-shirt. (Harry Potter, anyone?) That's a pretty big bummer and I know it hurts my FH's feelings that his dad, well, he sometimes sucks. We're not counting on decent gifts from them at all, and are even wondering how much whining is going to come our way when they start looking for plane tickets to fly out here for the wedding. My poor FH!
ehhhh
New York, NY Friday, December 20, 2002
I have to download now! I have been engaged for a total of 5 months now and my SO and family is driving me CRAZY. I wanted to elope god how I wanted to elope! I am not the kind of girl who goes nuts for such cheap thrills as to what color scheme I want. So far we have not spent 1 cent on this event due to my penny pinching FH! He has only bought the ring and his aditude is that that was too much. My family has adimently stated that they do not want to be involved in any of the wedding details till spring! When I know all of my previous planning will be wrong and now irreversable! The only ones who want to be involved are my FH's parents who are quoted as saying such lovely comments as "I want to pay for the catering, but only if can guarantee me that a lot of your larger family will not show up." Of course their wedding list includes everyone of their family members, and why not they are paying after all! I'm going to go crazy! Last night when my FH droped the bomb that the wedding reception will now be held at a different facility that his parents called, booked and paid for without a word to me I lost it! This is not my first choice in venues or even my third or fourth. But being the money hugger my FH is he saw nothing wrong with it just one more thing we don't have to pay for. I finally told him I want to extend our wedding date another year because I can't handle this stress on my own and he doesn't seem mature enough to realize this day is more important than the bank statements and our relationship has to come before his overbearing parents. Please someone write in and tell me I'm not a total Bridezilla! Is this the kinda thing I'm supposed to expect in wedding planning? Am I nuts or what?!
Snucks
Friday, December 20, 2002
Forgive me...for I have sinned. I succumbed to the idea that I am the only bride in the world and that there is only 1 dress for me. When the bridal shop called to tell me that they had misinformed me...and the dress I wanted was discontinued....I started to get hysterical. The more she said, the crazier I got. For penance, I'm considering wearing a non-traditional gown.
Kara <email>
Friday, December 20, 2002
Where to begin? Parents aren't thrilled about the wedding, suddenly they're very religious and don't approve of FH. Grandpa may not come. My aunts are behaving like children, insisting they didn't even know they were invited b/c I don't call w/weekly updates on the wedding (of course you're invited, you're my mothers sister!).
Despite disapproval they insist on having an opinion on everything, though they're paying for nothing! (no, they didn't pay for school either). This has led me to become incred. controlling (excuses, excuses). I have teared up at the florist, the caterer, and the bridal salon each time I am given a price...I must seem like such a freak...and I can't help but talk about the gory details of it to anyone who will listen, since the family won't. Through most of it, FH has been supportive and a joy. More evidence of the wonderful man I am fortunate enough to have in my life.
feel somewhat better now.
Controller
Philadelphia, PA Friday, December 20, 2002
I am a bridal apparel retailer. Bridezilla is out there and she BITES! Once a week one of these creatures crosses my path-more now than 15 years ago! Assertiveness has somehow gotten confused with the behavior of a spoiled 3 year old! When the veil (or some other item) arrives and doesn't match the dress--"It's not what I want!" wails (frequently screams) the girl. When I explain this is what you chose and ordered-a frequent answer is "But I don't care--it's not what I want!".
Well-news to you girls--we vendors are in business to(amazingly!) make a profit. There is a popular misbelief among the general public these days--that the customer is always right, and if you scream loud enough you will get what you want--even though you don't deserve it. How is acting like a spoiled brat any incentive for any vendor to go out of their way for you? This is Bridezilla in a nutshell--demanding, bitchy and bratty. And! She is shopping in lots of other stores too-and has a male counterpart (usually doesn't come out at weddings though). Be prepared folks when you meet the spawn of these creatures-you guessed it-CHILDZILLA!
zilla alert! zilla alert!
Thursday, December 19, 2002
My mom asked me to pay for my wedding dress. Nevermind that I am 29 yrs old and my parents are paying for everything else for over 300 guests - I got sulky. My mom and dad eloped, so my mom never had a wedding dress. And she's been so wonderful helping with everything - being totally excited for us and completely selfless. So what did I say?
"It would have been nice if you actually had a dress that you could've handed down to me."
I'm appalled.
Pita
Atlanta, GA Thursday, December 19, 2002
Our wedding was actually fantastic! We aren't traditional, so neither was the ceremony. A friend got notarized and wrote and performed the ceremony, which was a combination of Wiccan, Irish, Indian and other prayers/rituals. I wore a beautiful sari, and my husband wore a fabulous Indian white cotton shirt. My matron of honor was 6 months pregnant, and looked beautiful in an Indian wrap skirt, and the bridemaids were my husband's neices, who also looked beautiful in thier wrap skirts. My husband's sons were his best men, and my brother was the other groomsmen. Our family actively participated in the ceremony by lighting candles that were eventually used to light a unity candle. I had a great time planning, and my husband also enjoyed planning everything. My only complaint was that my mother had nothing to do with it. I know lots of people who would say that was a blessing, but this is the only thing I have ever done in my life that I would have wanted my mother to be involved in somehow, and she barely showed up. Everyone was else fantastic, though, and I love being married!
Lemon Jello
Florida Thursday, December 19, 2002
I am not usually a person who clamors for attention. Infact, I have been known to hand over the spotlight whenever possible. But now I am getting married and I secretly do not want my bridal attendants to look better than me. They are beautiful girls and I want to be the star of the show. I AM SUCH A JERK!
a girl with a ring
WA Tuesday, December 17, 2002
Father( or is it Mother?) Zilla, Forgive me, for I have bitched, complained, whined, and let's not forget sinned. I have the greatest husband in the world, and yet he gets the brunt of the bitch. We eloped a year ago, and are now planning the actual (family) wedding ceremony. I say family, cause that's who this ceremony was mainly being planned for. But as usual, the BRIDE in me came out and wants things done MY way! It's MY wedding, ect..My husband actually has helped every part of the way in planning this thing, and everytime we talk "wedding", I get bitchy. Noone else sees it, he gets it all! I feel so bad, but I can't help it. This is stressful! And another thing--I wanted the wedding on New Year's Day! Everyone complained about wanting to party, so I was nice and changed the wedding date--to SuperBowl Sunday! What a bitch! Actualy, i had no idea until today that i had done this, but still....
BRIDEZILLA again!!!
jolean-bridezilla # 2,000,435 <email>
Victorville, CA Sunday, December 15, 2002
I have three sisters, and two of them, as well as me, are engaged. I was the last to get engaged, and vowed that I was going to avoid the Bridezilla tendencies of my older sister (The first to wed -- and in fairness, she was very cool and calm in the end).
Anyway, refusing to pay umpteen-million dollars for a dress I would wear once, I tromped out to David's Bridal and found a beautiful and *very* affordable dress (we're talking LOW three figures). I was so smug & proud of myself.
Cut to big sister's wedding. As she walks down the aisle in her beautiful Vera Wang gown, I start thinking, "Wait a minute . . . al of these people are gonna be at my wedding next year. Is my dress cheap? Will it look low-quality?" The panic continued to set in as I masochistically and frantically flipped through bridal magazines to see if my dress was "good enough."
I went so far as to book an appointment at a bridal salon that carried a dress that I saw online & loved. The price -- $2,000!
Thank God for my best friend (also engaged) who, along with her mom, watched me try on the original dress after Thanksgiving dinner. They helped me realized that --even with a bloated tummy -- I looked good in the dress, and I fell in love with it all over again.
I still can't believe how easy it is to get sucked up into the Wedding Machine. It was a close call, but I'm glad I escaped. Hope I will remember this experience next time the inner Bridezilla rears her ugly head!
dressed_for_excess
Friday, December 13, 2002
I'm sensing another "you're not helping me with the wedding at all" fight brewing... the groom to be finds it his all consuming passion to engage in home improvement projects one after the other. I suspect this is his way of being "too busy" to call the minister, get fitted for his tux, etc. Never mind that I'm at work all day & he's not working right now. Last time we had this fight I told him I felt like I was marrying myself. My wedding is February 9th & I still haven't sent out out (or ordered actually) the invitations. Mr Helpful gets a glazed look in his eyes when I bring this up.... I may choke him soon......or cry...either option sounds good right now.
Moody Cassie
CA Wednesday, December 11, 2002
I secretly jump with glee that my future sister in law is having all sorts of issues with her wedding plans and mine are going ever so smoothly.
ms larue
Atlanta, GA Wednesday, December 11, 2002
I love him. I do. I plan to love him forever. But planning a wedding "with" him is the most stressful undertaking of my young life. There is a reason brides usually do all the planning -- I think we're brought up to expect and deal with all the pressure a traditional wedding entails. I am not allowed to stress -- my intended does it all for me. Think your mother gets agitated over your choice of flowers or ceremony music? She doesn't hold a candle to my groomzilla. I am a chameleon -- I could easily see myself having a completely untraditional wedding, in spite of the childhood dreams of the white dress and dinner dance. But for groomzilla, everything has to be just so...
Counting to ten, before I commit a mortal sin...
bless me, fiance, for I have sinned...
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
Married 4 months, and I finally had my meeting with the album designer. We already paid $3000 for the photographer and album, but when my Darling Husband left me alone for 3 hours in all my wedding-obsessing glory, I spent another $1000 putting in extra picutures and pages! Let's call it my Christmas-and-birthday present! Wait till we edit the wedding video...
Wedding's Paid But I'm Still Spending
Long Island, NY Monday, December 09, 2002
My fiance and I got engaged this summer and within a few weeks set our date (Fall 2003). Then this fall a friend of mine got engaged and chose the same date...fully knowing that we had chosen that date! Her wedding is local and ours is in my hometown, so there is no way that our mutual friends can attend both...and of course convienience-wise it would be easier for them to attend the local wedding. The ONE THING that has been the most important to my fiance and I in planning our wedding is having as many friends and family there as possible, and then this happens! Maybe this is a Bridezilla reaction to have, but I can't imagine purposely putting friends in the position of having to choose one friend's wedding over another's.
We chose our date first!!
Sunday, December 08, 2002
I am a graduate student and writing one of my psych papers on my upcoming nuptials. I am actually searching the internet to see what I can find about bridezillas and came across this website. This is great--I enjoy the humor and sarcasm. I am getting married in about three months in a foreign country. That was a BAD decision; I would definitely advise against it. At this point I don't have a specific story to share about my ability to loose it and go bridal on some unsuspecting ass, but believe me, I can and I probably have--anyway, thanks for the website.
Nachola
Spokane, WA Saturday, December 07, 2002
We have many guests who (6 months after the wedding) still haven't sent us a gift, and I swear I cannot stop obsessing about it.
One couple is an unemployed groomsman and his girlfriend (they're forgiven). But another is a couple who we sent a very nice wedding gift to, and another is a woman who we went out of our way -- even to the point of having an extra table (and thus extra floral, extra table numbers, new seating chart printed, etc.) -- to seat her as far as possible from her recently-dumped boyfriend. Then she spent the whole time (ceremony -and- reception) as close to him as she could. ARGH.
Also, a group of my husband's family members (who didn't come to the wedding) didn't even send us a card. My husband was very hurt when they decided not to come, even though he really didn't expect it, and then they added insult to injury by not congratulating us. (Though they did manage to send word that they weren't boycotting...)
Wehave all that we need in life, so I really don't care about not having gifts (with the possible exception of the cheap-ass newlyweds who had just gotten a set of $150 china from us a year before) but it would have been nice to have an acknowledgement of our milestone form these people. We only had 50 guests at our wedding, so it's not like these are distant family friends or coworkers who hardly know us.
BayAreaBridezilla
Friday, December 06, 2002
When creating the guest list for our wedding last summer, we started with the master of list of everyone you every knew who might vaguely be interested in seeing you in a veil... of course, it was an impractical list, so we started to pare down. The first to go were friends and distant family that we never see and rarely communicate with (like childhood friends, etc.). We had a lot more trimming to do, so we started nixing people who we hadn't been especially close to in the past few years... and then the people that we haven't seen in the last year, etc. We got our list cut back as much as we could and still ended up with 100 names. But to do this, we had to send some of our single friends invites without the "and guest" to keep us on budget. Of course, we only did this to people who weren't currently seeing anyone and would probably hire a hooker for the occasion anyway. So, we were pretty pleased with the guest list. And then the mothers conspired to have us send invites to distant relatives and people we didn't care to have there...saying "they're family, you have to" blah blah. So we send out a few more invites, fairly sure that they will all decline. HA!
Not only did ALL of the "undesirables" accept, every single one of our guests without the "and guest" on the invite brought a guest. Some people showed up with 2 or 4 more..."You remember Bob, right? You met him that one time..." Lovely. We had sent 100 invites, had 100 acceptances and 140 people actually show up. The caterer had done us a personal favor and threw in extra food, so that we could invite the crew (we were married on a boat) to have something to eat. There was food for 120 people, easy. My mother, sister, step dad, and father deliberately skipped dinner, in the hopes that there would be enough food. Yeah right! Several people took 2-3 times the "serving" amount (we're talking 3 full sized chicken breasts) - and of course, these were the people who weren't invited in the first place! Sigh. So then MIL goes to get hers - and the caterers ran out of chicken! They were embarrassed, I was embarrassed and also quite irked that all of these people who I didn't know or didn't like showed up at my wedding for a free ride!!
Don't Like You - You're Off The List! <email>
Tustin Ranch, CA Friday, December 06, 2002
I am two weeks from my wedding, and have yet to "have fun" planning it. I wanted to elope, he wanted to "do it right," and I got to do all the work. Everybody has an opinion on everything, and whenever I politely decline to use it I've suddenly lost a friend. WTF?!?! My clergy even wants to rewrite my ceremony to add something I deliberately left out!
One of my (married) bridesmaids asked me if she could bring her BOYFRIEND to the ceremony, since her husband probably wouldn't be any fun (but he'd be there too). I don't want to piss her off by saying 'hell no,' but I don't want that situation anywhere near my wedding.
I'm not having any fun. I don't like having to ask people to help me out because it always seems like I'm inconveniencing them terribly when I do, and as a result I'm doing it all myself. I'll probably end up carrying an Uzi down the aisle instead of a bouquet, it's been so @#!! stressful...
wuh-wuh
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
We're having a 85 person wedding, and I could care less what the groom, fathers, mothers, maid of honor, best man, etc. wear.
But I'm flying across the country this weekend for my appointment with the bridal salon on the other coast from both me and the wedding where they are making my very expensive - read 30% of wedding budget, dress by hand.
sam
Monday, December 02, 2002
Ack! I have been married six years and I don't have a wedding ring! I didn't have an engagement ring! My husband is a homemaker! We got married in our living room! Our then-10-month-old son was the guest of honor! I didn't change my name! I AM NOT MAKING ANY OF THIS UP!!!!
X
Sunday, December 01, 2002
For her 4th wedding, I thought my Mother-in-law did it in an interesting way.
She wore an embroidered indian dress, he wore a white gauze shirt and a vest. They had all their friends outside in a circle around them. A flute player played a wooden flute along with a drummer before and after the ceremony. The officiant was a shaman. Sage was burnt. The weather was threatening rain, so the sky was beautiful blue and black. (It held off until we were done.) They concluded the ceremony by planting some bulbs that will continue to flower every year in memory of their special day.
For the reception, everyone brought a dish to pass, and we had the best time I have ever had at a wedding! This only proves that you needn't spend a fortune to create a wonderful memory for yourselves...hope that it's her last!
Happily married for 17 yrs myself...
MI Saturday, November 30, 2002
a month after I got engaged (finally!- Jesus, i'm well into my thirties), a close relative's girlfriend announced that she's pregnant. now everybody's worried about her (she's had a miscarriage) & no one could care less about my wedding. plus now my mom & fiance are trying to talk me into spending my wedding money (ONLY $5000) on a downpayment on a house instead of a wedding cuz intrest rates are so low. practical, yes, but I have to be so damn practical to have a 5K wedding that I feel like screw 'em. Let them worry about a house. Let HIS parents contribute a freakin' dime now & then (they have NEVER given or loaned us ANYTHING- nor are they poor).
ok. i feel better.
bitch-to-be
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
I can't stop talking, once I get started. I don't want to be bridezilla, so I never talk about the wedding planning until some poor polite sap is dumb enough to ask...after that, I can't shut up! And I have friends in longterm relationships who are ready to plan their own as soon as they get that ring, so I don't want to brag too much about the fun stuff. On the flipside, who wants to hear all the negative stuff? I think I'm just going to resort to the "smile and nod" response...maybe that will ensure I still have some friends for the wedding...
passive/aggressive 'zilla
Monday, November 25, 2002
So, I freaked out on that guy who is helping me plan this wedding. His father just got laid off, and they told him thay they are expecting about 50 people for the rehersal dinner. Well, I found that we could probably do a luau type thing, but it would be $10/person. That's $500! He had the nerve to say that it would be okay! I can't ask them to spend that much on just food and come down and put themselves up for a week and...and...and...
So, I yelled at him for about 30 minutes until I curled up in a ball and fell asleep.
Bob T. Fish
Knoxville, TN Saturday, November 23, 2002
I dragged my Bridesmaids all over California in search of the elusive perfect gown that you are promised by countless magazines is out there waiting for you. I subjected them to endless barrages of tulle and satin in my quest. I also subjected them to listening to me for hours agonizing and obsessing over a dress I will wear ONCE. I changed my mind frequently. "So, sassy, which dress is in the lead, today?" I finally found it- in Las Vegas. Perhaps the greatest sin here is- I loved the hunt!
No Bows for Me here in SB
Thursday, November 21, 2002
My sister is going to drive me NUTS! After months of pretty much ignoring me, she has intruded on my life once again now that she found out I'm getting married. I asked her to be a bridesmaid because I felt guilty (because I was her maid of honor) but I'm TOTALLY regretting it. She won't come out to help me look for dresses, she turns down every dress I suggest because she's big chested and has put on a ton of weight so she's a 24 or something when my other bridesmaids are 4,12, and 14. It's so frustrating. How tacky is it to kick your own sister out of your wedding?
Bitter Sister
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
There is the sorority chick who is dating one of my fiance's co-workers. She cried and cried when she didn't catch the bouquet at a friend's wedding this summer (it actually hit her in the face.) I took great delight in the sour look on her face when I announced to our friend (the bride from the aforementioned wedding) that me and mine were getting hitched. We talked about wedding stuff for an hour while this chick got more and more angry. Nyah nyah. ;)
Not Trying to Catch the Bouquet..
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
I allowed myself one bridezilla hour when I heard my cousin/BM conned her con artist live-in boyfriend into admitting he plans to marry her eventually. They'd talked about it for "a month" and it culminated around her birthday, with was {shock} a month after my love and I announced our impending nuptials. So now she's engaged-too-so-there-nyah-nyah, but it's still a big secret (her mom and I know) because she's afraid of what everyone will say. Did I mention they've been back together for about six weeks, and the circumstances are dubious?
So I moped for a minute, then spent a lot of time thinking about our relationship over the years, but last night I decided I'm not going to think about it anymore. Her brother, between us in age, just bought his longtime girlfriend a ring over the weekend, and they're telling everyone...so really,if she wanted part of the limelight, it's going to bite her in the butt. Add to this an aunt who's rounding out year two of a spontaneous engagement, and my little brother putting a ring on his girlfriend-cum-army private, and 2003 is gonna be one hell of a year!
Stop the wedding madness!
Now, my bridezilla-ness has dwindled to a smug "who's racing?" attitude...my fiance and I weren't reacting to others or giving in to wedding pressure -- we just knew what we wanted and, as my maid of honor put it, we did it "right." Am I still a bridezilla if I keep it to myself or post it on bridal websites?
a muffin
Tuesday, November 19, 2002
I have a bridesmaid that is really overweight. She's been aggravating me about the dress I chose (she hates it but my other 6 girls love it) and now I'm to the point where I told her when the dress needs to be ordered but I'm not going to remind her because I'm hoping that will cause her to drop out.
terrible bride-to-be
Friday, November 15, 2002
OK, so the one and only time I've gone bridezilla thus far (don't worry I have 6 more months to go) I was forced to literally eat my words. Luckily I went bridezilla about the cake! My sig-fig and I decided to have a pre-cake testing chat to iron out any inconsistancies in the privacy of our own home. He then said "a white cake with a fruit filling" would be fine with him! I totally vetoed that one, albeit with visions of bad grocerystore birthday cake in my head. So what so we do the next day but pick the closest thing to a white cake with fruit filling that we tasted! Thankfully it's actually yellow cake with layers of apricot puree and orange flavored buttercream, smothered in more buttercream, rolled in pistachios and topped with apricot glaze... hopefully I've learned my bridezilla lesson now (not likely, but I can hope).
rosebengal
Portland, OR Thursday, November 14, 2002
I am Bridezilla before even being Asked!!!
I am so ready to get married. I have been with my boyfriend (the one) for 3 years. I have over 10 wedding planners, my champange flutes, my garter, guestbook, tiara, and even some of the favors and I'm not even Engaged yet.
I am always dropping hints and asking for a ring. I hate doing that but I can't stop myself!!!!
Jenniewren <email>
Rensselaer, NY Monday, November 11, 2002
I really wanted my sister to be my maid of honor, but my supposed "best" friend guilted me into asking her instead, even though she hated my then-fiance and her and I were barely getting along over it. So, one day I asked her to go dress shopping with me fully aware that she had a date with her boyfriend that night and wouldn't and couldn't go. When she said no, I dropped her as my maid of honor because she "wasn't supporting me". I promoted my sister and had a wonderful wedding. And in case you are wondering, no I haven't talked to "best friend" since that day.
JBB
Sunday, November 10, 2002
I PAID HALF FOR MY ENGAGEMENT RING!!! You heard me right girls!!!
My fiance and I had decided to get married, and we started looking at rings. We decided we both wanted to save up for it, because the decision to get married was one that we BOTH made.
I feel good about our decision, but everyone else seems to think it's tacky!
EllenSweety
Wednesday, November 06, 2002
I wrote an email to my dad saying his not-very-nice girlfriend is not my mom, and therefore should not get a corsage or be in the recieving line. But aren't having any of our parents in the recieving line.
Napalm
Wednesday, November 06, 2002
Our wedding caused quite a bit of scandal but everyone involved admitted having fun, especially my grandparents
-some highlights
our friend the minister forgetting the words to our written ceremony in a bout of nervousness. ( I took over and the groom finally kissed me to shut me up)
-I wore my mother's dress, which fit perfectly, without alterations
- nude gold statues at the reception ( my husband was an art model when we met)
- a bicycle parade to the reception
- bad bad faux pas of gothic industrial music at reception
- horrendously expensive rip off on the wedding cake ($800)
We didn't hire a photographer, have engagement rings, or have attendants. Our wedding was attended by a wide variety of characters, from a notorious occultist to a former Clinton staffer who said it was one of the best planned events she had ever seen.
Our wedding words of advice.. challenge people's assumptions about weddings in a creative way and they will cherish the day as much as you will..
And remember .. if you do anything really bizzare.. be prepared to laugh at it afterward.
have no regrets, young lovers!
oregonbride
Tuesday, November 05, 2002
Well, our wedding was actually really nice, low-key, low-cost, and went off without any significant hitches. Thirteen years later, we're still married. But, my husband over the last decade or so, became *very* different looking than he did in our wedding pictures: when we wed, he had short hair, was clean-shaven, and was very thin. Then he grew long hair, a beard and moustache, and gained probably 30 pounds, leading visitors to our home who didn't know us back when we first got married to sometimes wonder about my "first husband" in the wedding pictures! (I still look much the same, very recognizable any way). Hubby mostly took this in good humor, but in the last 6 months, he has gotten his hair cut short, and shaved off his facial hair--hmmm, guess he's decided he wants to look like my "first husband" again! But, I love him no matter what.
KR
Friday, November 01, 2002
Three of my six bridesmaids and one of groomsman really showed their true colors during our wedding planning. The girls were of no help to the other bridesmaids with the shower, etc. and talked about the groom and I behind our back, complained about the dresses, yada yada yada. We've all heard this before, right? The groomsman never returned my husband's calls and we feared he might not show for the wedding. Anyway, the groom and I had had enough of it by the time the wedding came around, but decided that kicking these people out was not an option. it just would have caused us more stress. The best we could do is tell our photographer ahead of time to get as few photos as possible of the bad bridal party members. We had many photos taken with the good bridal party members and family. At the reception, we had a sweetheart table and we put the bad bridal party members at their own reject table near the kitchen door. Tee hee! I know it's not much, but it's the best revenge I could get without making it the focus of my day.
Marjorie
Thursday, October 31, 2002
I spent too much money on a photographer!!!!! Waaaaaahhhh!
No Money!
NC Thursday, October 31, 2002
When my sister told me she was pregnant right after I announced my engagement, my first thought was, "She's going to give birth during my wedding!" My second thought - "How are we ever going to find a bridesmaid's dress she won't look hideous in!"
caligirl
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
I was ill with an sinus infection that spread to my ears, bursting one eardrum the week of my hastily planned wedding. I ended up with borrowed bridesmaid dresses, really cheap silk flowers, a rented bridal gown and matching hat (OMG), and a cake from the grocery store. The minister chosen for us stuttered so badly, in the wedding video, you can see my sister about to bop him over the head when it came to the name parts! We had a lovely reception on a military base, which we left names of guests at the gate. However the guards did not know the way to the club and many of my guests ended up at the other club. One friend of mine confessed to waltzing into the hall, slapping the gift she brought with her on the table, looked up and didnt recognize anyone, and got worried. So she did what any of us would have done, leave. Only she decided to take her carefully wrapped crock pot with her, which caused some ruckus with the newlyweds' family when they spotted this unknown woman absconding with a gift. Guards were called and statements were made. She finally made it to the right reception about the same time we did, since we too were lost (we didnt plan anything, we let the parents do it all). The photographer thought he was a great comedian, and while snapping pics of people during the reception, he said loudly to anyone listening, while my husband's large sisters and her friends were filling their plates, "I really like taking pictures at the buffet, you only have to take one picture, because it is always the same people filling their plates." Okay, time to cut the cake. We jump up and grab the knife, and while my friends were going 'aahhh', his were going 'get her!!". So I got cake all over my nose and hair. And he actually got to taste it. Well all the fun is over, I am getting tired and my nose is starting to run. Sniffing tastes vaguely like frosting....I need some medication. On to the honeymoon! We didnt go far, budgets didnt allow for the resort or month-in-Europe escape, so we checked into a okay hotel at the beach. He stepped out while I was in the bathroom, medicating, and slipping into something more comfortable, and didnt come back for 45 minutes or so. He also didnt tell me he was leaving...just quietly slipped out the door leaving me to wonder...how will I get home tomorrow? Well that proved to be too much, so I conked out on the cali king bed, and woke three or four hours later to the strains of WWF music being played loudly from the TV. Ah how romantic. I should have bolted the door when he left and put the do not disturb sign out. Waking up the next morning, I find my new husband still in surf shorts and smelling like MGD. Im hungry so I go to order room service, only to find that there is no cash in the ole purse. How do you pay for beer on your wedding night? Thats right, check the wife's bag! I wake him up and demand something to eat, so we dress and pack, check out, and head for the car. Where does the love of my life take me to start our first day of wedded bliss? Yep, 7-11. I am not into breakfast foods, so one of those pre-packaged sandwiches is what I got. He had funyuns and a coke. Ah now that was living!!! I didnt complain or express myself at all during this time. However, during the nights we shared in our shortlived marriage, he did occasionally wake up with a black eye (opps..how'd that happen??), and find his toothbrush taste like tilex, and his bvds smell like pledge. His complete and total disregard for everything just kind of got the best of me. Weve been divorced for 10 years now. Thats about all I can remember about the marriage...wwf, beer, blackeyes, tilex smelling toothbrushes, and pledge smelling bvds. Ah the memories....
I WISH I were making this up
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
i got married just 2 weeks ago. it was kind of a surprise to everyone because we only announced it in september. we decided we wanted little to do with tradition, so we planned on going to a judge, just the two of us, and then to dinner. again, just the two of us. my family tried so hard to push their ideas onto me as to what a wedding should be. i thought i would get an nice little white suit-type outfit for our appointment with the judge, but my grandmother insisted on taking me shopping for a "nice gown." i detested this, and i considered it an insult! (i can't quite put my finger on it as to why, though.) so i went out and got "an idea as to what sort of things are out there these days," as instructed by dear grandmother. so i headed out to the store with the explicit intention to come home with something, i was determined to not go gown shopping with my grandmother! so i found something, and actually it was exactly the sort of thing that i had wanted. but since i had done that by myself, my granmother had invited herself to our wedding with the judge. mind you, no one was invited. it was a private moment between the two of us, and i'm not really that close to any of my family, so of anyone that i would have wanted there, she wouldn't be one of them. not to mention she lives four hours away, it just didn't seem necessary to us.
but my husband and i realize that our family should get to celebrate with us, so we told everyone that we will have a big reception next year, and we will have a ceremony there to renew our vows, on our first anniversary. and yes, i already have a wedding gown and i will wear it then. but my family insisted that we celebrate right away, so they planned a little wedding brunch the following weekend, which i thought was really nice.
i found myself saying "i thought this was just a brunch" as the waitress brought out a wedding cake and my aunt put a unity candle on the table. she insisted that we cut the cake together and light the candle together "because it was tradition." nevermind that we didn't do this in the first place because we disagree with the ideals that are behind those traditions! so i was too much in a state of shock to say no as my aunt put the butter knife into my hand and positioned us for photos. oh, and did i mention that both my aunt and my grandmother had argued with me over whether or not i was actually going to have a reception next year? my husband and i are paying for it, you better believe that we are doing what we want!
vicky <email>
PA Tuesday, October 29, 2002
My girlfriend, that is in the wedding, and her boyfriend now are talking about getting married. They are not engaged yet but there "date" is before mine. I've been engaged for a year and still have a 11 months to go. I don't know why but it ticks me off that all of a sudden she will have her wedding before mine.
Klaty
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
My now fiance and I are going as non traditional as possible. We are getting married on the beach at sunrise (interesting for two totally non-morning people), with a strict limit of 35 guests. Family gets the invite first--if they can't come, friends are being invited. The only problems I have come across is that I know my Mom imagines this "traditional wedding," when I don't want that at all. We are supposed to go "dress shopping" over Christmas, but I don't think i will wear a traditional dress-I am getting married at the beach!!!! I want my mom to love the wedding (only child I am!), but I want to love my wedding too. Sometimes I feel like a total bitch because I have to say "no." No to people who want to come to the wedding, no to the cake cutting set my mom wants to get us from hallmark, no to the cheesy glasses that say "Bride and Groom." I will be so excited for this day to come and go with no major problems!!!!!!
Mooshie
Durham, NC Friday, October 25, 2002
Our wedding is going to be a surprise! We're having a dinner party with our immediate family and just a few of our closest friends under the guise of a housewarming to show everyone our new place. When one of our parents or grandparents says "So when are you two getting married?" (which is inevitable with these families), we'll say "How about right now?", stand up, and have the officiant (who will be one of our dinner guests) marry us in a brief ceremony.
kitty
Thursday, October 24, 2002
i can't believe i've been acting this way, but i have! while planning my wedding, i am anything but "bridal industry". to start, i have a saphire for an engagement ring, not a diamond. it's like people have been hypnotized into what is supposed to happen and we aren't allowed to deviate. i like the a lot of those so called traditions, but i like to make things my own. take the wedding party. seriously trying to cut costs for us and them, the 3 guys are in their own black suits, matching ties were a gift from the groom-to-be, 3 bridesmaids in dresses we got for $40 from the ann taylor outlet and they got to pick their own shoes. flower girl in a dress i sewed myself. i want to be tasteful, i do enjoy some things that the bridal industry extols, and i am a firm believer that you can pull off a swanky cerimony/reception for massive amounts less then "the industry" would have you think.
but here's the kicker...when my MOH got married a year and a half ago, i was her MOH. she also had a bridal industry wedding, with 5 bridesmaids in matching, $180 dresses (not horrible dresses, but we thought we could wear them again. ha! not unless someone throws a black tie easter brunch sometime) and dyed $55 shoes. not to mention the moola/time we spent on gifts and her shower (we live three hours apart and i planned the whole thing from 3 hours away)she was a poster girl for "modern bride". so i find myself wishing i had found more expensive dresses, or made them all buy shoes i had picked out, too. living three hours away, she didn't bother to throw me a shower, and left it to my future SIL.
i am a sinner for wanting to do unto others as they did unto me. the shame and horrors of it all!
kate
Thursday, October 24, 2002
I don't have a diamond engagment ring. I think diamonds are posively dirty. My engagement ring instead is Tanzanite, a pretty bluish-purple stone.
My fiance and I are getting married in less than a week. It's going to be small. No photographer. Instead I'm having my sister and various other people take random photos and then after everything is said and done my fiance and I will truck down to the Photographer-we-couldn't-afford-to-hire-for-our-wedding to have a simple portrait done. I think that it's such a good idea that I'm surprised that no one else has thought of it. *Pats self on back*
Really, I think the whole Wedding Industry is a bunch of hooey. I have never thought that my wedding should be a day where I'm the princess and everyone else is forced to suffer under my rath. You wedding day is supposed to be about YOU marrying the person you LOVE. And when you think about it in those terms, all of a sudden planning a wedding becomes quite simple. You don't really need to spend $20,000 (gasp) on a wedding, because you're just as married after. Even if your ceremony/reception only costs $100 ($40 for marriage license, $60 for officiant).
(Although I will admit I've suffered from bouts of extreme self doubt thanks to the pressures of our glorious society. A picture of me dressed up in a white Cinderella gown pops into my head. Then I try to imagine myself on a dance floor, getting down to the "Chicken Dance". And that's when I realize that my decision to have a very non-traditonal wedding are right on track).
XxskagirlxX <email>
Sioux Falls, SD Wednesday, October 23, 2002
I'm no bride but I received quite possibly the rudest wedding invitation from a friend of mine - if that's possible. The couple isn't registered for gifts because "As our home is already decorated, a gift of money would be appreciated". Well, if the purpose of wedding gifts is to help you set up home together, and you already have what you need then I suppose you won't need my money, either!
notmyrealname
London, Wednesday, October 23, 2002
I'm wearing a black evening gown for our wedding and we're having the ceremony in our apartment, our friend is marrying us and we'll have ten people at most.
We're going to drink, eat, and have some fun!!! Hehheehe, yep, definetly non-traditional!
Berger's Kitten <email>
Las Cruces, NM Tuesday, October 22, 2002
One of my best friends got married this spring at a small out of town wedding that including mostly family. In September, they decided to have an in town reception to celebrate with their friends who weren't invited to the actual wedding. It was a casual event at a local bar, and they booked the band that her husband is the manages. The last three lines of the invitation read: No food available. Drinks will be served at a cash bar. The happy couple is registered at Crate & Barrel. They also sent it to friends of mine that they have only met once, and many others that they barely know. When I asked them if there was going to be cake, they told me I could bring a cake --for the 200-300 people they invited.
MsMannersWannaBe
Thursday, October 17, 2002
Not my wedding - My sister and I were the bridesmaids for our oldest sister. She turned into a complete Bridezilla. I was afraid to answer my phone for the week leading up to the wedding. The absolute last straw came when the bride called us up at 11.30pm the night before the wedding to say that she'd decided she wanted two huuge photo collages of the bride and groom so that everyone would have stuff to look at. She also wanted it done at that precise and being the bride couldn't do it because she needed her beauty rest. So my sister and I got up, drove to her house, picked up the photos, went to a 24hr supermarket and bought tape and pins, spent 5 hours tacking up the collages, came home and collapsed at 5am, got up three hours later to go to the hair and makeup people. The bride still has the nerve to criticise us for looking exhausted in all the photos and leaving the reception at midnight to go get some sleep.
Fiona
Saturday, October 12, 2002
Okay...so far the wedding planning has been going along very, very well...absolutely no major problems...we're two weeks out from the Big Day in which both the wedding and reception will be held at a small, elegant restaurant...we are having a string quartet play, cocktails and hors d'oevres served butler-style for an hour before the wedding, with a sit down lunch to follow the ceremony...no dancing or any other of the traditional rituals except the cake cutting...I have only one issue and it's really bothering me...this is an adults only affair (except for 4 older children who are close to either me or my fiance)...his best man and wife want to bring not only their 3 month old baby (!) but his two children from a previous marriage!!! My fiance, god love him, is shy and has had a hard time being both polite and direct with the BM, who has a reputation for being hard-headed...and I should have written "Adults Only Please" on the invitations...so now we're having to be really, really direct...which is no problem for me as I, I'm proud to say, am the BRIDEZILLA OF LIFE!!!! I think it is our right to be demanding on issues that are important to the vision of our Special Daaaaaay...I don't make a fuss for things that are insignificant to me, and I'm prepared for things to go aglitch, but, hey: I'm paying for half of this shindig, and this kid/baby thing is important to me...
Barbara
Friday, October 11, 2002
In light of other stories here, this seems rather small, but it was truly a conscious and deliberate zilla-esque choice i made. Dear, delightful husband and i, both being previously married, went for a small fam-&-close-buds deal. i love a pretty invite, though, so we ordered some extremely simple and tasteful (if i do say so myself) but BIC-correct invitations. My zilla moment: i was possessed with the spirit of Judith Martin, and decided that i would not include reply cards, relying instead on the "intelligent, responsible adultness" of our invited guests, who were instructed on the front of the invite to "Please respond by [date] to [our mailing address]." Out of approximately 35 invitations sent, i had one -- count it, one -- reply that would have done dear Miss Manners proud, from my former employer. a large majority of my family and his didn't even call. Obviously, my sin came with a built-in penance -- "Hello, , it's ... just wondering whether you, , and <buttload o' younguns> will be coming to the wedding? ... no, i thought you were, really, i just need to get numbers to the caterer soon ..." Oh, but what a lovely day we had, almost one full year ago. All's swell that ends swell!
thisisnotmyname
OH Thursday, October 10, 2002
My 'diamond' engagement ring is actually a 'super' hand cut cubic zirconia set in white gold. It is the most realistic kind of CZ you can get. I pawn it off as being real and nobody questions it. I think the diamond industry has blood on their hands and I really want nothing to do with it, so I opted for an impostor instead. Sometimes I feel guilty for lying, but I am glad for sticking to my beliefs. Besides, real diamonds are ugly, and the ones that are not cost about as much as a brand new car. That is the irony. My impostor diamond looks better than the real ones, and nobody bats an eye. Muwahahahaha.
MadMadBride
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
I left my perfume home the day of the wedding. I wouldnt settle for any of the lovely replacements offered to me, and I had my friend rush to the store and buy me a grossly overpriced bottle of a perfume I already have like a lifetime supply of at home.
N
Paris, Tuesday, October 08, 2002
well this is more of the insanity of my mother in law. she is a strict vegetarian and offered to throw a rehearsal dinner at a italian resteraunt. she then reprinted the menus minus veal and other dishes she was morally opossed to letting others eat. so basically i told everyone about this and people were commenting left and right loudly about the absence of veal on the menu.
southernbride
Monday, October 07, 2002
I wanted to elope, but knew our parents would object. So we decided to have an itty bitty ceremony with just the immediate families at a restaurant afterwards. Well, there were all sorts of relatives that wanted to come too, and both sets of parents come from huge families. So we're having a celebration for 100. It's still low-key and not fussy at all. What's wrong? We haven't told any of our friends. Nope. They're expecting us to announce our engagement (we've been together for four years). I have two friends who have gone looking for bridesmaids' dresses already. I have a friend who is planning to sew my wedding gown. My bachelorette party has been planned. No one believes that I really don't want fuss. I'm having a party, but I'm omitting everyone who wants to experience a big gaudy wedding through me. Boy are they going to whine about what a bitch I am!
Bejeanie
Friday, October 04, 2002
Please forgive me for I have sinned. Because my mom hemmed my gown an inch too short, I secretly wore shoes with a lower heel to my ceremony. Because my dear well-meaning grandmother butchered the bodice of my gown, I clandestinely took it to a professional seamstress four days before I left for my wedding. I hoped that she didn't notice that it actually fit properly and that the lumps and bumps that made it look like I had weird protruding tumours were gone! Please forgive me for the secrets I have kept!
Hiding Behind a Wall of Tulle
Calgary, AB Friday, September 27, 2002
I have sinned:
I bought my dress off eBay (will probably get a couple more from there & make a tough decision when I go to see the seamstress). And there's not a flower, ribbon, or butt-bow anywhere on it.
My ex-boyfriend is one of my attendants.
My chick attendants are wearing cute summer dresses, which they picked out. The first one we bought cost $30 with tax. The second one was $23. The 3rd was $14. ::snerk::
I handed off the finding of the officiant to my sweet fiance'. Hey, I'm not gonna look for someone who can perform a Catholic/Wiccan/basic heathen ceremony (I'm the heathen). I'd be just as happy with an Elvis in Vegas.
Fiance' is wearing a purple silk tux.
And darnit - I'm wearing blue suede shoes. Just try and stop me! Hahahaha!
Squeek <email>
Seattle, WA Thursday, September 26, 2002
Well - I have to say that after reading so many horror stories, I am REALLY lucky. My parents, his mother, fiance, have all been absolutely supportive. We are having a small (50 guests) wedding, and I go on and on about the virtues of not doing things "traditionally".
My sin, though, is my absolutely unhealthy obsession with bridal magazines! I buy them every time I can! I look through them and laugh at the ugly dresses and rant about the "rules" and think that all the really young, traditional brides are stupid - and STILL I buy them.
I have no idea how many trees have died due to my disease. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
LMN
Thursday, September 19, 2002
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