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Two down, two to go.... So, I kicked one bridesmaid out of the wedding party in month three. It is now month five, and I am about to fire the maid of honor. Is it me, or is it them?
Embattled bride
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Last October I confessed that I cut 2 families from our guest list (my confession got tagged on to someone else's-It has my alias but only the last part of the confession is mine. Anyway, the mother of one of the families has just offered to help me with the alterations for the bridesmaids. She is the one with 7 kids that we cut from the guest list. Oh, dear! How can I accept her help and not invite her? How can I invite her and not her family? Maybe we will find the room. Maybe I should just tell her she's not on the guest list. Oh, dear. Such a nice gesture she made, too.
California MoB
Monday, December 27, 2004
I live in the midwest. Anything in California costs five times what it does anywhere else. And I've gone to a lot of cake and punch receptions, with gift, and never felt cheated. Saw friend or relative get married, schmoozed with other friends and relatives, hung out for an hour or so, went home. Good time had by all. The reception isn't payment for the gift any more than a gift is payment for being invited to a wedding.
Gypsy
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
I know $20K for a wedding sounds nuts. I thought so too, at first, before I started planning my wedding. But I guaranty you, $20K buys a very nice, but very modest wedding. I cut corners EVERYWHERE: Got my dress and all decorations on Ebay, my flowers from the local supermarket, had the reception in the home of a friend, catered only appetizers and side dishes while father-in-law bought and cooked all the main courses as his gift to us (it was fabulous), bridesmaids chose and bought their own dresses off-the-rack, friends donated their services as photographer and videographer, church singer and accompanyist. We had about 100 people. All this, and it STILL cost us around $10K, which we paid for ourselves. I agree that it's wrong for someone to expect their parents to cough up that kind of money for a 1-day event, but if they can afford it and want to do it - what a lucky bride and groom that is. And I don't think they're being terribly extravagant, either. Yes...one can always have just a cake and punch reception, if one chooses, but most of your guests are bringing you gifts - don't they deserve a little more hospitality than that? I would rather just elope and have no wedding at all than do something as half-assed as that. As I stated above, there are ways to cut corners and still keep it nice, but if you still can't afford it, then don't have it. Gypsy - I don't know where you live, but in California, $20K doesn't even come close to a down payment on a house.
Lisa
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
somebody on here mentioned liweddings.com, so i went to check it out... those girls are soo bratty!! one girl posted today about how her parents were paying for the whole wedding, and her mother-in law had told them she would pay for the honeymoon ( $2500) but decided to pay off her car instead so she is "only" giving them $1500 now. PLEASE!!! this girl needs to get a grip!! for their whole wedding, her and her fiance will only need to come up with $1000 ( to cover the rest of their honeymoon)... EVERYTHING else is being handed to them!! try coming up with $9000 for your part of it!! geez... get a grip on reality!! girls like her are the ones who give brides a bad name!
junie05
Monday, December 20, 2004
I have to say that, rereading this site months after my wedding makes me glad that the wedding is over. I was fortunate to have support from my bridesmaids, family, and friends throughout the process, and really didn't become a bridezilla. Things were stressful, especially the 24 hours before the wedding, trying to coordinate people getting into town and being at the rehearsal on time and all that. I did get to the point that I wished my husband and I had just eloped. But then I look at the wedding pictures, and watch the video, and remember that all the stress leading up to the day was worth it. And whether you spend $1,000 or $20K on your wedding, just remember the wedding day is just one day. And speaking from experience, the planning of the wedding is nothing compared to stressors of being married. Good luck ladies!
i've been there
Monday, December 20, 2004
i am such a stupid cow.
My fiance has been really stressed at work trying to get things done for a deadline. so i have been asking him wedding related questions - to which he keeps replying (quite rightly..) that he'll look at it properly next week. Then i threw a fit and said he doesn't care about our wedding, or me, and i am leaving and he doesn't love me... and if he loved me he would have to prove it. etc. basic high school stuff (scaled up to bitch proportions).I pretended to call the venue and cancel. (i dialled a wrong number so he'd overhear). Anyway, after tears and tantrums and storming out... we eventually made up. Well i think we kind of made up but as he put it, 'Something has died'. Something is now missing and we haven't mentioned the wedding at all since. That was 4 days ago. Now he says he's bored with his life, that he's discontent here and wants to move to south america for a couple years as an adventure.
I am sooooo stupid. I played games and pushed and pushed and now the most wonderful man i have ever met and the best thing that has ever happened to me - is falling out of love with me, and thinking of leaving. I could cry all over again just thinking about it.
I could explode i love him so much... and we've had the most amazing relationship until this blip. I've been pretty hormonal the last few months and insecure - i wish that were an excuse. What if i loose him because i was determined to have a chick flick roses and declaration of love, running into each others' arms moment... when there wasn't even anything wrong? I feel so lonely.
Princess Wide
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
I spent forever looking for the perfect invitation and got save the date cards to match. Now it's almost time to send them out and I absolutely hate the save the date cards I picked out.
oops
Monday, December 13, 2004
I should add I'm having a small (75 people tops) informal wedding, and wasn't including the honeymoon into my figures. There's no rule that you have to feed your guests dinner, either; afternoon wedding receptions can be cake and punch affairs - which is usually affordable for even large weddings.
Gypsy
Friday, December 10, 2004
I'd rather someone spend $20k on their wedding than cheap out on it and unleash gimme frenzy on the people they invite with showers, dollar dances, pay-for-my-honeymoon registries, etc.
I didn't spend much on my wedding- about $2k. But I only had 30 people. Anyone who has a large guest list due to big families and such is pretty hard pressed to get everyone in one room and feed them for under $10k unless they want to make 50 gallons of mashed potatoes and bake 100 chicken breasts themselves. That's the facts, jack. Finally:
Dump him, October Bride!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Seems that there will always be people that feel the need to show off their money, or at least make people think they have a lot of money. And there will also always be people that resent other people's money, but they try to hide their resentment by accusing the more well-off of being shallow. Maybe you all should get over yourselves.
Another obnoxious contribution
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Actually bitchypants, the correct term is SHALLOW. But feel free to keep telling yourself what you want to hear.
Anon Y. Mouse
Thursday, December 09, 2004
october bride...
i do have debts. i have $20,000 in college debt that i am paying off ( i just graduated this passed may)... and just in case you're wondering, my mommy and daddy aren't paying for my wedding... they are giving me $5000 and said the rest is up to me, for exactly the reason you said- they didn't want me to get caught up in the whole " fairy princess for a day give me whatever i want" thing. i am an extrememly conservative person as far as what i spend on clothes, makeup and just " things" in general... and that is the reason i am able to spend the money to have a nice wedding day and throw a nice party for my friends and family who have supported me my whole life. the weddings not just for me and my fiance... its a way to thank our friends and families for being there for us, too.
junie05
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
To those who think I'm jealous or envious - I'm not. I just flat out think anyone who goes into debt for a wedding day is an idiot. And as for it "just being what it costs" - not if you're smart, clever, and a good negotiator. Those who are wealthy and can afford 20K, enjoy it. I'm not, and don't care. I love my man and would marry him in front of a justice of the peace wearing blue jeans if that's all we could afford. I didn't spend my childhood dreaming of the Special Day I'd be a Fairy Princess. Plus I'm a bit older than the average bride, and believe me your priorities settle after you've experienced paying off a few debts!
Gypsy
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Ok this in in response to Octoberbride and him knocking up his ex. Listen--if he is going around poking his pecker where it doesn't belong--It has nothing to do with your bitchyness. It means he's just not that in to you. Do you think he could be faithful after knocking up another woman while ya'll are planning a wedding. Dump him. Do better. No woman should have to deal with that crap. You can be bitchy if you want and if he blames you, then he's the one with some screws loose and probably needs professional help.
Oh and women who spend 20k or more on a weddding are not insecure, and are not stupid for wasting money. The correct term is WEALTHY. Keep being jealous ladies--it suits you.
bitchypants
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
I absolutely hate his parents. Mine need some work and it's 6 months until the wedding and no one gives a fuck, except me.
His parents don't like me, yet they don't even know me, they just somehow know what their adult son, whom they treat like a retarded child needs in their life? WTF? Seriously, the father emotionally punished his son by ignoring him the week after our engagement and tried to talk him out of proposing--basically ruining our engagement weekend. Then when I am coming to visit for the first time since the engagement. Not one person asks to see the ring or offers a congratulatioon. What slime. The father ignores me and the mother pretends---I'd prefer to be wholly ignored.
I just emailed his sister and told her we weren't coming to Christmas at her house b/c her parents don't like me and we decided it would be best to celebrate with a family who accepted the both of us (mine) Then I asked for the addresses of their redneck freak family member so I can invite them to the wedding. She hasn't answered back, I guess that was bitchy. I don't give a rat's ass at this point.
The dad has threatened not to come to the wedding. I dont' really care, infact I'd prefer not to have the fat bastard their. I dare him to ignore me at my own wedding. Have I gone Bridezilla. No. Am I going too??? Yes!
I just don't give a damn anymore. It shouldn't be about them and their freakish overcontrolling relationship with their adult children. It should be about us and us making a lives for ourselves far far far away from his family.
Oh and his middle sister was knocked up when she got married, and somehow that ended up being ok. I hate that rat bastard.
Oh and now my parents. Oh mom would just love the wedding to look like older sis. And eveytime I'm state what I am doing she doesn't like it, well no shit Mrs. Judgemental it's not what you planned for sister's wedding. Of course you don't like it b/c it doesn't stroke your ego. FREAK!!!!!!!!!!
Why do people freak out around weddings. Seriously, his red neck family has no reason to look down on this girl or her family. We are not alky's, we are not rednecks who leave cups and cans of tobacco spit around our home, we know what a fucking artichoke is!!!!!We are not inbred, like I suspect some of them are. My poor fiance.... he is nothing like them. It is soooooo sad.
bitchypants
ga Wednesday, December 08, 2004
I don't give a crap who in your family thinks we must do this or that. I am the one who gave up everything to move and be here. I am the one who understood why the wedding should be in YOUR hometown. The least anyone could do would be to UNDERSTAND me a little bit more instead of pushing us to the altar just because they want a wedding.
bitchzilla
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
not everyone who has a $20 K wedding is a spoiled brat... my wedding in june is costing almost that much ( including the honeymoon) and that is with things like my mom making MY dress as well as the flower girl and bridesmaids dresses, only ordering bouquets from the florist ( centerpeices are included with the caterer, so the florist won't need to do any fancy-pants centerpieces ) as well as making my own programs, placecards, and getting all the accerssories ( flower girl basket, toasting flutes, etc) with 50% off coupons at michaels and AC Moore. i am also using a caterer that includes cake, DJ, flower decorations, etc....
my point is that i am trying to save money and i am still spending almost $20 K... its just what the wedding industry costs these days
junie05
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Anyone who spends 20K on a 6 hour party is an insecure moron or a spoiled brat. Or both.
Anon Y. Mouse
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Gypsy, you're the bride and part of being a bridesmaid is wearing the dress the bride picks out (as long as it isn't crazy expensive). Tell the MOH and all the other BMs that they'll be wearing X dress, from Y company in Z color. If the MOH complains, tell her its your wedding not hers.
Magpie Bride
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Gypsy, wow, what envy!!! im having a 20k wedding, if it bothers you, its because you are so envious and wish it was you.
i'm worth well over 20k!!
get over it!!
just me
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
So, I am getting married in September 2005 and just purchased my dress. Get this the MOH wants a dress similar to mine, while the rest of the bridesmaid's wear something different,(but all the same). Is this normal? I mean does the MOH have to have a different dress, or can I insist that everyone wear the same dress. I don't want to come off as a bitch. I want all my bridesmaids to wear a dress that makes them feel good, But shouldnt' I be the only one that stands out?
pretty in white
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
I can't believe the chick who thinks she's entitled to a 20K wedding! That's not a wedding, it's a down payment on a house! Ye gods, it's one day! My wedding is coming in at well less than a thou; found a dress for $20 at a discount shop, my 2 attendants are buying their own - and they get to pick out their own, one in lavendar and one in green. FH will not be wearing a tux, just a nice dark suit. Mom will be doing the food, I just have to pay for the ingredients. A friend who does cakes will be doing the cake for pennies, another friend who knows where to get discount flowers will be doing arrangements and bouquets for cost. I just need a place and a photographer, and we're ready to go.
I can't believe how expensive wedding stuff has gotten! Back in the 1970's, I must have gone to 2 weddings a year, and I know not one of them spent any 10K - the average cost these days? Unbelievable. According to who? All of them were in a church, all of them had cake and punch receptions, all of them were lovely. Ladies, get your priorities straight.
Gypsy
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
I am the Bride right? Tell that to the In-Laws that are insisting on having flowers on the altar even going so far as paying for it!
I feel like this a slap in my face basically saying "you didn't plan your wedding right" If I wanted stupid flowers on the altar I would have told the florist so, as it was I didn't and just butt out already!
December Bride
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
You asked why this was happening to you: Because the Forces of Good don't want to see you end up with a DIRTY SNEAKING RAT who knocks up his exes, that's why! Because you deserve better!!! A LOT BETTER!
Need revenge? You already have it! All you have to do is sit back and watch! Let that cheater go live miserably ever after with his Jerry Springer family, getting stuck with shitty diapers and rediscovering why he and his ex broke up in the first place. Watch and enjoy while within a year he's drunk-dialing other exes for secret booty like the stinking rat he is. Eventually, you will even feel pity for this pathetic, immature loser who you escaped having to marry just in the nick of time.
Meanwhile, you will be free to go on to reach new heights of fame and fortune! Repeat after me: YOU DESERVE BETTER, OCTOBER BRIDE!!!
Hang in there October Bride <email>
Monday, November 29, 2004
Ugh. My wife and I have been married for twenty-plus years but her youngest sister had never done so until last year. We both were kind of surprised she was taking the plunge. For most of her adult life, she had shot down one guy after another as not good enough. She is the biggest Princess and I guess we all assumed no guy would ever be good enough.
Well, lo and behold she starts seeing this guy, and eventually they get engaged. Halleleujah! Naturally, everyone's thrilled but the bride-to-be soon killed any joy we felt at her impending nuptials. There is something about a fortysomething first-time bride that makes for the worst kind of " Bridezilla."
My wife reluctantly agreed to be MOH even though she knew she was letting herself in for a world of s**t! Guilt played a big factor because one sister couldn't afford it, one was not emotionally able to handle it, one was no longer living and the other was gay and the family had a problem with her showing up with her partner. So it fell to my poor, well-meaning wife to be the MOH.
Well, for months afterward it was all about the wedding, wedding, wedding. She made us miserable over it for months and months! No detail was too small to obsess over. As obsessive a woman as my wife is, even she lost patience with it over time.
It was all about the wedding, wedding, wedding ad nauseum. It's all she ever talked about and she became annoyed when any other topic was discussed. She expected her fortysomething siblings and in laws - women who have been hitched for years - to gush over every piddling, granular detail or thought. Anyone who couldn't see that of course it had to be all about HER - all wedding, all the time - was just written off in her book as "selfish."
I think there is something to be said about the theory about girls who feel they didn't get enough parental attention making the most obnoxious brides - that they feel they have complete retribution coming for their wedding day. So, even though she was much more spoiled and coddled than her sisters and a total Princess, Bridezilla somehow felt she had a big payback coming.
The phone rang two, three, four times a day. An hour on the phone spent debating over the favors would be followed two hours later by another hour conversation on the same topic. Entire Saturdays and Sundays spent looking at dresses would be for naught, as option anxiety gripped Bridezilla time and again. She expected all her female friends and family to sit in rapt attention as she expoused endlessly about the smallest minutia of the "Special Day."
Another contributing factor was the Groom. Now, her husband is a little more blue collar than what you'd picture the Princess with. Twenty years ago she wouldn't have given a guy like that the time of day, and here she is married to him. The phrase everyone says behind her back but never to her face is that, "She settled."
He is a good guy and means well. He adores her and tries hard to make her happy. I like him a lot but he has bought himself a world of trouble! She is about as out of place living with a guy like him as Eva Gabor was in "Green Acres."
Worst of all, now that the wedding is all over she is obsessing about turning their modest Floral Park bungalow into an East Hampton villa. Now she badgers us all endlessly about the house and has become "WIFEZILLA!"
My confession is that she made us both so miserable with the damned wedding and now with the damned house that neither one of us will have a shred of sympathy when he finally gets fed up and kicks her to the curb.
Hubby of the MOH
Monday, November 29, 2004
Hey at leat you don't have to worry about your photos or your video anymore ~ Check us out!
http://www.crystalinephoto.com
Photographer of the Bride! <email>
Arvada, CO Saturday, November 27, 2004
you know the reason why my fh, wants to call off the wedding, because he got his ex pregnant!! i'm so upset, maybe if I hadnt been so judgemntal and a bitch this wouldnt be happening to me.
october bride
Saturday, November 27, 2004
I was planing on getting Married on the 22nd of Jan but now my FH is being shipped to Kuwait on the 5th of Dec so we have to cancel all of our plans and get married next week. I am really upset because he will be gone for six months and his job is dangerous. What a way to start life together but I better get used to it as a military spouse. I was looking forward to wearing a pretty dress and having our parents there.We still haven't got our rings! I know that is not the important thing though. I am just really worried about him and will miss him so much. I also have to move my house and his house to our new house all by myself. I am going to miss him so much I want to go to bed and cry for a week.
QuickBride
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
The wedding isn't for six months and I'm already starting to wish we'd eloped (or at least had a destination wedding; something that didn't involve planning). And I'm not even really that busy preparing because I've got people helping me. It's just the stress.
Six months left yippee
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
after reading your messages, the wedding is off. i love my friends and family and couldn't be bothered getting pissed off over this shit
nevermarried
Monday, November 22, 2004
Ok we got married and it was wonderful and I love my husband. But some of the people who were invited to the wedding just s**k. We weren't asking for presents just presence. But only 1/2 of the people who RSVPed actually showed up. So we spent about $1,500 on beer, wine and food that we just had to give away to the people who did come. It would have been nice to save that money. If I had only know that half of the people would "be sick" and not show up it would have been nice. The wedding was beautiful and I wish that more people would have enjoyed it. And it really S**KS that I have to just say "that's okay" when people say I'm sorry I couldn't come but... What I want to say is here is your bill. My hubby says if we ever get married again (and what we should have done if we would have known before) we are going to have people put down a deposit with their RSVP.
wifezilla
Friday, November 19, 2004
actuallt i was the bride last year,but this year my sis in law is the one getting married and hell no i dont regret this one!i was forced by my monster in law to invite 42 people to my bridal shower last year ,only 4 showed up.i invited all the extended family and none of them came .well this year when the sis in law got married they all came outta town for her.finally after a year of keeping in line,i went off at the monster in law!one of the groomsmen backed out several days befoire the wedding ,along with the rest of that family,we were left having to pay for the food for them ,so when the bitches showed up at the bridal shower this year,i didnt talk to them.they were so pissed that i didnt talk to them for the whole bridal shower that afterwards they told my monster in laws that i said soemthingi didnt say.sure we had a conversation but i didnt say what the person said i said.and becasue they belived it i havent been talking to the inlaws for months .after she said whatever it was all i could do not to take a few days off and go to her house (out of state)and beat the hell out of that bitch!so the wedding is tommorrow and you would think the queen if sheeba is getting married and they are all coming ..and people are afraid that i am going to say soemthing to these people .and hell is they start soemthing i am going to finish it!
welllllllhmmmmmmm
Friday, November 19, 2004
Bad sister Bride, Talk to the sister, she might be fine with it. I am re-married with 2 kids and 3 step-kids. When my sister announced she was getting married I told her she did not have to have me as her maid or honor, bridesmaid or anything. To use her friends and I would sit in the church and be happy for her.
Your sister might be quite happy to sit back and let someone else do the work and worry while she watches from the background.
Another quick thought, since she is married (and if she has gone through he own wedding) maybe make her a bridal consultant. Helping you with details and decisions.
raven
Friday, November 19, 2004
Now he tell me that he wants to brake off our engagement because he might still have feeling for his ex. why is this happening to me!!!
october bride
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Bad Sister Bride - Good luck to you! If you include two sisters and exclude just one, you are opening yourself up for years of resentment later on. Is it really worth it? Even if the excluded sister says she doesn't mind...deep in her little heart, I bet she does, and she'll never forget that you excluded her.
Tracy
Thursday, November 18, 2004
I haven't asked one of my sisters to be a bridesmaid even though I've asked both my other 2 sisters, and we have all been BM's for each other up until now. I'll be telling her that it's because my FH only wanted 3 attendants (he could have chosen a 4th). Really it's because she's married with a baby and I think there comes a time when it's not appropriate to be a bridesmaid anymore. Also, 4 attendants each is way too many for our wedding. I haven't even had the guts to speak to her about it yet.
Princess Wide: There are lots of ways to include people without having to have them as a bridesmaid. You could ask your friend to do a reading during the ceremony or something like that.
Bad Sister Bride
London, UK Wednesday, November 17, 2004
I am getting married in 18 months. I am deleriously in love and convinced i can keep my head - and make rational non bridezilla decisions WITH my FH, and my mom is excited but not bossy and my chosen bridesmaids are well organised and single. My problem is that... i have 2 other friends who should be bridesmaids who i haven't asked. The first will mind not being asked (i was her chief witness at ther wedding), but i don't really worry about just not bringing it up with her. The other, i am worried about. I love her, and she is a brilliant friend. I'd give her a kidney. But something has stopped me asking her, and now that i've tried to formulate an arguement in my head - in case it comes up... i realise i don't really have a reason. I could pretend (and probably will) that i didn't want her to be running around after me while her husband spends the day bored - but the truth is, i think i was worried she'd judge me (she's super religious and we're having a civil ceremony).
Problem is: now she's been asked to be a bridesmaid at a mutual friend's pagan wedding - so i can't argue that she'd judge (it's a full blown pagan thing) and i can't ask her now... 5 months after i told the other 2 bridesmaids, cause it'll look like an after thought.
Oh and to make things worse - i like her much much more than one of my 2 bridesmaids i did ask (and she knows i don't really like this person... so she'll feel really unappreciated).
CRAP!!!! how do i make her realise that she is more important than other guests without back tracking.
Princess Wide
Scotland, Wednesday, November 17, 2004
ok, I vented and im sorry, so maybe I lose my temper sometimes, that's probably why I don't have any friends, my fiance just told me he wants to end it and I am so upset!! I fucking hate brides!!
october bride
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
October Bride, they're ALL princes, until you marry them. Then they turn into toads. Dr. Phil (Relationship Rescue)says: A woman wants a husband who (1)cares about how her day went, and listens to her talk about it, and (2)invests his time in improving her quality of life. Dr. John (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) says: (1) When a man hears a woman talking about the events of her day, he perceives it as nagging, and doesn't want to hear it, and (2) the more a woman does for a man, the less he will do for her in return. Dr. Laura (The Care & Feeding of Husbands) goes into great detail about how to look after these high-maintenance pets, and believe me, if you talk to your Prince the way you chat on this board, yours will vanish into the thin, night air.
cat collector
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
last week i went out for drinks with my friend and a friend of my fiance's was bartending. he got done work, and sat down to drink with us. we all got hammered and my friend's husband picked her up. me and the BT were flirting and he told me whe really wanted to kiss me, so i told him i would. he went out the kitchen door, i went out the back door and we had a 20 minute full blown hot ass make out session out back of the bar. nobody saw us or anything, and neither of us would ever tell, but now i can't get this guy out of my mind....
badgirl bride
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Not long after I got engaged I started developing these crushes on some guys at work. I've always had a thing for my co-worker who works in the same office as me. But now it's spread to one of the guys in another office (hot bum!!!)and one of the shop floor area leaders! The love life with fiance is a little non-existant - I think we are just too comfortable. Now I just fantasize about these guys all day. I haven't acted on them though, they all have pretty serious relationships. I just feel so guilty!!!!!
this sucks.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
I had a better time at my bachelorette party than my fiancee did. Even though his was well planned and talked about for months. HA!
December Bride
Monday, November 15, 2004
What did I do in the heat of bridal insanity that I wish I could take back? I got married! I'm not alone in this; once I was entertaining a group of ladies, all married, when a bridal party emerged from the church across the street from my house. Half my guests raced out onto the porch to hoot, holler, and scream "you'll be sorry!" I hadn't even served them any alcohol.
Where I work now, somebody gets married very few months. I've noticed nobody takes up collections to buy gifts or hosts bridal showers for these events. Nobody can stand it anymore. I'm sure the brides don't comprehend their co-workers' lack of enthusiasm. I suspect this same force is behind the success of the initiatives to ban same-sex marriage. Nobody wants to have to hear about, be invited to, or spend money on any more weddings!
Cat collector
Monday, November 15, 2004
Actually, in all honesty, I come from a very wealthy family, and so does my husband.
The wedding was very upscale, and cost my father a fortune.
I'm very elitist, and some people may call me a snob, but I don't think I am.
I was totally tired, I don't normally do drugs (and haven't since then), but I have done coke a few times in the past. My maid of honor brought some, and we did it.
I didn't appear drunk at all, I was smiling, happy, chatty, and seemed completely awake and darling, thanks to the cocaine.
If I didn't do it, I would have fallen asleep, and been cranky, and would have gotten drunk.
So fuck off octoberbride. You will most likely divorce.
PrettyBride
Saturday, November 13, 2004
i can't stand people who, from the minute they meet your fiance have been telling you that they don't like him, that you are doing the wrong thing, etc. they even take it as far as not putting his name on your invitation to their wedding ( and i was a bridesmaid, too!!!!) AND THEN they act all hurt and pissed off when you don't ask them to be in your wedding!! whatever, bitch.... we'll see how long it takes for you to drive your poor husband to commit suicide!! GRRR!!!
junie05
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Really couldn't be less bothered planning this "Day I've Always Dreamed Of", if one more person tells me August will be here soon I'll SCREAM, I'm too busy trying not to lose the engagement ring!
boots
Ireland, Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Sometimes when I am on UW and all these women are like, "isn't my dress fabulous?" "don't I look great in it?" I just want to respond...that is the most hideous fucking piece of bunting I have ever seen and in it, you look like a horse on crack. Smooches, hun. Smiley, fucking, smiley.
Verbal Diarrhea
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
I did cocaine at my wedding reception, and no one except my maid of honor knows. We did it together. My husband has no idea I have EVER done drugs like that.
PrettyGirl
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Oh another thing, Why is is people care my FH is black, I wish people would stop saying its going to be an oreo cookie wedding, fuck you.
Pretty skinny bride
Friday, November 05, 2004
My two bridesmaid are two 20 year olds who were helping my office in the summer. They helped with the wedding planning inAug and now nothing because I have redelegated.
First they insisted on wearing their colours ( I am paying for the dresses).Then when I needed help in my office on my day off for one hour, they refused...and then went off to try their bridesmaid dresses. Meanwhile, I am working hard in my own company trying to cover expenses and pay for their dresses.
I was so mad I called the dress maker to change the colouring.
Now one of the bridesmaid with an offensive current boyfriend is self inviting himself to my wedding. I said he was not invited because I had to cut down the guest list. and she threw a fit as to why I didnt notify her. In fact, I havent even finalized guests lists. She seems to think that it is a beauty pagent and could nt understand the concept of "Its my wedding!"
mandarin
Friday, November 05, 2004
I am so fucking sick of fat brides picking on me because I have high self esteem and because I will look great in my dress.
A great example of this is *nikki* from uw. Kiss my ass you fat bitch, You know I have never said anything condescending or sarcastic for you to be an asshole. I just don't get whats up with ALREADY married women who still hang around wedding forums. Be fucking married and get lost!!
Pretty skinny bride
Thursday, November 04, 2004
I really don't have THAT much to complain about at all. My wedding was perfect, went off with no problems. And the reception wasn't bad at all. The only thing is, we had a small wedding. Well, we originally planned on only close family and friends at our destination wedding, but my parents and family kept inviting folks. My final count was 52 guests. Fine, they were paying the original cost. Here's the deal though: about 11 extra folks showed up. And believe me the reception folks did a head count and afterwards we owed them for those people. That wouldn't have been a problem, but we had an pick up food buffet, and they did NOT bring in extra food! So why the extra $$ per person? They didn't want to release our photos until they got paid (it was a package deal, with the wedding, photos, and reception). That just pissed me off, especially since we ran out of the best foods. So I paid for seats? Whatever.
Reception gripes!
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Mom started up with the cake issue again. We were out shopping for here MOB dress (everything she picks is SOOOOO not appropriate, can't she just like to wear beige like most mothers??) and we popped into this neat gift store with a big Christmas display that sells cool imported stuff. There was a little section of mother of pearl gifts like coasters, photo frames and the like. I picked up this neat cake cutter/server set (different but I wasn't in love with it) and mom says "oh, that's neat! What will you be using to serve the cake with at the wedding?" I replied, "the croque-en-bouche (tower o' cream puffs!) will be broken off piece by piece so we won't need a server set and the German cakes will have serving tools provided by the hotel". Her shocked comment, "so you aren't having a wedding cake?!", I reply back as calmly as possible, "croque-en-bouche is a traditional French wedding cake", her rebutal, "Are we French?!?!", No comment from me so she continues, "Maybe I'll just get a small one". I say, "No, I don't think that's a good idea". She says, "Maybe just a small one at the parents' table". I respond, "oh, look, Christmas ornaments shaped like swans with little feathers!"
I can sense that this will be a bit of a sensitive topic for the next few months as I am SOOO anti-gigantic-white-crusty-flavourless-ugly-wedding cake (mom thinks that these cakes are BEAUTIFUL and she always wanted one so vicariously through me, she will have one). Lovely.
bride with ninja skills
Thursday, November 04, 2004
This is for Bitter... I found your gripe not bitchy at all. I think your cheap family and friends suck. If I were you I would be completely enraged and horrendously upset and i am NOT kidding.
DEMOCRATIC MAD Bride
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
LOL...Liweddings.com is so chipper it's scary. And am I the only one who sees the humor in the fact that save-the-date items are referred to as "STDs"?!?!?!?
BeachBride
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Please join!! my wedding webpage, you'll love it!!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/liweddingssuck/messages
uh-oh
Sunday, October 31, 2004
You want to see conspiracy?? go onto LIWEDDINGs.com, if your not kissing debmahers ass, they wont let you get a word in edgewise, try it, i urge you. She owns the site, and if she doesnt like what you say the post is deleted. how fucked up is that? oh and she is not even getting married, and all these ass kissers believe her, lol. too funny.
antiliweddings
Sunday, October 31, 2004
I should be happy that I got more money than gifts. That's what I wanted, now I realize that I wanted more gifts.
$$$$
Sunday, October 31, 2004
I am so glad that I am escaping the hell of the BIG WEDDING. I'm having a potluck ceremony and reception at my aunt's (lovely) farm. My FH and I are getting married at the courthouse, then having a dear friend of mine oversee our vows. I'm wearing traditional Japanese dress (kimono, obi, nagajuban, way too many cords of some vital significance) and my hubby is wearing formal dress plus a haori (Japanese formal coat). My best friend's mom is helping me do the invites and decorations.
I'm so glad we're not going the traditional route. We could never afford it, and white makes me feel fat. o_O
the natural log of x is equal to one <email>
Saturday, October 30, 2004
I never seem to ask anyone for help. Is this wrong of me? Both families have been great, not to argue over anything, I think the wedding will be great because of that! (We are getting marrie in April '05) But is it wrong of me to not ask my bridesmaids to do ANYTHING??
Too much to take on?
Friday, October 29, 2004
i can't believe there are people in this world that are your friends thru thick and thin, and then along comes a wedding and all of a sudden the thick gets thicker and they get bitchy. i can't believe i am friends with this girl. if i had known what a bitch she truly is/was then i seriously doubt if we would have even been friends to begin with. i get engaged and the last two months prior to my wedding (i'm getting married in two weeks) she totally cuts off all communication. sorry if her boyfriend wont give her a ring and she is the last of the 'group' to get married, but get over it. i truly hope we are 'friends' long enough for her to get engaged and for her to allow me to be in her wedding and pay backs will be hell. she has told all our friends that are coming to the wedding how awful the dress is, how awful the dress she has on is, etc. hello! if you would get off your high horse and realize there are other people in the world that have feelings too, then maybe just maybe, you would cherish a friendship enough to not complain and help out instead of driving me totally crazy these last two months.
MY DAY
Friday, October 29, 2004
I'm so mad - my fh and I went ring shopping. I have an antique engagement ring and we were looking for rings that would kinda match it and kinda be okay w/ modifications for both of us. Well, I can't even wear a wedding band with this ring because of the setting! I don't want to get it re-set. I'm thinking of getting a big honking wedding ring literally stuffed with diamonds now in revenge to the evil ring gods.
stupid ring
Thursday, October 28, 2004
I worked VERY hard to only invite people we really wanted at the wedding. Just relatives and friends that we keep in touch with, almost no co-workers. So my FMIL insists we invite all of these people that I have never met, that have NO reason to be invited to the wedding other than that the in-laws had been to their kid's weddings and had given gifts. SO GUESS WHAT HAPPENED? They all replied no. FMIL thinks this is all about gift payback. I am thisclose to strangling her.
Zilla from Manila
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
i'm freaking out! i'm relocating for my FH in december and i have to set everything up for my wedding BEFORE i go otherwise i'm stuck leaving it up to my slacker bridesmaids who 1.) don't help 2.) have told me they are jealous and 3.) don't like the fact that i'm moving. it's just for a year and a half! no one is excited for me and i have to do everything on my own. my FH is in the navy and never is around and i'm so stressed that i feel too guilty to mention any of this to him. his stupid fucking parents STILL haven't RSVPed to our engagement party. they hate me and his fucking step mom is talking shit to her whole family about me! the woman has never met me. is real mother is so nice though but she wants to do the lights for the wedding. one problem though....she does TACKY lights..for a living! i want to be nice but this is MY day and so i asked my FH to talk to her about it and he hasn't said a fucking word to her. it's been 3 MONTHS!! recently i had to write an ass kissing email to his step monster saying how lucky my FH is to have her in his life and blah blah blah. basically it was to invite her to the engagement party and the woman write me back a couple lines saying how brandon never talks about me and not one FUCKING WORD about her coming or not!! i have to plan a move, a wedding, apply to a college in a new town, and move 3,500 miles away from everyone i've ever known while kissing her ugly fat ass and my FH still doesn't get it. i need help. i need my bridesmaids to get a fucking clue! they're here to help me. not bitch about their own shit. yes, i know they have problems and lives but when one had a baby i was soooo there for her. planning showers, finding gifts, encouraging her, holding her hand through every rough moment and getting her excited about her baby and now she doesn't even act like she gives a flying fuck about my wedding!!!!!!! everytime i ask any of them what i can do to get them involved they just say, "i don't know" and when i ask them what they think i should do they say the same thing! i just want to scream and cry and hit anything i can. at the same time i'm incredibly disappointed i thought this would be something to remember and now i have no good memories of planning my wedding with them. oh, and my step sister insists on wearing a black chinese style dress when mine are cornflower blue strapless dresses and she lives out of town and doesn;t give a damn about my wedding. my mom said she could be in it. i told my mom no. SHE MADE THE FUCKING MESS SO SHE CAN CLEAN IT! things just can't go on like this. i can't be upbeat anymore for show. i can't smile when i'm sad anymore. i have zero patience left and i think i'm going to have a nervous breakdown.
this HAS to get better
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
I recently invited all my coworkers to my wedding, but since I couldn't afford to feed everyone asked if they would be willing to bring a covered dish. The wedding is very casual - jeans and a picnic in the backyard - and I stipulated no gift necessary... yet, I feel as if I am the tackiest creature on the planet.
How do you re-invite someone to your wedding, and do it the right way?
Sorry Sally
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Hey, Slightly Seething, I'm completely with you on your no-show, no-gift guests! I had 10 who never responded at all, who I had to call on the phone and ask them (as sweetly as possible) ARE YOU COMING OR NOT? Some said yes, and then didn't show, and then one couple left me a voice mail saying "We're going to try to be there!" Who does that, I ask you? Who doesn't know we have a deadline to give final numbers to the caterer, and if they don't show we're stuck paying for their uneaten dinners!!! AND THEN! When this couple did show up, they brought their screaming 8-month-old INFANT with them (the invitation said "Adults Only Please). So now I have a lovely video of our ceremony where you hear nothing but the screaming of their child for a full FIVE MINUTES. One of the other guests finally got up and asked her to please take the baby outside. Can you even imagine?
Bless me for I have sinned against the sacred institution of the family. When my daughter the Bride (though definitely not a bridezilla) went through the guest list I okayed the removal of 2 families from the list, just because they are larger families (one has 4 kids, one has 7 kids) and we could reduce the list by 14 people in one fell swoop. I feel so guilty! They are such nice families and nice children. I promise to add them back in if we can afford it, plus I will do a penance of licking 14 invitation envelopes instead of using a wet sponge.
California MoB
Monday, October 25, 2004
Ok..ok..I admit it..I have not been as motivated to plan this wedding as my co-maid of honourzilla would like..or at least picked out the dress. I am planning to start looking for a dress in December. Ok? December. Hey, if my co-maid of honourzilla is that impatient, why doesn't she go and search out all of the wedding dress shops in toronto in preparation. Maybe she could be my personal wedding shopper. nicole, that should keep you busy!!!
treefrog
Saturday, October 23, 2004
I'm not a bridezilla-I'm a co-Maid of Honourzilla (with my 10 yr old niece). My sister's getting married in June and, for various reasons, hasn't gotten into the whole planning thing yet. I am DYING to go wedding dress-shopping with her. I'm pretty indifferent about my own dress (I'm just excited she's getting married) and most of the other "little details" (haha, I'm obviously NOT the one getting married). The dress, however is a totally different story. She hasn't even picked out a style she likes yet! Yikes. If she knew how much this frusturates me, she would be quite amused. So Holly, if you read this (and I know you read this site) hurry up already!
MAID OF HONOUR-ZILLA
Saturday, October 23, 2004
The wedding was a few weeks ago and I'm irked at the number of friends (@12)who rsvp'd that they would come and didn't show up, costing my husband and I a couple of hundred $. The part that is seething is that only 1 called to explain and only 1 sent a gift. The only time I didn't make it to a wedding I was supposed to go to, I was very sick but later sent a very nice present. There were people who came to our wedding and didn't bring a gift and I'm not the least bit upset about them, so it's not all about the present. I'm just irritated about the total lack of consideration.
slightly seething
Saturday, October 23, 2004
I have to say that a wedding is supposed to be about 2 people who have made a commitment- and not a commital to a rubber room.
suck up and...
Saturday, October 23, 2004
At 52 I have been thru this before, albeit 27 yrs. ago. I am going to have a nuptial ceremony, instead of eloping( as I had) and I have tried to keep it all in some perspective- my BIG day was the day my beautiful daughter was born. I have decided that even tho my faith believes this is a 1st marriage for me, I still want to Keep It Simple, Stupid.
older and, I hope, wiser
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Has-Been Bride: Thank you so much! The black-dress-and-scarf idea is saving my life! My bridesmaids have been the most miserable group of complaining gas bags ever since we started looking for dresses. We've gone out twice all together (there are 4 of them) and found NOTHING! We were planning another miserable shopping trip into the city to look for dresses tomorrow, and I'm springing the black-dress-and-scarf idea on them then. Ha! Who could possibly find something to complain about with that? Though I'm sure someone will find a way! Thank you again!
Sick to death of complaining bridesmaids
Friday, October 22, 2004
I've just heard from my future sister-in-law. She has decided that my December 11 wedding (date has been set for 14 months) doesn't fit in with her shopping schedule. I kid you not. Really. She called me the other night and said she didn't realize that with everything else she has going in December, she will not have enough time to get her Christmas shopping done if she comes to our wedding. Her 4-year-old daughter is my flower girl, and she says she can still be my flower girl (that it would actually help her out if she didn't have to take her shopping!), but that I would have to find someone to babysit her (she has no dad in the picture) if I want her at the wedding. I'm stunned. I was truly struck dumb. Her mother (my FMIL) says, "Well, it IS at a very inconvenient time, you know." And that's all she said. Nobody said a WORD to me about inconvenience when we set the date OVER A YEAR AGO! Can you believe?
Un-Merry Christmas Bride
Friday, October 22, 2004
I have planned my wedding five entire times, re-casting it again and again and again to suit this relative and that set of parents and blah blah. FINALLY figured out a way NOT to piss everyone off, and set up everything - venue, celebrant, reception, wine list, invitations, menu, flowers - you name it.
Well, just got a call from the venue and it seems that the wedding party at the 2-4 time slot wants my time slot from 4:30 to 6:30. So they took it.
I am planning on throwing the fit of fits about this. They can all go to Hell. AND I plan on venturing over to the venue when THEY'RE having THEIR wedding and sabotage SOMETHING!
JustAboutHadIt
Friday, October 22, 2004
I recently read an article about brides who delibratly register for stuff they don't want so they can return it for store credit to get stuff for themselves. How disgusting!
It's women like this that make all brides look bad. To any woman to plans to return all the wedding gifts (not duplicates or stuff you honestly can't use) I hope your husband knows what a greedy cow he married and he divorces you!!!
ettiquette savvy bride
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Hello everyone! My wedding was last month and was absolutely fabulous. I want to pass on a great tip that worked out very well for me and my bridesmaids. My bridesmaids ranged from age 15 to 42, with all different body-types. Finding a dress they would all like and look good in would be impossible. I told them to each find the black dress of their choice - stipulating only that it be long, straight, and not shiny. Then, I went to a fabric store and bought some gorgeous fabric in my chosen wedding color that I had hemmed into a simple scarf for each of them, and asked each of them to incorporate the scarf into their dress somehow - however they wanted. The result was fantastic! Their colors all matched, but each was just a little unique. And best of all, each had a little black dress they could wear again and again that they didn't mind paying for themselves. The dresses were very easy for all of them to find, since black dresses are everywhere, plus, they could all buy them off-the-rack - making them a whole lot less expensive than those cookie-cutter dresses you find in the bridal shop. It really was a great solution for us....
Has-Been Bride
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
I am a bride!!!!!!!!! But oh boy do i have a confession.
I used to be a call girl, my FH knows this because he used to be my client, i know people here are going to either think this is a joke or we don't really love eachother, but i love him so much and he would give his right arm for me. When we got engaged he bought me a diamond e-ring that is over 3 carats. when my car broke down he bought me a BMW, he is awesome!! he bought us a house, small but were building a new one, i love him so fucking much, now one knows, we tell people we met in philly at a party. I knowm people think this hard to believe but it's true, call girls have the same dreams too. I'm just very lucky it happened to me, most girls end up God knows where. My Hubby is so generous! he just took me shopping for new clothes to banana republic, gap, black market white house, guess. I love it, the lifestyle i always wanted, it doesn't hurt he's handsome tall and so sweet, and i'm lucky to have him. God i love him. Fuck everybody if they found out!!
USED to be
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
i should have just stuck all my bridesmaids in the ugliest, most god-awful dress with plenty of butt bows and made them wear '80's dyeable prom shoes so at least they would have a valid arguement when they complained!
grrr
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Now I'm staying late at work to get my Project Plan for The Wedding finished!
Control Freak
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
why is it that when you send out the 'time frame' of the wedding day people that are in the wedding feel the need to 'give their input'. did i ask for their input... no. do i care... no. i did care about, oh, a month ago when i asked it and got no response. now i send out the actual schedule of photo times, etc. and all of a sudden people have an opinion. and funny thing is it's all the married people that have the opinion. hello! maybe they forgot how stressful this all is or maybe they were such jackasses to their own significant others on their wedding day that they could careless about other peoples feelings as well.
my day
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
2 of my 3 bridesmaids aren't talking to one another right now. They are having big problems with their relationship and may not be friends any more. I keep telling them to never mind the wedding and to do what's right for them and their relationship first. But I selfishly want them to just get along already and go dress shopping with me.
Magpie Bride
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
2 months to go and bridesmaids are still not asking what they can do to help. I am about ready to put together a "to do" list and see how they react. I thought the purpose of having attendants is to take some of the stress of the bride. As far as I can tell their purpose is to complain about the bachelorette party and not doing what "they" want to do...dammit it is my day I wish people would start acting that way!
December Bride
Monday, October 18, 2004
Fiance and I made our invitations using a kit purchased from Staples and Microsoft Word. Had to buy a new print cartridge so the whole thing cost us about $160 (Canadian). They look freakin' fantastic!! I could not ask for better (okay, maybe if they were done by copper plate press but that's WAY over $$$) My mom is freaking thinking that our "homemade" invitations will look cheap and substandard. Probably because when my cousin married his bitch-troll of a wife, their invitations were also done on a word processor but they PHOTOCOPIED theirs onto regualar paper with a leaf pattern on it (can you say "ghetto"?). It was not nice card stock or even high quality paper, I'm talkin' about the paper you buy in packs of 350 sheets! If that is not bad enough, the photocopies were not even centered on the paper! They used a 8 1/2x11" cut in half and the words were all shifted to the left too far. Some were actually crooked!! I was in the weddiing party (2nd string bridesmaid) and had to help put these monstrosities together. I asked about the crooked ones and she said "who cares, we just won't send those ones to your mom or "groom"'s mom". Nice, how classy. To top off the nicely photocopied papers, a sheet of velum which might as well have been parchment paper cut to size (shit quality) tied with these ugly little organza bows (okay, ribbon was half decent). Yuck. Before anyone gets all "but that's what she can afford", she still brags about how much her dad makes (owns own construction business) and how they are paying for everything and what they won't "groom"'s parents had better...Okay, long story short. Mom thinks that our invites will look like bitch-troll's. Mine are wonderful & classy, not to mention better than hers! Na-na!
bride with ninja skills
Sunday, October 17, 2004
How come no one has volunteered to through me and my FH an engagement party. I also sense that my single friends put me on the back burner since I've been engaged. I need for people to be a little more excited about my wedding.
It's starting
Friday, October 15, 2004
I am spending my working hours working on a Project Plan for The Wedding which I plan to distibute to all concerned. It's not until November 2005.
Control Freak
London, UK Friday, October 15, 2004
I have a wedding to plan..I finally called about a place for the reception...time is running out...too much work..what is my problem...I want the perfect wedding..on my budget that is completely unattainable..where's the love?
zilla lovers sister
Hollith
Thursday, October 14, 2004
When my FH and I got engaged he said he wanted to help with the planning process. Even though I'm a professional event planner and I like things done a certain way I said ok. I mean it's his wedding too.
I gave him one job to do;book the DJ and gave him until the end of September to book them (he had 2 months to do it)
Did he book them yet? Of course not! The most he did was surf some websites and sent some emails. I mean is it that hard to pick up the phone and talk to a human voice!?!?
Since I called him on his procrastination, he complains that he hasn't played a big role in the planning. Well of course not especially if you were given one job to do and can't even do that. He said he may just get a guy he used to know to DJ the event because it would be nice to give the business to someone he knows. I asked if he's any good and his reply was "I'm sure he is, and he wouldn't do a bad job because he's doing it for me"
GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
A lesson to all the brides to be out there: If your man offers to help make sure he does, or else your stuck finding your vendors and most of the good ones are already booked so you're stuck with the shitty ones or the unknown ones.
*Sigh*
Cut me some slack
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
To my friends and family: PLEASE DON'T OFFER HELP IF YOU DON'T PLAN ON ACUTALLY HELPING. Yeah, I'm doing this all by myself because most of you keep dropping the ball and/or $&*@! things up. Ugh.
Zilla from Manila
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
I've had my e-ring for 3 months, and nobody notices it, and it's huge over 3 ct. and its beautiful too, WHAT THE FUCK!!!
What the fuck??
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
The MIL's $8 dress was o.k. so I guess I prematurely panicked there. Everything was wonderful. But 10 guests didn't show up (and of course no phone calls). The only ones that really bother me is the couple that said "You're inviting us to your wedding, right?". Unfortunately, I thought I had to after that. Can I send just them a bill?
10/9bride
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
It seems like if you go to someone's wedding and buy them a really nice gift, they should come to yours and buy you an equivalent gift (if they have the means to do so).
I guess I'm greedier than I thought
Saturday, October 09, 2004
if there are any girls reading this 'just for fun' and aren't the actual bride, let me give you the best advice you will EVER receive in your life... if you are asked to be in a wedding for a good friend ONLY say yes if you plan to actually support your friend and not turn into a bitchmaid that is bitter because the bride is getting married first and you have been dating your boyfriend for x-years with no ring. it isn't the brides problem. you'd probably already have that ring if you weren't such a bitch girlfriend in the first place.
bitchy
Friday, October 08, 2004
i hate guest who dont bother to rsvp and then cancel onyou at the last minute usaually 5 minutes after the finaly payment for the reception has been made. do they think the rsvp is there for decoration? they can kiss my grits if they want to be that selfish and refund my $90 per head ive payed for each inconsiderate asshole. They better get me good presents.
Lu Lu
Thursday, October 07, 2004
A friend of Fiancee had a girlfriend I and every other female friend hated. So when wedding invite time came around I clearly excluded her name from her boyfriends invite. But she simply chose to invite herself and have boyfriend call fiancee to demand her special dietry requirements for the reception. I was furious (expecially at fiancee for not telling her to get stuffed.) I refused to let her come and called her boyfriend under the premise of asking if he could usher. I managed to weasel the conversation around to where he mentioned girlfriend and was coming. I put on a surprised appologetic tone and said "im sorry is she coming?" Silence on his end "I'm certain I didn't invite her, she's not on a guest list or seating plan, Is she on your invitation?" at this point he came back with the invitation and said no she wasnt' but he assumed............I cut him off and said "I'm sorry but there is no room for her then." Husbanhd was most upset when niether showed at wedding.
Lu Lu <email>
liverpool, nsw Thursday, October 07, 2004
I hate snipers on ebay who come through at the last minute and bid 50 cents more on an item you were trying to get for your wedding.
grrrrrrrrr
Thursday, October 07, 2004
i hate people who dont want to hear about my wedding, and i hate people who change the conversation when i bring my wedding up, fuck you i dont need you.
hater
Thursday, October 07, 2004
My FMIL has 2 things she needs to do for this wedding: plan the rehearsal dinner and show up to the wedding. It's less than a month away and NOTHING has been decided for the dinner. If I have to plan that, there's going to be hell (and a fat bar bill) to pay.
Zilla from Manila
Thursday, October 07, 2004
I'm really suprised not a lot more brides post as much.
Just me
Thursday, October 07, 2004
i've had enough! i have one month to go and i just don't know if i can take any more wedding crap. i have yet to hear from my one of my bridesmaids and it's going on two months now. i've tried to call with no answer. this is getting to be a bit of a problem. i am beginning to finalize a lot of plans now including a program with her name included and i would have better luck choosing colors with the blind (no offense to the blind). if it isn't one thing it is another. things were fine, normal, going well, everyone was in their little happy places. with one month to go it could possible all go to hell!
GOD, if you are listening...
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Well, it looks like fate has given me my long overdue payback. I have a bit of a problem where I look at wedding sites at work instead of focusing all my efforts into my job. Last night I was at the flower shop choosing flowers with fiance and my phone would not stop ringing!!! I have to carry this phone 24/7 in the event of crisis (I deal with customer issues and in automotive EVERYTHING is a crisis!). This phone is what I like to refer to as the "electronic leash". I spent most of the time on the phone while my fiance and the store owner picked out the flowers. Boo :( Somehow it seems wrong that work is now invading my wedding time when it's supposed to be the other way around! Not fair!
bride with ninja skills
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
I have three days until my wedding day and I am freaking out, I just found out my crazy grandmother is coming, great! Then I just do not feel ready, between finshing school for the second time, taking care of a baby and trying to get everything ready I am going crazy. I just hope that my FH's mother does not show up, Please god hear my prayers!!!!
Almost there
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
i am making life hell for my fiance because i don't want to move to where he is ( 2 hours from where i live now) after the wedding. don't i have the right to not want to leave a good job, all my family and friends, and the only place i've ever known??!?!
he needs to grow a set, be a man and let me have my way and move to me!!!! grrr!!!!!!!
hmm... on second thought- this wedding might not happen after all...
june bride
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Oh my God. Oh My God! My FMIL just arrived in town. She is all excited because she only paid $8 for her gown. She was really pleased to tell me that she got it on 1/2 price day at the thrift shop. And I thought my biggest worry was that she would get arrested for possession of marijuana at the airport.
10/9bride
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
I got a be-yoo-tiful sapphire with two interlocking white gold and diamond inlay bands (one for the engagement, the other custom made for the wedding). Absolutely gorgeous, unique, not expensive (we had a friend do the custom work) and something different than the standard ring that everyone has.
BeachBride
Monday, October 04, 2004
Holy crap. Why is it people who are supposed to be supportive and supportive (ie, FAMILY!!) turn into inconsiderate, obnoxious, selfish and bone-headed individuals? The closer this wedding is getting (it's like 10 months away, mind you) the more I am realizing that this wedding is all about my mother showing up her family and making sure they understand that her daughter(s) have turned out so well, her wedding is nicer than your kids' weddings, my mother of the bride's dress is flashier that yours was, blah, blah, blah. This wedding is turning into a dog and pony show for my mom. I hear the time-honoured phrase "but it's your day, I want you to have whatever you want" but in the next breath I hear "I just want you to have something nice. I want you to have the wedding I never had". For example, I want lots of different types of cakes instead of one big white nasty monstrosity. (I mentioned this in a previous post). Mom freaked about not having a wedding cake. So, I came across this cake in a magazine called a "croque en bouche" (ie, tower of cream puffs!) Yummy! It looked so cool and unique. This is actually a traditional French wedding cake. My mother was horrified! Too bad. It's a wedding cake and you didn't specify what it should look like! Ha ha! I'm a big, big bitch! Now I have this impending feeling of doom that she will order a wedding cake that she thinks we should have (big, white, crusty thing with fake flowers and birds hanging off it) and just put it out at the wedding. She would do something like that so I am a little on the apprehensive side. Not cool. Stay tuned for another rant regarding the mother of the bride and her totally inappropriate choice of dress for the big day! (Hint: she described it as a "me-dress", ie, low cut, glittery, "look at me, look at me" type of dress). Grrrrrrr!
bride with ninja skills
Monday, October 04, 2004
Y
Oh me oh my. I am not wearing white. I can't, I am to pale. Many people have said to me (mostly older) why not white? you are wearing white aren't you? NO it looks like HECK on me. I tried on a $1300 dress and decided against it even though I loved it. It's ONE day I wasn't spending a month's mortgage payment on it. DON"T worry. I promise you will shine. Maybe get some really nice flashy jewelry or ask for some beading. GOOD LUCK.
evee
Monday, October 04, 2004
I've really reached bridzilla status now. My wedding is four weeks away and I'm looking on ebay for another dress. I just don't think mine looks bridal enough. My fiance knows what I am doing and he says do whatever you want, which really isn't that helpful. And he hasn't seen the dress I have to wear. I went with the simple dress because I thought it would be comfortable and more my style. Plus it was about half of what I would have had to pay for a more bridal dress. Now I feel like the only way people will know I'm the bride is because I have a veil on my head. I want something more bridal. I have actually wanted a new dress for a while, but I could not return mine to the store (all sales final). My parents came to visit a few months ago, and I said I wanted a new dress. They said mine was fine and was beautiful. They also said I couldn't afford a new dress. My fiance and I (but mainly I am) are paying for the wedding. Now I want my dream dress that I was too cheap to spend the money on (it was $700 and I couldn't find one to try on in the stores or I might have bought it). I know it is insane and at this point there is nothing I can do. I think the person doing the alterations on my current dress would shoot me if she knew I was looking for a new dress. She has worked so hard on the dress and has come down on her prices on a few things so I could afford to get the dress altered. I just don't know what to do. I'm so unhappy. Oh and can I say a friend of mine didn't help by saying I don't know why you are wearing ivory when you are getting married for the first time.
oh me oh my I've lost it
Sunday, October 03, 2004
I shouldn't need validation but I do. My FH's (2 more weeks) family is taking up 40 of the 80 we have asked. I feel sad for my parents as they have only 5. My mother got really upset last weekend because of this and gave me a rough Sunday. I just looked over the numbers and really adding another $200 or so at this point (we have saved a lot of money by asking friends to do stuff in lieu of gifts).I haven't told my mother. I asked 4 of her friends to come partly because she gave me a hard time and partly because they are family to her. She thought it was too late to ask them but I called them anyway and asked them to come FOR HER and not to bring a gift. I explained that there was room and she would love it. was I wrong?
validation please?
Sunday, October 03, 2004
oh relax, I said OTHER sites, geez
...
Saturday, October 02, 2004
that IS what bridezilla is for, if you dont like it, join the wedding forums!! jeez!
hello!!
Saturday, October 02, 2004
hmmmmm, and she wonders why she is banned from other sites... definitly not feelin' the love hehe
still rememberin' what's important
Saturday, October 02, 2004
reality?? this is bridezilla, if you dont like it, get the fuck out!!
angry fucking bride to be
Friday, October 01, 2004
Woah -- angry fucking bride - simmer down! Just repeat: serenity now.
reality?
Friday, October 01, 2004
im not even talking about those details, im just talking about the click they have, it makes me so sick, its like junior h.s. all over again, i hope they all get red ink on thier dresses the day they get married, God please forgive me!
angry fucking bride to be
Friday, October 01, 2004
Wedding talk sites exist to make the average bride to be feel inadequate. No, I am not doing OOT bags, no, I am not creating menus for each guest, no my invitations are not wrapped in homemade f**ing ribbon.
I am done with getting "ideas" from these sites, my wedding will be beautiful but there will always be someone who says "you should have done X" I say to them too bad.
December Bride
Friday, October 01, 2004
i love my wedding plans, they are coming along great, but i belong to this wedding forum that's so full of stuck-up bitches that do nothing but kiss each others asses, and if you are not like, "oh, what a great idea" then your not part of this stupid ass group, i still log onto it, but because im seeing how far i can go by telling these girls off before they out me, they can all kiss my fucking ass, i hate them all with such a passion, fuck you!!!
angry fucking bride to be
Friday, October 01, 2004
i am so sick of this "friend" i have, she's known i have always wanted to be married and have a good life. well, i met someone, and he proposed a yr. after we satrted dating, since the wedding plans she's been so self-absorbed and everytime i start talking about MY plans, get this, she mysteriously has a another call and asks to call back, which she never does!! i ahve a different life than hers, she is ghetto, why did i become freiends with her is because i try not to be a snob. well this has happened with several girls than cannot stand to hear about, my 17,000 engagement ring, or the BMW my sweetie bought me, you know what girls?? stick to your own class!! because otherwise you'll look like a snob to the ones who dont have the same lifestyle.
fucking bitches are so hateful!!
friends suck hairy assholes!
Friday, October 01, 2004
not going to your wedding, you are too cool!!
all about me
Friday, October 01, 2004
to post traumatic bridal syndrome, II LOVE YOU!!! and to all the girls who are keeping it real!! finally i have found a place where all the girls dont act like they are so fucking perfect!!
alll about me
Friday, October 01, 2004
groomzilla, your so dumb!! lol
all about me
Friday, October 01, 2004
how big is yours, size does matter??
its alllll about me
Friday, October 01, 2004
i hate everyone who has a bigger wedding than mine, i hate all girls with bigger engagement rings!! i hate these fucking girls from liweddings.com, they make me so fucking sick!!
itsallboutme
Friday, October 01, 2004
I wanted to say NO when she asked me to be in her wedding. But I just couldn't bring myself. Most women seem to feel it's a great honor to be asked to be a bridesmaid or MOH. But that is not how I see it. I see it as a HUGE debt. I see myself paying for an ugly dress, stupid shoes, airfare, gifts, a wedding shower. I love to attend weddings but I LOATH being in them. Thank goodness, this is my last single girlfriend. I can't afford any more "honors".
Evil MOH
Friday, October 01, 2004
picturecrazy: our photographer has offered to use two cameras, a digital and a normal one so that we can have a website and normal photos. Alternatively, prints from digital photos look pretty good these days.
too much stress
Friday, October 01, 2004
Bitta bride: you poor thing. How dare this other bride have a shower that doesn't revolve around your commute time?!? Maybe everyone thinks it's about her, not you? Does she have other family or friends that don't live 3 hours away? Guess what? I doubt anyone is making you go. If it's going to ruin your whole weekend, don't go. If you're worried about looking tacky, send a gift and an apology about not being able to attend. Either way, get over yourself.
10/09 bride
Friday, October 01, 2004
In the past weeks, I've purchased alot of wedding 'stuff' on a internet auction site and I told my so to be husband that "I will not go there any more and that I will start saving money for the BIG day" and here I am, checking some more wedding 'stuff' out on this auction site. Sorry!
KMP <email>
unknown, BC Thursday, September 30, 2004
My fiance and I are having a major argument over photographers. He wants the pics to be taken in digital whereas I want pics taken with a 35mm camera. We're both stubborn and now this has escalated into a full blown argument, with him threatening me with "not going through with the wedding" Help, what do I do?
picturecrazy
Thursday, September 30, 2004
I posted in here before about my fiance being deployed for the US Army for nine months and will not be home for our original wedding day. So we rescheduled it for June 17th, 2005! We are getting married in Las Vegas at the cutest chapel, Mon Bel Ami! And my advice, do what YOU and YOUR FIANCE want!! Don't listen to the whining from family or friends saying....WAH that's too far away, WAH I have too many things going on with the kids, WAH just have a wedding at home! From the very beginning of our relationship we knew what WE wanted for our wedding and no one was going to change our minds! I am so happy we didn't let their influence change our minds!!! We will have an awesome wedding and those who love us and want to share in our day will be there with us, and for those who don't come....that's fine we know where we stand with you!!! We are doing it OUR way and know that our closest family members and friends will be there! And what is most important to us is that we are there with those who love us!!! So my advice.....Do What YOU want!!!
Very Lucky Bride
Thursday, September 30, 2004
I was happily married last May and even though I had posted something about not wanting children at the wedding low and behold, THERE WERE CHILDREN AT THE WEDDING. Yeah, yeah, Ive heard it all My kids are so well behaved, Junior has to see his uncle get married.blah, blah. Be a better person than me and if you do not want children at your Adult Affair, stick to your guns. Im bitter AT MYSELF for not holding my ground. The day is for you and your husband-to-be; not anyone else.
And on a side note, Ive been invited to a wedding shower this Saturday for my husbands cousins fiancée. The shower is only TWO HOURS. It will take THREE HOURS to get there and THREE HOURS to drive home.I know she came to my shower, which was almost the same distance, but come on! Im gonna drive THREE HOURS for a two hour shower that begins at 5:00pm? My whole weekend is shot! And no, I dont want to stay with family Saturday night and leave Sunday morning, I wanna go home and sleep in my own bed! The only redeeming thing about this whole situation is that my husband will drive me, wait the two hours and then drive me home. And yes, I will probably suck it up and well stay over night with his family and leave Sunday morning. Im sorry, I just dont see the point. Im tired, I work all week and commute an hour plus to and from work everyday and I cherish my weekendsI wish I werent so bitta but I am!!!
Bitta Bride Needs Some Suga
Somewhere Town, PA Thursday, September 30, 2004
My parents live in a smaller city near a larger city where I live. My mom works in a small, boring middle-aged women's clothing store. She sees a lot of people she knows and likes to tell them about the wedding. When they ask about "the ring" (like it's just the most important thing in the world) she cannot seem to describe or even remember the words "platinum" or "princess cut". Apparently she tries to describe it as "square with a silver coloured band". I have no idea what people think (not that it matters). She tells me that no one knows why I wouldn't want a gold band. (I like to think of this community as a small, hick type of place having minimal concept of of style - I have seen recent weddings there where girls still have the wedding dresses with the BUTT BOW!!!) My response to mom's comment about the gold ring was "well, if you'd stop calling it "plutonium" instead of "platinum" maybe people would pick up what you're layin' down!!! Have I mentioned that my mom is by no means rocket scientist material. I think she is honestly getting dumber. Aren't I so mean?!?!
bride with ninja skills
Thursday, September 30, 2004
I'm always checking out other women's engagement rings to make sure they are not bigger than mine. If they are, I am depressed all day.
Size does matter
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Hello everyone,
I last wrote about a month ago, before my wedding. I was freaked about my dress and how the seamstress did a horrible job on it. I also wrote about being freaked about horrendously over-bearing in-laws, idiots who rsvp'd by saying "we'll try," and so on and so on - it was one horrible thing after another. Well, the wedding was beautiful, it went off without a hitch. It was perfect. But the entire month before the wedding was probably the worst of my life. Truly the most horrendous, stressful time of my life. No matter how wonderful the wedding was, it was not worth what I went through to get there. I kind of had an idea that it would be difficult, but I was afraid that if I didn't have the big wedding, I'd always regret it and think that I'd missed out. No. Had I but known what I was in for, I would NEVER have gone through with it. We would have gone to Vegas (as my fiance wanted) and done something small, cute, and fun. And save a lot of money in the process. Girls, here I am, speaking as one who had a BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT wedding and reception. Don't do it. Go to Vegas.
tracy
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
ok, so i have rougly a month and a half til my wedding and i think one of my bridesmaid a.k.a bitchmaid could possible just ditch the whole wedding thing just to get a point across. slightly bitter let me tell ya. (a little background info.): i asked my old college roommate to be my moh (we'll call her peg) because i also went to high school with her and she was suppose to graduate two months prior to the wedding, so she'd be around to help out a lot and be there if/when i'd go bridal. while at school,i met a good friend, lets call her red, and as much as i wanted her to be the moh i went with the other girl just because i'd known her longer and she promised to be around in the last months, well... i was under the impression that you could only have ONE moh, if i knew you could have more then one i probably wouldn't be making this post, but i didn't. so i have one moh and one friend that is pissed now (even though she said 'what's a title any how and said she was cool with everything) that she isn't the moh and the other girl is. so i try to right a wrong and have them both as my moh because i found out you could have more than one, well it's 46 days til the wedding and red has yet to accept the title or for that matter even reply to any emails at all. she has dated her boyfriend for six years with no ring and i dated my fiance for a year... not exactly my problem here. and she has said she is very bitter that it is me and not her getting married. then she sends me this really mean article about this girl that totally got screwed and asked to do too many things for her friends wedding (which is my wedding)!... and the only thing i've asked of her is to come in for try-ons and the shower. and now when i email to ask if her dress fits or if she likes it, i haven't gotten one reply back, not a 'i hate it' or 'i'm not in the wedding' or anything! and i had to pay for half the dress so i could send it in the mail to her to get it altered on her end... and i have yet to see that check in the mail. i could just call her up and scream. i have no idea what to do. do i just pretend like she isn't a bitch and just call and be cheery and ask how the dress fit and if she would do me the honor as one of the moh or do i just let her get a hold of me... which has yet to happen and i'm going on a month of absolutely no response here. i don't get how a so called best friend would become sooo jealous because her boyfriend won't marry her and i found a guy i love who will. her boyfriend has even said he didn't want to marry her, yet she still cuts out rings and dresses from magazines and tapes them to his stuff. she is such a good friend (or was) that i'd love to call her and just tell her to send me the dress in the mail and when i get it, she'll get the half of the money she actually spent on the dress and just find another girl her size. i have bent over backwards for this bridesmaid to make her feel so much apart of this wedding and then she pulls the jealousy thing. i give. i'd love to vote her off the island! (problem is i actually have a heart and would really like the best friend i knew to be at my wedding next to me)
46 days til the end of the crazyz
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Looking at Laura's post reminded me of my own very small wedding 14 years ago. I wanted to just go down to the courthouse and have the judge hitch us - I've hated weddings ever since I was little and wanted nothing to do with the fuss and bother of a big ceremony attended by a hundred people I barely knew, followed by a horrid evening spent with those same people.
My husband wasn't much for a big wedding either, but he was afraid his family would disown him if we went to see the judge, so we compromised with a very small wedding at home. VERY small - his parents and siblings and their spouses and kids, my grandparents, and a handful of our closest friends.
It was such a relief, not to have to deal with Wedding Drama. I highly recommend throwing "tradition" to the trash and doing things to suit yourself.
Missy
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
laura, you are my personal hero.
louie v
Monday, September 27, 2004
I was just banned from the Ultimate Wedding message board. WTF? Just because I didn't start every post with "oh hun" or "hugs" and presented a different point of view, I get banned. They actually did me a favor. I couldn't stand the sheep mentality of those boards anymore. Freaking message board nazis.
banned bride
Monday, September 27, 2004
We cancelled all our fancy wedding reservations and bought two round trip tickets to Vegas 2 months before we were going to be married--before we sent out the invitations. It was the best thing we ever did. For $49 we were wed in a little chapel and had so much fun. The money we saved paid 20% down on a new house. OUr family and friends were fine with it. We had a party in our new home when we returned. None of my friends had to wear nasty satin dresses, no one got on a fight, we didn't want any gifts and we are so happy. Why doesn't every little girl dream of this type of wedding?
Laura
Sunday, September 26, 2004
I was married one year ago this november and it was lovely.
Since being married my H and I have moved and I have found a new job where one of the girls are getting married this year.
Now I have been at this job for a year now and everyone generally gets along. The B2B invited everyone from work to her bridal shower and hens night and expected gifts and everyone to pay to attend her hens night, however has only invited a few people from work to the wedding and reception.
Okay keep in mind I am a recent bride myself and I know the cost so my main grudge is that this B2B has not even asked thoes uninvited people to the church (which does not cost her for indivudual people to attend).
The other gripe I have is that she is being so secret with thoes who are invited that it is common knowledge who has recieved an invite. Now this B2B didnt even invite the other girl who works directly with her all day every day.
I say how rude and she can go **** herself. If we are good enough to invite to her shower ect and get gifts from us then we are good enough to invite to the wedding even if she came out and said look I cant afford to pay for everyone so if you would like to come I would love to have u there and your wedding gift can be you pay your own way to the reception, or even at least invite us to the church service for hevens sake. I mean like we are going to have to hear about this wedding for like ever and it is really hard knowing some ppl were good enough to invite and others didnt even warrent an invite to the church yet were good enough to recieve gifts from and pay their way to her hens nigth.
I don't know am I being totally b***** or do I have a point. What would you girls do about this??. Myself I invited everyone I worked directly with and others could pay their own way if they wished as our gift or they all could simply attend the church they were all welcome.
pissed off
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Bridezzilla.
What is your problem? I had no idea you felt that way about me. Why did you choose to bring out all your feelings over the past three years all of sudden? As much as I want to be there, I can't. If you hate me that much, how could you ever want me in the pics? I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU. Gees.
WTF?
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
I've already had it up to HERE with my FMIL.... already not listening to me when I tell her children outside of immediate family are NOT invited. Especially since MY parents are paying for the event and no kids will be included on my side. I keep hearing the "well they won't come other wise.." oh, I'm sorry, I must have missed the passage in emily post that says that I must pay for all your friends and their children that you haven't seen in years....
frazzledbride
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
I mostly held my ground about no kids at our wedding. We had one wife of my hubby's groomsman that insisted they couldn't find a sitter (i.e. -She wouldn't let anyone but her parents sit the kids). She said she could not come to the wedding if they couldn't bring the kids.
I made this one exception because a) these really were the most well behaved kids you've ever seen and b) everyone spent the whole evening asking her "Didn't you hear about the no kids thing?"
She put me in an awkward spot, and in turn she got grilled by 85 strangers about her thoughtlessness. Priceless!
It's Finally Done Bride
Monday, September 20, 2004
To all of the Brides and Brides-to-be, PLEASE do not bow to those who wish to bring their kids to your wedding. I was a groomsmaid in my best friend's wedding in Oct. 2003 and I left my kids with a sitter in our hotel room and they had a ball and I and my hubby got to enjoy the wedding. As a parent and as a member of a bridal party I am imploring you to be brave and to be strong and to INSIST that children be sequestered elsewhere during your nuptials. You will be less stressed as will mom and dad. And if Ozzie and Harriet refuse to leave the Beave with a sitter, UN-INVITE 'EM! THIS IS YOUR DAY, NOT THEIRS!!
Groomsmaid from Oaktown
Sunday, September 19, 2004
I just printed 100 programs and thought they came out really nice. My FH wanted to see them. He thought they were great except that I put the wrong date on the cover. Now I can't stop crying. I only wanted programs in the first place so that my nieces (who really wanted to be flower girls) could have a job to do. I know this is a stupid thing to cry over but I can't seem to stop. Being a bride is like having long-term PMS; things that would usually be a small irritation become big,upsetting, f*&$ing messes.
10/9 ditzy bride
Saturday, September 18, 2004
I must confess that since the June wedding, I still hold a grudge against many friends and family.
We invited 275 adults. 150 said they were coming after we had to call 75% of the guestlist because they were RSVP deadbeats. Only 100 showed up! From the 50 no-shows, we never received a single gift, card, excuse, lie, or apology. Haven't heard from them since.
I had no idea our family and friends were so cheap either (I always thought I was!). From those that didn't come, we received 2 gifts. Of those that showed, we received "gifts" (including empty cards) from about 1/2 the guests. That was hurtful not to get even a nice card from a lot of family and friends.
Our registry consisted of only about 65 items. Only about 10 were purchased. I was totally shocked to find out that our avg. gift value was about $10-20. From a family of 4 that attended, we got an ugly $3 wall hanging from walmart. From a family of 6 that attended, a $7 towel! We paid for the wedding ourselves and went all out that was within our means--Save-the-Date cards, out of town bags in the hotels, nice favors, great entertainment, full dinner with open bar including champagne all night. Now, I wish we had the money we spent on the wedding instead. We found out lots of family and friends don't care about us like we cared about them.
Yes, I know I shouldn't carry the grudge but whouldn't you be hurt too? 8 of my closest friends spent $10 each on us when I spend >$100 on their weddings. We didn't get anything from most family members. It hurts a lot that some people don't even care enough about us to buy a 0.99 card and sign it. We felt used. I know some will wonder so I'll say that all of our friends are pretty much in the same financial bracket as us and most of our aunts and uncles are quite wealthy.
That's all. Just hurt and bitter.
Bitter
Friday, September 17, 2004
well its offical, ding dong the witch is ded, my FMIL is not coming but of course at the expense that my FH's brothers are not going to be in the wedding either. I am sad for my FH but happy that these assholes will not show up and try to ruin our day. The are all cowards that do whatever the mommoe tells them to do. I can't wait until they wake up and totally regret this. I know this crazy witch is going to call everyone up and tell them not to come to the wedding. Oh well, there is not that many that would actually listen to hear that I want there anyways. IT's going to be the best wedding ever!!! His brothers are all puppets and she is the puppetmaster!!!
On the verge Bride
Thursday, September 16, 2004
p.s. Exactly one month until the wedding...then I won't have to think about all this ever again!!!! Yay! I'm just so ready to live with my guy, and be domestic. That's all. Just him and me...and our puppy we get 2 weeks after the wedding!
still going crazy!
Thursday, September 16, 2004
p.s. Exactly one month until the wedding...then I won't have to think about all this ever again!!!! Yay! I'm just so ready to live with my guy, and be domestic. That's all. Just him and me...and our puppy we get 2 weeks after the wedding!
still going crazy!
Thursday, September 16, 2004
What is with people not sending back their response cards? Yesterday was the due date...and we are still waiting for about 30 cards. Is the RSVP date not big enough to read? I just knew this would happen...we even sent the invitations out a little early so all of our out of town guests would have time to find ways to get here. Because it is out of my control, the past month has stressed me out. This is the only part that I really haven't enjoyed...I'm giving these people until the weekend, then I am sending out the dogs on them! I have a friend that will call each and every one of them to know that they are late in returning the self addressed already stamped response!
I never thought I would say this, but I would have rather had a small picnic as a reception...this is so annoying! My parents would not have gone for that...but at least I would not have been waiting for these deadbeats to send a stupid little card back. How annoying! At least I feel better now that I've vented. Thanks for reading.
still going crazy!
Thursday, September 16, 2004
I think weddings are such BS. I cant believe that the most expensive dress Ill ever own is the only one that Im guaranteed never to wear again. Why are we buying dinner for 80 people and spending on average 5 mins with each of them? When we could take them out to dinner one by one and spend the whole evening with them? Why do I have to invite my uncle and aunt that I have met once when I was 8 years old? And finally, why oh why does my Mother keep referring to it as the most special day of my life? It isnt, there will be many special and meaningful events in our lives together. Plus, I hate entertaining because I get so stressed out and I know Im not going to be able to relax and enjoy the wedding anyway.
Reluctant Bride
Thursday, September 16, 2004
One of my best friends has got engaged and I am convinced that she is going to organise her wedding at the same place that I want. We haven't chosen our venue for sure, so everyone will think that it was her idea first and I am copying her!
If her diamond is bigger than mine I don't think I will be able to stand it!
Competitive Bride
Thursday, September 16, 2004
I got my save-the-date cards in the mail! I'm so excited. But, on that note, this total hick chick where I work was getting on my case "I haven't seen my invitation in the mail yet; it must've gotten lost, har har." What, like she thinks I'm going to invite her? First of all, I'm not inviting anyone from work. Second of all, even if I were, I don't even work in the same company as her, she just works in the building near me. Third of all, even if I were inviting everyone else in the building, I would not invite her because she is a total wreck of a person who I would not want at my wedding. Fourthly, even if I were deliberately excluding her, my wedding is not for EIGHT MONTHS and I wouldn't have sent out invitations yet, and isn't it just a TAD RUDE that she went and tried to invite herself to my wedding?? She is an evil person, one whom I shall call ZillaMaker!
yay! but still a zilla
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
I thought I was going to have a great wedding b/c fmil was not coming. But don't fear she called back the same day that she told my FH that she was not coming along with his brothers but decide that we could not have this wedding without her, oh yeah right we have planned everything else without your help. My FH's brother who is the best man still have not called him back the wedding is only 26 days away, what the hell is he going to do just show up at the wedding like nothing have happened?
Then to make matters worse, I went to try my dress on and it does not fit. MY boobs are too big? They said they could ordered another for $150. Hey I guess they think I haven't paid enough for the dress?
On the verge Bride
Monday, September 13, 2004
I wasn't the bridezilla, but I regret having the bridesmaids I did, because they made my wedding awful.
Not only did I let the two of them pick their dresses, and let their boyfriends sit at the head table, I also paid for most of one of their dresses.
I had a morning wedding, because we had family coming in from out of town that needed to be home by Sunday, so they had to be there by 8 for pictures, etc. Now none of us were morning people, but I figured it wasn't too unreasonable. They, on the other hand complained about it when they found out about it and for six months after the wedding.
My MoH about three months before the wedding told me she thought watching me get married was like watching a train wreck happen (because she didn't like my fiance, and didn't like the idea of marriage in general, her being a 'feminist' and all).
I offered to let her out of the wedding, because I wanted attendants who were supportive, and told her it was up to her. I should have booted her. Two weeks later, she had a third friend call me and ask me if I was still going to let her be in the wedding, to which my answer was 'if she wants to.'
By the time the wedding came along, my MoH was so irked by the wedding in general that she refused to smile in any of the pictures, and could barely be civil to my family and my husband's family. We had a dry wedding, because my husband's grandparents are super-Baptist and we wanted to respect their wishes, and she brought a hip flask to the head table.
The MoH never planned a shower for me (which was fine, I think showers are rather greedy), and then, because I had the temerity to mention to another friend that I'd like a more toned-down bachelorette party than the typical stripper/bar scene, she e-mailed me to tell me that she was too busy to plan it anyway and so I could plan it myself. She was on summer vacation from school and had a part-time job and I had a 40-hour internship.
Regardless, the worst part was still her refusal to smile in any of my wedding pictures. And the other bridesmaid's insistence that the dresses (that they picked out) were super-horrendous.
Clearly, they were.
In the end, my MoH went to Europe when I went on my honeymoon and came back telling me that she no longer wished to be friends. About eight months later my other bridesmaid got in a huff about my defense of another friend and is no longer speaking to me.
So pretty much, what I've learned from my experience is:
If you want a decent wedding, don't have attendants. Or if you *must* have attendants make sure you don't care a flying fig about them.
Irked by bridesmaidzillas
Friday, September 10, 2004
These damn guests are not buying the stuff on my registry that I really want, i.e., the towels, the gorgeous pots and pans, and the china. They're buying the filler crap--serving spoons and what not. The other stuff is not outrageously priced.
Haley
Friday, September 10, 2004
"Who knew that becoming a bride could make me such a tacky woman?"
Talk about tacky- the bride (who's an 8- I'm a 4) called last week to make sure I will be getting "sucky iny" panties to wear under my MOH dress! I guess I can't blame her... the past year she's been acting like she has been wearing a pair around her freaking head. Monster B*&*)T&
the smaller one
Friday, September 10, 2004
Help, my FH is the Groomzilla here! I want to run away to the beach with close friends and family, he is the one who wants a big, white wedding. I would delegate all the details to him but he would spend our life savings on one party. How do I change his mind?
Runaway Bride
London, UK Friday, September 10, 2004
Thank God I'm not the only one who can't stop looking at the online registry. I feel so guilty about this that only my FH knows and I've made him vow not to tell anyone. I didn't even want to register and now I can't stop checking and wondering who still has to go shopping. Who knew that becoming a bride could make me such a tacky woman? Thank you,Bride with Ninja Skills for making me feel less alone. Gotta go check the list again.
bridezilla-to-be
Friday, September 10, 2004
We're not officially engaged. (ie, no ring until later for $$$ reasons) We haven't told anyone we're getting married, but we have most of it planned. A date, the ceremony and reception location, my dress, a photographer. And it's been so easy. :) When we announce it, we're going to be like, this is when and where it is. It's all set. It's been the best way to plan a wedding. I highly recommend it. :)
super secret bride
Thursday, September 09, 2004
I peek at the on-line registry a lot. I think I need to add more stuff.
I hate tulle, tiarras and accountant-by-day-bridal-boutique-saleswoman-by-weekend types of people. They should stick to spread sheets and leave poofy white dress stuff to professionals.
I am harrassing my fiance about homemade invites or professionally printed, ecru or cream, square or rectangle, to the point I think he might take the ring back (once he pries it from my cold, dead hand).
I considered "retiring" and letting the Sales Guys at work plan the wedding. Fiance said no.
bride with ninja skills
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
You know what? Now I now why I am still calm about my wedding. Because the planning stages have not yet begun. We need to register our marriage first in a European country (lots of redtape) and the documentation part (which is probably the hardest) is over and done with. Now we are just playing the waiting game with the Registry. Once that is done, then we can start with our church ceremony and maybe then I will start tearing my hair out!!!!
gilamonster71
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Well, its offical my FH mother's just called to say that she can't take it or I mean us anymore and that his three brothers don't to be apart of our wedding in excalty 32 days. Now we have not talk to this lady in a month except for a minute on Sun but only b/c she again realized that she has a granddaughter and sudden wanted to see her again. Everything was fine, I even had to see her ugly face and I was totally civil to that stupid bitch. But she must have brainwashed all of the boys into not being apart of our wedding. She also said that she was not coming, it was like God has answered my prayers, I am so happy. When she told my FH that she was not coming, he goes, "all right". She was like you don;t care if I don;t come, and he goes " If you don't come then you don't come. She was waiting for him to be like please mom, come come to my wedding. I know that it is easy for me to be happy b/c I have been trying for the past couple of months to piss her off to a point to not come and she did it all by herself. I think she took the blus pills today, who knows. She has a selective memory, tomorrow she will be like I never said that! When my FH called his one brother to make sure that he was not going to be in it, he said that they never said that?!!! Too bad, my FH already has his two best friends that should have been in it from the beginning but couldn't be b/c you feel olbigate to have your family in it. Which I think is bullshit. His family has not been there for anything, like their brother, their niece, anybody but themselves. All they do is what ever their crazy mother tells them to do!!!
Thanks for making me wedding even more perfect!!!
Happy thanks
Had it
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
I feel so wicked and fake....cannot stop crying and thinking really mean thoughts about my friends and family. For example "why are you not asking is there anything I can do to help" why are ye not being extra nice to me instead of wondering stupidly why I am so stressed out....I am v disappointed in some people and have quietly decided to rid myself of them from my inner life from the day after the wedding
two weeks away bride to be
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Ok here is the deal, my Mr and I are planing on having a small wedding in a resort and are only inviting our nearest and dearest, how ever as you all know guest lists like to balloon... I have Famly back east I only see these people mabey every 4-7 years they are all peeed off they are not invited. you know that if I invite them i have to invite my Mr's relitives from back east and now the guest list is plus 20.( hope to have total list of 50pp max) thats BS I say. so to keep the peace I was thinking as it is a pain and costly to come out for this wedding I could sent invites realy late like a month before and then mabey the wont come because they didnt have the time to save or the time booked off work. that way I look like a I was good to invite them but they cant come. so smart?
cheep bride
Friday, September 03, 2004
I'm actually feeling ok about the planning thing. Now that we have a site and an officiant, as long as we pick someone to do food I really don't care much about the rest. And can I just say that all of the parents have been GREAT?? Both mothers actually said that we (my fi and I) should take *their* friends off the invitation list first before we took any of our friends off! I feel so lucky. I hope it lasts!
actually pretty happy
Friday, September 03, 2004
I am a bad, bad wife to be. I lied to my fiance. I told him I found a wonderful dress (yay, he was happy), then I told him the price tag was $1500 not including alterations (hmm, not yay, more of a grimace). I guess when you can rent a tux for less than a hundred bucks, $1500 does seem like a lot of loot. Then...this is really funny...I told him I found a beautiful, simple yet gorgeous veil. This was surprising him because I am so anti-veil. He asked how much it cost...here's the whopper...I said "it's included with the cost of the dress". Uh, it's actually like $350. That will be paid for in cash and on a seperate bill and no one will be the wiser....I hope.
bride with ninja skills
Thursday, September 02, 2004
To REGRETFUL...I am so sorry you feel that way. If you truly feel you regret marrying him, there are ways to change things. It may seem impossible now but you sound like you are truly, truly unhappy with someone who does not care for what you feel. Forget "traditions" for a minute...your feelings don't obey traditions. If you end up alienating them, who cares? You said they didn't really care for you anyway, so why do you feel you need to prove something to them by staying? It gets harder the longer you stay, and there are people who can help you and your child. Even if that just means talking to someone like a therapist, alone or with your husband, you can try to move on from your regretful wedding and try to make the most out of a marriage with a rocky start. Best of luck to you...
Not Even Engaged Yet
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Remember the shower that I told my sisters what to do? I told all my friends at work that they were invited. I thought I was doing the right thing so that they wouldn't have a party at work and then be invited to my family shower and feel like they had to buy 2 gifts. But they did have a surprise shower at work and told my sisters. My sisters took them off of the invitation list for their shower (thinking like me that it would be rude to invite them to 2 parties). But because I already told them to save the date months ago, they called my sisters looking for their invitations. I thought I was doing the right thing but now I feel like an ass. Take warning:this is what happens to brides who feel like they have to be in charge of everything!
bridezilla-to-be
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Groomzilla-if your future bride has specifically told you that your setting foot in a strip club for a few hours before your wedding has 'ruined her wedding', run far and run fast b/c SHE'S the one with the issues. and it'll only get worse once it's legal.
louie v
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
I hated my wedding. Everything about it was wrong. I had it out of state because the grooms family were out of state and they wanted everyone THEY KNEW to come. I cant say anything about that because in our middle eastern traditions, the groom and his posse get to invite as many people as they want because they're the ones paying for the whole thing. They spent over 25,000 on a huge reception for 400 of their closest friends and family (of which I only knew about 30 ppl) and once it came to dishing out money for my dress, he gave me $600! In our tradition, this is the most important thing he has to pay for, I should of ended things right then and there but I was stupid young and felt I needed to please my family. His sisters were all dressed to the nines. The dress I dreamt about in my mine since forever was a desig by St Pucci abou $6000. He told me to take fabric to a seamstress his sister knows who will make me one just liek it, it turned out horrible!!! Just terrible! On top of that frm all the stress, I wasnt eating and lost a lot of weight and it was like 2 sizes too big by the time I wore it. It was too late to get another one, and by that time his money had run out and his parents were not plannning on helping since his mom never liekd me anyway. I wore it, I dont know how I did it, I just cringed and wanted everything to be over so bad. 3 years and 2 months later, we have a 2 year old boy, I still give him a hard time about it and tell him I want to take picures. Since I dont like any from the wedding. He caved in for me at that one, but I dont think thats my only problem, my problem is that I regret not leaving when I had the chance, I regret not fighting more for my rights (all my friends and his relatives had more say in their weddings) I just didnt know any better, they say oh well this is how its always been done and I believe them. I regret everything.
Regretful
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
When I was getting my hair done, I swiped the brand new copy of a wedding magazine they had left out for the customers. It was the fall issue and I ran off with in before the end of August.
Magpie Bride
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Hi Groomzilla,
My god, poor you!!! i don't mean to sound mean, but did you have a good time??? Seriously though, your bride probably had a good reason as to why she did not want you going there. Its not that she doesn't trust you, its the people around you that she doesn't trust. Many guys on their stag night end up doing silly things that they live to regret but from what you have written, it sounds that nothing happened. I feel that you really should try and reassure her. She is going through an emotional time now and probably needs your love and support more than anything in the world. An apology to start off is always good though!!! I on the other hand, hope that my FH has a great stag night, hopefully his friends will bring him to a strip club or something. Not because of anything but i want him to have fun before, during and after the wedding cos thats the kind of fun i would like to get up to as well. Good luck and i hope all works out for the best!!!!
gilamonster71
Monday, August 30, 2004
Jesus, I feel horrible about it, but lately my fiance has been more than just a bit annoying. Seriously, I can have a great day at work, come home, be totally relaxed, and then when he gets there an hour later, he'll drive me crazy! It's not with anything specific either; he just always manages to be annoying. It's stupid too because I know it's just because I'm nervous about the wedding.
evil
Monday, August 30, 2004
I went to a strip club at my bachelor party even though I knew my bride didn't want me to. Now she is incredibly upset and I don't know what to do.
AAaaaah!!! Why did I just not go???
I love her so much and now I've ruined the wedding for her!!!
GroomZilla
Monday, August 30, 2004
To Not Even Engaged Yet, I know what you mean about the MOTBzilla syndrome. A friend of mine (only child) had the same problem. She wanted to get married on a beach in Hawai, her mom wanted the whole big church deal, so she told her mom "OK. I'll do this your way on one condition. You plan it. A to Z, just tell me when and where to show up and I don't even want to be asked my preference on flowers or food. You do the whole thing, and we'll honeymoon in Hawai." She stuck to it too, every time her mom came to her to ask her opinion she said she didn't care, whatever her mom wanted. So the wedding was fine, no major disasters, then bride and groom went to Hawai... and had a second wedding on the beach to start their honeymoon.
Also not engaged yet...
Monday, August 30, 2004
I loved my wedding, I treasure my memories, I have about 20 framed professional pictures in my home's den from the event. But it was work-- work to have it all go off w/o a hitch (excuse the pun), work to not kill my FU and his ENTIRE freakshow family, work to not cry at the mere mention of the huge blessed event (honestly, I was less emotional pregnant!!). So please, take my advice: ELOPE. Go to Vegas. Go on a cruise and have the captain officiate it. Hell, just go to a JP in town. Have a fun party later for all the family/friends who INSIST on attending, but keep it light and fun, because in my 3 1/2 years of marriage, 4 moves, and 1 new son, the wedding was incidental for all the stress it caused. The marraige itself is what was important. Focus on THAT, and don't let the big, white party make you lose sight. Good luck in whatever you do!
3 1/2 year married mommy <email>
Rockville, Md Sunday, August 29, 2004
My mother is my bridezilla-by-proxy. She never had the wedding she wanted because her parents pretty much forced her to do whatever they wanted (its kind of sad) so she now thinks that my wedding is the stage with which to finally let herself shine.
This would be bad enough, but I'm not even ENGAGED yet. I've been with my boyfriend nearly 2 years, we're TALKING about MAYBE getting married, but neither of us is in any particular hurry. After reading this website about how wacked-out people get over weddings, and my gut feeling that my mother is going to go MOTBzilla on me, I really really just want to elope.
My father just remarried (remember the whole forced marriage thing? yeah, didn't work out so well) by taking his long-time girlfriend to a beautiful remote tropical island to elope. Her mom was starting to get the way my mom already is. My dad and her said "screw this" and eloped. If I had the courage I would do the same, but the boyfriend is strangely traditional and religious (even though we don't attend church reguarly, he wants a church wedding) and I know it would probably literally cause my mom to have a heart attack (something like that has happened before when things didn't go 100% her way...its not pretty).
I'm really stuck and it really has depressed me to a point that I don't even want to get married, ever; I just want to BE married to the love of my life and not have to deal with anyone's bullshiat.
Not Even Engaged Yet...
Los Angeles, CA Sunday, August 29, 2004
wouldn't you think the invitation would let people know who's invited to the wedding/reception? for example, an invitation addressed to "mr. and mrs. guest" means we'd like mr. and mrs. guest to come, while an invitation addressed to "mr. and mrs. guest and family" means they can bring their kids. what's so hard to understand? i don't think it's super-old-fashioned, uptight, or stupid to read and understand an invitation. that's what an invitation is for; it invites the people it's addressed to, and shows them the tone of the affair they're invited to (ex., super heavy-stock paper with engraving or calligraphy and a long request of presence point to a super fancy event, while thinner paper with butterflies or stars and less formal wording sorta show it's not a black tie dinner). ok, invitation reading isn't an exact, precise science, but you guys know what i mean. why do only brides-to-be and their moms know this? and it's not like invitation reading was taught to us in bridal school. argh!!!
julie
Saturday, August 28, 2004
Hello! I have been reading the confessions for a while and now I thought I would post something. First off, I am getting married at the end of October this year. Secondly, We should have eloped.
Now onto my problem. I used to work as a waitress for weddings, and that was the main reason I decided that the wedding/dinner/reception should be as child-free as possible. (I am not trying to start a flame war, so please dont be mad when reading that)I tried the word of mouth way, and ended up getting nowhere. My MOH knows that there is no way she would bring the 2yr old in her life with. Other people on the other hand are not so kind. And I know its not etiquette wise to write in the invitations "no children please". So on the reply cards we put instead of "number of persons", we have "Number of Adults". So I tell my friend about this thinking it would get the point across that I dont want her to bring her kid and she counter attacks and says that "her baby is the most well behaved baby ever.. blah blah blah." Yeah, its a very well behaved baby, but that doesnt mean that I want it there. She totally missed the point that its an adult function and my wishes are such.
Along with that, my FH is doing absolutly nothing! His time is precious (even though he doesnt work at the moment) and he rolls his eyes or snaps at me everytime I ask him to do something for the wedding. That is pushing my cold feet to the max, but of course I am not allowed to talk about that.
I dont know if I am making the right decision in getting married because I feel a bit forced into it by his mother. My mom is saying "If you need to back out, do it now because its your life..." but his mom is saying "Too late now, we already spent too much money on this." (They are paying for most of it)
Dont get me wront, I love my FH, but I wanted to go at my own pace.
I was up all night because of this and more things about the wedding reeling through my head.
I just want out! or to scream! or something!
losing beauty sleep
Friday, August 27, 2004
Damn straight Cranky Bride. If they can't leave the kids with a sitter, one of them should miss the wedding and one of them should miss the reception to stay home with the kid. (Can you tell what I told my friends to do?)
The ONLY exception I made for your wedding on the no kids rule was for two mothers who are nursing (one is my sister, she's coming from out of state and is a bride's
maid, so a sitter was not an option).
Cranky Bride Rules
Friday, August 27, 2004
My FBIL and FSIL have a 10month old little girl (our godchild) that they refuse to leave with a babysitter or other family member for even an hour. I'm convinced that they're going to bring her to our wedding reception, even though we've specifically told them that no children are invited. My father has been instructed to act as bouncer and if they show up with baby in tow, they will be sent home... I swear to god, I'm not messing around here.
Cranky Bride
Friday, August 27, 2004
The woman that my mother wants to order the invitations from got my name wrong in an email. That pissed me off. First, I HATE when people get my name wrong; second, shouldn't this be a rather detailed-oriented person? how hard is it to read letters on a screen?; third, I work with clients all the time, and I would never get their names wrong because I take extreme care not to do so.
Haley
Thursday, August 26, 2004
I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way...my family is fun, funny, and very cool, and I am just not interested in getting a new one. His are fine, they are perfectly nice, but his mom tries too hard, his father tells the worst jokes, and his brother is just plain painful to listen to. Why can't he have just sprung from a pod instead?
Haley
Thursday, August 26, 2004
I told my fiance we could afford everything, I had the money. Then I took out an equity line on my house! It was more like I had access to the money.
Jackzilla
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
My friend is in a wedding that takes place the day after mine. (Mine's on Saturday). The bride won't let her come to my wedding because she'll miss the rehearsal dinner. My friend offered to send her husband in her place (gotta practice walking, we don't do it enough). My friend is upset about this and told she feels much closer to me than the other bride. BTW, I'm not having bridesmaids, just my baby sister. I'm not even having a rehearsal dinner.
Anywho, I'm just being snarky. I want her to come to my wedding, but I know I will only get to spend about 5 minutes with each guest. I think it's funny my friend told me she feels closer to me, because she is one of THREE bridesmaids for the other woman--basically, the other bride couldn't round up many female friends.
Seriously, it's called wedding DAY. She shouldn't get to hog my friend all weekend.
CoolerThanHer
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
To Tracy...Go to Ripoffreport.com and add your complaint about your dress alterations to the list. You maybe able to get the dress fixed, get some money back, or at least warn other brides away from this person.
Raven
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
this is not a confession ,but a solution for Tracy. You can seww tiny hooks under the lap,the edge that is sticking out. then sew oe put tiny loops on the other side of the zipper to fasten down the lap fromstanding straight out. Another solution would have the person that did your alterstions put an invisible zipper in your dress. That won't show except for the zipper p[yll
retired bride
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Oops! My post was for Tracy!
Zilla from Manila
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
First let me say that I fully understand that this is not a message board. To Single Bride: I would suggest that you first take your dress to a good tailor, try your dress on for them and ask them what you should do -tell them that you're not interested in more alterations, you've already paid enough- a good tailor will be more than happy to give you advice. My confession? I have a soon-to-be inlaw and I'm not going to her wedding shower because I just can't stand her.
Zilla from Manila
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Not a confession but a thought. Recently a couple in Wisconsin was killed at their campsite, the story is on CNN.com if you are interested. What touched me about this story is that they were engaged and the picture in the news story shows them at their wedding shower looking so happy and in love. It got me thinking that all the little things don't really matter whether it is color scheme, invitations etc. what matters is that everyone on this site who is getting married will be with the person they love most in the world. That is what all this bridal/wedding/hoopla is about. Unfortunately the couple in Wisconsin will not get to share that ultimate happiness together because of a horrible tragedy.
December Bride
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
My fiance and I were engaged in April 2004. I was so excited to begin planning but I decided to just take my time since we had a little more than a year to do the planning. I should have known that when he put the ring on my finger that in his mind this was all he had to do for the next year except show up to the wedding and wait for me. I have to drag him to do anything for this wedding. For example, he has not asked his friends to be best man or ushers for months. After months of constant reminders to ask them (granted he talks to them every day - sometimes more than to me)I finally became so exaspirated I threatened to cancle the wedding until he decided he would like to get married. Finally after having me get so upset he called the guys and then acts like I owe him an apology. Another example of how much my fiance would like to get married...his sister recently was married and her finace helped with everything. He tells my finace that he did nothing and all you have to do is show up. So that is where I am now. I have to persuade him to believe that there is more to this than just showing up. He doesn't ever get enthusiastic about anything when it comes to this wedding and when I get upset he says "I knew we should have eloped. This whole wedding thing is so rediculous." I don't know what I should do now. I feel like a single bride and that since I am doing all the planning that I should just show up by my self since I am doing the whole thing by my self.
Single Bride
VA Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Hello again, everyone. Well...I'm no longer worried about my wedding guests who can't make a committment (you know, the five people who responded by saying "I'll try"). I have a much worse problem now. I just went and picked up my wedding dress on Saturday. It's awful. All that was left to do was to put in the side zipper. Oh my God. The fabric around the zipper - I guess you could call it the lip - totally sticks up all the way from bust to hip. I said to the seamstress, this will be fixed, right? She says, no, I'm sorry - it's the fabric. The only thing I can suggest is maybe putting double-sided tape on the zipper and tacking it down that way. $400 for alterations, and we're "fixing" it with TAPE!!!!! Can you believe? This woman has had this dress to alter since MAY, and has dragged the alteration process on this long - it is now less than two weeks before my wedding and there is nothing I can do. I'm terrified of taking it to anyone else for fear of making it worse. The tape kind-of helps, but I don't think it will last all day, through dancing and other movement. I'm afraid of using fabric glue, for fear it will seep through the fabric. My dress is very simple, with no beading or ornaments to hide imperfections. I am in despair. Has anyone had a problem like this? I'm thinking that maybe I can have one of my sisters sew it closed after I'm already in it...? I said it before and I'll say it again - girls, don't do this to yourselves - go to VEGAS!!!
Tracy
Monday, August 23, 2004
I got engaged 6 months ago. My FMIL said she would respect any of our wishes. Well that was a huge lie. Now we're in the process of planning and she thinks it's her day to shine. Not me and my FH. She has to invite all of her friends because they would be insulted if they weren't invited. I told her we want to keep the affair small and intimate and I don't think it's necessary to invite her hairdresser and therapist to the wedding. She has to run by all of my wedding ideas to her friends to make sure it's cool with them. And all she keeps saying is "It's your day, and I'll respect your wishes, however wrong it is because I think you should do it this way" Thank God my mom isn't like that! Too bad I have to be related to this drama queen in the end. WAHHHHHH
FMIL Hater
Saturday, August 21, 2004
I told my wedding coordinator that I hate crowds and was nervous about the monster mammoth reception with about 400 family and friends. I asked her to run interference and keep people away from me if I looked tired. I put just our best friends/officiants at our table and our families at separate tables. Our best friends/officiants left early. The family obediently stayed at their tables. The coordinator kept people away. Hubby was pulled away by his overly abundant relatives. I was left eating alone at the head table. How the hell did that happen?
hawkraven
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Two things. Tracy--How much you want to bet that "Wilma" has also been manipulated by her mother. First by the shower and now about a wedding that she feels weird and awkward about attended, hence the "I'll try". Secondly, my confession. I told my sisters that I want to be in on the planning of my bridal shower. I told them that we all know that they are going to throw me one so why bother to pretend? This way, I know that I'll have something that I'll enjoy and not spend the day smiling in a big, tasteless over-the-top event. I know that it's very improper, but quite frankly I don't think that they have the taste to throw the kind of party I want. Am I really, really tacky?
Zilla-to-be
Friday, August 20, 2004
I got engaged at the end of last October. My younger brother was already engaged and planning to be married in May. Out of consideration for him, we decided to hold off on planning, and to let them enjoy the spotlight. I am getting married April of next year and my other younger brother (his twin) just got engaged this week. Now, one would think that he and his bride would afford us the same courtesy - NOT SO! Her mother has already been on the phone with my Mom every day this week wanting to know tips, where I got my dress, what I'm doing and if we can come for a party for them in two weeks. Our engagement party isn't even until October. Can they at least settle down and wait until after that?? They're not even back from their trip where they got engaged yet!! Now they are coming straight to our house from the airport on Sunday to share the good news with everyone, so my birthday dinner was changed to be at the house since they are getting in late. My Mom is now telling me that I have to invite both sibling's in-laws and future in-laws to our engagement party, because they are important to the boys. Wait a minute, but I thought it was supposed to be about people that were important to my fiance and I, no??? Furthermore, she claims that they are family, which they certainly are not. I have no problem inviting them to the wedding - in fact I'd love to see them, but am I wrong for wanting only our close friends and family at the engagement party?? It's not about them! (For once). This is like the story of my life....always just the middle child....never the bride.
MiddleBride
Friday, August 20, 2004
I confess. I made a huge mistake early on in the planning of this fantastic event. I let my mother decide on the final dress. She chose poorly. so today i called and cancelled the dress which was a $3000 couture dress and will be instead buying a $700 dress off the rack at a store this weekend.
I love the other dress too much to not wear it, plus the couture one was awesome but it wasn't how I envisioned myself on my wedding day. Now comes the hard part. telling my mother what I did.
I'm 2000 miles away from her and this was her big purchse for me. oops.
I have confessed my sin, I'll say 10 hail Alfred Angelo's, and 10 Our fathers of bustles.
sin's forgiven!
G-Love
Houston, TX Friday, August 20, 2004
tracy, don't freak out! i know, easy for me to say, but seriosly, it sounds like you've been pushed to the verge of 'zillaness. keep in mind that no one's perfect, and if someone doesn't understand the clearly described black-tie-dinner-served-at-eight reception part of your invitation, be the gracious hostess you are and accommodate them as well as possible if they show. since the responses they gave you are out of fashion for the event they're invited to, most likely they aren't expecting something very extravagant anyway. remember, they're not doing this out of malice or a wish to ruin your wedding day, so don't turn it into something that takes up your energy worrying about. best of luck! i bet you're wedding and reception will be beautiful!!
well wisher
Friday, August 20, 2004
Oh yeah - and make the table uncomfortable and over crowded ("Well, I didn't know how many of you were actually coming - that's why I put all 15 of you here!")
Bwa ha ha ha!
More Evil Bride
Friday, August 20, 2004
Thsi isn't really a confession - just an evil thought.
What if you seat all the "I'll Try" people at one reception table with a box of blank place cards and pens? When they ask whey they don't have place cards, tell them that you "tried" to get to them but were too busy working on "confirmed" guests cards.
I don't have the guts to do this , but man - wouldn't it be fun!
Evil Bride
Friday, August 20, 2004
I hate people. The wedding process has brought me to this realization. People suck. Remember the daughter of my mom's friend I was talking about...the one I was manipulated into inviting (we'll call her Wilma)? Well, the cut-off day for RSVP was YESTERDAY, and, of course, I have yet to hear from her. So I call my mother and ask her to call Wilma, since it's HER friend's daughter, and ask her if she's coming. You know what Wilma says? "We're going to try." Yes. That's what she said. Can you believe this? I said to my mom, "Well, did you tell her I'm making a seating chart, and I have to give final numbers to the caterer? Did you tell her this is costing me $40 per person, and I need a final answer?" My mother says, "Sorry, that was the best I can do." Oh. My. God. Who does this, I ask you? And she's not the only one. Thus far, I have two "I'll trys," and one "I'll stop by for a while." Look, either come or don't come. Period. You stupid, clueless, classless clods! How totally inconsiderate and insensitive can you be? And that's only the tip of the iceberg. There is SO MUCH MORE that I can't even begin to write, because it would upset me too much. Girls out there, if you've just become engaged and are trying to decide what kind of wedding to have, I have one word for you: VEGAS. No matter how nice the wedding is, it cannot possibly be worth the nightmare you go through beforehand. I'll probably burst a blood vessel in my brain as I'm walking up the aisle.
Tracy
Friday, August 20, 2004
Oof, why is it that every step of the wedding planning is torture? It's like all vendors have pre-conceived notions that the bride is going to be a whiny brat and starts off treating us like that without even giving us a chance!
the 1 bride of 9999999999 not zilla-like
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Guess what i just found out!!! My bridezilla friend who made me her bridesmaid and the rest of my family her bridal party sent out thank you notes to only two members in my family, (me not included and i am the best friend, she claims) and they even got pictures, i am still waiting (not gonna wait anymore) but the funniest part of the thank you cards was the way bridezilla wrote it."Thank you for making MY wedding blah blah blah...love 'Me' nothing about it being 'our' wedding or love 'Me & new hubby'. Thats another lesson for me and my future wedding.
gilamonster71
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
i'm not a bride-to-be, and i understand the careful thought behind planning a wedding to occur over a long, holiday weekend, but i have to say it's harder to attend these events than your normal run-of-the-mill wedding. so, sister-in-law-to-be, please back off me not being able to miss any extra days from work (a holiday doesn't ensure every working person the day off) to pay more money to travel (since it's a holiday) and have it take twice as long to get there ('cause it's a holiday). and it's not a small vacation, or mini-getaway, as you say it is. i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one who's thinking this, too. i love you, i love my brother, i love my family, i'm happy for both of you. but i can only feel so bad until i'm pushed beyond guilt and remorse to anger and frustration. argh! why do magazines recommend these long weekend weddings?!
almost pushed into frustration and anger
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
tracy, i can agree that it may have been a manipulation, but it was kinda in your favor, in a way. you did get a nice gift for the shower, and with her mother as host, perhaps she was feeling nosalgic and wanted to be a part of your wedding in some way so she came to the shower. it was very nice of you to invite her after all, but i don't think it was absolutely necessary. i do see how you would feel obligated to, though. on a brighter note, it's another present for you at the wedding! i know that's not what it's all about, nor is it the point, but i thoguht it'd make you feel better.
louie v
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Twisted Sister,
You sound very selfish, even if you started out by being very sweet and understanding about your little sister. I understand that you want your (what should be you and your FH not just your) big day to be wonderful...but try thinking about some one besides yourself for a minute. It is very hard to get your figure right back into shape after having a baby for most normal women (read not hollywood stars) it takes up to a year. New babies are very hard to get used to. I am sure your sister feels bad about not being able to have lost enough weight to fit into the dress. Instead try focusing on how nice it will be to have your sister there with you supporting you in your day while you are supporting her in her new role as a mother.
once a bride now a mommy
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
I'd love to get everyone's take on this. My mother has a very good friend who I've known most of my life. She very kindly threw me a bridal shower a couple weeks ago (my mother did the same for her daughter a few years ago). Her daughter is a few years older than me. Growing up, we went to different schools and due to the age difference, we really did not have much in common. I've always considered her to be a friendly acquaintance. I like her fine, but we're really not friends - I see her maybe once every couple years. I was not invited to her or her brother's weddings several years ago, and I was not insulted by this at all - it seemed logical to me. Well, imagine my surprise to find her mother invited her to my shower. And no...I had NOT invited her to my wedding. Talk about AWKWARD. She even gave me a very nice gift. Well. Needless to say, I felt awful, and the next day sent her an invitation. However, I'm pretty pissed off here. I feel that I was totally manipulated. Don't you think it was very insensitive of her mother to invite her when it was obvious she wasn't invited to the wedding (wedding invitations went out 3 weeks before the shower). I also think it was very weird that the daughter would even want to come to the shower, when it was obvious she wasn't invited to the wedding. WEIRD AND AWKWARD! What do you all think?
Tracy
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
I don't feel as if I'm bridezilla but I know I am going to hurt someone by the time the event is over. My fiancee is noncholant and pays no attention to details. I am trying to plan a nice day for BOTH of us but he neglects to get details such as when planes are coming in and are some guests REALLY coming. Also the groomsmen have been very uncooperative waiting until the last minute to pay fees or better yet, they have dropped out. The Best man was actually the WORST man, he decided that 3 weeks before the wedding he couldn't get the days off! Yeah, right. With the loss of him came a ring bearer. I didn't have this problem with the bridesmaids with the exception of my future SIL. I collected money in April (sept. 4 date) she didn't have hers. Too bad. Not in the wedding. Gave her ample time. Four months, and six died dresses later she has the money. Too late. Not to mention she didn't send her flower girl dress money for her daughter thus messing up the design scheme when I had to get another dress. But I solved that problem-she's now the ringbearer. My biggest gripe is the fact that we made the wedding date over Labor Day so that famil and friends could travel, but they act as if it's such a hardship to come, this date is a week after my birthday! I would have done it differently. Also, my BM act as if they are doing me a favor they don't want to do. I have been BM for most of them but you can't tell. Boy, I would have a great wedding if I didn't have to deal with other people!!!
Can't wait
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Hi everyone. I've been reading the confessions for many months and haven't contributed until now...I didn't think I had a reason to...the plans have been going great except for my mom. She is making me crazy!!!! I don't think she is out to get me...but she really is making these last 2 months (and counting) hell! She hasn't been the "I'm excited because my little girl is getting married" kind of person. Every little decision she has a comment for...and when she comments it isn't in a happy way. It's the "I don't like this, and because you like it, it's wrong" kind of way. What is that all about? Just tonight I showed her a rough draft of the program, and between the small size of the font (it was 10...that's not small!) and the order of the groomsmen (my brother is 1st to go down the aisle) nothing was right. Any suggestions to head off my mom? Or is it just going to be a long two months? What makes this even worse is that I am still living at home (I approached them before on what they thought of me moving out early, and both didn't like the idea so I am still here...but I wish I could just move out now!) and she is just getting her claws in wherever she can. My poor fiancee must be losing his mind. All he does is hear me gripe about her. She is draining me with all her negativity...I'm trying to stay positive but it is very difficult!!!
Another mom story...she went to work at a summer camp for the past 2 months, knowing that she had a dress to buy but decided not to get one until after camp. She talked about red and black as possible colors. My FMIL had to get a dress (because the wedding is in October!) and my FSIL is about to pop out a baby anytime now and can't be left to scrounge the racks while worrying about the newborn. So she went out and bought a navy dress...very boring, but doable. As soon as my mom heard about it she was furious. "What if I wanted a navy blue dress? I'm the mother of the bride and I can do whatever I want". That's actually what she said to me. Am I the crazy one? Did she not have all this time to go before but chose not to?
going crazy!
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
I became engaged picked my bridesmaids. Everything was happy and fine. Then my FHs sister (who I dont even know very well) threw a fit (along with the Father of my FH)I didnt pick her as a bridesmaid and my FH's mother told me the whole family might not attend the wedding if I didnt include her. So she was invited as a bridesmaid. Date issues came up for the wedding due to her schedule. Then a couple months later she decided she didnt want to be my bridesmaid and wasnt sure if she would even come to her brothers wedding.
Bridezillas Rock! You have to stand up for what you want - dont bend - once you become engaged those who are already prone to act poorly are going to try to ruin your day.
Stick to YOUR idea of YOUR wedding.
You Gotta Be Kidding Me
Chicago, IL Tuesday, August 17, 2004
I didn't send out thank you cards after the wedding!
Crazy Chick
Monday, August 16, 2004
I got so fed up with the planning and talking to people in general that I asked my FH to deal with planning the rehearsal dinner & extracting the money from our moms to pay for it. I've got "minor" control issues, so for me to be that willing to give him an entire aspect of the planning...that shows just how sick I am of doing this anymore :o)
Soon2BMrs.Martin
Monday, August 16, 2004
Still very cool about my wedding. Still not bothering to get hot under the collar about anything to do for the wedding. Why? Because i am so damn organised and if people aren't happy about not being involved well, tough titties to them!!! i am more concerned about one VERY important thing after the wedding - MIL!!! My FMIL is definitely one to watch out for. Fortunately for me, i am pig headed and stubborn as a mule when i want to be! FMIL insists on trying to do whatever she can for FH and me which includes getting her taste in home decorating into our house!!! Over my DEAD body, heaven help me!!! so you see, wedding, piece of cake - its what comes after that will have me grey in no time at all!!! FH is still the bestest though!!!!
gilamonster71
Sunday, August 15, 2004
I must say I am the luckiest Bride in the world! I am marrying the most wonderful man in the world. He is sweet, loving, helpful and I know he loves me as much as I love him. You have to think of the positives when you get down. My original wedding date was 3/11/05. Well, 6/4/04 my fiance, who is in the Army National Guard, was called up for duty. He was going to get out of the ANG when his ETS date came up on 11/2/04. Anyway, he left 7/5/04 for at least 9 months. He is heading to Kosovo and will hopefully be home in the beginning of April. Unfortunately we had to move our wedding date, but I try to think of the positives. We have since changed our wedding date to 6/17/05! We are still getting marrid in the most elegant chapel in Las Vegas! All the wedding details have been pretty easy. When I get upset about something I think of all the positives in our lives. I mean he could have been sent to Iraq, which is not as settled as Kosovo. I just pray for his quick, safe return! I love him so much!!!
Very Lucky Bride!
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Well we finally sent the invites out but no before my crazy FMIL called up and freaked out over something stupid. I know she is going to mad at the invites, I did not out my FH parent's names on their but I did not put my parent's names on there. I was having second thoughts about thos wedding, not because of my FH but because of the family I will be marrying. His brother still won't call them back becuase the fight my FMIL and I got into? All his life she favored the two other boys and not she gives a sh*t about her son? It's going to be hard dealing with his family but I realize it is not the end its just the beginning!!!!
Over the edge
Thursday, August 12, 2004
I'm just going to Vegas....fuck it. My family and his are all nuts. I don't know what happened...but when we announced that we were getting married.....everyone turned into monsters!
MsEasyJet <email>
Cincinnati, Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Thanks gilamonster71. You are right - everything will be better in a bit. My FH offered something in the way of compromise that he's not overly wild about - but he really doesn't want me to be unhappy. He really is a great guy and I'm very lucky (but burned out on wedding cr*p). So I guess I've had my "Zilla moment and now I can move on. :)
Not So Sad Bride AFter All
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
I am going crazy. I spend the majority of my work day on the internet reading wedding websites. I hope my boss doesn't catch on (I always keep something "high priority" open to switch to when I see him coming)!!! I mean, this wedding and the disaster potential is all I can think about. I work with mostly men (I'm in an Engineering field) and I think they are gettig sick of the wedding crap too! It's seriously affecting my professional life. I'm suffering from severe "bridal brain". Blah.
bride with ninja skills
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
To Sad Bride, chin up sweets, things will work out for the best. If you are looking at everything you are giving up as a sacrifice, maybe you need to evaluate everything again. It shouldn't be looked on as a sacrifice or as giving up things you love, cos you are supposed to be marrying your lover, best friend, confidante, everything. It should be done because you love each other and can't wait to start your lives as husband and wife. I will be leaving a job i love so much, my family, my friends to go to a foreign country where they don't speak English but i am looking forward to it!!! Hey its a challenge to me to get my ball rolling on the other side of this earth. Anyway, you have come this far, have faith, things will fall into place.
gilamonster71
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Hah! I have just delegated all reception responsibility (except for choosing food and making favors) to my mother! I am so relieved! She shall make all the decorations and I WILL NOT CARE. I figure, as long as she doesn't tell me what she's going to do before the day, I won't even notice it when I'm there. I won't! This is the best decision ever!!
free, I'm FREE!
Monday, August 09, 2004
My FH totally pissed me off and let me down about something that really meant a lot to me regarding our reception. I'm not going to say wht it was (because it'll sound trivial if I don't give about 87 pages of background on it). This is something he said he'd do and now he's backing out. I was so disappointed in him and furious last night I couldn't even stand to be in the same house with him - went for a long walk at 9:00 at night (in not the safest neighborhood in the world). Spent the whole walk thinking about all the stuf I'll be permanently giving up when I marry this guy. Feeling very sad that I'll never get to do the thing I won't mention with this guy, won't be able to take him to street fairs or ren. fairs because he gets hostile in crowds, and I'll have to listen to him b##ch constantly anytime we get in a car about every other driver on the road (even his friends make fun of him for this).
He does have wonerful qualities: he's very responsible, dependable, a hard worker, funny and very loving. He's good to his family and friends, and has a hobby he's enthusiastic about (so he doesn't spend all his time on the couch). It just seems like I'm going to be giving up most of the stuff I really enjoy because I'd rather have someone to share it with than go do it alone anymore.
At the moment, I wish I'd never met him and had my old life back. Nice thoughts for right before our wedding, right?
Sad Bride
Monday, August 09, 2004
Wow. Sometimes people can be kind of jerks. My MOH is being one of them. My mom, who is temporarily normal, is planning an engagement/birthday party for FH and me (our birthdays are only a few days apart). MOH is my sister who lives with my mom. BTW, mom planning this party is a great distraction from wedding stuff and my mom always plans awesome parties! Here's the story. Mom & MOH don't always (okay, it is ALWAYS) see eye to eye. My mom wants here to call the wedding party (friends of mine & FH) as she is the MOH and needs to get to know these people (she knows most of them already). She is now all cranky because "it's her stupid party, it should be her responsibility". She's just not wanting to play nice with mom on this one. My secret plan was her and my mom could get closer by doing wedding stuff together. That's not going so well. She maintains the stance, "I'm only supposed to help with a shower and the bachelorette party". Whatever. Sometimes I wish I could fire the MOH and just do stuff myself. Sometimes sisters can be a pain in the bum. Did I mention that my sister is 5 yrs younger than me? I just can't seem to say "get your act together and grow up. We're supposed to be a team" without sounding like the evil bridezilla I am trying so hard to keep under control!!! Blaaaahhhh!
bride with ninja skills
Monday, August 09, 2004
UGH I cannot believe this I feel like the worst bride ever. Apparently on the "final" version of the wedding list I forgot to put on two of the groomsmen and their respective wives. So I had to send a quick correction e-mail to my bridesmaid that is calligraphing the invitations. I feel so stupid. AND of course these were both friends of my fiance's as he put it "well it looks like all of your friends and family made the list" Gosh I feel stupid
December Bride
Monday, August 09, 2004
My word, I am getting married to an exceptional man. We both have decided to keep it simple to the maximum. Reason : we only want people at our wedding who love/know us and vice versa. Got involved in a major Bridezilla wedding where i was the bridesmaid (she says i am her best friend so...) this woman insisted on piling on the makeup, dictating everything to everyone and getting me involved in the process. hah, even asked me to make sure that my wedding day will coincide with her Annual Leave. My verdict : she just receives the invitation for my wedding. No way is she getting involved in my wedding : too disorganised and forever late for anything!!!
gilamonster71
Monday, August 09, 2004
almostasadie, If your going to be on everyone's you know what list and he is wanting to elope, go ahead and do it.Just tell them right off that everyone was trying to take it over so you just simplified it. Have the party /reception but elope for the wedding.
halloween angel
Sunday, August 08, 2004
HELP HELP HELP.... my father's family is insane. He wants to invite them because my FH's family is large and LIKE each other and he doesn't want to let on that his doesn't. I don't want to invite them.. they are pushy, rude and insensitive (my aunt once stood on my doorstep and told me I was fat.. I was a bit overweight but her exact words were 'look how fat our little model got' At any rate.. they are mean. mean. mean. I don't doubt that one of them loves me but she is manipulative and a diva to say the least ( I am convinced she was Royalty in her last life) she is the type to show up in white to show me up. Not to mention the potential and probability of a fight breaking out. How do I convince my father that I cannot have these women at my wedding? He is afraid that they will slander him back home in Australia (they have already done that, ruined his visit last year, no one wanted anything to do with him and my mother because he was related to them). I have considered a cowprod or presenting them with shock collars at the door. My poor father. He just wants a family that like each other and he got them.. Suggestions... I have also considered sending the invitation 1 week before and leaving off the address.
thems fightin' words
Friday, August 06, 2004
I need a confession booth, not a judgment booth. No snarky responses, please. This may be the only place I can admit some of this stuff without being disowned by friends and family :) I have restricted my guest list to such a tight group of people because of my nervousness and my need to keep it simple (I wanted to elope but my fiance wanted a big thing, so we compromised- now he wishes we'd eloped!) I am apparantly insulting some distant relatives and acquantainces who are very ticked off to be getting an announcement only and have now put me on their sh*t list, but I simply can't work up the energy to care anymore. If they can't understand that I don't want my fiance's father's business partners whom I've never met, or random people that I see every year or so out at a bar, to attend a wedding that we are paying for ourselves and want to keep sacred and uncomplicated, then I just don't know what to say. It's a marriage ceremony, not a contest and I am not a show pony (although I did end up somehow buying a big poofy dress, which I love, oddly enough). I could go on and on about how my in-laws have tried to turn this into their daughter's day (whom I reluctantly agreed to have as my flowergirl)and have totally made me regret ever agreeing to have her in the procession at all, and then who also DIS-invited someone who I had invited because they do not get along, but I am just going to try very hard to block them out and focus on the fact that I am marrying the coolest guy on Earth. I am going to be ready for a career in politics after navigating all of this craziness! Good luck to all!
almostasadie
Friday, August 06, 2004
TO BRIDE WITH NINJA SKILLS: You are not being selfish in any way! I suggest you tell your aunt that only YOU will be trying on dresses and that you all can set up another time for her to try on dresses. If you don't put your foot down in the beginning, you will keep getting upstaged.
Reasonable Bride
Friday, August 06, 2004
Okay, here we go again. Talking with my mom about wedding dress shopping. She is very excited but not in a psycho way (as previously mentioned). She did say that she wanted to invite my aunt (her sister) with us. Some time ago, prior to the wedding hoopla, I told her that it would be totally cool if she wanted to come with us to look at dresses. She had two sons and wanted a daughter very badly but never had one. When her son got married last fall her now daughter in law didn't invite her to do any of the dress-crap (that is another bridezilla that is worthy of its OWN website!!!) So, long story short, my mom said that my aunt said, "oh, don't forget about me when you guys go.". Okay, cool. Here's the best part, she wants to go now not to share in the "fun" of mom-daughter dress stuff but to buy her own dress!! She and here live in significant other are getting married god-knows when and his mother wants my aunt to wear a white dress because he has never been married. She has already been married once, had two children and a grandchild and she wants to cut into my "special" time of wedding dress shopping!?!?! No way! I didn't say anything to my mom but I was pissed. A little selfish? Maybe. But seriously, I am THE BRIDE (ha ha). I deserve my own special wedding dress time and not have to share it with some old already-married fifty year old!!! Look out, Bridezilla is back!
bride with ninja skills
Friday, August 06, 2004
My fiance is so sweet - yesterday was the anniversary of our first date. And we still celebrated it even though we're engaged! It's so nice, too; I'd been feeling stressed by the wedding planning but this was just a little reminder of how much I love him.
Not so stressed anymore
Thursday, August 05, 2004
glad to be single-good thing! sounds like there's a good reason you're single, nobody can stand you. you 'make really me' sick!
not yet a bride
Thursday, August 05, 2004
I am the maid of horror for a friends FW at an upcoming wedding from hell. I came here to get some laughs and maybe share some stories about my bridezilla. I got the laughs but the only story I will share is ..... I am 30 and in a non serious relationship and I was feeling a little down about both until now. After reading all these stories of horrible families, horrible friends, from what sounds like mostly horrible brats, I am honestly HONESTLY thankful it's HER, YOU and NOT me! Thank you all for making me feel so much better about myself! Keep up the stories the more I read the better I feel! You brides here are SCARY SCARY people! Oh and dont say youll understand it when its finally your day, believe me, after all of this, Ill be taking the money and running!
Oh and to "not the bride yet" .... you make really me sad.
glad to be single
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Um, HappyBride, you know that BrideAudit is A JOKE, right?
Duh
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Rachel: That is so terrific that you adore your daughter in law! I have to say, from the point of view of a daughter in law who LOVES her mother in law, it makes a marriage so much happier when our husband's parents support us! Yeah for you!
Dilsey <email>
Sacramento, CA Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Hello all...I am totally cracking up. I cannot believe how much a fiasco this ##[[ac wedding is turning out to be. Last night I told my future husband to shove the whole entire wedding party up his a@@@. I mean is this normal, adjusted behaviour. I am shouting and screaming and hanging up on people. I got so drunk I collapsed at the weekend. I am running to the loo all the time with a very dodgy tummy. This is supposed to be a happy time. I WANT MY MONEY BACK
cracking up lady
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Okay, long weekend (for us Canadian girls) was spent scooting back and forth between families. The part that made me so mad I wanted to chew my own foot off was when I was at the future in-laws' house. Visiting them from the (still to remain) annonymous European country is the FSIL. When this woman's mouth opens her brain clearly turns off. She asks very rude and intrusive questions and makes very obvious but also rude statements. These are mostly directed at me. Please do not try to give here the benefit of the doubt by using the "language barrier" excuse, she was not born but raised here since the age of 7. She speaks very fluent English. What chapped my ass the most was when she said "well, most brides want to lose weight for their wedding. Don't you want to lose some weight?". Let me clear up one thing...I am training for my second triathlon and work out frequently. I am no Jessica Simpson but I am in great shape with not a whole lot of weight to lose without looking emanciated. Some may think I am over-reacting. I am a little on the conciencous side when it comes to my appearance and commemts about my weight are never appreciated but I was just appalled by this! How rude! What is she saying, I'm a heffer and need to drop some weight before I'm good enough for her brother?!? Meanwhile this woman is about two of me wide and only gets exercise by opening the fridge door! I can't stand her! She is loud, rude, inconsiderate and sometimes not so smart. I can't even look her in the eye! I asked her daughter (sooooo cute!!!!) to be the flower girl and I almost wish I hadn't because now that means I have to talk to her more than I do now! Well, one more family function and then she's back on a plane. I won't see her again until significantly closer to the big day. Good.
bride with ninja skills
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Dear Hating My Own Wedding:
I have one word for you - elope! If your family refuses to play well together don't try to make them. Go have a special day with the man you love and a couple of people that have supported you as witnesses. Have a big romantic MEANINGFUL event for you and your husband to be - whom you might recall the whole event is supposed to be for anyway.
You can always throw a big "reception" months down the road after the actual event (when everyone has calmed down and has stopped being a pain to each other).
Trust me - for pain in the a** families this is an excellent route to choose. You get a romantic wedding and your families can torture (I mean give their congrats to) you at a later time.
Been There Done That
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
My fiance and I were expected to get married on September 18th but now I am not so sure. Since I have announced this wedding there has been nothing but bickering and unhappiness. Apparently, I have made everyone unhappy with my guest list. My own sister is not coming because I didn't invite my cousin, my mother has not RSVP'd and I am not sure she's coming since she doesn't want to show favoritism and now my other sister-MOH is not sure if there will be a bridal shower since everyone is fighting. I am so depressed that the what should be the happiest day in my life has made everyone I care about so unhappy. I know that day is about me and my fiance getting married but what is the point of a wedding if none of my family shows up. I am at the point now that I don't even want a wedding this way no one is invited and no one can be mad.
Hating My Own Wedding <email>
Brooklyn, NY Tuesday, August 03, 2004
i use this booth for venting b/c i don't always want the people in my life to know i'm hurt or upset by something, since i DO feel selfish for being as jealsous as i am, and no i really don't want my poor mother or sisters to know that i am feeling awful and selfish-especially when 9 out of 10 times the feeling passes. i wrote that about a nanosecond after i found out the party moved, and i called my brother and found out what happenned. i love my brother. i even am starting to love my FSIL just b/c he does. i just needed to throw a hissyfit and found this to be the best medium. i don't care any longer. i have had 27 birthdays that were ALL all about me. it's high time i realize that other thing take place on september fourth than a global celebration of me. so i'm going, and i'm sucking up the $40 and chalking it up to a mistake. things happen.
and yes, hopefully i will be a bride one day and i will have these tough decisions to make also, i know. i'll just do the best i can with them and hope to God this booth i still open for me to freak out on when i don't want to scare any family or friends.
not yet a bride
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
To Not Yet a Bride: Why do you have to go to all of your future SIL's parties? I am sure she is not out to RUIN your 28th birthday. If you only knew the stress of trying to coordinate multiple people for multiple celebrations you would not be so whiny about this one little event. Here is a solution for you DON'T GO to the party.
In a few years when you are a bride to be you will understand trust me.
December Bride
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
crying my eyes out. my brother's getting married on 9/10. my birthday is 9/4. the bach party should have been 8/28 but it got moved to my birthday. have these people no fucking consideration? i got a godammned room that's costing me another $40 to switch, and my friends now hove to move the date of the party they're throwing me. SONS OF BITCHES. all i want in my life is to get married and have babies. i have a bf we're close to that(maybe a year away, though) but i sdon't want to fucking share my 28th birthday to celebrate something that's already been celebrated at 5 parties!!! not including the rehearsal nad wedding itself!! i could vomit.
not yet a bride
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
I got engaged just over a year ago. I was excited to get my wedding plans started. I love everything about my fiancee except his mother who is a b#$ch!!! I have been with him for about six years and she has treated me like crap for all six of them. Just recently we got into a huge argument that I guess has been coming for sometime now. She bascially said that she was not going to come to the wedding which is Oct 2004. She does not agree with some of the things that we are doing. My MIL thinks we should be not spending a lot of money on our wedding. The main reason is because I just gave birth to a baby girl in May. The second reason is because she has no say what so ever in this wedding. I tried to involve this women with my plans but she is so negative. Negative in life, whatever my Fiancee and I do she is sooooo negative. So just a couple of weeks ago my FMIL called me up and asked me why I told her son that she was not going to come to the wedding. I said because that is what she said and then she went on to call me a liar. After that we just went at it and she ended the argument by saying that no one gives two shits about my wedding so I hung up on her. My fiancee then called her back to find out what was going on and that is when I called her a F@#!
B!@#. From this she has called everyone in his family and played the vicitim so they would feel sorry for her. She even tried to get my fiancee's brother mad at him. She told him that he needs to put his foot down and put me in my place! What century are we in? I hate this women so much, she is the devil. I am having a breaking down with trying to take care of my daughter, plan a wedding and wonder if who in my fiancee's family hate us. Plus she was suppose to thriw me my Bridal shower this month, looks like that is not going to happen. Someone plus help me, what do I do with a FMIL FROM HELL!!!
FRUSTRATED BRIDE
Lola <email>
Sunday, August 01, 2004
This isn't anything bridal, except that by marriage to my son, the sweetest and dearest girl has become my DDIL. They are just perfect for each other, and we just LOVE her.
She is even DEARER in comparison to her real #$%^@ of a sister, who treats her and everyone else really badly. The sister is preggers, and since she has NO friends, NOBODY wanted to give her a shower. She finally threw such a fit that my own DDIL finally consented to throw the shower (a NONO, but she is to be forgiven almost anything in my book). I did a lot of the party trays and my own dear dau made a fabulous gift cake (of diapers, diaper genie, socks, blankets, etc.).
I asked later what did $%^&@ say about all the lovely preparations, and was told the "honoree" just sniffed and grabbed some more gifts. Needless to say, DDIL was in tears over the mean-spirited way her sis treated all the hard work and time and money spent.
Thanks for listening---It's off the subject, but I just want to tell everyone: "EYEEEE got the GOOOOOD one! EYEEEE got the GOOOOOOD one!!
LUCKY MIL July 31
rachel <email>
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Well.I'm usually an intelligent woman but have been very busy and a little ditzy lately. I just sealed the last of my invitation envelopes only to realize that I completely forgot to put in the directions to the church. 30 minutes after I finished freaking out about this, my future stepson caught me and my FH at a rather sensitive, embarassing moment. (I'd rather not go into details. Ever.)So I logged on because I felt the need of bridal humor. Reading all the bridezilla mail restored my sense of humor and made me realize what a lucky woman I am. My FH is absolutely wonderful and helping me with everything I want him to (and not helping when I don't want). My MOH lives far away and is still being the best friend and helper I could ever have. My parents have only asked me to invite 4 people. My sweetheart FMIL lives across the country and is still making all of the favours. (My only worry is that she may get busted for possession of MJ before the wedding) My sisters are planning the type of shower I've always wanted. Compared to some of the horror stories some of these poor brides have, I'm the luckiest bride around. Thankyouthankyouthankyou!
10/9ditzybride
Saturday, July 31, 2004
9/04 Bride: Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I am feeling better now - hopefully it will last. I love that you're getting married on Sept. 4 - so am I! I will try to send out positive vibes to you on your wedding day! Thanks again!
Tracy
Friday, July 30, 2004
Don't "hate the mother." Instead, just calmly take control, sooner rather than later. Say no to the ridiculous request for a day after party -- of course that's what the reception is for. But stay calm, don't raise your voice (ever -- really)to your FH or his mother. You can sugarcoat your no's anyway necessary ("I'm so sorry, we'd love to do that, but simply can't make the finances work"), but don't back off of your decision, unless you have really been convinced that you should. The only person that you need to negotiate with is FH. You're a team now, but the outside world, even family, does not get a vote.
Longtime Married
Friday, July 30, 2004
My FH's family has so far refused to do anything at all. They don't want to throw a rehearsal dinner, but they want FH and I (who don't have enough money for it) to throw a family reunion type get together the day after the wedding ... after we've left for the honeymoon, for her family only. I wasn't even around when she asked for it; she told FH probably so that I wouldn't immediately nix it. I mean, that's what the reception is for, right? A party for the family? Are my family, my GH and I so horrible that she wants another one just for her? What a biatch!!
Hate the mother
Friday, July 30, 2004
Why does everybody f*#$ing have an opinion about what *I* should do for MY wedding???? Shut the F(*&^ UP!! I don't want to hear it, I don't care what you got to say, just shut the F*&*% UP!!!
Desperate
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Still waiting. He** I have been there. I have done everything that you have and more. I thought I was crazy until I read an article in Madmoiselle Magazine called "confessions of a wedaholic"
I didn't feel so bad after that.
a wedaholic
Thursday, July 29, 2004
I fell in love with my best friend six years ago. He told me he didn't love me in the same way. I got over it and now we are the best of friends again. Anyway, I am now marrying a different guy, the best guy in the universe I swear... six months from now. and I have fallen in love with my friend again. as well as my future husband. oh damn. oh damn damn damn.
help
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Tracy - don't worry, it will all work out! I am getting married in 5 weeks myself, and every time I get stressed about issues leading up to the wedding, I think back to my sister's wedding day. There was huge difficulty getting her dress to the church (it ended up being transported in a Saab convertible!); when it/we got there, the church was flooded - 8 hours prior to the wedding; 2 bridesmaids ended up with hairstyles they disliked so much they went back to the hotel and redid their own hair; the trolley to transport guests b/w ceremony and reception broke down; one guest very nearly went to the hospital with alcohol poisoning.... It all sounds pretty terrible, right? And yet, in the end, it was a beautiful wedding, a super-fun reception, and everyone has incredibly fond memories of the whole event. Because everyone involved was able to approach all of this issues with a terrific attitude, it all worked out for the best. Whenever I find myself stressing about my upcoming wedding, I just think back to that day, and I know everything will be ok - and I know it will be for you, too!
9/04 Bride
Thursday, July 29, 2004
OK, so I'm not engaged yet. I'm obsessing about a wedding that isn't even in the works! My BF and I talked about it and I'm sure it's coming soon but, I told him (lie) that I wouldn't do any actual planning until we're official. I have a dress, veil, shoes, jewelry, attendants and programs mapped out. I've ordered favors and started looking at venues and attendants' gifts. I've ordered his wedding band and started looking for my dress for the rehearsal dinner. I've started pricing caterers and planning menus. I'm going today to get stuff to start mocking up centerpieces. I've got colors, tuxes picked out and I'm down to 4 invitation designs. It doesn't hurt to plan ahead, right? RIGHT?!
Still Waiting...
Naples, FL Thursday, July 29, 2004
And by the way, BrideAudit just told me that he should have spent at least $200 on a gift for us. No Thank You Card for Him!
HappyBride(Again)
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
All of my guests recieved thank you notes even if they didn't bring a gift.... except one. I hate my husband's boss and didn't want him at the wedding in the first place. He has caused us so much trouble and while my husband is looking for a new job it isn't easy in his field. He barely got paid the day before the wedding, two days late, and his boss showed up, ate the food, drank the drinks, and didn't even bother to give us a card let alone a gift. And we're pretty much certain that he didn't send one or plans to get us one at a later date. We got him and his wife a nice gift for their wedding and while gifts aren't everything I at least expected some gesture of congratulations from him. So since I didn't want him there anyway, I'm not thanking him for coming. And I don't feel bad about it at all.
HappyWife
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
To: Not yet a bride: I am 37 years old and I am finally getting married for the first and last time. I truly did believe it would never happen for me and I just accepted it and tried to be happy - and I was. Then - I met the most wonderful man in the world. He is everything I ever dreamed of in a husband (other than the over-bearing inlaws referred to below - several weeks ago I wrote about how they're all coming to stay with us in our tiny 1 bdrm 2 bath house for the entire week before the wedding - we will literally be putting a couple of them in the dining room, for God's sake). But ASIDE from that, he is perfect. I'm telling you this because you are only a baby, for crying outloud - still in your 20's!!! You have PLENTY of time. So what if it doesn't happen for a couple years yet...when it does happen, it will be the right man and will have been worth the wait. I talk in my exerp below about being apprehensive about my upcoming wedding, but one thing I am not apprehensive about is my upcoming marriage. I waited until the absolute right person came along and did not settle for anything less. It has been worth the wait, and it will be for you too! You are YOUNG YOUNG YOUNG!
Tracy
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
I'm in such a bad place right now. I know that when the day finally comes, it will be beautiful and I probably won't remember the things that went wrong, but right now I just have such a feeling of impending doom! If I had it to do over again, I truly think I would just go to Vegas, as my FH wanted to do. But it's too late - there's no stopping this runaway train. I'm now dealing with overbearing in-laws, a selfish sister-zilla who seems to think this is HER day to shine, and a fiance who keeps referring to our up-coming wedding as "this wedding fiasco." I would so love to hear from someone who had a lot of horrible challenges leading up to the wedding, but then had a wonderful wedding just the same. I need someone to tell me this really isn't so bad and that it will be all worth it in the end. Right now I'm having a terrible time believing it. I adore my FH and all I want is to be his wife. Why does this have to get so difficult? Why are people such !#$%z&'s?
Tracy
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Thanks not yet a bride. I am not making him do it. He just doesn't want to plan it and he is happy to be getting married.
evee
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
i'm actually switching BC now so that i can get pregnant right when we're ready(i'm on depo and it can take a year + to concieve once you go off, not gonna trap the man, but want a honeymoon baby!). it helps to know i'm maybe not as horrible as i felt earlier.
huh?-what other people do is their business, so you just go right on ahead an obsess over something as trivial and unimportant as save the date cards. from what i read, she's not making anybody do anything and he even said he didn't want to plan, she's 32 years old and has a mind of her own, clearly.
not yet a bride
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Um, maybe it's just me, but it may be a bad idea to "make" someone marry you or "accidently" get pregnant when your partner may not want kids.
In other news, I'm obsessed with save the date cards right now.
huh?
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Not yet a bride. I feel for you. I have done the exact same thing and done more than cry myself to sleep thinking that I would never be a bride or a mother. It is painful to watch someone get married and have babies. My boyfriend waited 7 years and I finally had to give him the ultimatum (when I found out his cousin was getting married after dating her husband for only 1 1/2 years) BUT now he is happy. Really happy and much calmer. I wanted children before 30 (I am nearing my 32nd)I wanted a lot of things. He always told me he didn't want kids. but now I know that had I made him marry me before he wouldn't have been as thrilled as he is now, he even wants kids his only thing is that they can't be planned he can't handle that NO PROBLEM (oops I forgot to take my pill for the last 8 months). Now he is introducing me as his fiance or future wife. Just remeber you still have at least 14 years of fertility left and no one would blame you if you got pregnant on your honeymoon. Sit back he will realize soon that it doesn't matter. I will be married 8 years after I met him and our parents are thrilled instead of 'ok' with it. You have all of my heartfelt understanding.
evee
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
i'm a horrible, horrible person. everytime something good happens to any of my friends with regards to weddings or babies, i cry my eyes out b/c i want it so bad and am just not there yet. it's not that i'm unhappy they're happy, i'm unhappy I'M unhappy. i am still glad for them, but i cry. i've had a bf for 3 years, and he's just not ready to propose, and i agree with him. he's not in a position to support a family at all, and i'm not sure i'd say yes if he did ask now(which he wouldn't). but i'm almost 28 years old, and i always wanted my first child by the time i was 30, and it just doesn't look like that's going to happen. my little brother is getting married in 6 weeks, and i'm a BM, and i'm doing everything i can to make this nice for them, i threw an AWESOME shower for her, i'm coordinating most things with the other BM's (the MOH is pretty tied up with work and stuff). and the more i do, the more i want to plan my own wedding. who am i kidding, i actually have the whole thing pretty much laid out in my mind.
oh , well, someday.
not yet a bride
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
My bridesmaids threw me a shower this weekend. Only half the people came and the shower was only about an hour and a half long. The food was awful and the obvious theme of the shower was "how cheap can we make this". The gift they got me was inexpensive. The worst part is that I have bent over backwords for these girls and their weddings. Ashame I didn't get the same in return. It isn't that I wanted an expensive shower, but they could have at least gotten food that tasted good. I have had better food in the cafeteria where I work!
Cathy1
Monday, July 26, 2004
Confused:
Yes, my wedding did occur 4 days after the attacks but in a way it made the "little" challenges seem that much smaller. Everything at that moment in time was put in perspective and instead of concentrating on the material (and ultimately forgettable) aspects of my wedding, it forced our families to contemplate what was important. We had family and friends that couldn't make it due to grounded flights. Our honeymoon was uncertain until Oakland Airport received the all-clear to resume international flights. Oh well. These were small potatoes compared to what the folks in D.C. and NY were going through. My father is in the military and we waited to find out if he would be sent to assist back East (he ended up being deployed to Iraq but not before he walked me down the aisle). However, how could I whine about the uncertainty of his presence at my wedding when so many people lost their family members forever? I am not glad for the attacks, but they certainly did drive home the importance of relationships as opposed to whether my diamond was big enough, etc...
Dilsey <email>
Sacramento, CA Monday, July 26, 2004
I don't want my sisters to be my bridesmaids. I am the youngest of 5 girls and i don't wasnt them because they are always at each others throats. And my mother thinks that I should justhave them and stop being a bitch, she goes off in a sulk about everything I want that she does't like. Please remind me who's day is it? All I want to do is marry the man that I adore.
Michelle
Monday, July 26, 2004
I am turning into the biggest, snappiest, control freak because of the upcomng wedding in 43 days. I am Not by nature like this. My poor fiance, thinks i am nuts. I worry about everything from the centerpieces to the stuff my bridesmaids are getting for me to wear at my bachlorette party!! how can I stop???
DB <email>
Pittsburgh, pa Saturday, July 24, 2004
I am slowly losing my mind! I confess that I love being a bridezilla. It's my duty, it's my curse.
CA bridezilla!
Friday, July 23, 2004
To: sick of cheap fiance
Sounds like you've got a real winner there. Why are you marrying him?
Reasonable Bride
Friday, July 23, 2004
To: Tried to Make it Easier and Failed
I'm sure you didn't mean to put it on them. However when you say to brideswomen "it's totally optional," they won't really hear that. They are friends and they want your day to be the best it can be. My suggestion is to find a way to reimburse them. Even if it is a month or 2 later.
Reasonable Bride
Friday, July 23, 2004
Word of advice from a November bride. Inspect your veil before you leave the bridal boutique. Once you have chosen your veil, make sure a fresh veil has been ordered for your wedding day. The clerk at the bridal shop tried to bag the floor model for me: prongs on the comb were bent, beads were coming undone, the tulle did not look fresh, and who knows how many people had tried it on whose hygene habits were not like my own? For what I was paying for the veil, the least they could do is make sure it was mine and only mine--fresh and new. When the "new" veil came in...The combs looked bent and there was hair imbedded in the layers of tulle.
If they think you are being rude--LET THEM. You are paying too much to be treated like a dolt who wouldn't know the difference between used and new. Make sure you get a veil that is all your own. ...Because at another bridal store while trying on veils, I got poison ivy on my head. If you buy a floor model...that might be what you will get, too.
Be picky, and have a happy and wonderful wedding day!
Veil Warrior
Friday, July 23, 2004
Dilsey - how is it your wedding went off w/o a hitch when, it would appear, it took place four days after the 9/11 attacks?
confused
Friday, July 23, 2004
I have to admit that my bridal experience was not nearly as life-threatening (to my dearly beloved, not me) as many of those posting in here but I figured that if I could assuage the guilt of a future bride who may be experiencing the same situation I did, then it would all be worth it.
My husband proposed to me in February of 2001 and we quickly decided to have the wedding on September 15th of that year. We were both excited about the pending nuptials, and since neither of us were particularly enamored with the idea of a huge gala event, we decided that seven months was more than enough time to plan.
Planning the wedding was a dream. Despite the fact that we live in Sacramento, my husband and I decided to be married near the ocean in my husbands hometown near Santa Cruz. This proximity to his family meant that they were willing to help with everything: tablecloths, food, wedding favors, invitations, chairs, decorations you name it, they offered their assistance and did a beautiful job too. I hardly had to lift a finger.
My problem lay mainly with the woman spoiled little bitch that I originally chose as my MOH.
At the time of our engagement I asked an acquaintance/casual friend of mine named Amy to be my MOH, more out of a sense of obligation than of any real feeling of friendship. Being a former bridezilla herself, Amy fancied herself the perfect MOH/wedding coordinator and eagerly accepted my offer.
Amy soon made me wish I had never invited her to the wedding, much less asked her to be a part of my bridal party. First she had an issue with the sites I was looking at for the ceremony. I was initially considering a beach wedding in which my bridal party and I would go barefoot. Whimsical no?
Amy threw a full-scale temper tantrum in which she actually stomped and threw her arms down. She hated the beach, didnt like the water, didnt like the sun, and said she would stay in the parking lot if I insisted in getting married in the sand.
Next she had an issue with the dress I had selected. She sat on the sidelines at the bridal shop like Roger Ebert, criticizing everything. I was too fat, I had a flat chest, my hips were too big, I would never find a dress that could possibly make me look good. (For the record I am 6, 170 pounds, sport a C cup and run competitively, I am in decent shape)
She hijacked the issue of the bridesmaids dresses. She is a heavier person, and had an issue with EVERYTHING! The dress had to flatter her tummy, it had to hide her arms, it had to be floor-length. She insisted on a dress that would make her feel like a princess. She criticized everything I picked out. She even approached me with a picture of the dress that she wanted to wear; it was a bridal gown (right down to the three-foot train!) She insisted it could be dyed blue if we ordered them in time.
In the midst of all this I have to admit that I was so baffled by her self-absorbed and infantile behavior that it never occurred to me that I shouldnt tolerate this boor. It wasnt until she threw her last temper tantrum regarding the photographer that I made the decision to cut her from the wedding party and the guest list.
My plan was to have a relaxed wedding in which my guests could enjoy themselves. The idea was to place the emphasis on the vows being made instead of how much money my husband and I could spend. Amy wanted me to hire a professional photographer (minimum cost: two grand in this area) and do all the standard poses. Bride and groom, bride and bridal party, groom and groomsmen, bride with parents, groom with parents, bride with caterer the list goes into perpetuity. I wanted candid prints by an amateur photographer in the family. She threw a fit in my car and actually roller herself into a little ball in my front seat to sulk.
The next day I told her she was out. I asked my brother to rent a tux and stand-in as my MOH or BOH, whichever you prefer. He and I are very close and I regret not asking him before.
In the end the wedding went off without a hitch. Amy didnt show up (I told her not to bother), I dont in the least regret the lack of a professional photographer, it doesnt bother me that the BMs bouquets were accidentally forgotten in my MILs refrigerator (oh well!), and we all danced, drank, sang, and generally had a good time.
Dilsey <email>
Sacramento, CA Thursday, July 22, 2004
I am planning and paying for this coronation sized wedding all by myself. I am so tired of it, with 9 months to go, that I've started answering various venders' questions with "I don't care. Do whatever you want, just don't screw me too badly." I go to meetings about tablecloths, meetings about food, meetings about flowers, all that crap, and I am WORN OUT. I don't even WANT a stupid wedding, just a nice lunchtime thing at the courthouse would be fine with me. FH's family and FH absolutely insist. Easy to do when they aren't paying for jack.
Long story short, FMIL is driving me crazy about the Rehearsal Dinner, which I also DON'T CARE ABOUT. She wants a fancy sit down, but she can't seem to do it without driving me freaking insane talking about it, asking me to go to meetings with her, asking me to approve every d@mn thing. JUST FREAKING PLAN IT and leave me alone to plan the ten thousand other things I have to do with no help at all. DO THIS ONE THING, PLEASE. I have repeatedly explained to her that I am far too busy to take on planning her event as well as mine, that I have a demanding job and that I am planning this whole wedding with no help from my family, but she keeps scheduling me to do things.
My head may explode now.
Bridey
Thursday, July 22, 2004
My conservative family think the FH has been married just once not twice before. Praying drunk friend won't spill beans at reception...
3's a charm
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
I'm planning a stagette for my FH best friend Fiance. She's been away at school but moved back one month before the wedding.
She asked me to plan her stagette back in December (the wedding is next week) she had finally gave me her list of invitees yesterday. She didn't mention that all of these ppl live out of town. Now she's mad at me because I planned the stagette for this weekend and not for the day before the wedding. Well, after I tried contacting her 6 times I had to take initiative and plan the whole stupid thing without her. It's not like I'm a mind reader. She's been back and hasn't done a thing except bitch that none of the high priced items weren't bought off the registry. Well HELLOOOO!!!! Both of your parents are multi millionaires and you're both trust fund babies. She's not even working as she's trying to get pregnant ASAP. I'm sick of her Princess attitude. This is the last time I'll do anything nice.
Pissed off Acquaintance
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Beware of bridezilla's building rage!!! Further tales of the pissy-pants mother...but first, some background info. My FH is the only member of his family born in this country. The rest of his family is of directly decendant from a European country that will remain annonymous. I thought it would be cool (as did he) to incorporate some of the ethnic wedding traditions into the wedding considering half of his family is flying halfway across the world to see us. Besides, we are two families coming together and that means two sets of traditions and customs. Okay, that being said I told my mom that I would like to have a table of homemade cakes that my FMIL and SIL offered to make instead of the traditional gaudy monstrosity we call a wedding cake. This table of cakes is a tradition in this annonymous country. I might also add that this is really the only ethnic tradition I have incorporated as of yet but I have like 13 months. Here's where my wierdo mom comes in...she is all upset because she thinks that my FH wants all these other traditions and I haven't considered my family's traditions (meanwhile most of my less-than-worldly family lack culture and class). I am baffled by this. I ask for one little thing (so far) to be a little different than she's used to ("well, this is a Canadian wedding and they should just get used to that!"). She wants this big, ugly-ass wedding cake for the photo op and "it's just so nice when he feeds her a piece and she feeds him a piece" blah, blah, blah. It makes me want to barf. She wants me to "do what I want" but as soon as I do I am not "considering her feelings" or my "FH family is controlling me". She's nutty and I am seriously considering elopement before I just spaz out and get medival on someone's ass!!!
bride with ninja skills
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
I am soooo lucky...my MoH lives about 4 hours away and has been nothing but wonderful..I do have some issues with a bridesmaid who is destined to wear green taffeta if she doesn't knock it off..
treefrog
Friday, July 16, 2004
Twisted Sister: You couldn't have picked a better name for yourself. You ARE twisted! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Your sister is a selfish #$@*& because she has a 4 month old and can't commit herself to YOU??!! A child, especially a newborn is far more important than your wedding day, princess. Sorry to be the one to break the bad news to you. Oh, and one more thing...if you were going to complain about buying her dress, you shouldn't have offered to pay for it in the first place.
DISGUSTED
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Okay, seriously, now I'm beginning to think that brides are bridezillas only because they're driven to it. I went to the florists to pick out my bouquets. I had flowers in mind, just not freaking pictures with me about what I wanted them to look like. So, I described how I wanted it to look (thinking that someone whose job it is to design floral arrangements could do that given a description of how I want it and the flowers that I want). I ended up leaving because I didn't have pictures and each time I suggested a flower I wanted the florist would say "No." to every single selection. Seriously. She didn't even give me a reason. And she wasn't even the bridal consultant - we had made an appointment with someone else who neglected to show and she got shoved into it. I can understand that maybe she was a tad bit unhappy about doing something that she hadn't expected, but blowing a sale worth hundreds of dollars just because you're disgruntled seems odd to me. So, abiding by Ms. Flower-Nazi's guidelines, I have picked pictures of my bouquet and my bridesmaids' bouquets (though the bridesmaids' bouquets aren't giong to be exactly like the picture - drat the dreaded creativity must come into play!!!) and will go to a different florist. On the upside, picking out the cake was a great experience - the shop was awesome, giving us tons of samples (mmm cake).
Florist's bane
Thursday, July 15, 2004
I could just cry. I know that my wedding day won't be perfect because, the reality is, I've never had a planned "perfect" day in my life. The perfect days I have had have always been happy accidents.
That said Disaster Looms on the horizon. If I see one more freakin' article about "bridal etiqette" that talks about which Grandmother's hankie you should carry I'm going to projectile vomit. In my world, I'm worried about whether or not my alcohlic father is going to make a scene by staggering around the reception asking people if they have any idea how much it was costing him. (Nothing, I'm paying for it all,including live elephant, on my own). If my psycho sister who has a massive rage problem will say something unforgiveably rude to guests I actually like. If my passive-agressive social-phobic mother will pull some major stunt the week of (Sept.18 2004).
In addition, my fiancee's parents, who are perfectly nice, totally insane illinois farmers (she never stops talking he never starts) have declared they are staying at our house. Tracy, my heart goes out to you. I told my fiancee that if his parents stayed it would be bad luck for me to see him from after the rehersal until the wedding so I would stay with my MOH & dear friend. What I didn't explain was that it is bad luck in the sense that I'm putting on a semi-hindu outdoor wedding compelete with live african elephant and hosting a 4 hour party the next day and would doubtlessly slap my FMIL stupid, and she and her non-stop mouth would be the unlucky ones. Happily he understood.
I am excited about my wedding, I just wish my family would stay home!!!!!!!
Hapless in Holt <email>
Holt, MI Thursday, July 15, 2004
I am 9 days away from my wedding and my FH is a dream. He has been great. I just got a call at work that my little sister (MOH) can't fit into her dress. She had a baby 4 months ago (2nd child) and is worried about her dress. The same dress I paid for and gave to her 3 months ago. I planned my own shower & stagette and paid for everything both times. Because of her new baby I am not making her do anything but show up. Thanks alot you selfish little B*&^%$. We were going to elope but you freaked. Well get ready because you are going to get some serious payback!
Twisted Sister <email>
Edmonton, AB Thursday, July 15, 2004
Oh sh** oh sh** oh sh** - we don't have the cash to pay for the caterer, the photographer and the DJ. We've already put down the deposits for them, the invitations are mailed out and there's not enough money left (not even on the credit cards). I was supposed to be watching the budget on the wedding and I totally blew it. Oh #%*!@ what do I do now?!?!
(The confession - I haven't pointed any of this out to my FH yet).
Panicked Bride
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Dear Tracy, That sucks!! Here is what you should do: Tell them you are so happy that they are coming to stay, but you would never dream of forcing them to all fit into your little house. Then rent them rooms at a motel, as your "gift" to them. Insist that they must let you do this for them, since they are your guests and your home can't fit them. This is in fact a baldfaced lie - they are selfish and blind to impose on you like this. But it's better for you to lose the money you'll spend than to lose the peace of mind you'll get for having them NOT IN YOUR HOUSE!!! Just never let on how annoyed you are that they are coming - just act grateful that they are coming and that they are "forgiving" you for having to put them in a motel. You so don't need to be off on the wrong foot with your in-laws.
GreedyGreedy
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Sorry to use this confessional in this way, but to so-called "ugly bride," are you only looking at your proofs? Ask your photographer if your final prints will be retouched. Many photographers offer only retouched prints as their final prints, others will do retouching for an additional fee. A proof is just that -- an unretouched small print, there to give you an idea which final prints to buy. There's a reason prints are more expensive from your photographer than they are from the discount store.
If he says no retouching is available, ask if you can buy negatives or digital files from him and have someone else retouch them. Your wedding pictures should remind you of the happiest moments of your life, not some silly makeup thing, and you shouldn't be angry with your friends and family over something easily fixed, either.
cmm <email>
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Okay, I have been engaged for less than two weeks, my wedding is next (2005) August and already I feel my inner Bridezilla rearing it's ugly head! I am ready to just snap on my mother! Already she is freaking out about where we will be having the gala ("you have to book these things right away") and how she isn't being "involved enough". Well, excuse me! I wasn't aware that being involved ment reporting on every down-to-the-minute happening. My FH and I are arranging appointments with hotels & co-ordinators this week and my mom is all pissy-pants that she doesn't get to "help" because she loves that stuff and "how are we supposed to know what it will look like if it's not set up for a wedding", blah, blah. She thinks that we should go on only Saturdays and she should be the one to check this stuff out with me. Heaven forbid I plan a wedding with my FH! Besides, if we "have to get this done right away" and there are only so many Saturdays (I also have a life besides planning this crap)I can't plan around her ever so scheduled life (she is only working 3 hrs this week at her P/T job but she is never "sure" when she will have time when I do ask her to do stuff. One last thing! My sister (MOH)e-mailed me (she lives at home with the parents)saying that my mom was in a huff (again) because I left off the guest list two distant cousins who happen to be pretty tight with my Grandma but I put down "and guest" for some of the single guests instead of them. Well, holy crap! For one I can't stand these people and two, the guest list is not set in stone and three, isn't it only just the polite thing to do to invite single guests to bring someone!? I know they probably won't but it's nice to have the option! She was also pouting because she was not #1 on the guest list (my FH and I were 1 & 2, my dad was #3 and she was #4). Wow. I had no idea it was to be in order of importance. Imagine how my FMIL feels, she's #8. Look out everyone....Bridezilla is festering a whole lot of pent up rage and she may just freak out soon!!!
bride with ninja skills
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Dear Ugly Bride,
Get thee to a digital specialist!!! Have a couple of your photos scanned and retouched. At least you'll have something to frame and put on the wall. A good digital specialist can fix just about ANYTHING. You think those models in the magazines are perfect?
Ruth
Dallas, TX Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Dear Tracey, I'm shocked that your inlaws could do that to you! You sooooo need the space and time for yourself in the days leading up to your wedding. Is there truly nowhere else those SEVEN people can stay? Good lord, if they can't afford to stay in a motel, why come down the whole week beforehand? I feel for you....The only upside I guess is that you can ask them to help with stuff that you haven't finalised.
Too many people
Sydney, Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Thanks for your support Evee. It was almost nine months ago and I still can't get over the feeling of betrayal. It's a shame because I hate looking at the video and pictures and don't have any framed in our house.
Ugly Bride
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
I don't want a wedding!! I keep trying to talk my fiance into eloping. I just can't be bothered with the hassle, expense, potential problems, etc. I know it's selfish. He was talking about having a ceremony, something more traditional etc, so I said, well if that's what you want, I'll let YOU plan it. Want to do that? He said, "No way" and he's now beginning to come around to seeing things my way.
mox
Boston, Tuesday, July 13, 2004
My fiance and I live in a small two-bedroom house. His parents, grandparents, brother, brother's wife and nephew are ALL coming to stay with us for the entire week before the wedding. They can't afford a motel. Is it unreasonable of me to be a little shocked that they think nothing of doing this to me?
Tracy
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
We had a long friendship. We got in fights along the way. Who doesn't? I do not need an email telling me how awful I've been throughout the years and then letting me know what you expect from me as a bridesmaid. OF COURSE I'm not gonna be there if you give me a stupid ultimatum. Get off this power kick. I'm not jealous of your wedding. I was happy for you BUT VERY BUSY WITH MY LIFE. You know damn well I've never been into weddings and I'm truly sorry if I didn't fit the mould of a perfect bridesmaid. Could you not just have brought up the issues you had with me rather than discuss them behind my back and then wait for an opportunity to blow? Either way, I wish you the best of luck. I hope you have a wonderful wedding because I'm going to pick up that phone and bow out. You obviously don't give a shit about me, as I've just discovered. Maybe I'm clueless about marriage. And yes, I'm the only "single friend" so "you couldn't discuss anything with me" (it's not a disease). I just hope that you learn to accomplish something by yourself, just once.
Phew. That felt good.
relieved
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Dear Ugly Bride
You have my deepest sympathies. Shame on those who would be so self absorbed and not care that you looked your best on your wedding day. Send them all brownies laced with Ex-lax.
Evee
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
I loved my wedding - that is, the flowers, the reception, the food, the dress, the music, my family/friends and most of all my husband. But when I think back to that day all I can do is try and stop myself from crying. Due to stress, my skin totally broke out and the make up lady could only do so much to help. Since I was dancing up a storm, all the make up came off and it wasn't the prettiest site you've seen. Plus, I didn't like the way the hair style looked on my face shape. It's trivial, I know, but none of the great stuff can compensate for the fact that I was an 'ugly bride.'
I felt that no one in my bridal party, nor my own mother, cared enough on that day to come up and say 'hey, go and re-apply some makeup.' They were so self-absorbed that they let me prane around looking like sh#t. Listen, I'm not a pretty girl by any means. I never was one to get a lot of attention and that's totally fine. But for that one day, I wanted to be pretty and I was the complete opposite....
Ugly Bride
Sherman Oaks, CA Monday, July 12, 2004
I want the wedding here and over with. I'm sick of the planning and the mindless patronizing people give me.
Hairstylist: I'm getting married. I did not just graduate from kindergarten. YOu don't need to address me in that, "oh your wedding hair!!!!" condescending tone...like it's all i dream about. Stop gushing.
Mom: If you keep a countdown as to when FH and I will be married you need more things to occupy your day. I don't care if "The Big Day! It's just X weeks away!!!!" I know the day and the time. Keeping track of all the time inbetween doesn't interest me.
Bridesmaids: I bought your dress. I'm paying for hair & make up. I'm saving you money on a hotel the night before. I refused a shower. A phone call every now and then wouldn't be OOTQ. We don't need to talk about the wedding - in fact I'd like to talk about something else!!!
FMIL: We'll get back to you about the RD. But really, you would do us a huge favor by taking this task on yourself. We have confidence in your ability to make a dinner reservation.
FBIL: Do you not see the pain you inflict on your father and 1/2 brother? Whay should we pay for your tux and hotel when you bitched about our wedding date being too close to a cruise you wanted ot take? You have plenty of money for the things you want and want to do. I cannot stand you. It sickens me to think I will be tied to you in some remote way. You're not fit to pump gas. You are selfish and idiotic. And your jealousy of your 1/2 brother getting married is so apparant you 40 year old, never-been-married loser because you're so interested in yourself and drugs nimrod. Stay away...FAR AWAY from me for the rest of your life.
Really though, I just wish the day were here.
Bootie
Monday, July 12, 2004
My crazy bridezilla is making this week a total stress case for me!! The wedding is Sunday and I just found out this Monday that my stupid ugly 100% polyester bridesmaid dress does not only not fit but needs to have the zipper replaced. I told Bridezilla in January when she made us order the dresses, that I would not be the same size in July (i have a chronic disease that I have to take prednisone for that makes my weight balloon and shrink on a day by day basis.) She made us order the horrible dresses anyway because god forbid they come from different dye-lots and be a fraction of a shade different in color!!!! Needless to say the damn thing does not fit, so i had to find a tailor who could do alterations before friday (when I have to be at the wedding locale for rehearsal). Furthermore, the goddamn dress was made by a certain cheap-ass national bridal chain store and the seams that need to be let out barely have any extra fabric to let out, so it might still not fit. In addition I have to find a dry-cleaner that can steam press my dress in less than a day so all the creases from the previous seams will not show. This is ridiculous!!! I'm paying like another $90 in alterations/cleaning for this horrid dress that is itchy and polyester and i will never be able to wear anywhere else ever again!!!!!
ihatepolyester
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
I told two of my oldest friends (who are divorced and have the most horrible eight year old son together) that we are not allowing any kids (under 16) at our wedding because the guest list got way out of hand.
The truth of the matter is that none of his friends or my other friends/relatives would think to bring a child to a formal wedding and reception. Even if they did - noone elses' children that we know of throw themselves down on the floor and scream and cry until they throw up if they are not the center of attention for 5 minutes. SERIOUSLY - the kid did this when we were all at breakfast the other day because the adults were trying to talk about something other than cartoons and video games and he was gettng bored.
So this little "rule" was invented just for them. My friends...somewhere a couple of villages are missing their idiots.
Not Putting up with Childzilla
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
I have a doozy of a bridezilla story!! A girl who I went to school with about 10 years ago decided she would marry her [absolutely cretinous] guy and asked myself and two other former schoolmates to be bridesmaids (I got the honour of being the MOH). Anyhow, despite not being particularly close to her (or her man, who has hardly evolved from our tree-living descendants) I felt it would be rude to refuse and so agreed (as did the other two girls). Well what a nightmare. At the engagement party she handed out to all of us a sheet of instructions on how to behave as her bridesmaids(in 5 point font). Included were statements such as 'Don't drink prior to the ceremony' (none of us drink in the morning, I don't know about you, but that's a bit much) and 'You will pay for all costs associated with being a bridesmaid'. This didn't worry us (apart from the fact she worked away at a mine site and so earnt as much as the 3 of us put together, and 2 of us were full time students). Until, that is, we discovered that she wanted us to 1) have bridesmaid dresses that were to be made at $600 a pop, and 2) buy shoes which we then had to cover in the same material as the dresses - ensuring we could never wear the f&*$ing things with anything else as she'd chosen harlot red as the bridesmaid colour!! (I admit here to a conservative approach with footwear.) Anyhow, as MOH I got the dirty job of calling her and telling her that 2 of the 3 of us would find it a bit difficult to afford all this and that (as we are all off the rack dress sizes) we were more than happy to have a look around to see if we could get off the rack dresses similar to what she wanted. Anyhow we all got a call the next night telling us that she 'had decided she wasn't having any bridesmaids'. We'd been sacked!! Every time I tell this story it gets a laugh. I also lost the instruction list as I took it into work to show people and it was nicked by someone who obviously thought it was a scream.
Alliera
Perth, WA Tuesday, July 06, 2004
I am sick of being made to feel guilty for a wedding I am paying for. No one has to come. Either come and smile, or stay the hell away.
And for godsakes, mother-in-law, close your jaw... yea-- I am Jewish. Get over it. Bigot.
And by the way, lovely, MOH. Your BF is a racist homophobe who is the stupidest creature I have ever talked to. I am losing respect for you.
Boy. Weddings sure are times of JOY.
In my own piss-filled world
Monday, July 05, 2004
You know, I am so sick of Bitch Brides (ie "Emily Post" and "sick of em all") posting about getting dresses in larger sizes Personally, you sound lucky enough to find anybody to be a BM for you in the firstplace! Pull your veiled heads out of your asses for 5 minutes and realise there are more than enough ways of fitting your BM's to dresses. Try getting a bolt of silk and having the dresses made. I have 3 BM's, and they are sizes 2,2, and 24, and I love them all, which is why I asked them to be in the wedding party. The fabric ended up being a big bargin ( I'll admit, it was a REAL find), and because I told the girls to pick their own patterns, they looked fabulous and had dresses they would wear again, for 160 dollars!
Miss Clarah
Canada, Sunday, July 04, 2004
I deleted all the items off of my registries after my bridal shower to "ensure" that I would receive cash for a wedding gift. Would it be so bad if we could just register at banks? After all, how many food steamers and Cuisinarts does a girl need?
too smart to be broke
Canton, OH Saturday, July 03, 2004
Ungrateful family...we are only having a real wedding because my family had strong opinions about us not eloping. After 4 months of my life being consumed with planning half decent $11,000 wedding and reception and still trying to run my new business and adjust to the area we've moved into, we're getting married in 2 weeks and I can't seem to find anyone in my family throughout the last four months up to and including the wedding day around to help with anything except things I don't need help with or that just create more work for me. I have no one to decorate the hall, no one to help transport our cars from cermeony to reception, no one to help return our valuables home at the end of the night so B/G can just have a stress-free exit chauffered ride home and enjoy our wedding night. We can't decorate the hall until after 2 p.m. My hair and makeup start at 1:00 and I have to be on the road by 3:30 to get to ceremony. I finally got a response out of one sister to help take our possessions out of the hall at 12:30, and she's like 12:30? I guess I can stay that long. Then she calls back. Okay, fine, I'll help you, but what am I supposed to do with all this stuff? Who else is helping me? I feel bad for being snotty but I just said everyone in the family wanted this wedding but everyone just seems to think they can show up, eat, drink and go home and so far it's just you. Everyone in my family can't understand what I'm so stressed out about and thought I should just have a backyard ceremony/reception. Hell, why don't I just ask all the neighbors to not cut their grass that day too. I just wanted a stress-free destination wedding about me and my husband, and now I'm the one getting crapped on for this so important family event that I feel like making a speech thanking all my nonsupportive family for their efforts. I can't blame groom's family becuase they're coming in from out of state and can't help. I feel bad that now I have to turn to wedding guests to ask if they can help with decorating the hall and cleaning up or we'll have to cancel our limo and spend the night cleaning up in our tux and gown driving a car load of party supplies. (I forgot to mention we have no bridal party because I thought I was doing everyone a favor of not needing to spend loads of money on outfits on 4 month notice and attending rehearsals etc)
I want my life back
Saturday, July 03, 2004
So, the wedding never happened (The FH called it off 11 days out. Say goodbye security deposits but, I'm still working on it) but, I need to share this little tidbit. I was as understanding as I could be with my attendants. I had 5 just to keep the peace (including 2 of my sisters and both of his) and that didn't include the flower girls and ring bearers I was guilted into having. I paid for the kids' clothes (all 4 of them)and let my girls pick out any dress they wanted in a certain color. If they wanted to get it at Ross they could have. They could have whatever shoes they wanted as long as they matched their dress. I didn't want them to go to big expense on my behalf so I paid for their jewelry, makeup artist and hair and even bought gifts.
Then the bitching started. "This color looks awfull on me!", "We have to go to fittings?!", "I can't even fill out the bust!" "Do I have to wear heels?", I can't afford a dress". My sisters (bless them both) were really accomodating once they got over their complaints. His younger sister really tried to be helpful (shoes turned out to be a whole other fiasco for her). His other sister did nothing but gripe about how the dress made her look fat. Ok, she wears a size 8. I wish I was an 8. She couldn't pay for the dress so, his younger sister bought it for her. Every little nitpicky little dig about what a pain in the ass this was made it into conversation. They didn't have to say yes, dammit! I almost just had my dog walk with me. Then they wonder if they are getting gifts? They should be thankful I don't have a gun permit!
Still Waiting
Friday, July 02, 2004
I've been purposely riling up the under 20 crowd over at one of the wedding message boards. It's soooo easy to do and they are so funny when they get all mad. Actually, I'm not all that sorry, most of them are immature. >:)
evil message board poster
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Dear Embarrassed....I think you should throw your own shower...I am...and do it your way, only invite people who make you feel really good about yourself...You are absolutely goorgeous x
september bride
Thursday, July 01, 2004
I had dated the groom for 1 1/2 before we ere engaged. For a few months before we actually got engaged, we had talked about it. My sister actually got engaged before me (after my groom and I had began talking about ours). when I got engaged, no one recognized it or I should say the only time someone acknowledged it was to say that we got engaged because I my sister had gotten engaged. I also decided on a date that was a year before my sister because I thought "Why should I wait to get married?" and the date we decided on was three years to the date that we had began our relationship, but everybody thought I set it at that time to "beat" my sister at getting married. BUT on top of that, once plans began to evolve for my wedding, my groom's personality changed. Everyone noticed it, I think I noticed it, but I ignored it I guess. He was rude to my parents and family and freinds. I wanted to have the wedding in his hometown because I loved his church and his priest. My parents and family were spending alot of money to be there for me. His family did not contribute at all, but they said that "to save money" they were going to hold a BBQ in their backyard (which was fine with me, but they should have left the whole save the money thing because that was the only thing were going to pay for). On top of that, my groom refused to look for an apartment for us (he was living with his mom and dad). He refused to even consider that I wanted to go to my first choice of law school and that if it came down to it, we would live in different states until I was done. AND on top of that he wanted his parents (who weren't paying for the wedding at all) to have a chance to renew their vows, during our ceremony. When I said no, it was OUR day, he threw a tantrim. I even pointed out that my parents were paying for the wedding as a gift to him and I. AND then after we said the vows he wanted to have his BM to clamp a ball and chain on his ankle.
Anyway, I was thinking this wasn't going to work out, when my parents approached me and said they were not going to pay for the wedding and they were going to cancel it. They began not a week later at planning my sisters wedding.
Anyway, I hope by now this won't come as a shock: I didn't marry the guy.
OH! By the way, a year after my wedding was canceled, I found out that the groom's parents were planning on making their basement into an appt for us.
OH MY GOODNESS I ALMOST FORGOT! The wedding was canceled for two months, and we had not yet broken up, I think it was just a sudden thing to cancel the wedding. He was telling how much he loved me and how he still wanted to be with me(and suddenly he was willing to move where I wanted) Blah blah *puke* Anyway, instead of visiting me for a weekend so we could really have a talk he wanted, he came to my hometown and F***ed my best friend. Someone I had confessed to her about things about him, who passed all of that to the groom. She was a bridesmaid. She also got mad at me for being a bad freind I wasn't there for her.
I am releived that my family took that step, but at the time, I felt like they didn't want me happy and they loved my sister more. But I get it now.
I think that is everything...
Relieved
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
embarrassed-maybe you're getting a surprise shower?
and also, not to sound greedy, but with no shopwer, you'll get more $ and gifts at the wedding, and showers can be expensive for the bridal party, maybe you'll get a really really nice present from them instead?
i feel for you. good luck with everything!
louiev
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
karma's a beeyatch, i guess.
my brother's fiance registered for $40,000 worth of sh.it. i didn't know that was even possible. and who gets fine china from bed bath and beyond? she also ordered a housefull of furniture from the pottery barn. she is clearly disturbed. we are not rich, there are 200 people invited to the wedding. she's normally a sensible girl. she also registered for ten each of $100, $50, and $25 gift cards. who registers for gift cards? and three comforter sets. they have a one bedroom condo. 40 martini glasses. they can fit all of 12 people into their one bdr condo. are they opening a catering business? no plans on a house soon, either. it's crazy to me.
louiev
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
To Embarrassed. Have you FH drop hints that you should have a shower so that you can experience the whole wedding thing.
evee
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
I'm sad because I'm getting married in four weeks, and no one is throwing me a wedding shower. It's not about the presents; I just want people to fawn over me and make me feel like a pretty, pretty princess. But because I'm the farthest thing from a princess, everyone figures it's not my "thing" and I'm shower-less. Boo hoo. :(
Embarrassed
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
I've been asking my FH for 2 months to just do ONE FREAKIN thing - to go get his tux measurements taken. He hasn't had to attend to any thing else - I've found the wedding site, DJ, caterer, reception hall, etc. etc etc. and this is the ONLY thing he has to go do for himself.
He also knows that his work is about to get really busy for the next few weeks - so does he take care of the da*n tux. Heck no - he says he's too busy but he still seems to have time to sit his a** on the couch every Saturday watching rental DVD's.
He's getting tired of me asking about it - I'M getting tired of it not getting done. SHESH!
(He's not that bad - but this really is making me nuts).
Tired of being Nagzilla
Monday, June 28, 2004
After the break up of a co-workers engagement, I've been asking around, & have heard some pretty good Groomzilla stories.
First, my co-worker: Ann got engaged shortly before I did, but not too much later, broke it off. She told me, though, not to feel bad about spreading my own joy around, it really was better for her that this was all done with. She'd been over for Thanksgiving dinner at her future inlaws place when her fiances Grandma came up to her & said "It's nice that you can wait until next year to get married. Last time, he had to marry her so quick. *HAD* to." Ann had no idea what she was talking about & asked her Fiance on the drive home about it. He got all defensive and replied "What do you think? My exwife was pregnant when we got married." Hello! Ann did not know he had an exwife, or a child! Turns out, the divorce had just gone through the day before he'd proposed, & he had not one child, but three! The wife & kids lived in another state, he visited them once a month, having told his wife this was the only way to make things work, it was cheaper for them to live there, him to work here, etc.... Even getting the divorce went on that theme, they'd pay soo much less taxes if they were divorced, but don't worry, you don't need any child support agreement or anything, bc nothing will really change, etc...Exwife had no clue about the new wife, it looked like he was just going to ditch her.His explanation to Ann: "Well, you never asked me if I had a wife or kids."
Asking around, I got some other stories:
My friend Gina's roomate, Ashley, was the MOH in her friend Juanita's wedding. The ceremony went off without a hitch, but as soon as the couple & brideal party were out in the hall way, the groom started freaking out about how slutty he thought the bridesmaids dresses were! Ashley admits they showed a little cleavage, but nothing she wouldn't show in front of the elderly, a nun, or the Pope. He demanded the bridesmaids all take the groomsmens coats & wear them for the remainder of the evening!
I have a few more, but this is getting rather long, so more later!
Equal Opportunity 'Zilla
Monday, June 28, 2004
My fiance wont spend a dime on our wedding...ok yeah he spent 150$ on the cake. Thats it! I'm paying for the rest by myself! FREAKIN SUCKS!
sick of cheap fiance
Sunday, June 27, 2004
When one of my cousins got married we were all so happy for her and it all started out going fine until about 2 weeks before the wedding. My daughter was supposed to be one of the 4 flower girls and I was supposed to be an attendant. I grew up with this cousin and we were like best friends so I told her I would pay for everything regarding me or my daughter. She was doing a pretty informal wedding so her only requirements were that attendants wear formal gowns in an ugly pink and flower girls would look like little fairy princesses. All the attendants got thier dresses from same place and we paid $200 for them. My daughter's dress I had to have custom made to match a picture my cousin decided was just perfect about a month before said event so I had to pay about $300 for that. Then I bought shoes/jewelery to match other attendants and misc stuff. Bridal shower comes and for whatever reason theme is cooking/recipes. Bride tells me all she wants is my recipe for these candies I make. I don't give this recipe out to anybody since it is like a fmaily heirloom to me but I decide to give it to her because I want to give her something I know she will love. I also go and buy her some misc utinsils and things that are needed to make the candy because it just makes sense and I can't just give her a recipe. On the day of the shower she opens my gift and says to her mother that she can't believe I gave her the secret recipe and I thought well im glad she is happy. Then she proceeds to tell everyone to come copy it down. I'm not too happy at this moment but I just shut up and smile. My cousin's brother's new girlfriend shows up drunk and late at shower and brings her 5 kids with her looking like they just came out of the dumpster and people are talking about her and it is ruining things for my cousin so I tell my daughter to ask the kids to go into an adjoining room with her and some other kids to play for awhile. The drunking girlfriend finally sits down and things et back to normal when my daughter comes out of the room crying becuase one of the drunken girlfriend's kids punched her and hit her because she didnt want to play something they did. I take my daughter to the hall to talk to her and comfort her and my cousin comes out and says can I talk to you? She then proceeds to tell me that drunken girlfriend does not like my daughter and if my daughter is in wedding then her 2 daughter's will not be, so would I understand if maybe my daughter doesn't be in the wedding now?!?! My daughter was so looking forward to this and the girlfriend has only been dating my cousin's brother for like a whole week, if that and none of us know her from before. I tell my cousin that I need to take my daughter home right now but to call me later on in the evening or tommorrow and we can talk then. She calls me up that night and says drunken girlfriend said at shower after I left that she doesn't like me either and if I was in wedding then she wouldn't come even and would possible break up with my cousin's boyfriend over it. I tell my cousin that is just dumb, her and I have known each other all our lives and she says well that I can't be in the wedding and niether can my daughter so maybe I don't even want to come anymore but I can drop off my gift for her at her house. I couldn't help it I told her to f* off and I won't talk to her still to this day. I told her mother that I would like to continue being friends if she appologized to me. That whole side of the family now never invites me to any fuctions (because my cousin is baby of family and she is mad at me so they are too). My cousin's brother and drunken girlfriend broke up at party after wedding and made a huge big ugly scene. After this whole ordeal I have decided that I never want to be part of a wedding party again!
Cousin of the bride
Saturday, June 26, 2004
My confession involves my annoyance over my brother and his new fiance's actions over the course of the months before my wedding. My brother and his girlfriend got engaged about four months after me and my FH got engaged. My wedding is two weeks from tomarrow. They suddenly announced two days ago that they would be getting married by a justice of the peace on friday (today). Me and my FH won't be able to participate in the celebration afterwards because we have a wedding shower being put on by people at my work that evening (it has been planned for months). When my brother told me about this on Wednesday, basically I told him that I felt sad that I wouldn't be able to participate fully in his wedding and is there any way to move the day to the next week. He told me to "quit bitching" and I hung up on him.
This is the only thing that has been overly stressful about my wedding so far. It has been smooth sailing, but this puts me over the top. I don't need this drama two weeks before my wedding. I don't even know the girl he's marrying. My first experience meeting her was at my grandmas funeral where I said, "It's nice to meet you, I wish it would have been a better circumstance," and she got offended! Over the past year since I found out he's moving out of state, Me and my FH have called him many times to hang out but we have gotten ZERO responses. (what a flake!) He also said that they would come to our batchelor/batchelorette party, but his girlfriend interupted him and told him that they had to go drinking with their friends. He said they'd come afterwards, but never called.
Well, I now have to get ready for their "wedding" which is in two and a half hours. I wish them the best of luck, however they are living in separate states for two years after april, and I know that long distance stuff is hard. ( I know I won't be keeping in contact with them considering how flakey they are!) Well, goodbye brother, it's been nice knowing you!
God bless!
"move it on over"
Friday, June 25, 2004
One of our guests (friend of HB) gave us a small watermelon for our wedding, which my in-laws ate while we were on our honeymoon!
Normally not picky but come on!
Thursday, June 24, 2004
My parents spent so much money on our wedding, including covering costs that my inlaws said they would take care of. My inlaws did nothing! All they paid for was the hall and the DJ, a whopping $1000 probably where we're from (small town) whereas my parents put out about 10+ times that much, plus we paid for some of the wedding. The inlaws didn't even get us a gift, and it was like pulling teeth to even get them to mail the freaking pictures they took. Cheepskates!!!
Hateroftheinlaws
Thursday, June 24, 2004
My MOH and a bridesmaid stiffed us.
No shower gift, no wedding gift.
Not even a card.
MIL and SIL spent a whopping combined $40 on a stupid wedding gift.
Cheapskates!
Aggravated!
Thursday, June 24, 2004
My MOH and a bridesmaid stiffed us.
No shower gift, no wedding gift.
Cheapass skanks..
Aggravated!
Thursday, June 24, 2004
On the other hand, Existential (and btw, marriage itself is by far *not* an existential concept) for many of us it isn't "all about me." For many of us, it's about us, our friends, and our family who support our marriage. In which case, I never minded stressing about how to help and honor the people in my life who were there for me. And I did stress about making sure they were taken care of, because they are honored people in my life and they deserve that recognition.
But to each their own!
CommunityGirl
Thursday, June 24, 2004
The Bridezilla in my life has required all of the attendants purchase $275 dresses (which we could never wear again), $50 shoes (basically, flip flops with rhinestones) and tried to dictate how we would wear our hair! Transportation is on us, we are expected to help decorate the hall and clean up after. She has been so gracious as to give us $5 jewelry to wear! We are not even allowed to invite anyone since she has too many guests as it is. She expected me to plan her honeymoon (past tense, I told the bitch NO!) and keeps having pre wedding events that include gift registry cards (hint, hint). She has an elaborate plan for a bachelorette party which includes her attendants paying for dinner, drinks, limo, hotel, etc... If you see her, shoot her on site! She is the large green thing in a veil!!!! HELP =<
Maid of Dishonor
Bay Area, CA Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Confessors all! Why is there such an obsession with having "attendants".... I got married in November last year, and had no BMs, MOHs, groomsmen, flower kids, page boys etc etc. It was about me the bride and my now husband the groom. I'm not saying it was all about having the focus on me (although secretly maybe that was part of the reason!) it was more just that I never understood what the purpose of having BMs etc are anyway?
From the sounds of other people's confessions, it sounds like the bigger the bridal party, the more stress and money it is. I've got friends who I could've asked to be BMs but really I thought they would enjoy my wedding much more if they could just turn up, have a few lovely drinks, eat delicious food and just relax and enjoy the happiness that our wedding was all about. And I was right. Why bother organising/paying for other people's dresses, shoes, makeup etc or stressing about asking them to organise/pay for it. It often turns out to be a complete drama for both them and you. It's your wedding, so make it about you!!!
Then it's much easier to stay in control.
Which leads me to my next tip: the more control you have about what you want, the more you'll enjoy your wedding. Take responsibility for the choices you make and don't be forced into them if that's not what you truly want. Your wedding day should be the fabulous, individual event you determine: whether it's a big glam hoo-ha or a simple tea party.
Your wedding should reflect who YOU are and the authentic choices you've made: It's an existential thing!
Existential Bride
Sydney, NSW Tuesday, June 22, 2004
On the day of my wedding, I told my mother that if she said one thing to upset me, I would smack her in the face. She was quiet the rest of the day. I am still convinced that she deserved it. My mother is a drama queen.
kay
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Oh crap... I feel terrible now. My bridesmaids are not well off and I have been blessed by their love and support through the whole wedding process. I have tried to ease their burdon any way I can. I've paid for their dresses and only asked that they buy shoes (and whichever ones they wanted at that - or use some they had). They gave me a lovely shower, which I didn't expect and truly appreciated. But there were two expenses that I told them were completely optional but I would like for them to try and swing. I thought that getting manis and pedis together a few days before would be fun and offered up my hair dresser's services to them as well (totally only if they wanted to). Now I told them I couldn't afford to cover their cost in these two things (as much as I would like to) and that they didn't need to use my hair dresser at all and could veto the manis and pedis if they wanted, but they seemed enthusiastic about both! Well, except for one bridesmaid and my Maid of Honor who said yes to the manis and pedis but couldn't afford the hair and/or make up. The one bridesmaid offered to do the Maid of Honor's hair as well as her own, but I didn't mention that possibility to the other girls because I thought they were all set.
Come to find out that one of them is borrowing money for the hair because even though she can't afford it she feels like she would be the only one without her hair done in the pictures. And I suspect the same might be true of the other. I feel terrible for making them feel like they have to come up with this money and wish I could take it back and ask the one bridesmaid to do their hair as well, but the money is already paid and the stylist won't refund it (per her contract)! I've already spent several hundred dollars on their dresses and gifts, but now I feel like I should at least try to come up with a couple hundred more to cover the manis and pedis but it's kind of too late for me to do that now!
I just feel terrible.....
Tried to Make it Easier and Failed
CO Tuesday, June 22, 2004
To Fed Up Bridesmaid Jr
Your story is one of several I have read where the bride actually expects the wedding party to come up with money other than for dresses and shoes for the wedding. I do not understand this and I am finding it extremely distasteful and just plain rude! Since when did the honor of being asked to be in a wedding have vast amounts of $$ attached to it?! I am getting married this fall. I am paying for my girls hair, and $75 for the dresses. They are responsible for the shoes but can be cheap at Payless. If someone wants such a fancy schmancy wedding that they cannot pay for the majortity of the expenses then TOO FING BAD! They dont get that wedding.
My advice to you is to state you will pay for $75 for the dress and $20 for the shoes and you are not paying for your hair and you are not getting your hair done at 6 in the morning! If she is unhappy then you tell her you are honored to have been asked but cannot afford it.
Reasonable Bride
Fort Collins, CO Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Just got married three weeks ago and it was wonderful.
During the entire wedding process, my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law were whiny, complainy, and exhuastingly unhelpful. Everyone else in our families really outdid themselves to make our wedding a success. At our rehearsal dinner, we gave thank-you gifts to all our family members to show our appreciation for all they had done for us.
I hated the thought of buying thank-you gifts for my MIL and GMIL, but my kindhearted sister convinced me that it would be the right thing to do - we could not snub them this way, in front of everyone they knew. So I did the right thing and bought them VERY nice presents, which I wrapped beautifully and presented to them at the party with hugs, kisses, and thanks (I thanked them for "love and support").
So they unwrapped the gifts, did not thank us or smile. They then ignored the gifts and even left them behind on the table when they left!
So, without telling them, I took the gifts back to the store and got a huge cash refund. They have not even noticed that they had gifts and no longer have them.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
GreedyGreedyBride
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
I lied to my future mother in law, who insisted that we invite all the children we're related to to the wedding. My Fiance & I didnt want anyone under 16 there, but she kept throwing hissy fits, & began telling her family to make sure the kids could come, bc "Kara really, really wants them all there". "That's just stupid. Of course you'll invite them.Don't be silly". (this from the woman who wasn't contributing a dime to the whole wedding. inviting all those kids would have bumped the guest list up a good 60 people)
My family is about as Russian as you can get, so we told her that children are never invited to weddings in Russia. It is an adult event, and therefore, children should not be there.We threw in that the same went for funerals, baptisms,etc... I took it a step further and said we weren't even sure we could get a Priest to marry us if there were any children there. My Mom agreed to burst into tears in front of her at the thought that no Priest would marry us, all bc of the "American glorification of enfants", and then rant off in Russian until his Mom was clearly mortified enough to cave.
The currant battle is over flowers. Maybe Russians are against the ugly, peach roses she wants, too...
Kara
Monday, June 21, 2004
slept with best man night before wedding
Sissy
Monday, June 21, 2004
I told my MOH to 'F off' during the reception...but honestly she deserved it...she acted like such a diva the whole day you would've thought it was her wedding day...her worst offense was at the reception...I had just arrived at the hotel where the reception was to be held, and was standing in the lobby with my new husband, surrounded by friends, family, and well-wishers. I was, as you can imagine, feeling very happy but also pretty overwhelmed. She came up and started yelling at me because there was not a "special" table for the wedding party to sit at (There were plenty of tables, but there wasn't one specifically marked for the wedding party). She also came up to me at one point and tearfully said, "I can't believe you're leaving me!" She was a nightmare and even though I've known her since childhood I really regret ever having asked her to be my MOH...I should've asked one of my sisters.
Blondie
Saturday, June 19, 2004
I screamed obscenities at my Mother while she was on the phone with the wedding cake designer.
Robin
Friday, June 18, 2004
The bridezilla demanded that we go to po-dunk Middle America and be at her shower. Then the bride demanded a gift she ended up returning. The bride then demanded we get our own transportation to the wedding and walk to the reception. Then the bride gave us thank you gifts. Our thank you, a candle that stinks, a basket that is broken, and note cards that are hideous. Never ever again.
Disappointed and Broke
Friday, June 18, 2004
Okay
Thnx for the laugh
Sue Ellen
Martha Stewart
cutie
I'm not real, you got me. I'm actually quite nice and definitly not a bridezilla. I just have the most boring job in the whole world and since I've read every single confession, I'm left with nothing to do. Sorry about the misrepresentation. I thought it was funny for a second in my "work haze".
Beeyatch
Friday, June 18, 2004
I told my dad I needed $5K for "wedding expenses" and used it to pay off credit card debt.
Kate
Thursday, June 17, 2004
I have to say I was very disappointed when my best became a monster and sorry to say, I acted very bad too. Here's my story about an ungrateful bride. She was my best friend before she got engaged and we were members of a gymnastics team. She abandoned the team because she was planning her wedding and for the lack of exercise, she gained some pounds and a terrible temper. At first I try to comprehend all the stress she was throuhgh, but soon it just became very hard to be near her. She yelled all the time even her own mother a very nice lady, her dress was very narrow and she couldn't get inside because of the weight she gained, when I told her to come back to the gym and do some exercise (just to relax and burn some calories I said) she slapped me in the head yelling B..CH! HOW DARE YOU TO TELL ME I'M FAT! GO AWAY NOW!. She was my partner in the team and I loved her as my best friend, but that was enough she was very abusive with everyone for weeks and I was tired, so I took a glass of water and trew the water to her face while saying YOU IDIOT I'M YOUR FRIEND, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND I WANT TO HELP YOU?. I felt very bad and went away. Her cousin came to see me the next day and he was hysterical but laughing, he told me at last Gloria had calmed down and realized how bad she was behaving. The wedding came and I wasn't there. I sent a gift and a letter telling her how bad I feel. The groom answered the letter and told me that she was ok and missed me just as much as I missed her.
So, three months later we were again in the gym, training again like old times. I'm very happy to have her again as friend but I still remember how I lost control and don't feel well. She's again a marvelous person.
Karla
Atlanta, Wednesday, June 16, 2004
My close friend is getting married mid July snd I am so ready to strangle her!!!!! I am one of 2 BM and her sis is MOH. The MOH is completely useless--she planned the shower but didn't want anything to do with planning bach. party since "she's too old for that." I am getting stuck with all the MOH duties and getting problem after ridiculous problem dropped in my F***ing lap when it should be dealt with by bride or MOH! Bride is planning wedding from 2 states away . . did I mention that?? The cost alone from this thing is killing me--I will personally shell out over a grand for my own expenses and gifts/parties, etc. from this event. Not to mention my own broke ass BF is a groomsman and I keep ending up loaning him $ to pay for his "duties" as part of the bridal party. The married couple to be (our friends) keeps bemoaning how much this wedding is costing them, without even considering how much it's costing all their friends! They decided to get engaged and get married all in a 6 mo. period and still expect a "fairy tale" wedding. Meanwhile, almost everyone in the wedding parties are still poor grad students, themselves. I love my friend, but am so tired of dealing with this damn wedding. It's all she ever talks about . . .ever! She used to be a normal intelligent girl and she's transformed into an egomaniacal FREAK!!!! And since all she ever talks about is the wedding, she inevitably wants me to picture my own "future wedding" with current BF and then turns around and tells her fiancee I am marriage obsessed and jealous of her! Fiancee in turn, repeats this to my BF and we get into huge fight over future together (marriage--realy quite a distant concept for me, but BRIDEZILLA has me painted out to be a co-dependent stalker of sorts!!!!)This ridiculous wedding is taking a toll on my relationship and my checkbook! Hopefully when that ring slips on her finger and she says "I do" she'll magically transform into the girl I knew and loved--instead of this crazy person who's possessed her!!!!
bezerkbride'sMAID
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Beeyatch, really now, how could you have the maid clean YOUR bathroom with the dress rags? If the dress was that bad, you should have had her clean the guest bathroom with it. Tsk tsk...
Martha Stewart
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Yeah, like Thnx, I think beeyatch is not a real person. A girl with common sense would never do something so idiotic.
Sue Ellen
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Relax cutie, there's no way Beeyatch is a real person posting a real story. That is totally tongue-in-cheek satire. It's just too much of a TV soap opera, cliche-bad-girl, over the top production to be real. And by the way Beeyatch, I think it's funny as hell. :) You should think about writing a novel based on this character, she's hysterical!
Thnx for the laugh
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
hey beeyatch-
you give all brides a bad name. I cannot believe you. YOU ARE SICK IN THE HEAD AND I HOPE YOUR FH LEAVES YOU
cutie
Monday, June 14, 2004
Jajajajajaja these confessions are amazing... a bride who can't be happy because she doesn't have a diamond necklace and takes revenge in a stupid way.... a bride who makes her bridesmaids wear ugly dresses because she's insecure about her beauty.... a bride who wants lots o money for the wedding....
I was married a year ago and my wedding was wonderful, I received a lot of presents that I didn't expect, everyone had a marvelous time... no bridesmaids, no groomsmen, informal, great and only cost 6,000.00 dlls.
And the most important of all... the man I love married me.
Lucky girl
Monday, June 14, 2004
I've finally decided on a wedding in a swanky hotel setting that will cost a fortune. My FH finally agreed on it since "I'll be the mother of his children some day" (those were his exact words). I still haven't told him that I got my tubes tied last year when he refused to buy me a 25 carat diamond necklace that I had my heart set on. I get so bitter when rich people withold money from me. I'm still bitter about the necklace.
I've decided that I won't be planning my wedding, so I've secretly hired a wedding planner that charges $500/hr. She's worked over 40 hours this week alone. Good thing my FH only checks his credit card statements once a year.
I thought this whole wedding would be so easy but I'm just such a stress case lately.
Does anyone know a good way to de-stress? Sex isn't working!!!
ughhhh
Beeyatch
Monday, June 14, 2004
Can totally relate wedding-gown-shop horrors. I only went shopping in one salon, and it was one of the worst shopping experiences I ever had. The saleperson was rude about my budget, brought me dresses that I couldn't begin to afford, and even went as far to tell me what kind of dress I should wear...I wanted a light blue summery short dress, and the bitch told me, "Hon, it's a wedding...you really should wear white..." later, "you really should wear a train..." (keep in mind that I got married on a lawn next to a pond...any part of the dress that was dragging on the ground would have been covered in grass stains and/or goose shit). Then the bitch had the nerve to ask me to register with the store so "they can keep me informed about special deals." Too bad I gave them a fake address and the phone number for a local pizza shop...
BeachBride
Sunday, June 13, 2004
I'm an australian bride (wedding date is 14th of August this year)who i must admit has been a bit misbehaved...
I never had a 'wedding dream'. Not even a 'dream dress' and thats where the problem started....
I am getting my bestfriend from highschool's father to officate and he is the pastor at my old highschool's chapel so i get to use that and a multipurpose classroom for the reception for FREE!!!(YAY!!)
The reception is a morning tea styled on an English High Tea (my FH is english) and everything is really simple. I absolutely LOVE all of that!! Oh and yeah i'm having cupcakes for my wedding cake..
The bits i have definately gone bridezilla about are the guest list and my attire...
The guest list is shocking... I don't want to invite every single person we know (FH and I only want like 50 ppl MAX!!!)How is it that people automatically think they are invited???? We are students and both doing most of this ourselves, yet people have bitched that we are not having attendants etc etc and why don't we wait to have a 'PROPER' wedding!!!!!!!!!
I chucked an absolute fit at the guy who said that (one of my FH's friends) and my FH now has to guard his friend against me!!
The dress, oh, the dress... I didn't have one picked till yesterday. I really had know idea what i wanted and hated every bridal store there was. We are spending AU$900 on the entire wedding???? Why would i want to spend more than that on the entire dress???? Every time a bridal store clerk asked me what my budget was and I said $300, they would look at me like i was an alien from space or tell me in a posh voice "You will never find anything here. Now please leave" ARGGHHHHH!!!! *kill kill*
I had quite a few massive fits at my FH about the fact the wedding should not go ahead cause i didn't know what to wear. I got all stressed and teary cause you need to give the 'store' at least one months notice and i had 2 months to the wedding left...
In the end, my FH took me down to my favourite store (which is a medieval dress stop with a lovely lady who loves making the dresses custom - for only like AU$10 more!!), and he basically said that because it's a small wedding i can wear what i want. He knows I've always wanted to buy a dress there, but never had the money to. Sooooo,
I've decided to wear a beautiful medieval dress in a deep dark red (the colour is called claret) with the long medieval sleeves and a square neckline, and because it's winter here when i get married, my FH suggested I put a hooded cloak over the top (they are sooo beautiful - thick velvet) so he allowed me to extend our budget AU$75 so i could get one of those too, in white!!! And then he bought a white pirate shirt so we go to together!!!!!
I am sooooo very happy now and once that major problem was fixed i am completely relaxed about the rest of the wedding... thankfully i have a problem fixing FH who knows me oh so well!!!
Oh, and the dress goes perfectly with my claddagh engagement ring (that's where he got the idea from!!)
Tabitha Kitten <email>
Saturday, June 12, 2004
I'm from Mexico and I have a big doubt: why does a bride make her bridesmaids clean up after the reception party? I have read many articles where evil brides treat bridesmaids as slaves and make them wear the most ugly dresses ever. Incredible!!!
Elena
Saturday, June 12, 2004
I decided on a garnet instead of a diamond for my engagement ring. No one recognizes it for an engagement ring. I toyed with the idea of getting a CZ put into it (like I said before we have been together for a long time and our incomes are joined) but then my FH, mother and brdiesmaid said don't, that it was nice not to see a diamond. I have now decided that the hell with it, once it is paired with the wedding ring, everyone will know.
evee
Saturday, June 12, 2004
To "Disgruntled Bridesmaid": Why on earth would you agree to spend 6 hours setting up the wedding site, and then spend even more time cleaning it up afterward? You're being a doormat and that makes no sense for anyone. I think a couple of hours of decorating might be reasonable, but absolutely no clean-up -- you're a bridesmaid, not the maid (who would be getting paid for that work). If this means you need to say you can't be a bridesmaid anymore, you would actually be doing the bride a favor -- she needs to learn limits.
Long-time Married
Friday, June 11, 2004
One of my bridesmaids is in dire straits and can't afford a whole lot on a dress she'll probably wear only once for the wedding. I've taken a casual approach to the girls buying their dresses--they have to be one of two colors, floor length and appropriate. That's it! I understood early in the game that I would probably have to purchase this particular bridesmaid's dress. We went shopping in January with the other girls to get ideas and she fell in love with one particular $200 gown that did look very good on her. Fortunately she found the same dress at another store on clearance for $70. I didn't have the money at the moment to buy it (hey, I'm paying for a wedding here) so I suggested looking at something else. It is now June and the wedding is October 1st. She still doesn't have a dress or the money to buy one and she insists that if we go back to that store, that dress will be there with a cheaper price! And it doesn't seem like she's going to budge! Clearance is clearance, especially at a department store, and they aren't keeping a clearance dress in stock for 6 months! The other bridesmaids feel she's being difficult; I'm being nice and calling it 'unrealistic.' So yesterday I went and bought her a gown online in the same style that she likes and the same colors as the other girls. It only set me back $30 for a dress originally $189!!! I don't plan on telling her till crunch time and she still doesn't have a dress. I'm going to bring it out and say 'How about this?' She really won't have a choice either way. I'm told I'm being 'safe' but not telling her I bought a dress makes me feel bridezilla-like.
Soon 2B Mrs. Martin
Friday, June 11, 2004
Oh yes I almost forgot. My FMIL bought me an $8000 wedding dress that I hated (well not really, I just wanted to be difficult) so I had it cut into shreds. I then gave it to my maid and told her to clean the bathrooms with it
Beeyatch
Friday, June 11, 2004
I'm marrying for money. I don't even have to work. I'm mean and have to have the perfect wedding even though secretly I couldn't care less about the wedding. All I care about is the marriage of our assets. I've also convinced my FH that a prenup is insulting and even cried until he felt bad and apologized for even bringing it up. oh and I have a boyfriend as well who comes over while my FH is at work and we do it in my FH's bed
Beeyatch
Friday, June 11, 2004
oh and I feel terrible for being mad at his cousin who will be having a baby 1 month after we get married. She got married last year in November and is already pregnant. She had her time in the spotlight, let me have some. They were only together for 2 years, I have been hanging around waiting for 8.
evee
Thursday, June 10, 2004
I am afraid that I am being too cheap. I have been with my FH for 7 years, it will be 8+ when we get married on October. I have planned a cocktail wedding reception for about 80 people, I am secretly hoping that it will not cost more than $35 pp I would like the wedding to be no more than $6000. My reason: We have been together for so long (and we have a house) that to have a big splash out would look stupid. I don't want to spend a lot of money on one day but I am worried that people will think that we cheaped out by not having a dinner.
evee
Thursday, June 10, 2004
My fiance is driving me nuts!!! He is too involved in the mediocre details! ACK! I think he thinks that I'm going to spend crazy amounts of money on silly things...which I won't. I'm a money-saavy girl. He has no idea what things cost, and he wants a say in everything! We split up responsibilities of things to plan, and all he does is harp me about the ones I haven't done yet! He has just as much left on his list. And he wants a say in our cookware and china patterns. Boys aren't supposed to be interested in china patterns!!! Let me pick out my own damn china pattern!
He complained that "$180 is an awful lot for a dress" when I told his sister about the BM dresses I picked out. (!) And I want simple invitations...but he keeps talking about the complicated invites with vellum and ribbon....ARGH!!!
...heh heh heh...if only he knew that my dress cost $4000.... :)
Bride of Groomzilla
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Why we feel she is bridezilla:
#1- So far Ive spent over $600 on my dress, shoes, mandatory accessories, hair appointment, hotel accommodations, shower gifts (there were 2) and shower contributions. This does not count the wedding present.
#2- Her attitude is so snobby and selfish, that I have to wonder what her marriage is going to be like. I am newlywed myself and I understand bridal stress, but she has gotten way out of hand. She is a spoiled-rotten brat.
#3- Although no expense was sparred on her dress, the cake, the decorations, honeymoon, or the food, she didnt bother to put aside money for hired help. The bridal party is expected to spend 6 hours (on the day of the wedding) setting up and decorating EVERYTHING, inside and out, and there is no air conditioning.
#4- After the bridal party finishes setting up for 6 hours, we have only one hour to shower, do makeup and report back to the field for pictures. Forget taking a break or grabbing some lunch!
#5- Once the reception ends, the bridal party is expected to clean up EVERYTHING and undecorate the ceremony and reception sites.
I am SO dreading this wedding. I will never forget how unattrative the bride is on the inside.
Disgruntled Bridesmaid
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
My FMIL is really crazy about having a traditional wedding complete with all the tacky extras like, Tierred wedding cake, white limo, baloons you name it. I hate hate hate tacky, I just want a simple wedding with nice spring colors and I don't have much money so a big glam wedding will just look super tacky. My FMIL already basically has the whole wedding planned so instead of freaking out, which I fear is moments away, I've decided to start assigning her "special tasks". She is so excited to actually be part of the wedding planning that she doesn't even realize that calling wedding halls and asking for prices to write down for me is absolutly stuff that I don't want to do. This way, I still get to pick everything I want, and she's to busy to PLAN
Sara
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
My best friend, Kara, started dating Keith a year after I started dating Josh. She knew Josh and I were planning on getting engaged in 3 months, and planning to marry 6 months after that (sentimental reasons for those particular dates). To my shock & surprise, 2 days before she knows Josh is going to propose to me, she annouces that Keith has proposed! Not a big deal to me, but when I then get engaged 2 days later, she got mad! She kept huffing around, throughing hissy fits, & finally told a mutual friend that she "hated me for stealing her spot light *on purpse*" Josh & I had always planned to get married on August 15... so guess who set hers for August 16 the minute she got engaged. Such scenarios continued on and on, to the point where Kara demanded that I call off not only my wedding, but also the whole engagement, seeing as I had "only done it to upstage her" I refused, she burst into tears saying that I hated her, and there was no good reason for me to be so stubborn, especially seeing as she'd gotten engaged first, and had been planning on that date "forever" (umm.... you mean the 3 months you'd known Keith?) When she wasnt out right attacking me with her complaints, she was whiney, huffy, & snarly.
It should come as no surprise that when a man is pushed into an engagement as Keith seemingly was, it's not so likely to make it. He broke it off only 2 months in (4 months before the wedding). Kara then demanded that I cancel my wedding again. How could I dream of marriage when the love of her life had just abandoned her (possibly, as she hinted, due in part the to wedding stress I'd added with being so competitive.) Again, I refused. She cried, & refused to come to my wedding.
All this from a formerly very sane girl....
Leah
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Well, my fiancee and I are fooling the family. We wanted a simple, private, affordable wedding, but our familes are making a huge production out of it. I also didn't want to say my most intimate, loving thoughts to my finacee in front of everyone (mother has invited everyone from her gardener to the pool guy) So, we called a reverend last night and arranged to meet him in a park next Thursday evening at 7pm. I'm wearing a short white cotton sundress with sandals (we live in the desert in CA), there will be no witnesses except our dog, we will say our vows to each other next to a tree and a lake, and then go out to dinner.
No one even knows about it. We are planning on still having the big ovedone wedding with our families in September, and I'm about to call my mom and tell her that I've finally given in to her martha stewart wedding ideas. I won't care - we'll already be married so let her plan to her hearts consent.
off the beaten path
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
I actually said, on more than one occasion, (after saying that I never would)"I'm the bride." As in, "I'm the bride, it's my wedding, it's all about me." (Just healthy bridal narrcissim, I've been told)! I didn't have anyone beheaded, but other than that I was the total Queen. I was a Princess Bridal Barbie Bride and my greatest pleasure (this goes beyond honest confession) was being told that I looked like a Barbie doll. In my defense, I did not always have very good (read: any) self-esteem), so like many women, being a Bride was really my revenge. I do not wish to take anything back because I was not verbally abusive. In the end, I had a fairy tale, perfect wedding that I will never forget. Now I am working on being a Wife. (That is a whole other Ohpra). Thank you for this confessional and bless you.
Older Bride
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Fed up Bridesmaid? I feel your pain. I am in a wedding on Saturday, and the bride has called me already 8 times this week (It's Tuesday!!!!) reminding me that the rehearsal is at 5:00 on Friday night. And I should probably be there about 10 of 5:00. As if I have never been a bridesmaid before - and as if I have ever been late for anything!!! I have been nothing but dependent and done everything she has asked us to do!!! I have spent oodles of money on the dress, shoes (don't even get me started there!) shower, bachelorette party, gift, etc. and now she changed her mind and she won't be paying for our hair. (After she told us all along she was going to pay and left us all hanging 2 weeks before the wedding trying to make other arrangements and sqeeze appointments into our own beautificians) She needs something else to do - Get a hobby!
There's more, but it will have to be posted another time. . .
T minus 3 days and counting. . .
Fed Up Bridesmaid Jr.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
I hate most of my bridesmaids!!!!!!!! oh and his entire family too
"red"
Monday, June 07, 2004
To Over-Protectors: "When will people realize that they dont have a say in other peoples relationships?" When you stop letting them have their say. You changed the wedding date, even though you are already old enough to marry and have been with your fiance for 3 years. By changing the date, you sent a signal to FMIL that all she has to do is complain and she will get her way. I for one would never have put off my wedding for 2 whole years. You would be perfectly justified in scheduling the wedding in 2005 and letting the chips fall where they may. I could understand not scheduling another Caribbean wedding, because if the cousin is doing it, it loses its special nature, but other than that, you and your fiance should be planning and scheduling the wedding you want. Be very nice to future in-laws ("We know this isn't the date you would have chosen, but we hope you'll be there. Oh, you can't be? Well, we're sorry. We will miss you.") It's better to let everyone know up front that you and your fiance make the decisions and don't succumb to guilt pressure -- always be very nice, but be firm. If you can't do this, one might think that you aren't old enough to be married. I don't want that to sound mean, but as an adult, you have to be able to stand your ground on a variety of things.
Long-time Married
Monday, June 07, 2004
I'm making my MOH and two bridesmaids decide what to wear on their own because I don't want to have to make one more decision (or referee anything else). The three of them are in different cities, and one's having a baby this week.
I told them the only criteria is it has to be (or have in it) light green and be something they'll wear again (I hate wasting money).
I REFUSE to get involved on this one because I (secretly I hope) don't care what they look like on the big day.
Evil Bride
Monday, June 07, 2004
I am a bridesmaid in a wedding scheduled for the fall. This is the first of my friends to get married, and, in my opinion, they're going all out. Well, she is going all out. If I even talk to her in general, we only end up speaking about the wedding, and most if it is about wedding costs. How they're going to go into debt, and his family isn't giving enough, and how they can't afford a honeymoon. I should not be privy to this information, and hearing her talk about it makes me just sad over how greedy she sounds.
I can barely hold my tongue, because if they weren't trying to have the wedding of the century, they could go on a honeymoon. Which I think is way more important than spending four hours with 150 of your "closest" friends and family, only so that they can give you expensive presents.
Now, when I originally thought I would only be involved in the wedding rehearsal and wedding day, it turns out I may have to attend and contribute money to both an out of state shower and an out of state bachelorette party (the bride and I both live in state, the maid of honor wants the shower and party out of state).
Exactly how much money am I expected to spend on this?
Oh, and she assures us that we will be able to wear the bridesmaid's dresses again (a friend of my mine said they look like something from Beetlejuice). And we get to pick our own shoes, but they have to fall under specific requirements, so she might as well have just picked them anyway. And the dresses weren't ordered at the same time, but we had to get them separately on our own, so there was no reduced group rate for the cost. And we all have to get out hair done the exact same way at 6 am on the day of the wedding.
I don't think I can stand four more months of this.
Fed up bridesmaid
Sunday, June 06, 2004
One more thing...we found out they didn't even get engaged until Christmas 2003!!! but set a date when they found out we were getting married......how rude is that....I figure we were engaged first so isn't it only fair that we get to set our date first???
Over Protectors
Calgary, Friday, June 04, 2004
Update -
Now his mother expects us to fly home this summer for his cousin's wedding shower (Get a grip ....it's a freaking shower - Normal showers don't involve large outdoor rental tents....they are tradtionally in the living room of a friend or family member) that will be about 8 or 9 months before the Dominican wedding......then come home again for Christmas and then about four months later fly to Dominican for their wedding???? That about $6,000 just for flights alone not including spending money. I guess it wasn't enough that we postponed a year to accomodate her needs. People are becoming more unappreciative....and the she's been married and has kids crap stilll hasn't let up....Oh I'm sorry because I have been married before means I don't deserve happiness too??? Oh that's right ....I do deserve it but apparently not with her sonh.
Over Protectors!
Calgary, Friday, June 04, 2004
This year after having been with my intended for three years we were engaged on my 29th birthday. (Down on one knee and the whole nine yards) I have two daughters from my first marriage and my fiance is only 25. Needless to say I was too young the first time around and didnt know what I wanted. I made a mistake, we've all done things we regret. Both of my girls adore him very much and we are both very much in love. We set a date for April 2005 to give us plenty of time for planning. Well needless to say my FMIL and my grooms cousin ALL OF A SUDDEN announce to us that his cousin had already planned on getting married at the same time as us. (No one told us that they had supposedly set this date before us until after we had set ours and gotten all excited about having set a date) Some of them (his side of the family) even had the nerve to say that I pressured him into proposing and assuming that it was all my doing. We are on the West Coast and they are on the East Coast and plan on having their wedding in the Caribbean. We were going to have ours in Caribbean as well (Something we had planned on for years. I have been informed that WE should postpone OUR wedding since his side of the family wont be able to afford to go to two weddings at the same time. So basically they are saying that his cousins wedding is more important and she should get to have hers first. (No double wedding I dont even know this girl..happy for her but dont know her) She is in her early twenties and has plenty of time.even if we got married in 2005 that would make me 31 and him 27 (I was also asked by his side of the family Why are you rushing? When at the time of our wedding we will have been together for 5 years..still not sure how that is rushing) They were all acting like we were getting married the next day or something. The fact that I have two children seems to make them think that I dont deserve the same happiness as everyone else.(They do.just not with their son) (They say Oh nothing against you..well yes it is against me because they dont think I am good enough for their son for reasons that are not valid) They have it in their head that because I have been married before that something must be wrong with me and ASSUME that I would have been the cause for my first marriage breaking up. (I was too young wasnt ready..the only reason I got married in the first place is because my uptight old school mother didnt want me living in sin anymore.. and in a big hurry to get out of my parents house end of story) I did finally get to meet them and his parents are not so bad. (Although some things that were mentioned to her in confidence by my fiancé ended up being spread around his family in order to make me look bad.I know this because it got back to me) It just seems that everyone has an opinion about me, my children, my previous relationship and cant even say it to my face. (I hear about the comments afterwards from my fiancé) (They live with their father we have decided together as parents that its best for them to live with us fifty fifty starting in March 2004 Something that my fiancé is totally fine with, but because they dont live with me his family assumes some how I must be a bad mother or that he was given custody for a reason If they had of asked they would know that I have custody and they only went to live with him until I finished college as was back on my feet) These people dont even know me yet all seem to think they know what Im all about. God forbid they would just want their son/cousin/grandson to be happy. Needless to say we have been gracious enough to POSTPONE OUR WEDDING so that his cousin can have her day in the spotlight, until June 2006. Did we get a thank you? NO - Did we get a Gee that was nice of you? NO. So now that we have postponed our wedding and changed the location to avoid looking like a copycat Do I think this will guarantee that my FMIL side of the family will attend the wedding? NOT BLOODY LIKELY. I highly doubt they will come at all and we will have postponed our wedding for no reason at all. I wanted to do it up right this time and have a proper traditional wedding. These people refuse to let him live his own life and all seem to think that they know what is best for him. Did they ever think that hes a big boy now and can live his own life!! Its not like we dont have our s*** together. We both have good stable jobs and are ready to get on with the next stage of our life together. So now we have reset the date for June 2006. We refuse to change the date anymore. We are getting to the point now that we want to elope because of all of the pressure and bitching from his side of the family (My mom said congratulations and nothing elseshe just wants me to be happy) When will people realize that they dont have a say in other peoples relationships.they think they do..but they dontall it does is alienate their son/daughter from them. I am not some one that he needs protecting from!!
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Over Protectors <email>
Calgary, Friday, June 04, 2004
On my bridal registry I am requesting multiples (that I don't want/need) of some items that are less pricey so I can later exchange some of them for one or two of the more high dollar items we will need - and still appear to have the original gift hanging around the house (in case the giver asks about it).
Evil conniving and greedy. But practical!
Won't say - no way!
Thursday, June 03, 2004
I am in love and we're getting married. Problem? I'm a poor grad student and my folks have no money for a big do. I admit I've got pride issues about it. My fiancé is from a well-off family and has NO idea that every one of his equally well-off friend's weddings cost $20,000 plus. But what he DOES seem to "know" is that having a wedding with anything less than what he's grown to expect from the weddings in his family's circle of wealthy friends would be shamefully cheap. <>
That means no alternate (and less expensive) time or day of the week for the wedding, a "Modern Bride" venue, stuffing people to the gills with food that is not just nice and tasty, but worthy of a cover story in Bon Appetite and exquisitely matched wines (it's not an intimate dinner party, it's a wedding. As long as the food doesn't suck and there's plenty of it, no one REMEMBERS what they ate!!) Did I already mention that he has NO idea what the above costs but expects all of the above to happen for at least 150 people and under $10,000? Every time I try to find a venue that suits both of us, I get the answer of "WHAT?? It costs HOW much???" I'm inventive, a great planner, a good negotiator and by no means a princess (my life's had too much non-optional reality to allow for princess-ing opportunities) but HIS bridezilla tendencies are driving me mad!! To stay under his budget, it's going to take everything I've got (arranging the damn flowers, baking my own cake, sewing my own dress) and I am getting really pissed at the mental image of our wedding day- Him strolling up to the church all relaxed after a game of golf, while I dash from the reception hall where I've just decorated the tables to yank my dress over my head while giving orders to the caterer on my cell phone. I'd rather elope- but he's a cherished only child/grandson and I adore his folks too much to deprive them of being there. He'd happily wait a few more years to get married, but I'm 35 and we want a family. (later) Okay- I just stopped and read all of the above and realized how screwed up it all is. That's it. I'm going to hand HIM all the caterer and venue brochures and tell him that I'll take care of planning the ceremony and HE can cope with the reception- then he can squawk about the prices to HIMSELF! HAH!
Grrrr
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Actualy I was an anti-bride. I pretty much felt that marriage was not anything I wanted in my life. I had been living with my BF for almost a year and a half. He felt the same way I did about getting married. However, one morning I woke up crying and was unable to stopmuntil I called my mom collect from a pay phone at Foothill College and between arguing with my teenage brother and dealing with my seven-year-old brother who had just peed his pants whe told me that I needed to get married and I immediately stopped crying. I took that as a sign that I truly would feel better if I made a serious committment, That evening I told the BF that I would marry him and he seemed happy that I had made that decision. When I went back to the Midwest to visit my family for Christmas I told my mom that we would indeed get married. She immediately got into wedding planning mode in spite of the fact that she was already busy with all kinds of holiday activities. I told her exactly what I wanted. I had planned my weddong when I was five. (My mom had bought beautiful flannel blankets for m sister and me. They were white with flowers printed on them. I had never seen anything so beautiful. Bachelo Buttons, Red Clover, Brown-eyed Susans and daisies. That would be my wedding bouquet. My wedding would be officiated by my uncle. It would be outside. I would embroider those fowers on my wedding dress.)
My mom and my sister both pitched in and helped with the plans. We bought the material for my dress -unbleached muslin. My sister told us about an outdoor chapel in a wooded area (it was called Chapel in the Pines at a Christian conference center located on the lake where my family owned a cottage (the Center had once served as an internment center for SS officers in WWII)) I had wanted to have a potluck at the cottage but my mom felt that an actual reception would be more appropriate. My sister recommended a place that my mom and I agreed on. My mom also conceded to have a barbecue at our cottage after the wedding. At that time it was considered cool to make up our own vows. Neither of us had our vows ready until the day before, which had my mom stressing. I finished embroidering my dress the day before as well. Even though I had not initially been keen on entering into the institution of marriage, it was a great day and a great party and every day I feel grateful for my marriage and my resulting children. I do feel, though that the traditional vows are much more significant than the ones we composed and often I recite the vows to myself, wishing that I had said them ot my husband on our wedding day.
moi
Saturday, May 29, 2004
My wedding was perfect. It was a second wedding for both of us. Between us we have 5 kids. I bought my dress out of a catalog, it was a tunic type so no alterations needed. I had several different types of flowers with basic ideas of what I wanted, I let the florist have creative control. My 2 daughters gave me away. My maid of honor and teenage stepdaughter wore nice dresses that they picked out. The dresses for the 3 little girls I had made for the cost of one bought and altered at the store. I had the girls hair and mine done at a salon the morning of the wedding. We had our reception at a great campy Italian restaurant. I had coloring books, crayons, and disposable cameras for the kids to play with. Fifty people were relaxed, ate well, drank well, and had a wonderful time. All of this for under $3,000.
I think the only time I turned Bridezilla was when I would ask my FH his opinion on something and he would tell me I could have whatever I wanted. What I wanted was his opinion, it was his wedding as well!
Raven
Friday, May 28, 2004
Ok, so my wedding is 2 weeks away. However, luckily I am not stressed. I just figured out that it is not worth worrying about, after all it is only one day in the rest of my life. My dress isin't done yet, Mom has been really busy, but I have faith that it will be done on time. Oh and shoes? 18$ from a department store. There will be hordes of kids there so we have childrens activities planned. After all isin't marriage about being with the person you want to start a family with? Anyway, what will happen will happen, and I for one am going to roll with the punches. The day may not be planned to the minute detail, but it will be perfect because I will be surrounded by those I love.
But I still feel bad that I am not more into the activities around the "big day". Is there something inherently wrong with my bridal gene?
Hippy Bride
Peoria, IL Thursday, May 27, 2004
My wedding is in 30 days. Here's why I Think I'm becoming Bridezilla:
1. NO KIDS! I dislike them and don't want them anywhere near the wedding or reception. I don't care if they are my fiance's nephews or not.
2. I blew off my mom on Mother's Day because when I went to visit her that weekend, she did nothing but make me feel bad about getting married. Seriously. You'd think I am the worst woman in the world. But I am 23, work a respectable 9-5 job, and go to law school at night. Yet she continues to treat me like a child and cry about how I am going to abandon her after the wedding. The sad thing is, if she keeps this up, I am never speaking to her again after the wedding.
3. I no longer do actual work at the aforementioned 9-5. My days in the office are now spent calling vendors & surfing bridal websites.
4. I am stressed. I was fine. I just became stressed this week. As a result, I have picked a fight with my poor fiance every night this week.
5. The only time I ever talk to my dad is to tell him I need yet another check for alterations/ invitations/ tanning.
Elven Princess
Thursday, May 27, 2004
I got married five years ago.
I wore a black sparkly wedding dress and silvery shoes. My matron of honor got to wear whatever she wanted, which didn't match my dress but who cares. She looked her best, which was more important.
We invited 50 people. Most of them came. We had a couple of people invite themselves. We didn't treat them like lepers and they had a good time, too. Even the ones we laughed about like the married guy bringing his girlfriend or the woman who is never without a paid escort. Look at the not-so-beautiful people as examples of what not to do in your own marriage.
"Misbehavior" or imperfection at your wedding usually isn't a personal affront to you. People do screwy things just because they're screwy. Take people as they are.
If it is personal, it shows a lot more class to ignore it than it does to throw a fit about it, or hold a grudge for years. Who's getting satisfaction out of it then? Not you. They got you! They win! So don't let them.
We didn't register anywhere. I didn't compare the value of the gifts we got to the price of a plate at the reception. I didn't make a list of what we got from whom, but I'm quite sure some people didn't bring any gift at all! It didn't matter. Some of the nicest gifts were not expensive at all, but they were obviously the product of a lot of thought. My favorite gift was made of styrofoam drawn on with a marker and is in a place of prominence in our house today.
We didn't have real champagne ourselves, because my husband doesn't drink, but we provided a full bar for our guests. Why should they suffer?
We encouraged people to bring their children. Most didn't because it was an evening wedding, but the ones that did were just fine. Not perfect little silent manikins. Just normal good kids.
The photographer was a friend, but we paid him a normal fee anyway. The caterer was a friend but we paid her her normal fee anyway. Why put your friends in the position of losing money just because they're working for you? That's not friendship. They'll go the extra mile for you if you don't try to take advantage.
The musicians were friends, but we paid them anyway. I should say we tried, because they wouldn't all take the money.
Minor confession: I didn't arrange for the flowers until less than three weeks before the wedding. I got a recommendation to an individual who works out of her home. We spent about an hour with my budget in mind, looking through flower books to figure out what kinds of flowers to use. We talked about the general shape of the bouquet and how many of what kind of other arrangements to get. The rest was in her hands. If any of the flowers turned out not to be available when she went to get them, she was free to make substitutions. I trusted her artistic sense, and she came through beautifully.
My advice to all potential bridezillas is: relax, relax, relax. When you read those bridal magazines, just take what you need and leave the rest. The wedding should reflect the people getting married and the people they love, not some salesman's dream of how much you can spend. (Unless that's what you're all about, in which case, go for it. It'll be clear to everyone just what you value most.)
It's not a competition. It's not the most important day of your life. Do you really think all the future days of your marriage will be less important? What about the day your first child is born, or the day you realize you can really trust him and let him see you without makeup, or the day you realize you love him more than you did when you said, "I do"?
Five Years Later
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
I am getting married in 2/05- 20 people only, pink silk suit, wedding luncheon at a fine French restaurant, no BM's, emphasis on our vows, music, lovely flowers, but especially being together and sharing this time with the people we love the most. All for under $2000- I am very happy!!!
simplly wonderful
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Ok here it is...out of 6 bridesmaids only 3 have even shown a decent interest in my wedding. The thing is I am the "last" to get married and it just seems like everyone is not interested since they have all done it before. I have one out of state bridesmaid who doesn't even return my phone calls or e-mails. I have NO idea if she even got the information about ordering her dress (deadline is June 11)
It just annoys me because I was there for ALL of them for their weddings. My MOH is the worst of them all I wish I would have chosen a different BM to be MOH but now I am stuck.
In a way I feel justified for being annoyed that my BM's haven't really been supportive but maybe I am just a bridezilla. Oh well.
December Bride
IL Tuesday, May 25, 2004
I didn't mean to be a Bridezilla, but I have become one. We are having a hairstylist come and do all the bridesmaids' hair on the wedding day. In an effort to NOT be a bridezilla, we decided to let each woman decide for herself if she wanted to be "done" or if she preferred to do her own hair, AND we are paying the stylist's fee if they do. Sounds thoughtful and nice, no? Well, since there are so many people scheduled now to get their hair done, we decided that the stylist is going to tie up everyone's hair in curling rags the night before, then style them the morning of. But somehow it's turned into that the stylist is going to come to the rehearsal dinner the night before and we will all stay an extra hour and get the curls put in. This means that somehow, I have ended up making my dearest friends walk out of an upscale restuarant and through a packed part of a major city on a Friday night with knotted rags all over their heads. Thoughtful and nice, huh ...
BadBride
Monday, May 24, 2004
I'm about 5 days away from getting married, and I really don't like any of that tacky, tulle everywhere and paper bells stuff. I've grown to like my "too-traditional-for-me" silver and ivory dress. I would've gone for that beautiful red and ivory dress if it wasn't for my darling mother standing behind me telling the pros and cons of having a non-tradional red dress. Like having to deal with the whole guests asking "Why the hell is she wearing red?" or grand-ma crying her eyeballs out because I didn't opt out for a plain boring white. So well, on that, I decided to go for as untraditional as I possibly could, without having to cope with the numerous headaches from the thousands of questions my family would have. At this point, when about half the things I wanted to do for the wedding have gone wrong, and I wasn't able to do any of them, because of lack of time, and when really all I wanna do is sleep through the wedding and wake up on my honeymoon, I wish I would've elope. So does my fiance. but what the heck do you do when you're 5 days away from getting married, and all the relatives are coming from another country? Everyone keeps telling me that this day is supose to be "all-about-me!" and I mainly take it as an insult... isn't this day supose to be all about my future husband and I vowing ourselves to one another for life? that's what I thought too. I'm sick of people saying "it's your day! do whatever you want!" if it really was my day, I would've gone back to my country, gotten married on a roof top with no one but my fiance, I and the minister, and I would've been wearing some kind of cool red or purple 60's retro dress. And has anyone ever wondered why the hell everything has to be white at a wedding? I doubt it's about being pure, not many people are these days and everyone knows that, and if it was, shouldn't the groom also be wearing white?
indie-bride
indie-bride <email>
Raleigh, NC Sunday, May 23, 2004
Oh - another thing. My mother actually left a message on my voicemail telling me to not conceive a child until November so that it would be born in the Summertime when she's on break(she's a schoolteacher).
Seriously. Imagine your own overbearing mother, in that motherly tone of voice, telling you to inform your husband to be to impregnate you only on her schedule. Ahhhhh!!
Considering_Eloping
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
OK. I am getting married on Sept. 25, 2004. We were engaged on December 27, 2003, and I moved into his house shortly thereafter. I have become a Bridezilla only in the last week. All the details are driving me crazy. I can't decide on anything. The only thing we have done is booked the wedding/reception hall. I have not hired the DJ, photographer, caterer, florist...I have no idea what I want my centerpieces to look like, where we are going on our honeymoon, and hell, I haven't even ordered my dress yet. I might end up renting one. I own every bridal magazine published and can never make my mind up. I am starting to panic. And the sad part is, my fiancee is such a great guy, and WANTS to be FULLY involved in all the plans - when we booked the spot for the reception, HE took off work early to take them the deposit. He's the one co-ordinating the rehearsal dinner with his mother. He already knows (and is excited about) what suits/tuxes he and his groomsmen will be wearing. All I've done is bought 5 yards of tulle when I had an inspirational moment and thought I was going to make my veil. (The tulle has become a wrinkled tangled pile of netting at the bottom of my closet)He even bought my wedding shoes, after he saw me gushing over a pair, and surprised me with them. (They are actually quite gorgeous AND the right size!) So, now, with the fact that we have at least 200 people to invite who live all over the country and 4 months to the big day, I am panicing. I actually LOST it in Michael's craft store yesterday - I was looking at silk flowers (to save on the cost of fresh) and all of a sudden I had this feeling of being overwhelmed and left the store crying and all flustered and then I had the nerve to go to the Michael's website and make a complaint about the store not being user-friendly. His mother (she is actually a very sweet woman, not a nightmare FMIL) is going all out for the rehearsal dinner too. She is renting a huge tent and having all this food catered and tables and chairs rented and insists on having my ENTIRE large, very LOUD country-ghetto family in her house. I've warned her, but she says if they are related to me, then they must be OK and not to worry. Oh, and I have a couple of uncles and great-uncles who are very old-school, and they have made it known publicly that they are not entirely happy with the fact that my fiancee is Caucasian (I'm black.) I figure, if his family has accepted and loved me like a daughter, why can't MY family accept it??? Its 2004!! OH...and don't even get me started on my crazy mother. She lives in Texas, we are in California, and she is not contributing a penny (which is fine, we can luckily afford most of it ourselves), but insists on telling us how to have OUR wedding. I am 27, my fiancee is 32; I think we can make our own decisions on OUR wedding. She has never been happy with our color choices, what design I suggested for bridesmaids dresses, she does not understand why we are getting married in the evening and she SWEARS she has never heard of anyone having a rehearsal dinner and thinks HIS mom is nuts and trying to out-do her. And she even had the audacity to tell me that I'd better not wear a pure white dress, because she knows I'm not a virgin. Every time I talk to her, I just want to pull my hair out. I think she is the reason I can't decide on anything, cuzz if I pick wrong, I'll have to hear it for DAYS
Considering_Eloping
CA Wednesday, May 19, 2004
i have been engaged for forty eight hours.
my mother called me at work to ask what kind of flowers i wanted for the pews. and she mentioned that aunt pat can't eat fish so am I going to have a vegeterian option, too? then she called me later.
I don't know if i want all this crap let alone if I want irises or stephanotis!!!!
mmmmrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhh, i am going to kill them all by august 05 if this is what it is like right now
m(r)s. next year
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Just got married on Saturday--WHAT IS UP WITH THE STUPID GLASS-CLINKING? I hadn't eaten all day, hubby and I were just trying to enjoy the food, and we couldn't even do that 'cause people keep clinking the damn glasses. Not to mention the times that it happened while we were talking to friends who we haven't seen in more than a year, AND when we were talking to one of our vendors!!! Not even including all the times that I was made to feel like crap by all of these people who were upset about not getting invited (hubby and I wanted a small, personal wedding with 50-60 guests)...we ended up inviting more than 100 people and STILL had tons of people just show up who we never invited. GGrrrrrr...thank God I've got a great guy, and that we only have to go through this crap once!!
BeachBride
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
i had a brilliant wedding. but my uncle who decided he was official video man (didn't even want a video) is the king of shmaltz videos. to my horror, when watching the vid later, during filming at our house before the ceremony, i look like an evil bitch from hell, just cause i was pissed off with his ordering us around to pose! hubby was excellent, and ignored his orders and just talked through the whole time when he was at his place. now the vid will be sent to his relatives overseas - i hope they don't think he married his very own bridezilla!!
sman
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
I AM A GROOM.
Been one for nearly 1 year now. Date: 7/31/04 (blue moon). Lovely BTB. Don't regret a thing. Had my BP in New Orleans and i'm ready to be married now.
I would just like to state this for the record: Marriage involves two people. However the industry seems to only be geared towards one> the bride. Where's all the stuff for the groom? My LBTB has subscribed to all the mags and i've flipped through at least one of each. They're all the same: ads, ads, ads, planner, ads, ads, locations, ads, ads, letters, ads, ads, cover story about some rich bimbo who did it all her way, ads, ads, ads! Only on occassion was there ever an article (usually half a page) that actually gave a groom like myself something interesting to read: groomsmens gifts. Great - like my guys are gonna either want a bunch of gifts from the airport or 6 new Rolex watches>?
I always wanted to be involved with the planning of 'our' wedding. From the beginning (when we told FMIL), I specifically volunteered to handle all things 'music'. I've now hired the Dj, ceremony musicians, and even a dixieland band to escort us in a 2nd Line from the church to the reception hall. Tell your FH to get TF involved! Don't let him stand on the sidelines while you practice playing Julia-Roberts for a day that should be fun for the both of you. Ask for his help in figuring out money, food, music - anything! He may not have an opinion about what color the table-cloths should be in order to match the BM's shoes, but he may have some ideas that you may not have thought of. Practice some of that give-take relationship stuff while you plan for the biggest day in both of your lives, the one that marks the beginning of you lives together!
I have a confession to make: the wedding industry is built entirely upon fear. Fear of imperfection. If something goes wrong on your wedding day, don't think for a minute that it will ruin your life. So what? Get over it! Just remember that you will now have a husband who loves you and will always be there to help you out with anything you want to do.
Thanks for reading - now go kiss your man!
anti-groom infiltrator
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
I swore I was going to be very practical and not buy into all the wedding hype. We're managing to do our wedding for under $7,000 (which was supposed to be unde $6,000 but I underbudgeted for the photograher and DJ).
Anyway - little confession. I told my fiance that I would do the print at home wedding invitations because they'd only be about $60 or $70. Last week, though, I was flipping through the professional invitions at the local Hallmark store (only looking for wording - I swear!) and I came across the prettiest most romantic invitations that woud run us about $170! So my confession is that I'm going to have them printed up for us and put the cost on my Mastercard and pay off the card with part of the $$ from our house refinance.
Chastise me, oh goddess of practicality, for I'm gonna sin.
Sooo anonymous
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Worst hair ever. I felt that even on my wedding day I must look natural. Since I have generally a bad hair life, my wedding day was just another bad hair day. No veil, not even a tiara or a crown of flowers.
parish sou-hostess <email>
Mountain View, CA Monday, May 17, 2004
I feel very lucky that i did not need the princess for a day treatment most of the women on here seem to enjoy bragging about. My new husband tells me he loves me and that i'm beatiful everyday. The best part is, i know that he means every word.
luckiprincess
Monday, May 17, 2004
I'm tired of people asking me if I'm making the right decision and that it's ok to back out this late in the game! Sure, I've got a case of the cold feet, but I just need someone to VENT to, not someone to tell me I could be making the biggest mistake of my life!!!! Not to mention that I don't have a lot of money - my FH and I are paying for our entire wedding ourselves - and to "delay the wedding" is not a simple solution, due to the $$ in deposits we've already paid! AAARRRGGHHH
Nervous
Tacoma, Monday, May 17, 2004
Weddings are silly. People always seem concerned about throwing a "high class" affair, and a lot of brides think "high class" = "expensive". Then, these same "classy" brides go around telling everyone how much their dress cost, dissing other people's less expensive weddings, and trying to strong-arm their guests into giving super-expensive wedding gifts to make up for the cost of the wedding that the oh-so-classy couple (and their parents) couldn't really afford. Here's a news flash - if you can't afford the trappings of a high class wedding without going into debt, whining over the price or expecting extravagant gifts from your guests as payment for an invitation, don't try to have a "high class" wedding. You will get it wrong anyway, and end up looking like a hypocritical snob. I have known a number of super-rich folks, and the great thing about them is they NEVER talk about money. People for whom money is truly no object never seem to care about who does and doesn't have it. All these brides who talk about how much their parents spent on their so-called classy weddings, or who complain about how their parents didn't spend enough are far more déclassé than a dance-floor full of high-haired doily brides doing the Electric Slide who stayed within their budget and treated their guests graciously. No matter what your economic status, living within your means and treating your guests well is truly classy behavior.
class act
Monday, May 17, 2004
My parents paid for my wedding. They gave me a budget of $18,000.
I got mad. I wanted more money. The average wedding is 20 grand, and they have way more than above average incomes. Anyway, they finally conceded (after we found the perfect dress...which was $4,000, and way above budget). But as my husband and I were picking things out and buying wedding stuff, the cost kept rising. The final total for the wedding? Over $30,000. I put it all on my dad's credit card. We had a really great wedding. It was very elegant and beautiful.
And we had a fabulous rehearsal dinner the night before. His parents paid for that. It was $7,000.
Oh, and we went on a honeymoon for over two weeks. And we didn't have enough money for it, so his parents had to pay for that, too. It was close to $20,000. And fabulous.
Oh, and I did cocaine at my reception so I could stay awake.
Me
Sunday, May 16, 2004
A co-worker friend set her wedding date for May, last year, and asked me to join her shopping her gown, we visited three bridal shops and she tried several beautiful gowns and bought one absolute marvelous. She was always telling me about troubles with her mother and family and I was always there for her.
May arrives and she delivered her invitations to everyone in the office, except me, she didn't even wanted to talk to me, she simply left the invitations with another co-worker and left.
I got the message and just let it go, I though it wasn't fair, but it was her decision, anyway, I wished her good luck.
Not invited
Friday, May 14, 2004
wow, i'm 29 and i'm getting married in two months. I never dreamed of a "perfect wedding" as a little girl. Although lately, I've noticed i'm falling in love with all the little trappings that make a traditional wedding. I'm also abhoring all the crap that comes along with it. Everyone's opinions and comments. I've never heard people complain so much about shoes in my life. Just wear the damn shoes! You really honestly do want to make everyone happy. My fear is to exclude or ostracize someone. It's impossible not to do. I'm learning just to take a deep breath and grant myself the pleasure of being the focus just once. It's ok to be a litte selfish around this time. You want to set the stage for what could be the most cherished memories for you and your future husband. It's a big task. And it seems that only brides-to-be and recently married women understand that the most.
Who would have thought being a bride would feel so lonely.
It's nice to know we're all here in the confessional for each other!
Thanks.
this is not me
PA Thursday, May 13, 2004
I'm tired of hearing people telling me "you must do this or that or your marriage won't be happy". You think I won't be happy if I don't use a blue garter? or something old? what if I don't want to wear something borrowed???
I will be happy because I'm going to marry the man I love!
Happy Bride
Thursday, May 13, 2004
This is for "feel so horrible." First pregnancies often end in miscarraiges, but your feelings of guilt are earned. Your sister gave you possibly the best news of her life and you had a fit because it might affect your wedding?!? You won't understand this until you are pregnant with your first child, but babies always trump weddings (or anything else you can think of). The good news is that absolutely every human makes mistakes, and that is what you did. Apologize and offer your sister some comfort. That kind of pain does not go away very fast. And the next time she gives you her good news, you know you will be very excited for both of you. (Nieces and nephews can be a ton of fun!)
LuckyBride
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Emily Post,
As a future bride with several "Luxury-sized" bridemaids to clothe, I understand about the bridesmaids selection- doesn't it SUCK? It seems that if you want a dress over size 2o, it either has to be butt-ugly or incredibly expensive. I'm trying to keep costs down, and it seems like the moment a dressmaker has to buy and extra yard of fabric, they slap $100 more on the price!
BUT-- um, look, I'm a size 12 right now, and a size 8 when I'm at my best--but I have to fight to stay there. I was a size 18 for a while, because my thyroid shut down for a while...and it wasn't fun.
When you're fat, you KNOW you're fat, you can't wear the cute clothes other girls can and people feel perfectly free to make back-handed comments that make you feel even worse. It's like waking up zipped in to a snow suit of "ugly" everyday.
Your friend might be too depressed to even THINK of putting on exercise clothes, and, trust me, the idea of standing up in a wedding and being photographed with a bunch or willowy girls probobly makes her even MORE depressed. Ever think that having petite little you in HER wedding pictures was a more than a little hard on her self esteem? But she still asked you.
Maybe you could ask her to go do something active with you? Couldn't hurt. Maybe get together with a few of the other bridesmaids and start a "I don't want to gain weight with all the wedding stress walking group" or something, while tactfully NOT saying anything about her weight, EVER! You might just find she'll hop on the band wagon and actually lose weight before the wedding.
Remember, you could have just told people that you were having a "family only" rule for bridesmaids and tactfully left her out if her dress size bothers you so much. But as it is, you allowed the mere anticipation of a hissy fit and a few nasty remarks to influence your choice when YOU asked HER. You made the choice, so now it's your descion again to either live with it graciously or un-ask her because you care more about some photos in a book on the shelf more than a friend's feelings. If you love someone in real life what's on a few pieces of kodak paper doesn't matter.
If you love them off-film....
Thursday, May 13, 2004
I'm only in my early 20s but my FH and I have been living together for a while, so we already have most of the things people register for. And right now we live in a townhouse in a big city so we don't have a lawn or an outside area where we can put things. I figured out the registry though - I'm going to register for our honeymoon! Hahah!
No stuff just a vacation
Thursday, May 13, 2004
I have to say it: I was soooo lucky to recognize a bridezilla before I went down the aisle. Here's my story
Amanda was beautiful and sweet, I fell for her at first sight although she was a little picky about going to certain restaurants for dinner, I loved her and even though about getting married. So, after six months, I bought a ring and proposed to her during dinner in her favorite restaurant.
Maybe there was where it begun her transformation, her eyes were wide open when she saw the beautiful diamond ring and said "Honey, this is not what I had in mind, I think I'm going to exchange it". I know, I was stupid enough to allow her exchange the ring for other more expensive, almost double price but she was happy.
From there, everthing went down, she was talking about the wedding 24/7 and if I "dare" to talk about other things she had a fit, she had a large list of guests and tried to force me to uninvite many friends and members of my family, women most because she didn't want anyone who upstage her. Four months before the wedding I was completely broken and she made a rack because I couln't buy a very expensive diamond necklace "ask your father for money" she said, What? ask my father??!!!!
I have a wonderful friend since childhood, Layla is very comprehensive and is married to my older sister's best friend, bridezilla was jealous because Layla is more beautiful and thin so she univited her and her husband!!! I couldn't believe it. I begun to think if this worth the effort or what. That night I heard her screaming about someone being stupid for not agreeing with her about the centerpieces, I found out the person she was screaming at was 12 year old sister. I've had enough, my little sister was so frightened by bridezilla, so I took her out and told her to calm down, but bridezilla begun to scream more and more. When she went home I was all night thinking about joining my life to this monster.
So, two months before the wedding, I made a decision and finished the relationship, she cried and screamed and threaten me but my decision was taken, I loved her but she wasn't anymore the amazing girl I fell in love with.
I feel very happy today without her and I have a normal relationship with a really wonderful woman. Amanda kept the ring but I don't care, I heard that she had a new fiance and that he is as hysterical as she is, so everybody is taken bets about how long this marriage will last.
Happy EX-Groom!!!!
Thursday, May 13, 2004
What's wrong with me if I want to be a princess in MY day? Why everybody think that I'm crazy just because I want a platinum headband? It's MY wedding and I can do whatever I WANT. I want a lot of expensive gifts and make all my friends jealous of my perfect gown, my bridesmaids will wear chocolate dresses in June jajajajaja.
Me? Bridezilla? HA!
Thursday, May 13, 2004
I have to vent my chest, my ex-best friend is a complete b**ch, she had the gall to tell my new husband she was in love with him and tried to take him away from me in our wedding reception!!!!
Burn in hell, slutty friend!!! I hope you find a man and fall madly in love with him and that other woman do what you did to me!
Sarah
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Update for 3 times a bridesmaid: 1. After the wedding, I learned the "redneck" family members let it slip before the wedding that they would be bringing the univited 3 year old regardless of my wishes. So you see, it had nothing to do with finding a babysitter and everything to do with family dynamics. 2. The 7 course meal and private club was provided by the groom's parents - not my cup of tea and not what I wanted, but to keep peace with my future in-laws, I gave in to accomodate their wishes. I should have stuck to my guns and the simple cake and punch reception at the church. And btw, I'm one of those people who didn't know which fork to use either. Seeing a different picture yet? 3. Gold digger? Please. I've saved and invested my money since I started working at 16 so anything I desired or needed was already in place before I met my husband. In fact, we had two of everything, so your vision of me "hoping" for gifts from the wedding guests was hilarious. 4. I've had plenty of marriage proposals from 4 men in 20 years, so my age has nothing to do with being able to find a man. It does, however, have everything to do with being "grown up" enough to select a lifetime mate that offers things money CAN'T buy. 5. By the time you reach 40, you've learned that nothing in life ever goes as planned, so I never expected a "flawless" wedding day. Part of the excitement of the day was waiting for the unexpected to happen. 6. High maintenance? If expecting my bridesmaids to do and feel the same for me on my special day that I did for them on theirs makes me high maintenance, then I'm guilty. 7. Lastly, my mother is in complete agreement with my comments, and my husband argued repeatedly with his mother about the reception (without my prompting), so your lecture is misplaced, my dear, and therefore wasted on me. Your knee-jerk ability to assign "hoity-toity" and "Princess Beeyotch" labels without knowing all the facts reveals your own ignorance and inmaturity. If this is how you treat complete strangers, I seriously doubt you treat your own friends, family, or husband much better. Stick to singing and save the ridicule for the mirror.
Post Traumatic Bridal Syndrome
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Yeah, the bridezillas are devilish, but what about the bridesmaids from hell? I planned my wedding for a year, everything was going to be perfect, except for the lovely friend of my brother who I stupidly allowed to be one of my bridesmaids. This demon decided to change her beautiful dress which I paid for and went back to the reception in a white dress! I was speechless, my mother asked why and her answer was: It's a free country, I can get dressed in the color I want. I wanted to kill her. Does this make me a bridezilla?
A true bride
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Gee, this place is great!!! I'm invited to a friend's wedding next saturday but I'm realy thinking about not coming.
You see, this bride has crazy ideas and believes that the world must knee before her, her poor bridesmaids are going to wear the must ugly gold dress I've ever seen, she forbide all of the guests to wear black, yellow, red and pink, she asked to turn our cell phones of.... oh, and asked to dye the flowergirls hair!!!! a 5 year old hair!!!! "I want them brunette" she said, because she wanted to be the only blonde around.
Maybe it's because is her special day, but I think she's crazy and obsessive enough to ask her family and friends to buy only antique silverware, Tiffany's jewels (¡!) and Waterford crystal.
She's nuts if she thinks I'm going to buy her that $400.00 crystal piece she "assigned" to me, I'm going to buy her a broom!!!! :D .
Normally I like brides, when they act normally and when a wedding is for TWO people (bride and groom), but not when she asks granny for botox.
Esmeralda
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Why do brides turn into monsters?? My own sister was a bridezilla... my parents paid all her damn wedding, she wanted all "the best" and got it...was she happy? NO!!!! she was yelling all the time, even for the most small things she made a scandal of herself.
I always believed that a wedding must be a happy and meaningful event, but my devil sister made me think again. Nothing was good to her, she didn't stop screaming and insulting the guests all night.
That was two years ago, and yesterday my mom and I were talking about all the fuss she made (my aunts told me that Mom had a very small wedding, planned in a week) when my sister came, obviously she began to complain again about all that went wrong and no one help her, blah, blah, blah... until my mother told her : I gave you all so you could be happy in your wedding, it's your fault everything went wrong, if you have any doubt, ask the family, they will tell you....
I think it's the first time my sister realized how bad she behaved. Good work Mom!!!!!!
Sue
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
I can completely relate to KimR. As a woman who is planning a wedding at the start of July, I'm finding that I'm really starting to wonder why I need ALL THIS CRAP! Designer guest book and matching pen? What the hell? They're all so ugly and why do they have to match the ring bearer's pillow and champange flutes? A veil? I don't want to wear a veil! And what's up with these tiaras? If one more person asks me about a tiara, I'm going to scream. This is not an invocation of a princess. It's a wedding. There is just so much pressure to conform to the "cookie cutter wedding". Why do I need to spend so much money on one day by purchasing a unity candle what matches my guestbook that matches my toasting flutes? I cannot wait to get married to my man, and have everyone there to celebrate with us, but we're just going to have to do it *gasp* without said junk.
SalSal <email>
Minneapolis, MN Tuesday, May 11, 2004
All of my bridesmaids are in different pastel colors. Well, I have this BEAUTIFUL friend who is my MOH and even though I DO love her...shes just too pretty to look good. So...shes in puke green. Thats so awful, but can you blame me!?
Jealous in Puke Green
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
My cousin got married last March and her wedding could have been beautiful, but she was not happy, she wanted very expensive flowers, very expensive food and wanted an exagerately expensive gown and she had a fit when my aunt told her: it's a dress you will wear just for five or six hours!!!! She even threath her future husband of leaving him if he didn't buy the dress for her.
She behaved horribly during the entire wedding... and all for a stupid dress!!!! I think my aunt was relieved when she went away for her honeymoon.
Now it was my turn to get married and she was constantly saying that my gown wasn't as pretty as hers (mine is very simple, beautiful ans wasn't expensive, besides I paid it myself), she complained about all, decoration, food, music because my husband and I wanted all very simple and funny for our families. My sweet revenge was that all our guests had a wonderful time, we got a lot of beautiful presents and all were saying that our wedding were more funny and pretty than hers!!!!
Patty
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
One of my bridesmaids is a big girl, the others are size 10 and under. And it's such a pain that we have to work around her - none of the bridesmaids dresses I wanted, J.Crew, Aria, etc. come in 22 and up! And it's her own damn fault because she's so slovenly all she ever does is sit around and watch TV. I swear there is a TV in every room in the house. I know it's totally bridezilla but all I can think is, "Oh god, she's going to ruin the photos, here we'll have all these tall willowy, good looking friends and then her fat butt looking like a vienna sausage in pink strapless." Not only that but she's a pain in the ass, bossy, passive aggressive, etc. Why am I having her in the wedding? Guilt because I was in hers last year - didn't want to be and tried to get out of it. Then she is one of those that will be sooooo pissed if I don't have her in it, and since we live in a little, little town, that would suck. I know, I'm horrid. But I feel the same way about pregnant brides (it looks trashy) and this sounds awful, but I work out every damn day and watch what I eat so I can stay a healthy size 4 and be active. Laziness digusts me. Maybe I can hide her somewhere..
Emily Post
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
I'm having placecards for those that RSVPed only so I'll know who was a no-show and made me pay for their sorry ass that said they were coming and then decided they had better things to do!
MeeeBride!
Monday, May 10, 2004
I'm proud to say that I haven't done any bridezilla-like romping (as of yet...fingers crossed). But I am noticing something from others that is starting to severely tick me off. What is it with people feeling the liberty to tell me that 'you will fight' with my fiance in the coming weeks up to the wedding? These women know me and my personality (men, thank God, keep their opinions to themselves re: weddings, maybe that's why I have more guy friends than girl friends). They know I'm laid back, that we don't argue much at all (small bouts of bickering once in a blue moon) and I'm definately not the kind of girl that HAS TO HAVE EVERY DETAIL JUST PERFECT! So why do they tell me that we will be at each other's throats weeks beforehand? that it will and I quote 'only get worse'? I love this man, neither of us are perfect, but neither of us take this wedding so seriously that we'd have a heavyweight boxing match over something as trivial as reception music. Come on ladies! Give advice ("Make sure you take time to de-stress when things get rough, or else you two MAY fight") instead of putting a hex on the poor bride ("You WILL fight. A lot. It WILL happen because it happened to me so it WILL happen to you.") ESPECIALLY when you're Christian and believe in exhorting and encouraging. Telling me crap like that makes me think I can't tell you anything personal.
Soon2B Mrs. Martin <email>
Charlotte, NC Monday, May 10, 2004
I'm reading all of these confessions and I think we're all forgetting what the wedding day is all about.
One thing that I have tryed to focus on while planning my wedding is the fact that it's not all about the one day. It's about marrying my best friend and the love of my life. I'm spending the rest of my life with him and while we will have great memories of our wedding, it's only going to last 24 hours.
My wedding is in August and I still have alot to do, and I don't care! It'll all get done, so I'm not stressed about it.
We all have to think about after the fact. We have chosen these men to be our husbands and are vowing our lives to them. It's no longer going to be about the dress or the color or who RSVPed.
Think about it.
And for you ladies who have confessed to sleeping around on your men: you're not ready to get married and you just confessed that you're not commited to your fiances.
Mrs. W
Sunday, May 09, 2004
I bought a $500 head piece. In addition to my $700 veil. I am too embarassed to tell my sister or my friends how much it cost. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!
KOOKOO
Saturday, May 08, 2004
When I was looking for my gown, a co-worker friend went with me to a bridal shop and she tried several gowns too, in fact, she looked better than me, so I didn't invite her to my wedding. Jealous? Absolutely.
Yara Hess
San Antonio, TX Thursday, May 06, 2004
Ok, I don't think I am bridezilla but I happen to have sisterzilla. My niece made invitations for my wedding, she's five. They were adorable drawings and on the inside it said come to my wedding. She was very excited about being my flower girl.
The rough part is, 5 days before Christmas she was killed in a car accident. Believe me, my whole family is going through a very hard time and our hearts are broken.
While I wanted to postpone the wedding, and pretty much just lie down and die, my mom, dad, brother-in-law and sister encouraged me to keep going. To remember my niece, I wanted to use the drawings on her invitations as the cover of the invitations and on the inside, dedicate the day to her memory. Here is where it gets really ugly.
My sister is an award winning graphic designer. She offered to do the invitations before the accident. Afterward, naturally, I didn't bring it up because she had enough trauma. We were talking about the wedding one day and I said we really need to do the invitations. Shortly after that she refused to return my calls. My brother-in-law "accidently" gave me the invitations and I am having a printing service do them. I was planning to have the originals mounted and framed and sent to my Mom, Dad, and Sister as invitations. Sister freaked out, called me every name in the book, threatened to break into my house to get them back (the framed invites were to be her birthday present).
I know everyone will think I am a monster for complaining about this, but I'm hurt and tired too. I just want to call the whole thing off and give up.
WhatwasIthinkin <email>
East Lansing, MI Tuesday, May 04, 2004
The children. Why is it absolutely necessary to enable children under the age of 8 -- who don't have the best attention spans in the world-- to come to the reception. If we do it the way I want, with a babysitter, then parents can relax, and the dance floor won't be clogged by hyper little ones doing the limbo. Wouldn't a party of their own be more fun? And I love kids-- but we need to cut the numbers down, and I would rather have some adult friends than 8th cousins who are unlikely to remember the celebration anyway! Aack.
Lita
Saturday, May 01, 2004
Wow, SP, your wedding sounds almost exactly like mine was. The fam damily wanted a big todo but didn't want to help, unless it was to substitute my plans for their own ideas without asking me.
I came so close to eloping and still wish I'd done it. My family acted like jerks the entire time about everything. My friend I'd asked to serve flaked at the last second and I couldn't get a replacement. And I got stuck with a ton of booze too!
It was all....argh!!! The upside was that I also got stuck with a ton of delicious wedding cake my MIL made. Everytime I got worked up about things I just soothed it with another scrumptious piece. Best therapy ever!
Metoo@PITAwedding.com
Saturday, May 01, 2004
I am just grateful for this site. all this stuff is ridiculous. It's only going to last a COUPLE OF HOURS!
My rant is that it's all on the bridal's shoulders. I admit I'm sort of accepting that and falling in to the trap of wanting things to be perfect in My Way- which for me means shucking some traditional crap- but there's still this idea that it has to be Just So, and to please everyone, and that's tiring!
It's cahrazy!!! Why do I feel like I need to wear a veil?? Ayone else wondering the same thing? I just think it's bizarre, and I'm glad I can find some humor in it!
KimR
Friday, April 30, 2004
Why can't people send in there RSVPs? What is so difficult about writing the #of people coming and mailing it in? It takes 45seconds. Brides have so many things to do, calling people to see if they are coming should not have to be one of them.
kay
Friday, April 30, 2004
We have been married for six years now and I still remember all the negative things that happened at our wedding. No one else remembers them, but you will.
I did not want a traditional wedding, a big wedding, a bridal shower, a stagette party (which, by the way, turned out to be the best party ever!), or an expensive wedding. I did succeed in avoiding the bridal shower and keeping the wedding and honeymoon under 10K (at the time very expensive for us, we paid for most of it).
Good/Bad points:
1. Kids. Did not want children, does not matter, give up ANY idea that you will be able to have a child-free wedding. I have to admit that the kids did pretty good and were a lot of fun.
2. Bride control. I tried to do EVERYTHING. That was a huge mistake. On the last day I was so stressed for time that I was exhausted, never do this. Enlist help from anyone who is willing. Another problem that arose from my total control was that family felt left out, now I feel bad about that but I was just trying to keep it simple. There is no such thing as a simple wedding.
3. DJ. Very important, ours sucked. He is a friend and offered his services as a gift (he DJ's at clubs and other events) he was late, forgot mic cords and had to leave and come back, this sucked as we had finished our pictures and I was sitting in a bathroom waiting for the damn music to start the wedding!! GRRR.
4. Food servers. I thought I would save money and hire three 17-20 year old kids of our friends. They are good kids but not good servers, hire professionals. At one point I was behind the table pulling out the trays of food becuase our servers did not know they were there. I had also stocked up on tons of alcohol for our guests (did not want them to pay at the bar) and kept them in coolers by the food, no one noticed and I was left with all this booze at the end of the wedding. I was sooo bummed, and I bet our guests were too!
5. Location. This worked out really well. We used a local Lions Club building that sits back in the woods on a beautiful property with a great park. They had tables, chairs, and a kitchen. It only cost us $250 for all of it. We were married out front under the trees and had the reception inside the hall, so great because no one had to drive from one place to another.
The best part of the wedding was the ceremony. My uncle performed the wedding and it was so sweet, he cried a little, told us how much he loved us and kept it short. The whole time my knees were shaking, I was teary-eyed but my husband just smiled and rubbed my hands to help me relax. We both loved that part of the day.
I tried to keep my husband involved in all the decisions and he was great at it, very glad I did not exclude him. I am sure I was a pain in the ass to other people, but I really tried not to be. One thing that really bothered me was that my future sister-in-law set her wedding date one month after ours so none of his out-of-state family came to our wedding, but they all came to hers. I guess since she is the girl they thought it was more important than it would be for my husband. Wrong.
Weddings are stressful, you cannot get around it. At one point I just wanted to dump all the plans and get married just before Christmas with only family at a really nice restaurant overlooking the ocean. We came close but in the end did the whole deal.
I can honestly say it is a waste of money and I would not do it again. I think we would have enjoyed the December wedding so much more, and my idea of keeping it simple would have been great. The problem with the "simple" theory is the fact that weddings tend to get out of hand and grow right before your eyes. All I can say is make sure you are both happy with all decisions and don't make it just about the bride, you will both have more fun. Stay true to what it is you really want, this is not about family and friends, it is about the couple to be married. All that matters is that you can look back on your wedding and remember all the good times.
SP
Santa Barbara, CA Thursday, April 29, 2004
I am marrying a wonderful man of a different race (he's Filipino). We are doing our best to incorporate his family and culture into our wedding, including a traditional veil and cord ceremony and the passing of coins. We chose to wear the usual dress and tux for the ceremony, and he will change into a traditional barong (a beautiful sheer embroidered shirt) for the reception. He told me there is something similar for women and asked if I wanted to wear that after the ceremony. I said I'd be willing to do that if I liked the dress. He was pretty excited about the idea.
Months later, I finally saw the type of dress he was talking about. It's an off-white lace concoction with puffed sleeves, a straight shift bodice and a dropped waist to the hips -- it looks like something I might have worn to a fifth-grade dance in 1986. I'm not built like an Asian woman, either, and it would have looked absolutely horrible on my less-than-perfect body shape (and finding one in a size 14 probably would have been a nightmare). I'm very sensitive about my size and always conscious of how I look in my clothes. So I thought about it a lot and tried to talk myself into doing it for my FH, but about a month ago I wussed out and asked him if he would mind if I didn't wear it. He was totally cool about it and said I have done more than enough to incorporate Filipino cultural traditions into the wedding. The wedding's in two months and it should be all OK, but I just feel guilty. It was something he wanted, but I shot it down because I might look less than perfect. Am I a Bridezilla?
selfish bride?
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
So my wedding's not for a year. And so far I've prided myself about not getting all bridezilla-y, but I've started to worry just a bit about some things. The reception hall - the one place that's not a tacky conference/banquet hall with a neon sign - is being refurbished and was suppoed to be completed by this spring, but it's not and the property manager hasn't been answering or returning calls. He promised it would be ready by this fall though. I'm just worried that by the time I find out about it - if it's closed - it'll be too late to make other reservations. Also, I never really thought I cared about the aisle that I walked down, but now I do. The church is one of those "in-the-round" churches and the aisle is really short. I'm getting a little bitter that I don't get to have a longer one. And it's in the center but the doors are off to either side, so what do I do, come in one of them and then walk over to the center? And my mom's making my dress for me - I found one that I liked in a Vera Wang book and she got a pattern kind of like it and is adjusting it so it's closer to the actual dress - but I think that she's not really going to follow what it looks like and I don't want to get angry at her but want to remind her what I want it to look like. I have a feeling that it's going to be a poofy princess dress when that's not what I wanted at all. And I had to ask my FH's sister whether she wanted to be a bridesmaid - I didn't really mind, though I was a little perturbed about her hairstyle and such - right now it's a normal color, but really short, and I would have no idea what it would be like for the wedding - and she pulled one of those "I don't know if I'm going to be in the country" things. She says that she's applying to cooking school in London for next year (also says that the application fee is 1500 pounds - I have never applied to a school overseas and don't know what their app fees are, but isn't that a little steep? More like tuition or something). So she says she doesn't know whether she's going to be in the country, which is not a yes nor is it a no. So I want to ask one of my friends to be my other bridesmaid, but am really worried that as soon as I do this chick will turn around and say yes and then my FMIL and the rest of my FH's family will get all bent out of shape if I say that I already have someone else picked out.
On top of all this, the wedding is seriously expensive - I always thought that is was a couple hundred dollars for the church, a couple hundred for the flowers, a couple thousand for the photographer and music and five thousand or so for the reception venue with food, so 10k total at the most. Well it's turning out to be twice that much - I'm not paying for it, my parents are, but I don't want them to have to delay retirement or anything like that to pay for my wedding. So I kind of try to cut back on guests, but it's not happening, instead the list just seems to grow. And I don't really want to invite kids but his family is coming from out of state and would probably end up refusing the invites or just bringing them along anyway. AND we've been asking his father to give a guest list or something like that and he hasn't responded at all. Once it comes down to sending the invites (and I've already ordered them, of course) I'm sure he'll come through with the list, but what to say then? Sure, we'll adjust all the numbers or kick people off the list and order extra invitations in a smaller group (and pay more for them) and then send them out late so that people don't have time to RSVP or have already made plans just to placate your late a$$?
Seriously I just want to elope and I still have a year left.
early bridezilla
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
I got in a fight with my maid of honor over whether or not she had to wear matching shoes in the middle of her place of employment. Luckily, we entertained the mostly male staff, who were looking forward to a catfight!
Anonymous
Mentor, OH Wednesday, April 28, 2004
My wedding is next weekend, and I realized that I've been a complete pushover for over a year of planning. I was so worried that I would wind up as the villain in one of the horror stories of the type you read here...and instead I wound up letting everyone else have their way with everything and anything. I was trying to avoid "This is my special daaaaay" syndrome, but in that effort, I lost the opportunity to have much creative input in the process. I've spent this whole time trying to make other people (my mother, his mother, the bridesmaids, the ushers, aunts and uncles) happy. Don't get me wrong -- I'm glad that they're happy, and I definitely didn't want it to TURN into The Showcase Of Wonderful Me. I just kind of wish that I had taken charge a little more. I've always been horribly uncomfortable in the spotlight (opening gifts at the bridal shower was sheer hell), so it's probably for the best. Oh, well, it's too late now.
VocaPopula
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
If you're not enjoying being in a wedding party, back out. If you don't appreciate things people are telling you, ignore them. Weddings are so chaotic that nobody remembers or cares about these things afterward. And those who do harbor bad feelings, don't matter.
I went through all sorts of yucky stressful things before the wedding that included harrassing phone messages and emails from family and friends asking me to remember their preferences and needs. I found that when I responded, the people were insatiable. If I ignored them, they simply went away.
Been there, blocked that
Saturday, April 24, 2004
How do you deal with a Matron of honor-zilla???
I am one of the bridesmaids in my best friends wedding and her matron of honor (who has been her friend for longer than most of us, but is one of those "best" friends that doesn't hang out with anyone else in the bridal party and until now didn't really hang out with the bride either) is a complete control freak!!! She is the type to plan something ahead of time (not asking anyone else for input) pay for it, make the final arrangements and then ask the rest of us for the money. Let me say, that its not withinn a reasonable budget either! Its gotten to the point to where there has been alot of problems and unecessary drama. Now, the chick has "officially un-invited" a couple of the bridesmaids (that she encountered a problem with about the cost) to the bachelorette party (thats an overnighter in a popular vacation spot)! How do you, as a Matron of Honor, un-invite those in the bridal party to thier own bachelorette party?? Wouldn't that ultimately be up to the bride??
And her excuse is that its causing the bride all of this unecessary stress, so she needed to take matters into her own hands because she has been the brides friend the longest.
Please let me know what you think, because the bride is only hearing/believing her side of it and she doesn't know what to do. How do you tell your best friend thats also her best friend, that she has issues and its not our fault! Right now I'm just dealing with it all for the brides sake, and maybe waiting until after the wedding, but I'm sorry, I can't go to my own best friends bachelorertte party, even if I can't afford it??? Those are some pleasant memories of a wedding!!!
Not gonna back down !
Friday, April 23, 2004
Last year, I brought an uninvited date to a wedding - now that I'm getting married and I've read all these stories about how horrible that is, I feel really lame.
Whew. I needed to get that off my chest.
sheepish
Friday, April 23, 2004
Tomorrow is the date of my Bachelorette Party. When I told this girl when the party was, she took the date, did not ask me for an invite list and proceeded to make plans for this party without my consent as to who is coming. As it turns out I am NOT going to it since she invited all the people I do not know from Adam and people I know but HATE!! I had told her "maybe this night is good" for the party if I even had one since my opinion on those sort of parties is that I think they are immature and stupid but she just proceeded to make all these plans without me. I have more, but this is enough to say for now!!
What was she thinking???
Friday, April 23, 2004
It is completly rude to include registry cards into the invitation. The proper way to inform guests is by word of mouth.
k
Friday, April 23, 2004
PeevedGuest - I dunno, I don't think that's such a bad idea to include a list of where they're registered. My sister is getting married, and I am SO tired of people calling/emailing me asking where they're registered. Sending out a card saying where they're registered seems like a great idea to me since so many people want to know!
On another note, is anyone else having nightmares about the wedding? I keep dreaming I show up 2 hours late, or forget my dress, or burp during the ceremony or something. And it's not even my wedding! ;)
sister-of-the-bride
Friday, April 23, 2004
This week received wedding invitation which included THREE (3)BRIDAL REGISTRY CARDS. Ok, I got the message that a gift is expected...do I need to indicate which registry I will be purchasing the gift from on the RSVP card? Will seating assignments be based on which registry I choose? Is it in poor taste to attend if I can't afford a gift that is of equal or greater value of the dried-out, over-cooked chicken dinners my husband and I will choke down at reception?
Please brides-to-be...send no registry cards in your wedding invitations! If you're truly my friend you know that I will bring / send something appropriate to commemorate your day with out being told!
Peeved Guest
Dayton, OH Thursday, April 22, 2004
Phew. Thanks for the tantrum, sweetheart. I really loved to hear about how I suck as a bridesmaid, as a friend, and as a human being, when I've got three million things on my plate right now. Who needs to melodrama? Despite what you read in those frou-frou magazines YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. Yes, I'm not interested in the bloody wedding colors and flowers. Sue me. Can't believe you'd pull this passive-aggressive shit on me. Have fun at your wedding. I have a little bit of self respect left.
grrr
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
That Muppet Themed wedding sounds so cute! Maybe you can find the "Somebody's Getting Married" from the Muppets Take Manhatten and play it...that sounds really cute! Good Luck!
Bride
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
I'm going to have a Muppet-inspired wedding. Not "Theme-d", mind you, just "inspired". Music from Muppet movies and Sesame street at the ceremony (instrumental versions, of course...let's not get crazy here), various Muppet touches at the reception. A FUN, Cookie Monster Table for the KIDS (yeah, lots of kids - lots of fun), and IT'S GOING TO ROCK!!! I'm So Excited. My wedding is going to be SO FUN, and that's all that I want. ...and certain people are going to FLIP OUT when they are finally told (when it's way too late, of course!) Heeheeheehee!!! W is for Wedding!!
ThisWeddingBroughtToYouByTheLetterW
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Mine is just a simple rant, but why don't people (mostly family) understand that on an invitation the only people who are invited are the ones on the invitation! This is the only thing that is causing me a lot of stress right now. I have recieved a number of invitations back where I only invited 2 people and on the number of persons part when I get it back says 4, I ONLY INVITED 2. It's not that I wouldn't want these people there if it was a party of some sort at a different larger location but I only have limited seating because the place we booked only has room for 120. I guess the only thing that makes me angry about it is that they don't have the power to invite extra people, they can't arbitrarly invite people they want to it's not their place especially when their not paying for the extra plate.
Havin' fun and Goin' crazy
Friday, April 16, 2004
I threw a huge fit the night before our "destination wedding" when I realized that somehow the hotel had lost my family's reservation. Everyone had rooms except me & my parents. The best man ended up having to sleep at a motel down the road & while my husband remained completely quiet about the whole thing- he was apparently very upset & spent the whole night prior to the wedding thinking I was pissed off/psycho. I have such great memories of our wedding & all he remembers is my freak out. I feel like I totally wreaked it for him.
Flower freak
Friday, April 16, 2004
I have to confess that despite all the planning I want to keep my sister from coming. I have begged her from to PLEASE NOT BREAST FEED THE 2 YEAR OLD DURING THE CEREMONY-She doesn't put a blanket over her or anything, just whips it out. Only to be told that if I didn't like it I could go to hell. Don't have kids, but I would think most nursing people would feel it is reasonable. But this is a woman who started breast feeding her daughter during A FAMILY FUNERAL!!!!
I love my neice and want her to be there, just hate my sister and if you met her you would hate her too, and know she will be obnoxious during the wedding.
Anyone know how to stop a 2 year old from breast feeding in a hurry?
WhatwasIthinkin <email>
East Lansing, MI Friday, April 16, 2004
My maid of honor and I did lines together at the reception, outside and around the corner of the place. No one knew. My husband would probably divorce me if he knew I was doing drugs at our wedding.
married!
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Six months ago I was a fairly normal career minded woman who laughed derisively at the wedding industry. I vowed that I would keep spending to a minimum and would marry the man I love in a simple spiritual ceremony wearing a purple dress. Hello!!!!!! Now I seem to be wrapped up in a bloody fan fare costing ten thousand plus and I have a head full of kitten heel shoes and chocolate cakes...help me please...what the @@@%%^&* has happened? I have been sucked in and I love it!!!I know people are starting to think that I am mental...how do I stop and connect with reality and get back to work instead of checking out sites like this....
who am I?
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Soon to be Mrs. P.
Okay, so this is going to sound a bit immature, and really, I feel more than a little silly about posting, but here goes. My fiance and I have been together for 3 years come May. I realize we are a bit young for such a serious relationship (we'll both be 20 when we say "I do") but nevertheless we feel that we are doing the right thing, and all of our friends say we're meant for each other. I couldn't care less about most of the wedding planning, and have a great bridesmaid who is taking the reins for the whole annoying project. Only our closest friends and family have been selected to attend the wedding, since we want a small, outdoor, non-traditional-y wedding even though we are both very spiritual and regularly attend a wonderful church (whose minister is NOT officiating).
That said, I am going to kill his sister. And his father. Who, incidentally, refuses to ACKNOWLEDGE the fact that we are even engaged, let alone getting married. Oh, and did I mention he (my FFIL) still refuses to let his extended family know? Because he says that we aren't engaged. Due to this, his sister found out from my little sister's English teacher, when she was getting her nails done in some cheap-ass local salon. So she started calling my FH yelling and screaming about how I was such a bitch and how we weren't really engaged and how we couldn't be getting married. So I basically told her to shut the f#$% up and bother her father, since he was the only reason that NONE of my FH's family knew besides his parents (!!). Flash forward to Christmas '03, where I get to go on a family vacation with them to an undisclosed tourist city. Not only do I have to put up with being stuck in a room with her (she got mad if I opened the curtains before noon!) and dealing with all her whiny, bitchy tantrums, I have to deal with looking his extended family in the eye as my FH's father introduces me as "girlfriend" as opposed to fiacee. Keep in mind, by this point we've been engaged for over a year.
That brings us to today. Which is, in my opinion, even worse. Guess who goes and gets herself engaged to the loser (vegetable IQ sportaholic dumb-as-a-brick underachiever) she's barely known for a year, let alone dated? Mmmhmm. On her birthday, with the hugest sparkly rock I have ever seen. Why would anyone in their right mind buy something that big if you could save the money for a downpayment on a house? At any rate, I would like to take a moment to point out that HER fiance's parents pay for all of his rent, bills, food, gas, insurance, etc., and my FH's parents pay for his sister in much the same fashion (though not my FH)--any money that she or her fiance make by real work (when that does happen) they get to blow on crap like sparkly rocks. Anywho. So our date has been set in STONE since November 03. It was tentative before then, but we made it official and made the necessary announcements during Thanksgiving (you know, "Keep May 05 open, we're getting married!") to both families--his sister and her then-boyfriend included. So when does she set her wedding date? Oh, exactly FOUR WEEKS after ours. I seriously almost killed her with my chopsticks in that restaurant right then and there. Should have, woulda saved me a lot of time.... Reminded her about our wedding date, she said that she's older, so she takes precedence (wtf?!?!?) Can't find a way to tell her she's the bridezilla from hell...is there a way to just not include her? We're not going to have even 25 people there, including family, officiant, and wedding party. And she wants their whole family, from all over the country, to fly in. Top this off with my parents, who are volunteering to pay for the event, telling me that it is rude, tacky, and uncouth to have a reception with more people than the wedding. We don't mind everyone's screaming children at a party, for goodness' sake, but at our wedding? No thank you. We don't want to make everyone sit through it, either, even though it's going to be less than half an hour long. Advice would be great. Stories to top it would be better ^_^
Stressed-out Bride of the Younger Brother <email>
OK Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Oh, Retrozilla!
I don't know if you'll come back and see this, but I just wanted to say that I dig you and I'm sooo sorry that you had to do that. I wanted to go to the JP in jeans, too, and we DID! Now we're having an insane crazy big wedding, too, but it's so much easier, because I know he already married me - we are sort of getting it both ways. I totally didn't want a wedding, either, but we both made our concessions. I don't know if my message is going to make you feel any better, but yours made me feel better - thanks!
I'm glad the marriage is going well, and I hope that they all forgive you and understand a little bit - or a lot. I certainly threw my fits for a long time about what a pain in the ass it all is and what he didn't know about having to get a damn DRESS and plan out flowers and think of acting CIVIL to all those people who want to pinch and poke and put on you just one more inch of lace, one more layer of lipstick, pull off your garter (!), etc. It's crazy, sick, and wrong, and it was noble of you to go through with it at all.
Amber
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
It's not that my fiancee' and I hate children, but......there were a few minor spats between us and our families about not having children at our Sunday morning wedding and brunch. Yes, I realize it's not late at night and it's hard to find sitters, but FIND A SITTER. I am NOT hiring "Jingles the Clown" to entertain your kid who is going to end up running like a wild indian through the reception regardless. Sadly, I have succombed to having four children under 5 at our wedding, two of which are my own niece and nephew whom I love very much and am very close with, but it is supposed to be OUR day and if we I didn't want to invite any other children (ie, other nieces and nephews), WE shouldn't have had to! All I'm saying is, whoever said it's the "Bride's Day" is a complete liar cause there's always someone, family or not, who gives no regard or thought to how you want your day to go. So there, I said it!! I want it to be MY day!! Not somebody's sister's day, not somebody's long-long aunt's day...MY DAY! My other confession is that I made the mistake of inviting long lost relatives that knew me when I was knee-high and now I'm sorry I did. I would have much rather invited more of my friends than relatives I'll probably never see again (some of whom also seem alouf and negative!), but alas, I was trying to be NICE! All I can say to all the bride and grooms out there is to invite the people that are most important to you and not to get side-tracked about comments from the peanut gallery about who you SHOULD or SHOULDN'T invite. Try as hard as you can to make it "your day" and stand your ground, choose your battles and all that. Truth be told, although the wedding day SHOULD be very special, I've learned the bond between you and your groom is WAY more important. So if the kids have to come, or Auntie Ethel is mocking the very beautiful and elegant reception, be confident in knowing you're marry the greatest man in all the land and find comfort in that the ones who are causing you problems are most likely miserable people anyway! (and PS, my wedding is next month...if there are crying, wild children, you can bet your bippy I'll be confessing more horrible thoughts in this booth!!) Amen.
Bitta Bride-Needs a Little Suga <email>
Warren, NJ Wednesday, April 14, 2004
I was just UNIVITED to a wedding by co-worker Bridezilla. She had already sent me an invitation, to which I RSVP'ed for me only, no guest. She then, at a lunch meeting today, verbally uninvited me in front of most of the staff b/c, in words, "You just shouldn't come because you will just get depressed because you don't have a boyfriend, or even a date." EXCUSE ME??? I am very happily single, so I am going to have to chalk her extreme rudeness and total breach of etiquette up to the fact that she thinks her wedding is the end all and be all of existence because she is the only woman to ever have been or ever will be married and that all other women must want to slit their wrists because they are not going to be wedded to a big old closeted homosexual mama's boy like her fiance.
I told her not to uninvite me simply based on my singleness, but to please uninvite me because I would rather stick a spork in my eye than go to her tacky pink-pepto-bismal wedding.
P.S. I am keeping the Williams-Sonoma blender I bought as a wedding gift for myself and am going to make margaritas with it tonight!
NotGoingToYourWedding
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
I didn't send thank you notes after my husband's family's shower or after the actual wedding. I always meant to, and one month just passed after the other and I didn't do it. I feel so horrible about this. This is the first time I've ever even said it "out loud". I swear I will make it up to them somehow, but this will always be my dirty little secret.
still guilty after 3 years
Monday, April 12, 2004
When I was getting married, I was nice to everyone involved in public -- but a total BrideZilla in private. I did NOT want a wedding. I wanted to go to the JP in our jeans and t-shirts and make no big deal out of it at all. I'm sorry to say that I took it out on my poor fiance (who wanted the wedding) very, very badly. Our folks were great, BTW -- there just aren't any horror stories about the relatives on either side. The wedding wasn't ostentatious, either -- it was still pretty informal. But it's impossible for anything to be informal enough for me!
The happy ending: The marriage has worked out great. But I still wish we had eloped. I hate dressing up, hate being responsible for throwing parties, and completely detest the very ideas of tradition and formality. Always have, always will. I didn't enjoy one minute of the wedding or of the planning. My only regret is that we didn't go to the JP in our jeans and t-shirts and not make a big deal of it at all.
RetroZilla
Monday, April 12, 2004
It's a week before the wedding, and I'm in the middle of a long discussion with my parents and fiance about how my parents are going to give me away - the symbol is important to them, and to him, their ideas seem silly - we had a big freak out moment last night, tears and all ... I love them all, but it makes me wish that we could elope. Now my fiance is upset with me, and my mom is upset with me, and with him - and we're working on the fine art of compromise, but we're both a little tired - too tired to be dealing with this now ... so say a little prayer for me.
soon to be mrs. p.
Monday, April 12, 2004
ARGH...a wedding is not about "things". I'm getting married in a month, wearing a white cocktail dress ($150 at macy's---and only white 'cause it shows off my tan). Bridemaids picked out their own dresses to match a paint chip that I picked up at Home Depot (no one spent more than $35). I moved to Hawaii a year ago to work for the military-my hubby-to-be had to stay in PA to finish school. We're having a wedding at our hometown that celebrates this--beach torches, Hawaiian/South Pacific music at the reception, and we're walking down the aisle to Elvis. I only have a week of vacation time to burn, so I'm hoping that my dreams of a week-long reunion with all of my buds, family, and last but not least, my hubby. I'm hoping that my dreams come true--my wedding ends up being the culmination of a week-long party with all of my nearest and dearest. And I hope that my mother and mother-in-law realize that the year out here in the islands by myself has made me into one tough b*tch, and no, I will NOT buy custom-printed napkins, have weird plastic people on my cake, etc., etc. It's amazing how the people in this world who are supposed to support you no matter what (ie my mom) start calling you "weird" and "Different" if you pick stuff for your wedding that is not cookie-cutter.
BeachBride
Monday, April 12, 2004
Why the hell do some brides insist of using every color in the rainbow? Its like lavendar and....,pink and.....Why can't they just stick to one color! It looks better anyway!
The colors, the colors!
Thursday, April 08, 2004
I just got married, and I am horrified at some of the things people say on here. Firstly, marriage is not a free-for-all gift grab, the gift is someone coming to your wedding. Secondly, "Bridesmaid" is not another word for personal slave. Thirdly, your parents are not cash cows.
The way some of you talk, I am shocked that your fiance, friends and parents are still talking to you.
Also, if you just chill the hell out, your wedding will go beautifully...mine did!
Joy
Chicago, IL Monday, April 05, 2004
I cheated on my fionce with his cousin cause i was drunk
amber
Monday, April 05, 2004
I totally understand, "pissed." After months of biting my tongue as my bridezilla went off on these weird monologues of finding herself, finding strength in her man and pointing out all my flaws (to "help" me out), here goes:
My ex-friend has started talking about her wedding as an "accomplishment." Since when is it an accomplishment to get someone to love you? She hopes that I can accomplish this wonderful thing some day. Called me all these awful names b/c I wasn't calling her up every five minutes (I DID ask you liar - you just want a reason to get dramatic) and then have the AUDACITY to send me pics of what wedding dresses I would look good in if I were to EVER get married.
Get back to reality you pathetic, lazy, fat-ass, weakling. What are you going to do with your life afterwards? I've worked my ass off my whole life, bought my own place, fought HARD and your fiance gives you an allowance because you can't even budget for a fucking month. You've never completed anything. You've blamed everyone (no, your father isn't the reason you haven't done anything with your life)
How DARE you tell me that I am unaccomplished and unhappy because I haven't met the man of my dreams?
You'll end up bored and dissatisfied.
You've only ever taken the easy road and you know it.
hear you
Sunday, April 04, 2004
Thank god there's an outlet for this. Just received a mouthful from my (ex) best friend about how I wasn't there for her during planning of her wedding. She then laid into me about all the mistakes I've done over the years. I felt absolutely sick. Went to Chapters today and read all the bride books about how I was supposed to act as a bridesmaid. The truth is -- I don't think I was the perfect bridesmaid. They say you're supposed to fawn over them and step aside completely with your problems. She's been engaged for two years, whereas I've gone through a lot. Nothing dramatic (moving, new job, big travels) but stuff that's taken priority. We've lived far apart for awhile now. I thought we'd have fun getting the bridesmaid dresses and I'd plan a kickass staggette.
The truth is, I don't understand this bridal stuff. It's not in my blood. My mother didn't care either (she's been happily married for a long time). I respect that some girls have dreamt about it, and I respect it, but I just don't get warm fuzzies when I think of my wedding day. I realize now I should've been a bit more in awe of her special event.
Anyway, brides -- please don't let this wedding day define your friendship. Let it be about your man and you. Whether you think the bridesmaid is jealous, uninterested, whatever. It could be the case or not, who knows?
And don't think the time is right to air all the grievances over the years you've had with a friend.
You might feel superhuman but we (ex) bridesmaids are just human.
pissed
Sunday, April 04, 2004
I never actually wound up being a bride. I had a tiff with my would-have-been mother-in-law over one of the bridesmaids (male), which turned into a tiff with the would-be groom, where he sided with his mother, and I sided with the promise I'd made to said bridesmaid that he could be one of my bridesmaids. Neither of them had a problem with him being one of my attendants: the sticking point was the dress, and I wasn't budging.
Wedding? So, so very off.
I wish so very much that I'd not restrained myself when speaking to his mother.
Azure
Friday, April 02, 2004
My mother thinks I'm to old and that I'm going to end up bieng an old maid the worst thing is I'm 24!!!!!
the non bride
Thursday, April 01, 2004
I have to apologize, nearly two years later, to my best friend. I was her maid of honor, and she did everything wonderfully: great food, lovely dresses for her entourage, and a free bar.
The only thing that I begged her not to include me in was the throwing of the bouquet. I've always felt uncomfortable with this tradition, and I've always been to embarassed about being herded up in front of everybody. My friend agreed that I didn't have to participate. Well, when the time came, what do you know? She got on the microphone and called my name out, laughing the whole time.
I, having drunk 3 rum & cokes by this time, flicked her off, in front of the entire gathering. The DJ said, "I see the Maid of Honor is giving the bride a gesture of love and respect." My friend, as well as everyone else there, was laughing really hard, so I guess it was ok.
But even though she reassures me that she thought it was funny, I still feel like a total jerk. Sorry, sweetie!
Michelle
VA Thursday, April 01, 2004
I'm doing most of the planning for my daughter's wedding. She's okay with it, I want to do it for her, and yes, my husband and I are footing the bill. there are times my daughter gets testy with me (thinks I'm obsessed with the wedding), but the fact is, I have a life and I need to plan things when I have time to do it. But then I read your letters. I'm sorry that so many of you have been disappointed. My advice to you would be to go ahead, have a wonderful life, and do better when it's your child whose the bride. Because it happens oh-so-fast. If your loved ones have disappointed you, maybe it's because they didn't know how you felt at the time. We aren't mindreaders; we're just parents who do the best we can, as you will. Let some of the anger go. Life is too short.
Mother of Bride
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
I don't want to wear white. I don't care about inviting people I haven't seen in years yet knew me since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I refuse to invite over 70 people. I don't want to carry a bouquet of gardenias even though my mother wants to buy them for me. We are paying for it all ourselves 'cause we're independent adults. I don't like VERA WANG! Wedding ettiquette to me is just the freakin golden rule. Thank you father. How many hail marys is that?
beckaxing
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Damn, woman! Why are you an anal retentive, snotty little bitch? when did this happen to you? You're prissy and shitty and full of yourself and so selfabsorbed I think you swallow yourself each day and then shit and renew! ACk! I don't want to be in this shit of a wedding! GET ME OUT!!!
cannotsay
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
I told my future husband's little sister that her boyfriend was going to propose.
And he really wasn't.
Serves her right for telling me my dress was obviously cheap and poorly made.
the bridal sister in law from hell
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
My wedding is next month, anyways my man was away for the weekend and i got really drunk - ended up make a big mistake with a guy who lives across the hall from us... and it gets worse, there were three of his guy friends there and it was a bit of a free-for-all... they took lots of pics which was fun @ the time but now ive found out they are on a porn site... that i know my man views - arghhhh
Claire
NY, Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Fuck Weddings. I'm a bridesmaid for the quintessential bridezilla, my fucking engagement was called off and she does not care in the slightest, Ive spend well over $1000 on her stupid wedding, now shes TOLD me she expects $400+ on a gift and she has turned into a total vapid bitch 24/7, I cant stand to be in the same room as her.
Ladies listen to me CUT THIS BULLSHIT OUT Post Traumatic Bridal Syndrome you were right about 1 thing only: that NOBODY gives a crap that your getting married, you know why because it matters to NOBODY BUT YOU!
Fuck weddings and the horse they rode in on.
Everybody run, the bridesmaid has got a gun
Saturday, March 27, 2004
I asked my bridesmaids to sign a contract regarding my expectations for the wedding. Really I still think it was a good idea. No guilt here!
rrg
Cincinnati, OH Wednesday, March 24, 2004
I've been reading these confessions for awhile now and I'm sooooo glad that my hubby and I eloped! Real simple, Monday morning, went to get the marriage license, off to the office where they marry you and that's it. We sent out announcements to family and friends that week. Very simple and easy, no family fights, no months of stress planning a wedding and we saved our money! We had a house and business within 2 years. Yay us! PS My parents were happy too!
Bride of 13 years and counting!
Monday, March 15, 2004
I had a meltdown last night over inviatations
pyschomurph
NY Monday, March 15, 2004
So, I have been reading this web site since I began planning my wedding. All I can say is that I have no "wedding colors", "wedding flowers", or "gift registary". We have yet to mail out invitations, (everyone knows by word of mouth) and have yet to even be asked what we want as gifts (and we don't really care). We are paying for everything ourselves, without complaint I might add. As for the dress, it will be more memorable than any white fluffy ball gown, if for nothing else because my mother is making it. Our ceremony is outside, in a wooded grove with no lights, microphones or red carpet. Our best friends are preforming our ceremony.My love and I are walking down the isle together, I will be barefoot. The reception lunch will include strawberries our daughet and I pick fresh the day before. We will be surrounded by those who love and support us. NOTHING is as important as the vows we will share that day. Not the dresses, the reception, not the gifts. I guess it's all in your point of view. I am so glad mine is simple.
HippyBride
Peoria, IL Thursday, March 11, 2004
I have 5 sisters, I am the oldest, but got married 2nd. My wedding wasn't anything like I ever dreamed, I just lost my job, and my honey didn't had much money at all. But we managed, maybe we didn't had all things that you see at the weddings, and my flowers cost about$70. That is not what bothered me the most! It was my family! No one cared! Not my mom & dad none of my 3 brothers and 5 sisters. My sister (the cake decorator( professional) was supposed to make my cake, It looked nothing like the picture I gave her!!! She even charged $ for underskirt I borrowed from her!
Now my younger sisters are getting married, and I am expected to do practically everything for them, and I do... the flowers, picking out the dresses, decorating reception place & church, picking up the dresses from alteration. Helping dressing them, doing their make up & etc. the list is really long! But I am still bitter that on my wedding day not one aoul came to me and said: YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!
For my other sister, all the relatives came from onather state, for mine no one even sent a card! Not that I am not lovable or some meanie, it's just that NO ONE CARED!
I just wish that I at least had some nice photos from that day! But guess what... My photograher just plainly sucked!
BUT, there is a happy ending, after all...
I am happily married to my honey for 9 years, and we are still in love! So, girls, my moral is: wedding here today gone tomorrow!
But, if you have true love, you'll have the best wedding of them all!!! Good luck to all of you!
sister of the brides
Hood River, OR Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Confused,
There is no, and I repeat NO ettiquette about nail polish other than "Maybe this isn't the day to break out the new bottle of day glo Prison Orange polish."
French manicures are favored by a lot of brides and bridesmaids because it looks the most natural and doesn't clash with any dress color. Anyone who tells you differently either has WAY too much time on their hands or they are trying to suck more money out of you. Just relax, get a french manicure and nicely ask your bridemaids to either get a french manicure, a light pink shade or simply go natural. I personally promise you that other than your weddig close ups of the ring and the bouquest, no one will even notice what kind of manicures y'all have.
Ain't no thang
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
There are so many dumb traditions surrounding weddings, and nobody seems to know where they come from. My FSIL told me that the bride should have the longest dress, the MOH the 2nd longest, and all the other maids dresses should be shorter still. She didn't know where the tradition came from, but I do. The tradition originally applied to ye olden royalty at court. Only the queen got to wear a train, and all of the lesser ladies got skirts that hovered around their ankles. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Contrary to popular belief, being a bride doesn't make you a queen or a princess - not even for a day. The MOH and bridesmaids should have modest, non-white dresses at the most flattering length, though a train is inapropriate. The rule about only the bride having a french manicure is even dumber still. As though people will be looking at the bridesmaids' hands when there's a woman in a giant white dress nearby. Puh-lease. I've seen whole bridal parties with french manicures, and nobody stole the bride's spotlight or got struck with a bolt of lightening from on high.
bridesmaid-turned-bride
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Does anyone know the proper ettiquette for the bridesmaid's nails. I have heard that if I have a French manicure, they should be painted. They shouldn't have the same as me. Is this true? Will I look like a Bridezilla if I ask them to not get a french? I know one of my girls wanted one.
Confused
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Wedding is 1 month from today and hardly anything has been bought off the registry. That's right, I check. Repeatedly. Hardly anyone RSVP'd on time and I have a feeling all the no's aren't going to bother with gifts. Greedy greedy me.
argh
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
My so called Uncle, who made it clear that he's rather be anywhere else than at my wedding, (BTW: I didn't invite him, my mother did) kept pestering me about when the cake was going to be served. I told him he didn't need to wait for the cake to leave and then shoo'd him away like the little buzzing shit swarming fly that he is.
Misstori
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Farted on the middle of the vows...
Stinky
CA Monday, March 08, 2004
i called to ask my mom if she thought her dress was too informal in light of the fact that everyone else would be wearing tuxes/ballgown type outfits. she lives in FLA, where everybody dresses more casually...argh! so now she's going out to shop again..she had a really hard time even finding a green dress that fit her...and now here she goes again. she forgave me, but i felt like bridezilla,,,i was just trying to save her from embarrasment later. i imagined her saying to me after the fact, "why didn't you warn me it was more formal?" i tried to be gentle, as she's really sensitive, but she cried anyway. i feel awful.
ae
Sunday, March 07, 2004
First of all, "Post Traumatic Bridal Syndrome," ... jealousy, greed, passive-agressive behavior and indifference are just of few of the traits YOU displayed in your insolent, behind-the-back jab at your bridal party, your family, your husband's family, and your guests. Second, the behavior you say was displayed by these "loved ones" of yours is NOT typical of the stuff EVERY bride should expect to see pre-wedding or otherwise! Of course not NEARLY every bride/wedding is as "hoity-toity" as you/yours sounds. Private clubs? Seven course meals? No children to share in your special day? Sounds to me like YOU are the one who needs a reality check ... and sounds like you need to learn to relax and roll with the punches. You invite these people to your wedding and then call them rednecks? I dare say, Princess Beeyotch, sounds to me like you are a gold digger who invited people to your wedding with the sole hope that you might receive gifts from them. You obviously didn't invite these fine folks simply because you loved them. People have families and sometimes can't get sitters. The majority of people in America don't frequent private clubs and truly don't know how they are expected to behave in such "stuffed shirt" establishments. Shoot! Most people don't even know which damned FORK to use first! Sounds like you had unrealistic expectations for your day. The first was your expectation that the day would be flawless according to what YOU had mapped out. I am a singer of weddings, so I've seen a mess of them. I know that nothing (and I mean NOTHING) goes as planned across the board. I've seen a ton of things go wrong at weddings. More often than not, I've also seen brides take things in stride and handle everything with heart, grace, and tact ... much unlike the way it seems you have handled your own day of days. Damn, girl! No wonder it took you 40 years to find a husband! If I were as mean-spirited as you, I would EXPECT it to take me AT LEAST as long to find a man who would put up with me and my crappy attitude! For the record, I have been a bridesmaid in three weddings, also. To each wing-ding, ALL bridesmaids contributed willingly and cheerfully ... because the brides were true friends who sincerely and truly meant it when they said, "I just want you all to be there to share in what will surely be one of the most precious days of my life." We planned beautiful showers, didn't flinch at the price of the gowns or accessories, and delighted in helping the brides throughout the entire process ... including helping the bride gather her things. Know why? Because the brides were unfailingly kind and courteous to us and because they kept their heads (as well as their manners) about them and ASKED for what they needed. Sounds to me like you never asked your bridesmaids to grab what was most likely a vast collection of unneccessary b.s. (certainly it must have been thus for a high maint. chick such as yourself) from the greenroom at the church. God bless your poor, dear husband when it comes to playing these garbage guessing games with you! I'm willing to bet he's not a mind reader, either. You, my dear lady, should be ashamed of yourself! Please! Show your post to your mother. I'll bet she'll be ashamed of the inconsiderate, ungrateful twit you have become! While you're at it, go ahead and show it to your mother-in-law and your "redneck" guests. I'm sure they'll appreciate it. Grow up!
three times a bridesmaid
Saturday, March 06, 2004
No one is buying us presents! I am not having a shower. Our wedding is 21 days away, and 5 things have been bought: all the glasses. Big deal. 100 invitations, I've gotten like half back, most of them no's, and no freaken' presents! My parents are spending 25k on this wedding, and no one has the decency to send a freaking present!
A Little Greedy
Saturday, March 06, 2004
I am so sick of my and my FH's family dictating our wedding. I am so sick of it I would love to call the whole thing off. I have cashed in all my retirement savings fund (at a tax loss I might add) to pay for it. I just lost my job and frankly I am now in ka-ka bacuse i dared suggest that the family members who are declaring personal bankruptcy to attend the wedding are being idiculous. my mother thinks I am a selfish human being as I want a small ceremony and don't want to invite all the aunts. She thinks it is ridiculous because we have been engaged for two years we don't have money saved. Might I also mention me and my future hubby are paying for this event that I agreed to host in a different city than the one I live in as my mother didn't want to come to the city in which we live. She also has turned it into a giant competition between his family and them. I could scream.
Then my future in-laws whom I quite like are driving me batty. They seem to think the whole thing is a giant gift grab. In fact I am now so fed up with being manipulated into other peoples ideas of acceptability that I am not putting our parents names on the invitations (no one is making an offer to pay and I wouldn't accept if they did) and I am requesting no gifts be given.
My advice to future brides is to elope!!
Selfish bride <email>
Canada, Thursday, March 04, 2004
C-
Ah-frickin' MEN!I hope things are better now, BTW. I think that girls who grow up feeling under-noticed (middle child, "the quiet one" etc. ) are the most susceptible to Egomaniac Bride syndrome. They seem to feel that it's their one-shot at the spot light and hold onto it with all their might. Example: A girl in my sorority at college had felt in her sister's shadow all her life. She got engaged "first" (after she told the poor schmuck to propose in the next 12 months or get lost) and suddenly the whole damned college YEAR was all about HER wedding, HER dress, HER bridesmaids dresses...I was a bridesmaid and I can tell you, it got pretty boring, pretty fast.
And god forbid anyone else in the dorm had a crisis or (even worse!) got engaged too!! What topped it off was even though her father got layed-off just after the engagment and it became clear that money was a problem, instead of either scaling-down or pushing back the date and working a summer job, she insisted on getting married that June (hello? expensive?) and proceeded to bitch and moan publicly in front of her poor mother about the 30 grand wedding that another (richer) family had thrown for their daughter at the same church. Her mom was mortified.
I haven't seen her much since graduation, but I that she was just as bad when she got pregnant with the family's "first" grandchild. Oh GAWD. First Bridezilla, then Momzilla!!
Been there...
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Bridesmaid-Turned-Bride-
I love you! Amen. Can I be your friend? I have been a bridesmaid many times, some to wonderful girls who were wonderful brides, some to wonderful girls who would have an occasional but understandable lapse into Weird Bride Behavior and one who literally was Dr. Jekyll and Monster Bride. I was the MOH and she was mean, cruel, insensitve and absolutely horrifying. I had just lost my job and broken up with a pretty serious boyfriend; spent hours on the phone with her talking about tablecloths, shoes, the average highs and lows expected on her wedding date, and she never once, literally not once, asked me how I was coping through all of my personal issues. Once I just brought up how my job search was coming and she said that everything isn't about me to which I responded, yes, you make that quite clear. Her wedding date was referred to as her special day and if I ever said "dress" I was quickly reminded that she was wearing a "gown". Whenever I hear people talk about their special day, how they don't want their bridesmaids to steal their spotlight, etc. all I can think is what did you miss out on in life that you need so badly to make the day special. You are marrying the supposed love of your life, the father of your future family, all of your friends and loved ones have showered you with gifts, have travelled from all over the country (at no small expense) in order to bear witness to this special occasion but that's not special enough? You have to do something to make it more special? It just depresses me to see this good women turn into needy attention seeking freakshows. Bridesmaid-Turned-Bride, you have hit the nail on the head, you are being honored, you realize how lucky you are, and your fiance is a very lucky man. I hope you will be very very happy together.
C
Thursday, March 04, 2004
I am silently cursing everyone I know for "forcing" me to throw a lavish party, tying up every last dollar we have in order to "validate" our friendships. I have been reduced to feeling annoyed at people who I know will stiff me, yet will be hurt if they don't get an invite. Do I HAVE to invite cheap people????
rosie
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Ladies....please... it's
A-I-S-L-E, *not* I-S-L-E! Aisle:noun-a passage between rows of seats. Isle:noun-an island. If you're walking down an 'isle' instead of an 'aisle',I hope you have patient guests!
La Pedantic
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Feel so bad-- it's not your fault. It's tragic, and really a bad coincidence, but it's not your fault. Reach out to your sister, acknowledge her loss, and try to be there for her as much as you can. In 30 years you won't remember who said what or who wore what to your wedding, but you'll remember being there for each other when you needed it.
Not a bride
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
I thought I was doing a good thing by not smothering anybody in my wedding. I didn't want anybody to feel like they had to be as excited about it as me, and I wanted especially my friends to know that I was still their friend and not some transformed Bride Monster. For instance, I'm not making my bridesmaids pay for some overpriced rag. Instead I am making their skirts and they are picking out inexpensive tops individually (I gave them a style and asked them to pick out one they would wear again). And wearing whatever shoes they like. I want it to be fun for them, not some expensive chore that leaves them never talking to me again. I thought this was a good thing..... until my father pointed out that nobody in my family has any idea what is going on and all feel alianated because I don't seem to want to talk about the wedding to anyone - like I'm selfishly keeping it a secret or something. It isn't that I don't want to - I'm practically bursting at the seams wanting to! But I figured if they wanted to know they would ask - and that they wouldn't appreciate me forcing information on them if they didn't. *Sigh* Try to be nice and this is what it gets you! So I sent them all a long letter with all of the details, swatches of fabric, pictures of the wedding site (all of which the computer-litterate can find on our website), etc. I hope that helps and I can keep talking to my friends about their lives and rest assured they know what is going on in mine.
PassiveBride
CO Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Response to Sandra...Iknow how you feel..have a good friend marrying this year too. I have shared so much with this woman and I don't understand how weird and secretive I want to be about wedding details. I feel it has become very competitive and that is so ridiculous..I mean unsless you are doing something off the wall entirely there is only so much to choose from in terms of range of ideas. I am going to try and connect more with her emotionally and be honest..good luck!
anon
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
my sister married 7 months ago after a three year engagement. I was her bridesmaid and a non-person for a significant part of the year prior to the wedding. I was delighted to help although I found the details boring at times. Although I always swore I would never be in this position I have found myself engaged to this wonderful man and a date has been set for late september. My ex-bridezilla sister has become obsesses with having a baby. Although I asked her to wait a month she announced last week that she was pregnant.The due date was to co-incide. I felt so upset I think I had a bit of a breakdown. I said very mean things. Anyway I was coming around to the idea and had started to feel very guilty when I hear she has had a miscarriage! oh my god I feel so awful it is unbelieveable. I want to call the whole thing off and just die...please help seriously upset
feel so horrible
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
One of my close girlfriends is getting married the same year as I. I've had all of my clever ideas (ie: colors, dress, flowers, bridemaids dresses, engagement ring) thought out years ago. Now I'm discovering that she's using most of my ideas in her own wedding. Very frustrating. I feel like I can't tell her anything, and that my own wedding plans are being cheapened. I'm so angry I could scream! Ok, there - I screamed.
Sandra
Vancouver, BC Monday, March 01, 2004
I am obsessed with china patterns, roses, diamonds and registering. I am Bridezilla! My dad calls me "Monica" becasue I am an obsessive-compulsive planning freak just like the annal-retentive character on my favorite show "Friends."
superbride <email>
cincinnati, oh Saturday, February 28, 2004
First wedding: everything.
Second wedding: I am reliably informed that I had no Zilla whatsoever-- except about the cake. Apparently I was adamant that the second wedding cake would not be round or tiered or have little plastic people on it. The groom talked me down to a huge sheet cake and a small identifiably Wedding-Cake. I have no memory of this but I believe him.
maggie mae
Thursday, February 26, 2004
The way some brides talk about their bridesmaids on this and other sites is amazing. It's amazing that these are the women you consider to be your dearest friends. For many bridesmaids, the so-called honor of being a bridesmaids is a privilege that is paid for in money and time. In addition to a $100+ dress that she will never wear again, the bridesmaid is often expected to cough up for dyed-to-match shoes, the bride's bachelorette party, shower gifts, wedding gifts, plane tickets when travel is required, lodging, hair stylist, make-up artist and sundry-other wedding related incidentals. And she has to put up with the bride's wedding-obsession and previously unknown control-freak tendencies. What an honor.
I think it would behoove all of us brides to remember that the person receiving the honor is us. We have asked our dearest friends to do us the honor of standing beside us at one of the most important ceremonies of our lives. That, really, is what the bridesmaid is saying yes to. As to our dear friends dressing to match the floral arrangements and tablecloths; or providing a pretty backdrop for our big white dresses; or acting as unpaid gofers, train-arrangers and midnight therapists - this our friends do out of the kindness of their hearts, because they love us.
When I was a bridesmaid, I was so happy for my friends, I would have walked off a cliff if they asked me to, and they were kind enough never to ask too much. My mother and her friends say that in their day, the bride's family always paid for or provided the bridesmaids' gowns. (My mother was maid of honor to a woman whose family didn't have a lot of money, so her mother made the bride's gown, and the attendants' gowns.) They don't quite understand how that tradition got changed.
Modern brides say "But I can't afford 8 $200 teal satin dresses!" Then maybe you shouldn't have 8 bridesmaids. Or maybe you should pick less expensive dresses, or let your bridesmaids wear their own dresses. People get so caught up in wanting their wedding to be "special" that they forget that what truly makes any event special is when the guests and participants are all having a good time - which is much less likely to happen if the bride has bullied and brow-beaten her attendants into throwing big bachelorette parties or showers, and purchasing expensive dresses and shoes that they will never wear again.
Now that I am a bride, I'm trying to make the bridesmaid process as easy as I can for my friends. I want everyone to have fun. This wedding is not about what my fiancé and I can get, it's about what we can give. And the thing we would most like to give is a wonderful celebration of our nuptials, a "thank you" to all of our family and friends who support, love and encourage us.
Bridesmaid-Turned-Bride
Thursday, February 26, 2004
I'm getting a big fat 2 or 3 carat diamond in my engagment ring- but it's a cultured one! I got so mad when I found out about the DeBeers' price-fixing, near-zilch resale value of diamonds, AND the real possibility of getting a "blood diamond" without knowing it, that when WIRED magazine had an article about the new process to MAKE diamonds (kind of like how they make cultured pearls) that I told my darling that I wanted a cultered on instead!
So I'm going to have a big fat rock on my finger and we'll have WAY more $$ to spend on our house and honeymoon. AND I'm NOT TELLING ANYONE!! I'll just let my sisters and siter in laws drool over it and think my honey's the best (which he is!)
Physics say it's real!
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Thanks for the advice. I think maybe I should have a talk with all of them at once that way it doesn't seem like I'm ganging up on them. One girl has already paid but the other four haven't. I hate suggesting a payment plan but the dresses were only $150 and that included alterations. I'm getting married May 1 and I just want everything to be paid for ahead of time so we're not in debt afterward. Thanks for the advice. I hope it goes well.
New at This
Thursday, February 26, 2004
to NEW AT THIS: Did ANY of your bridesmaids verbally state they would pay you back? Beware of the ones that didn't. I just went through this for my bridesmaids undergarments and shoes, and now is NOT the time to be nice. This is your credit card debt and credit payment history and rating that you're dealing with, and your fiance is seeing it from a perspective that you can't or won't. You have to see this strictly as a financial transaction, not being nice to help out your friends. My suggestion is to make arrangements with the bridal shop to pick up the dresses yourself instead of calling the girls when they come in. Notify each attendant that you have their dress, and when you get paid X dollars (or write up and sign a payment plan) is when they get their dress. Otherwise, they're out of the wedding. I know it sounds harsh, but if any of them flake out on you, at least you'll have the dress and you can sell it on eBay and recoup some of the cost to pay off your credit card debt. DO NOT ruin your credit rating just because you don't want to approach them about what they legally owe you. Trust me, one day is not worth it - if you have to rearrange the bridal party at the last minute, so be it. This situation is going to test their true commitment to and friendship with you. Now you can see why brides are forced to become bridezillas.......
Post Traumatic Bridal Syndrome
Thursday, February 26, 2004
I lost my $5000.00 diamond ring on purpose because it was ugly and cheap looking. I told my guy I lost it I fishing with his family, but I really just pond it for the wedding things we need. Like honeymoon. and I did get the ring I did want it was cheaper...
mtbrideconfessor
Thursday, February 26, 2004
I'm hoping someone has a suggestion on how to deal with this. A few weeks ago my bridesmaids and I went shoppng for dresses and found one they all loved and are dying to wear. It was really inexpensive, which was cool but because we're so close to the wedding, (it's just a couple months away)the dresses had to be paid for in full and no one could afford to pay for theirs that day so I offered to put them on my credit card. Now I'm worried I won't get paid back. Anyone have a suggestion on how to politely remind them that I need to be paid back? They all knew when the dresses were ordered that this was the case.
Does this make me a bad person? My future husband is freaking out because I paid it and we have so much else to pay for. Please help!
New at This
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
My only bridal sin is thinking my wedding was as important to everyone else as it was to me and my husband. Brides, take it from me and learn this lesson VERY early: NO ONE but you and your fiance really, truly, sincerely and honestly give a shit about your "special day". Everyone else (groomsmen, Bridesmaids and guests) will see it as a free meal in exchange for spending money on an outfit, a present (if you're lucky) and wasting 12 hours of their time because they felt obligated. As soon as the meal is over and the cake is cut, they'll disappear from the reception faster than you can say "You may kiss the bride". And DO NOT expect your bridesmaids to voluntarily help you on your big day; you'll have to micromanage the tasks that should be done automatically while you're busy getting pictures taken, etc. For example, do not assume your bridesmaids will arrange to have your pre-wedding articles collected from the dressing area and kept in a safe place. My bridesmaids cleaned everything out of the dressing room at the church except for MY stuff - PURSE, CAR KEYS, dress steamer, makeup, etc. Didn't bother to ASK me if I needed help with them either - my husband and I had to go back to the church at 10AM the next morning and retrieve them ourselves. And if one of your bridesmaids decides to get wasted on 5 drinks at the rehersal dinner the night before (that you're buying at $40/drink at a private club for top-shelf liquor), be prepared for a bridesmaid that shows up late to get her hair done the next morning and ends up puking at the reception and looking like hell at the bridal table. Silly me for being gracious and having her bar bill added to the reception tab. Also, if you spend an average of $250 per dress on custom-dyed silk material, be prepared to be caught off guard when the bridesmaids complain about paying $150 to have the dresses made, even though the average BM dress costs the same or more. And when the videographer at the wedding reception asks your hungover BM to record a video message to the bride and groom, take comfort knowing her statement of "I don't know what to say" has been captured for eternity. Remember that just because you went out of your way to make sure her wedding shower was very special when she got married just 6 months before, she is not obligated to say something meaningful and sincere (like the rest of your guests did). As for the redneck relatives that defy your request for "no children" and bring their 3 year old brat from hell to the wedding & wedding reception (in jeans and a dirty t-shirt), be prepared for the child to run around the tables to the point where the wait staff ask for him to be removed. Oh, and don't miss the lecture from these same people as they're leaving the reception (with a full belly from the 7 course meal) because there was no place for the child to sit!!! Don't be pissed at the wedding photographer because he only took ONE shot of you walking up the isle with your dad when you were both looking away from the camera. After all, it only took you and your dad 10 minutes to walk up the 30 foot isle due to your dad's lung disease. Clicking another picture is a little much to ask for when you're only spending $3,000 on a wedding album and the photographer was named "Photographer of the Year" in your state just 2 short years ago. And if your mother-in-law insists on a wedding breakfast the next morning, do not, I REPEAT, do not postpone your honeymoon in order to accomodate her request. Get the hell out of the state and/or country and don't look back.
Let me say that I was not a bridezilla by any means. This was mine and my husband's first (and last) wedding and I'm 40 years old. I put a lot of time and effort into planning my vintage wedding and if I had it to do over again, I'd take back control of the wedding shower and reception from my mother-in-law. I can see now that she planned both events in order to make up for what SHE wanted 35 years ago and never got, all the while telling us she's the ultimate party planner. My best advice to you, bride-to-be, is to take control of every single aspect of your wedding instead of trusting it to someone else. It's a lot of work, but in the end, you'll know who was responsible and not hold any grudges afterwards. Last but not least, be prepared to see your friends, family and guests in a COMPLETELY new light. Jealousy, greed, passive-agressive behavior and indifference are just of few of the traits that will inevitably make an apperance on your wedding day. Weddings (like holidays) bring out the absolute WORST in people, and don't think your wedding will be any different. I am SO glad it is over. I'm so happy to be married to the last good (and gorgeous) man on earth. If I had to do it all over again, I would do it in a nanosecond, simply because he's worth it.
Jesus, no wonder women turn into bridezilla in the months/weeks before their wedding.......it's your only defense!!!!!!
Post Traumatic Bridal Syndrome
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Quasi-Bridezilla you are not alone. I am planning a nice elegant party that does not include kids. My family, which includes 15 children under 6 is understanding. FH family, which contains only one child is throwing a fit. FH aunt had the audacity to call and ask if her daughter could be a flower girl! FMIL and gradnmother are more concerned with the one child(my FH cousin) than with how much they have hurt his feelings. Why is my FH cousin the focus of our wedding??!! Grandparents have even said they won't come!
fed up
Monday, February 23, 2004
The only thing my groom was allowed to choose for the wedding was the color of his socks.
sabella
Sunday, February 22, 2004
Asked a good friend of 23 years(who is a guy) of mine to stand on my side. Then listen to him bitch and groan about his ex that is also my attendant. How he cannot stand being in the same f*cking room with her and other obscenities. I asked him if he could be civil for me-he said not hardly. So I booted him and asked him to be an usher. He has not speoken to me since. There is a reason why men should only be groomsmen and ushers. Not bride's attendants. I wish I would have never asked him and just kept him as a friend.
Just me
Monday, February 16, 2004
Thank you "too many cooks"!! At last, I know I am not alone. I must say, you are handling it a lot better than I am. I will definietly try to use some of your suggestions TO SHUT PEOPLE UP! ;O)But one thing that I have begun to do that is working wonders is KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT ... if anyone asks anything, all I say is "I don't know ... haven't gotten that far yet." I mean, come on people, my wedding is nearly a year and a half away - CHILL OUT!
PRBride
CT Monday, February 16, 2004
I had a lovely $25,000 wedding and I wore a beautiful $5,000 dress; problem was, I got real nervous and I drank too much at the reception. I ended up vomiting all over the front of my dress while on the dance floor... laying on the dance floor. NOTE: red wine and brocoli chicken clash with white.
Susan
Thursday, February 12, 2004
I'm debating if I should pull out Bridezilla claws and I could use some advice from others who may have had this experience.
In a nutshell; I have 6 ladies in my party, one of which is the Matron of Honor as she is my best friend since birth and married (hence the Matron). Two other ladies of the 6 are Maids of Honor as I felt I didn't want to choose between the two and they both liked the idea of sharing the title. The other three ladies are bridesmaids due to individual situations; one lives out of state, one works like a mad person, and one was just a good friend who I wanted to include on this day.
Here's the delimma....
The "good friend" proclaimed herself "maid of honor" and demanded to that the bridal party be sent down the isle pretty much based on rank of friendship.
What is it about weddings that make normal people go mental?
I did inform "good friend" on the spot that no one is going to be "ranked" or displayed on the isle that way. But I didn't say anything about her proclimation as there was another member of the bridal party with us and I didn't want to make the drama worse by have the innocent bystander be uncomfortable.
It's been a few days now and I'm still a bit in shock as how to handle this properly. The rest of the bridal party have found this to be funny, but are a little miffed as the woman who made the proclomation hasn't done anything to help myself or the other ladies.
I have 24 days until the wedding.
Suggestions? Advice? Anyone!!!!
Tory
Chicago, IL Thursday, February 12, 2004
When I told one of my friends from work that I got engaged, she immediately asked me if she was going to be a bridesmaid. I told her probably not, but over the next few months, she still called me weekly and said things like, "If you put me in your wedding, I will throw the best bachelorette party", or "I need to start my diet now if You are getting married in October". Well, I finally got sick of this because the truth is, she was never going to be in my wedding. So Itold her this and she hasn't really talked to me since. Do people really do this?!?! I actually felt bad! Also, we are getting married on what happens to be my cousins 12th birthday. Everytime I see her, she corners me and tells me how much fun the Birthday/Wedding will be, and how we should probably get a seperate table for her gifts too. I finally had to sit her down and tell her it was my wedding day, and she will have plenty more birthdays, but I only get one wedding. She cried! Does this make me a bitch?
S
Sunday, February 08, 2004
From the minute my parents and I began discussing the budget, I was ADAMANT about having a VERY pricy wedding gown. I wanted Vera Wang or Reem Acra. Something drop dead beautiful. My mom and I argued about her even suggesting Jessica McClintock or Davids. The horror!! We have more money than that!! Anyway, my mom then said, well, 1-2 thousand should be good. I agreed, that's a fair price. At the bridal salon, however, I fell in love with a 4k dress. My mom loved it too. SO we got it. I was so happy, I found the most beautiful dress EVER, and it looked GREAT.
It's now 2 months later. I don't like it. I don't want to wear it. 4k for a stupid dress that's big and poufy and looks dumb, and I have to wear it. 4k on one dress for one day. I'm an asshole.
self-confessed brat
Sunday, February 08, 2004
i wore a 4m train with lace all along my arms and a veil the same length of my train
sylv <email>
Friday, February 06, 2004
My sister is also one of my bridesmaids. She is in highschool and going through a punk rock phase. She currently has blue hair. She is constantly altering her appearance for attention. What pisses me off is that when I ask her if she would be willing to go to a somewhat normal color(just for the duration of the wedding) she goes off on me.She even wants to dye it purple to match her bouquet.I can't get her to understand that MY wedding is not her moment to shine. I don't think that I am being a bridezilla because, I don't want her appearance to take focus off of the ceremony or me on my wedding day.
evil sister
cincinnati, Friday, February 06, 2004
Listen. I just wanted a nice wedding. I read in many places that an average wedding costs over $20,000. I thought, well, my parents make above average money. So why are they offering me a below average wedding? I don't mean this as a dig on anyone else. It was my immediate thought. And to try and defend myself, I must say, that NO ONE has thought of my wedding spending to be extravagant. My wedding WON'T be extravagant. Yes, it will be very NICE, but not CRAZY. I posted on here, initially, an anonymous reaction and behavior, certainly not knowing I would be flamed in such a manner. Thank you to those who understand this. Some of you are so quick to judge me, without knowing my whole situation! I just wanted a nice wedding. And I didn't think my parents knew how much a normal wedding costs. Now they know. And even though I DID spend a lot on some things, I saved on others. My soon-to-be mother-in-law is making the favors, I made the save the dates, didn't spend a lot on flowers, etc.
oops
Thursday, February 05, 2004
I am SO frickin' tired of having one person's weight problem dictate what I choose for bridesmaids dresses!!
I have pretty sensible ideas ( at least knee length, covered upper arms, no plunging necklines) but trying to be considerate, keep costs low AND try to find a dress that comes a 24x for under $200 is IMPOSSIBLE!!
I went to a wedding last month where the bride and her sisters were all size 6 or less-and I am so envious at how easy it must have been to dress them all. And forget asking them to just find their own- I'm terrified of what that same girl will come up with (beads, feather, chiffon, completely unfinished the night before--all are possible).
I won't say anything to her about it--but I am sitting here and feeling really really EVIL and pissed.
Sick of 'em all
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Initially I thought that I wouldn't care what my girls wore so I just told them they could pick what ever colors/fabrics/styles they wanted, I would make the dresses for them if they wanted me to."Just think Swanky-Glam" I said. Until... One of my gals e-mailed me to tell me she had designed her "perfect dress" and wanted me to make it for her. She said she had decided on silver taffeta, drop-waisted full gathered skirt, sleeveless,(In winter, in New England?!?), a PLAID BOW TIE with a matching stripe sewn across the bust and a black blazer. I thought she was kidding until she showed up at my house with SKETCHES! I started to giggle until I realised I had hurt her feelings... SHE WAS SERIOUS! :0 Now I've designed a dress I would prefer her to wear, it's got the "swanky-lounge" feel I was going for, but how do I take my word back? Does anyone know of any pygmie dart-blowers for hire? Things might go better if she's unconcious first...
Eve_L_Bride
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
PR- I completely understand. Me too- isn't it insanity making? I've actually gotten angry at my darling for refusing to elope!
So instead- he's now in charge of all the food and alcohol. That'll learn him! ;-)
If it will help, here's a few sanity-saving things I've started doing:
#1- I got an answering machine and wedding-specific email address. I TURN BOTH RINGER AND VOLUME OFF 2 hours before I go to bed each night, and I direct all my family/friends/vendors email to the wedding email address. I only check both during my "wedding office hours" each day and return calls (if they are worthy of the effort) at that time. And yes, I've started sleeping A LOT better.
#2- My stock answer to anyone who is graceless enough to bitch about the date we chose is now: "Oh, I'm sorry it's not a good time for you, but I'm afraid it can't be changed. I do hope you'll be able to come to our open house this Xmas, I'd love to have some time to catch up with you" If they keep bitching, I just give a vague "mm-hmm" and change the topic. Again...and again...and again....
#4- I've told the parents of my 10+ self-appointed flower girls/ring bearers/junior bridesmaids (ICK! I HATE junior bridesmaids!) That we are adopting the French tradition of "Mesdames et Messieurs" That's where a whole flock of white-clad kids precede the bridal party down the aisle strewing flowers to bring good luck to the happy couple. (The parents have been told to just go buy a white outfit at Ross or Sears- why spend big $$?)
The pre-teen would-be Jr. Bridesmaids are going to either be candle lighters or help shepherd the littler ones in and will wear white (again, Ross, Sears, whatever) with wide pastel satin sashes that I'm making for them.
No one's left out, so far everyone is charmed and the proud parents will have a posed "Bride and flock o' kinder" picture for their scrap books. And best of all- no poor kid has to walk down the aisle alone or stand there during the service bored out of their minds just to make their mom happy.
"Too many cooks"
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
I got married two years ago in a very small, informal, civil ceremony in my husband's hometown in Europe. The wedding was very nice, just what we wanted, no fuss no muss. It wasn't the first marriage for either of us, so we didn't think it was appropriate to register for gifts or do any wedding type hoopla. I thought I was happy with it that way, THOUGHT being the operative word.
So I never had a "real" wedding, but a friend of mine is going through that, I confess I'm turning into jealous-friend-of-the-bride-zilla, if there is such a category of beast.
I AM POSITIVELY GREEN WITH ENVY! She comes from a family where the parents are still happily married after 30-plus years. She is marrying into a warm and generous family who just can't find enough ways to express their gratitute to her for choosing marrying their son. Witness the following:
Bride's future sister-in-law is well off and threw them a posh engagement party. Bride-to-be registered at two places in anticipation of engagement gifts, which apparently are no longer optional.
Next month, future sister-in-law is having another, equally affluent friend of hers throw a surprise bridal shower at a neighborhood french bistro. Future sister-in-law admonished my friend for not having registered for any "expensive stuff" in time for the engagement party so friend went to a few other places and registered for some "high ticket" items.
Bride-to-be confessed to me that her future in-laws may be concerned that they aren't doing a receiving line, since that when cash gifts are often presented.
I know no one else who deserves more happiness than my friend and her husband-to-be, so why am I so jealous?
JealousFriendofBride-zilla
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
About 2 years ago I met the man of my dreams. We both knew right away that we were going to be together for the rest of our lives. As cliche as it sounds it was love at first sight. Well, about 2 months ago we found out that I was pregnant. We were shocked at first, but decided this is something we wanted to happen in the future and thought why not now. Anyway, we only had 5 weeks to plan a wedding. We wanted a big wedding and it was important that all of our friends and family were there. My parents live across the country so I had to plan the wedding, 200 guests, all by myself.(my fiance works out of town)It has taken all of my time to put this together. Not forgettting that I am pregnant and tired ALL THE TIME. Unfortunately the past month has been crazy so I haven't had the time I had 2 months ago and my bridemaids are mad at me. They have put together a shower and bachelorette party for me and I am so grateful to have them in my life. Apparently they don't think that I am. They say that I don't call them as much. I feel like they don't understand where I am coming from. Planning a wedding is hard work, especially when you do it on your own. It's not like I have been planning a year... it has been 1 month. That is it. They keep calling me Bridezilla and ungrateful and it really hurts my feelings. I am grateful for everything they are doing for me and I told them that too. It's just that I was really busy. Am I really a bad friend like they are making me out to be?
Bridezilla???
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Okay, I tried really hard not to be a Bridezilla, and I wonder now if maybe I succeeded TOO much?
My wedding was torn out of my hands and thrown together. I really mean that : THROWN together. I harte planning, and I hate being the center of attention, so maybe I'm just feeling horribly ungrateful now.
My sister, when she announced her engagement, got a lovely engagement party. Relatives came from all over. She was thrown a wonderful braidal shower, and had a gorgeous wedding. Everybody made a huge fuss over her.
Nobody cared when I got engaged. Nobody threw me a bridal shower. Nobody came to my wedding.
It has nothing to do with money, it has nothing to do with presents. I just wish somebody had thought to make a fuss over me in my one day as a bride.
K
Sunday, February 01, 2004
I made my 2 best friends co maids-of-honor. Now one probably can't come to the wedding due to work issues, even though the wedding isn't until December, and the other thinks all she has to do is show up and stand there next to me. I don't want to get all bridezillay on them but it makes me feel bad that they don't think a wedding is a big deal. I would throw them showers and stuff if I was a bridesmaid for them. If I just mention my wedding or something, they are like 'BRIDEZILLA!' I feel bad trying to get their opinions because I don't want to bother them but shouldn't they at least express some interest, or at least not call me names? I'm really trying hard to find nice dresses for not very much money that they would be able to wear again, but apparently anything over $20 is too expensive. Poop.
J
FL Saturday, January 31, 2004
I've been through the wedding thing twice, and wanted to offer some advice to brides who are feeling pressured to have a "traditional" wedding. I got married (too young) the first time, and even though I had some ideas for a more "personal" ceremony, I let my relatives talk me out of most of my plans. The next time around, I told my family, politely, that it was *my* wedding, and I would be doing what I wanted. I had a *definitely* non-traditional wedding (married on Halloween, with a costume party instead of a reception), had a *marvelous* time, and all of my guests--including my relatives--told me that it was one of the best and most memorable weddings they'd ever attended. I had enormous fun, and the wedding was all mine instead of some cookie-cutter ceremony that everyone's seen a hundred times. Stand firm! In the years to come you'll regret letting yourself be pressured into something you didn't want.
Cobwebs
Friday, January 30, 2004
This is to all the bride's who are so upset about how little money they get to spend on their weddings. Start concentrating on your making your marriage, not your wedding. I just went through the whole process and my H and I paid for everything oursleves. Mind you, we have money, but we still only spent 15k on a wedding on a French island with fifteen of our closest friends and family. Your wedding is over in an instant, your marriage lasts forever (okay, hopefully). Just appreciate those who can attend (I lost my father a year before my wedding) and the moment at which you look into your man's eyes and tell him you'll love the shit out of him for the rest of your life (just a bit more eloquently). Nothing annoys me more than listening to chicks whine about their wedding just not being big or lavish enough. Trust me on this. I am the consultant for one of the most prestigious stores in the country and I listen to it every day.
The Consultant
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
To all of the Brides and Brides-to-be, PLEASE do not bow to those who wish to bring their kids to your wedding. I was a groomsmaid in my best friend's wedding in Oct. 2003 and I left my kids with a sitter in our hotel room and they had a ball and I and my hubby got to enjoy the wedding. As a parent and as a member of a briadl party I am imploring you to be brave and to be strong and to INSIST that children be sequestered elsewhere during your nuptials. You will be less stressed as will mom and dad.
Grooms Maid in Oaktown <email>
Oakland, CA Wednesday, January 28, 2004
My proposal was dreamy and I was so excited about getting married ... now, just 1 month later, I am ready to call off the wedding and just run to Vegas with my fiance. Our entire families have taken over the wedding - appointing themselves and their children as BMs or flower girls WITHOUT ME OR B- HAVING EVEN ASKED THEM! My brother has decided to pull my youngest nephew out of the wedding b/c he is not tall enough. His mother will not contribute b/c the wedding is not taking place in her church (even though we are getting married in A CHURCH), and people who never called me before suddenly feel the need to call me at all hours of the day, even at work, to comment on the month we picked (July), the time (2 PM ceremony) and the color I would like to have my MOH and BMs wear (light blue). I just feel like screaming "Look people ... if you hate everything I have said or done so far DON"T COME!! All you are going to do is ruin a day that is supposed to be filled with love and happiness." I have been to too many weddings where the bride is in a foul mood b/c people cannot keep their idiotic comments to themselves!!!Can anyone relate?!
PRBride
CT Tuesday, January 27, 2004
A list of Wedding Things I do Not Want. (Warning: Long Rant)
I don't want Fondant Icing. It looks great, but tastes lousy. Seems like a bad omen to me.
I don't want a white dress. I'm not into making any statements about my sexual purity, or lack there of, and white looks dreadful on me. If it looked good me, I'd proudly wear it from head to toe, no matter how many years I've lived with my FH and any sexist pig who dared make a comment about it would get bitch-slapped by my bridesmaids - they're my friends, they've got my back.
I don't want cheap plastic favors; our guests should remember our wedding because they had a good time, not because they received an M&;M-filled lilac plastic swan with the words 'Lauren' & 'Mr. Lauren's' eternal love, June 12th, 2004".
The wedding will not be ruined if I don't get a "special" (cheaper) bouquet for the toss - I was told I'm supposed dry my bouquet and cherish it forever by letting it collect dust on a shelf somewhere - Whatever.
My FH and I won't end up divorced because we didn't use a be-ribboned, engraved silver-plated commemorative cake knife to cut our wedding cake. And while we're on the subject of cake, I refuse to have a cake-topper with small children dressed in bridal attire. Child-brides are illegal in my state, I'd hate to encourage the practice.
Printed paper napkins or a symbolic release of white doves are messy, and quite unnecessary.
Lastly, my fiancé and I can start our married lives together quite nicely without a theme, a theme song, a display of baby pictures, a three-hour video, dj prizes, money dances or a frou-frou china pattern we'll never use. Really.
All these people who go on and on to me about how this _thing_ or that _thing_ will make my wedding perfect and unforgettable are giant corporate tools of the wedding industrial complex. The thing that will make my wedding perfect and unforgettable is that on that day, my fiancé and I will promise to love, honor and cherish each other until death does us part. Everything else - the reception, the music, the food - all that's just icing. And I like my icing soft-and-sweet like butter cream, not pretty-but-dry like fondant.
Lauren
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Everyone is treating me like a freak, too, because I don't want to go all "frou-frou, matching bridesmaids, my colors are autum honeywheat & springfresh lilac (beige & lavender)" bridal. My FMIL looked like she was going to faint when I said I didn't have or want "colors". My stepmonster, who always says evil things anyway, hinted that my bridesmaids would embarass me if let them choose their own dresses (My instructions were to wear a black dress that they felt great in). Please. My bridesmaids are all dear friends whom I've known for years. I already know what their taste is like, and their style. If I didn't know (and trust) them well enough to know such basic information, I'd hardly have invited them to stand up with me in one of the more important ceremonies of my life, now would I? My FMIL wants my FSIL's young son to be the "ring bearer". Every time I see her, she hints at it. He was ring bearer in my FSIL's wedding. He spent the ceremony tangled up in the skirt of her gown. I didn't want a stately, classy wedding, but now that I'm getting it (sort of), I'd rather not have the ceremony interrupted by a tuxedo-clad four-year-old with a fancy pillow. Besides, aren't the Best man & MOH supposed to hang onto the rings?
Lauren
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
I hated my wedding. I desperately wanted a small, elegant ceremony (maybe even city hall, then cocktails/desserts at home). I even suggested eloping when we were in Italy (we're 30 after all). But no, my husband and his family so desperately wanted the big bridal-industrial extravaganza that is somewhere between dinner theater and Jerry Springer. Every time I tried to scale things down (you know, to the way we normally entertain), I got looks of shocked dismay. Instead of an overpriced cake, I suggested gourmet cookies. Horrors! I refused to bully my bridesmaids into wearing matching costumes as if it were a Vegas revue. I refused to choose "colors" as I was not designing a set. I absolutely refused to *wear a microphone* while saying my vows. My husband's mom offered to pay for a nice venue, which we gratefully excepted. But! I wanted to rescind once I realized it was an excuse to turn the occasion into old home day for his parents. Literally a third of the people there were ones we did not recognize by face or name. I still am not sure why they came (or for that matter, why I caved in and invited them). My dress was nice, but I felt like a freak -- I mean, everything I was wearing was white! What I disliked most of all was the expectation that I was supposed to be eating all this up, like just swooning over stupid outrageously priced tchochkes and, Christ, I don't know, pathetic little bottles for people to blow bubbles at us. I still remember the almost tearful disappointment his family showed when they would invite themselves over with armfuls of catalogues and I just kept shrugging and saying, "I don't really want any of that. I just want to keep it simple, I want people to have a good time." The whole thing bums me out. I should have put my foot down, I supposed, but my husband was so excited about "traditional" (or at least, what he saw as traditional) wedding stuff that I gave in. Now I kind of regret it. I cringe when I remember that day.
curmudgeonly bride
Monday, January 26, 2004
Badbride- I agree with you that kids do not belong at grown-up weddings. Besides, when I was forced to go to weddings as a kid I was bored out of my skull!
I hate to admit it, but I am thinking of having a midnight ceremony that is too late for little people to be awake for.
I can't afford to have two seperate parties for grown-ups AND kids!
Fed up
Monday, January 26, 2004
I confess that I totally freaked on my honey's best man. I was going over our colors (silver and burgandy) with some of the bridal party and the best man thought it would be a great idea to wear baby blue tuxes with the ruffled shirts (think Dumb and Dumber). My honey thought I was going to have a heart attack. We have decided to stick with black.
No Blue Bride
Houston, Tx Monday, January 26, 2004
I am so happy that this site exists for all of us to vent our frustrations on and admit how horriby (and usually regretfully)we treat our loved ones at this time. We need this place so that we don't END UP on Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! !!!
PA-KY Bride
Saturday, January 24, 2004
OK, I don't know if this qualifies as being a Brideailla or not, but I do NOT want any children at our wedding or reception!! I don't have to mail out invites for a while, but I'm already stressing about people adding their children onto the response cards! I'm having nightmares about my wedding turning into a freakin' circus with children running around with cotton candy and stuff! My FH and I are just not kid-friendly, we don't ever plan on having children, and we are hoping everyone will respect our wishes enough and LIKE us enough to get babysitters for that one night, without us having to call everyone and explain that they CANNOT bring their kids.
Please tell me I'm not alone out here!!!! I feel like such a horrible, mean person sometimes when I think about this! :(
Quasi-Bridezilla?
St. Louis, MO Saturday, January 24, 2004
I never told my employer I was getting married an moving out of state less than a year after I was hired. They're talking about training me to do another job, but I'm leaving in 18 weeks. They still don't know about the wedding.
Dardar
Friday, January 23, 2004
I was coerced into purchasing my future mother-in-law's dress due to her cultural traditions. She was miserable during the whole shopping ordeal and the dress ended up costing more than my own wedding gown. I've been married for 13 years now and have never received a birthday card from her. I don't think she likes me.
charlotte
Naples, FL Friday, January 23, 2004
I am not a glitzy bride.... much to my mothers concern. Although we finally decided that we could come up with around $2,000, I don't really care to spend that much. At this point, two months before the wedding, we have spent under $300. That includes: Wedding Dress: $103.95 (ebay)
Cake topper: $11.30 (ebay to find to blondes for under $50)
Invitations: $50.00 (Staples and a computer...)
Bride's ring: under $60 for two on ebay (I couldn't decide)
Brides's shoes: $6.00 (valley view)
Stamps for save the dates, invites, and response: $64.38
Flowers: around $50 for silk flowers and holders from Wal~mart.
The ceremony site is free (my home church) and so is the reception site (the basement of the church). I am only having a desert reception, so I figure at most $500 for THE CAKE, cookies, crackers and cheese, and punch. I guess I'm not very traditional or girly, and my mom wants me to find some place "better" for the reception, but we (my fh and I) are both happy with it. I did compromise with my mom tho--told her that if she wanted to pay for a better reception and not shorten any help she was already planning on giving us, AND buy more invitations to print and print them herself... Then I was ok with it. That is my most bridezilla moment. I am rather proud of that.
ALthough maybe it would be better if I WERE a 'zilla... my MOH (my ( year older sister who didnt' like me until I started college and only had me as a bridesmaid in her wedding to fill in at the last minute) is complaing that I don't give her anything to do! I'm sorry---I just never find anything that I need someone else to do. The things that I need she can't do, like go get my marriage license for me in PA while I am living in KY (we just moved). Oh well. In two months it will be all done, and (knock on wood) it will have been perfect!
PA-KY bride <email>
Bowling Green, KY Wednesday, January 21, 2004
I really don't like the term "bridezilla". When I first heard it, I thought it was kind of clever, certainly fitting for some brides. But I've been called that so many times, some times joking, sometimes not so much. My older sister was the first one,first because I picked my younger sister, whom I am closer to, to be my MOH, not her, though she is a BM. Her reasoning was that Sally, my younger sis, has more time, more sinlge friends, more chances to be a MOH, but she herself has never been one, and may never be. She said it again when I didn't pick the bridesmaid dresses she liked, but instead chose a similar one in a different colour. My FML called me it when I declined (rather politely, I thought) to have her brother, who is a Priest, marry us (neither of us are Catholic). My Fiances friend, who is not even in the wedding party, is only there to watch & eat, called me a bridezilla b***h when I refused to have an open bar at our early afternoon reception. *sigh* What happened to the good old days where this was mine and my husbands day and I was to be treated like a princess, not a witch?
please dont call me Bridezilla
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
OK, so this is not for me, but for a friend, and I think she handled it quite well. My friend is not very traditional, she has several piercings and tattoos, as do most of her friends. Her family is very well-to-do and traditional. To make everyone happy she did a great job of selecting a dress, ceremony, etc. that were very "her" but still very elegant and classy. She took out her piercings and covered her tatoos. All of her friends followed suit, I hid my tattoo with a nice pair of cream slacks and (gasp!) a pastel pink top. I took out my lip ring. Only one person didn't. This evil girl showed up to the wedding in a black pair of slacks, white spaghetti strap boustier, leather bondage bracelets and matching necklace with all piercings in and all tattoos showing. Oh, did I mention she wore combat boots? My wonderful gracious friend, took her aside and asked her if she just didn't have time to get a nice outfit and left it at that. All pictures including this girl were ripped to shreds and that was that? Can you believe the nerve???
Tattooed Freak
Monday, January 19, 2004
Well, my mom and I went shopping for the invitations...she found a nice little wedding-accessory-type store and wanted to check it out. We arrived right as the store opened and were welcomed by the very nice, knowledgeable woman who appeared to own the store. We spent about an hour picking out the invitations and deciding on the font, the wording, and so on. Once we were ready to go ahead and order, I went to the front of the store, where the woman who had greeted us had been joined by a high-school aged girl. I told the woman that we were ready to order...she and the high-school girl came back to the table, where she explained that the girl was a new employee who was just learning to write up the invitation orders. Then she left us alone with this wifty child!!!
Now, I must state here that first, I understand that everyone, including adolescents, must learn new jobs, and that doing so is not necessarily easy. (Believe me, I've done that myself.) Also, I have been pretty laid-back about the wedding...no fits at the bridal salon, no demands on the bridesmaids to throw me a shower, no fights with my mother. Third, I fill out paperwork for a living, and I have the nice handwriting that such a task requires. :)
So we sat with this new employee for half an hour while she struggled to figure out the order form. She would not let me complete the section where you write the exact wording for the invitation -- she did it excruciatingly slowly, misspelling several words, in humongous, looping, practically-cursive writing. And all of her L's looked like lowercase H's. This did not sit well with my naturally anal-retentive personality, so I squirmed in my seat until the other employee came back and spent another half hour correcting the order form. An additional fifteen minutes was spent teaching the new employee how to calculate the price. Finally, they told me that the covered-in-whiteout, practically-cursive order form would be FAXED to the printer, where hopefully they would be able to get all the spelling right!
It goes without saying that both my fiance and I have complicated Eastern European last names.
Two weeks later, the invitations arrived. My mom picked them up. They were flawless. All that stress wasted for nothing. :)
VocaPopula
Friday, January 16, 2004
My step-brother's now wife turned into a demon. But, actually, during the wedding, she seemed fine. My step-sister was one of the bms, the other two were the bride's friends, so the step-sister wasn't included in any pre-wedding activities. One of the other bms cried when she tried on one of the homemade bm dresses made by a seamstress, they went out and bought all new dresses for the bms, so less than 2 weeks before the wedding, the stepsister/bm had to pay $$$ she didn't expect and didn't have for the dress, but managed to borrow. The reception was a total bore. There was an open mike for about 10 minutes for guests to share their congratulations, etc., but only two people came up. Nothing else was organized, and the dj was sitting in his booth, but didn't start playing music till well into the reception. By that time, most of the guests were either "plastered" or had gone home. During the whole ceremony the bride was mad at the groom because he changed into shorts and a t-shirt before the reception and the pictures had even started. (she had every right to be upset at that) But, in the midst of everyone being bored and having their own conversations, they decided to do an introduction of the bridal party, who at the time had dispursed from the bridal party table. My stepsister (the bm) was outside talking to her father for the first time in over a year, and introducing him to her boyfriend. She heard nothing of the introductions inside before. When she was told to come inside, it was kind of funny because it was like five minutes after she was introduced, it was almost the most entertaining thing that night and everyone laughed. Everyone in my family thought everything would go smooth from there. But after the wedding, the bride would not talk to anyone in our family. It was sad too, because she didn't let anyone see their new daughter for over 4 months, including grandma, it was the first time I had ever seen stepmother cry, ever, and on more than one occasion...she just wanted to spoil her grandbaby! My step-brother, the groom, finally started acting like her (bride), too, and said the reason they weren't talking to grandma, his mom, was because she didn't go up to the bride on the wedding day and tell her she was beautiful. SHE PAID FOR alot of THE WEDDING EVEN THOUGH SHE WENT INTO DEEP DEBT, AND TREATED BRIDE LIKE HER OWN DAUGHTER. And, the stepsister/bm? "She ruined my whole reception", poor girl still isn't being snubbed after 1 1/2 years. Sorry, but in my opinion, it was the only thing that wasn't boring.
marrrr
canada, bc Thursday, January 15, 2004
Ew!! No, I don't NEED a 20k wedding, but it would be nice. I grew up with a certain lifestyle, and I'd like to maintain that. It's not driving my parents "deep into debt". I can't help it if you're not from as much $ as others. Maybe you're jealous.
oops
Thursday, January 15, 2004
I hate my bridesmaid. After we set our date and asked her and her FI to be our MOH and BM, they set their date for a few weeks later, are having the same type of ceremony / reception as us (ie. an 'all in one' deal) and now the cheap dress that I was looking at for my wedding dress (cause we have a really strict budget) she is now using for her bridesmaids. I can't exactly sack her because she is my SIL2B.
nasty bride
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
My previous post is completely honest. I really am not as bad as that sounds. My fiance even agrees with me. I just want a really nice day. We're only having 50-60 people. And I made the save the date cards myself, for $20. They looked really nice. And my 4k dress is gorgeous. Besides, I wanted to get veneers for my teeth, and that costs $13,000. I told my parents I'll just do the payment plan instead, because I feel bad they're already spending over $20,000 on my wedding, plus my dad just lost his job and my parents just got divorced. It's not so terrible, is it?
oops
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
I am so frustrated about our finances and the fact that we are now living in a small town. Every time I try to set a date or choose a location or a dress I hit a roadblock. I finally found a lovely, reasonably priced place to have both the ceremony and reception. They will cater, and even provide a wedding coordinator. It took me two weeks to get through to her, but I didn't care. I was so anxious to make sure I could reserve the date I need that I was overjoyed when she returned my phone call and told me that she would send me updated information and local vendor lists. When I asked her about reserving a date she said that she would have to check with someone else and she would call me back. I thought it was odd that she needed time since I had just spent two weeks having some other lady tell me that ONLY THE WEDDING COORDINATOR had the availability schedule and that there was no one else who could help me. Of course she didn't call back and, when I got the mailer I requested, it didn't contain any of the information she assured me she would send.
After weeks of leaving messages that weren't returned my persistance paid off. She told me:
"I'm afraid we can't do that day..it's just not a good day"
...for her...The site will be open for business that day, and she wouldn't say that there was another booking, but I get the feeling that new year's day just didn't fit HER schedule and she didn't want to have to come to work after a big night of partying(she seems to take quite a lot of sick days). I have no good alternative location, so I bit my tongue and asked about the vendor lists etc. and was told that I have to give them about three thousand dollars before they give me any further information.
I had to hang up on her (what have I done!!)
I've been taking it out on my future husband. I know that in my soul I am totally evil. I must eat chocolates until I have to puke.
fb
Monday, January 12, 2004
How do you deal with catty people that you have to invite to your wedding? I know, I know, you grit your teeth and silently signal one of your BMs to concoct an "emergency" that requires your immediate ("So sorry, we'll have to chat more later") attention. But, damnit! My SM says something mean almost every time I see her, but because she's married to the guy who'll be walking me down the aisle, I've got to invite her. My FH and my mother think it's funny the way she is so reliably petty and rude. After I cool down, I've been known to have a good long laugh about it, too, but I would prefer not to deal with it at the wedding. Going Bridezilla and not inviting her is so tempting.
Lauren
Thursday, January 08, 2004
My parents gave me a budget of $18,000. I was really upset, because I think it should be more, and I think they can swing it. I decided I want to spend more, so I went and bought a $4,000 dress, got the reception place for $10,000 (alot is included in that, though). And $850 for invitations. I'm just kind of disregarding their budget. I keep saying, "well, mom, dad, I NEED this". It's my day, and I only have it once. I don't want people thinking I'm poor.
oops
Thursday, January 08, 2004
SO, my FMIL has been hinting that several of her friends NEED to be at the wedding. OUr guest list is already tight and we are unable to invite some people that we would like to have there.
She started on me last night about how these people are closer than family and she will never hear the end of it if she can't invite them. AND that she needs them there for support. SUPPORT?? FRIGGING SUPPORT?? WHO THE HELL IS GETTING MARRIED?
lms
Thursday, January 08, 2004
I accidently found a way to get everyone to stop offering their suggestions and commentary on our wedding plans. FH and myself are real basic, bohemian types, our families are uber-yuppies. We want a small intimate outdoor wedding and reception combo, they want enough people to inhabit a small planet. Things like "you should have a groom's cake" (I've somehow missed these at every wedding I've been to??) and "the bride's maids should all wear the same jewelry, which you should buy for them so they can keep it as a momento" and "the groom and his men are wearing kilts??" and "yes, its a lovely ring, but a diamond would have been so much more beautiful" and "green isn't a good color for a bride to wear" and "maybe the god and goddess statues are a bit much on the wedding altar" and "you should wear high heels even though you're as tall as the FH"...
I'm blaming my faith. Since I'm pagan and most of my friends and family are not, everytime they come up with some bizarre idea like "you should release 50 white doves as you run from the hall to the limo" (I've seen this in action, think projectile missle bird poop falling from the sky) I claim its against our religion. Hey, it got me out of the high heels and him out of dress shoes (I told them we had to be married barefoot, since the wedding is outside) So far, so good. At this point, both mothers are afraid to offer any suggestions for fear they'll offend me and my FH. Thank Gods they're too yuppy to actually research our faith and figure out we're lying through our teeth to be polite.
Oh Gods...ten more months of this?
Grace
Grace
Seattle, WA Tuesday, January 06, 2004
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