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It has just come to my attention that the "cousin" only officially was engaged this Christmas Eve. Therefore proper etiquette would be that who ever was engaged first should be able to set the date of their choice first.
Over protectors
Monday, December 29, 2003
Okay. I am doing the Bridezilla thing. I just want my stupid centerpieces finished. My future mother in law is going to make them...but I haven't heard anything about them for months and the wedding is in 6 weeks.
Another problem. My fiance's cousin agreed to be the ringbearer. Well...his aunt agreed to let him. So it comes time for tux measurements and I send her an email to let her know where we're going for the tuxes. No response. No nothing. Last week I receieve an RSVP telling me that she and her family will NOT be able to attend the wedding! It's not a crisis. We don't NEED a ringbearer. It's just not cool that she's such a loser that she couldn't tell me earlier or just in another way.
Francesca
Saturday, December 27, 2003
My older sister wants to get married for the third time. She's only 32. She left her husband and two kids for her fiance, and he left his wife and 3 kids for her. Needless to say, this union is not a joyous occasion for a lot of reasons. She asked me to be a bridesmaid and I told her she was insane to think I would participate in this joke of a wedding, let alone shell out money for a butt ugly bridesmaid dress for a THIRD wedding. Apparently, she also wants the family to chip in to pay for this, and my mother was contemplating doing so just to keep the peace until I told her that my sis's "fiance" hasn't even bothered to legally separate from his wife yet because he's afraid how much the divorce could cost him. That put an end to any of my family's involvement in this whole farce. If I ever get married, guess who will NOT be invited!
No way, no how...
Friday, December 19, 2003
So I think that I might have a huge problem. I was supposed o get married in March and on Thanksgiving, had to decide to call the wedding off. Why, you may ask, well, my future husband had to tell me that he had been seeing someone for the past three months, and why do I think that he told me? My sister walked into a bar and sw him - the girl knew my sister's roommate and was shocked to find out he was engaged. How awesome is that? Now my problem is, I don't hate him. Everyone in my family hates him, most of my friends hate him, I think that I might be the only person that talks to him. I am angry and everything else and feel betrayed, but I almost feel bad for him - is that awful?
briken hearted
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
This year after having been with my intended for three years we were engaged on my 29th birthday. (Down on one knee and the whole nine yards) I have two daughters from my first marriage and my fiance is only 25. Needless to say I was too young the first time around and didnt know what I wanted. I made a mistake, we've all done things we regret. Both of my girls adore him very much and we are both very much in love. We set a date for April 2005 to give us plenty of time for planning. Well needless to say my FMIL and my grooms cousin ALL OF A SUDDEN announce to us that his cousin had already planned on getting married at the same time as us. (No one told us that they had supposedly set this date before us until after we had set ours and gotten all excited about having set a date) Some of them (his side of the family) even had the nerve to say that I pressured him into proposing and assuming that it was all my doing. We are on the West Coast and they are on the East Coast and plan on having their wedding in the Caribbean. We were going to have ours in Caribbean as well (Something we had planned on for years. I have been informed that WE should postpone OUR wedding since his side of the family wont be able to afford to go to two weddings at the same time. So basically they are saying that his cousins wedding is more important and she should get to have hers first. (No double wedding I dont even know this girl..happy for her but dont know her) She is in her early twenties and has plenty of time.even if we got married in 2005 that would make me 31 and him 27 (I was also asked by his side of the family Why are you rushing? When at the time of our wedding we will have been together for 5 years..still not sure how that is rushing) They were all acting like we were getting married the next day or something. The fact that I have two children seems to make them think that I dont deserve the same happiness as everyone else.(They do.just not with their son) (They say Oh nothing against you..well yes it is against me because they dont think I am good enough for their son for reasons that are not valid) They have it in their head that because I have been married before that something must be wrong with me and ASSUME that I would have been the cause for my first marriage breaking up. (I was too young wasnt ready..the only reason I got married in the first place is because my uptight old school mother didnt want me living in sin anymore.. and in a big hurry to get out of my parents house end of story) I did finally get to meet them and his parents are not so bad. (Although some things that were mentioned to her in confidence by my fiancé ended up being spread around his family in order to make me look bad.I know this because it got back to me) It just seems that everyone has an opinion about me, my children, my previous relationship and cant even say it to my face. (I hear about the comments afterwards from my fiancé) (They live with their father we have decided together as parents that its best for them to live with us fifty fifty starting in March 2004 Something that my fiancé is totally fine with, but because they dont live with me his family assumes some how I must be a bad mother or that he was given custody for a reason If they had of asked they would know that I have custody and they only went to live with him until I finished college as was back on my feet) These people dont even know me yet all seem to think they know what Im all about. God forbid they would just want their son/cousin/grandson to be happy. Needless to say we have been gracious enough to POSTPONE OUR WEDDING so that his cousin can have her day in the spotlight, until June 2006. Did we get a thank you? NO - Did we get a Gee that was nice of you? NO. So now that we have postponed our wedding and changed the location to avoid looking like a copycat Do I think this will guarantee that my FMIL side of the family will attend the wedding? NOT BLOODY LIKELY. I highly doubt they will come at all and we will have postponed our wedding for no reason at all. I wanted to do it up right this time and have a proper traditional wedding. These people refuse to let him live his own life and all seem to think that they know what is best for him. Did they ever think that hes a big boy now and can live his own life!! Its not like we dont have our s*** together. We both have good stable jobs and are ready to get on with the next stage of our life together. So now we have reset the date for June 2006. We refuse to change the date anymore. We are getting to the point now that we want to elope because of all of the pressure and bitching from his side of the family (My mom said congratulations and nothing elseshe just wants me to be happy) When will people realize that they dont have a say in other peoples relationships.they think they do..but they dontall it does is alienate their son/daughter from them. I am not some one that he needs protecting from!!
Over protecters
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
I wish my MOH would understand that I don't want a shower with a room full of old women ooohing & ahhing over me opening a box of towels or sheets. I mean, how can I be put on the spot like that....I can't act that well!!!! Why won't she listen to me when I tell her I would much prefer to have a day at the spa....or a night on the town???? I asked her to be MOH because she is my best friend....not go go berzerk with her "duties" as MOH.....pardon me, but aren't those duties to listen to my requests?????? Okay, maybe that's a bit extreme, but hon, save your $$$ and the planned afternoon with the oldies and my mom...I had that growing up. No need to re-hash the past:)
Eveeilllll
Monday, December 15, 2003
I have yet to become a Bridezilla, but I can see it coming.. neither my Mom, nor her Mom, had huge weddings (mainly bc I was the reason for my Moms wedding, just like she was the reason for her Moms ;) ) and they have both decided that, bc of that, they should have full reign of *my* wedding. This does not mean only having more say in the dress, flowers, food, EVERYTHING, than I do, it also means that they get to edit the guest list as though it were their weddings. Disagreements thus far have included:
Wedding dress: I'm only five feet tall for crying out loud, anything poufier than a sheath style dress is going to make me look like a giant cream puff! Not to mention, I don't want to look like Barbie. But they both did, and didn't get to, so they actually went back to the dress shop after I had made a payment on my dress, told the lady there that I had changed my mind, and wanted a different, poufier, fluffier dress. I knew nothing of this until it arrived last weekend.
Flowers: I want daisies bc they are simple, pretty, not too pretensious. They want roses the size of tea cups. I told them my Fiances Mother was allergic to roses (she's not.) The asked if she couldn't pop some allegra or just not come.
Food: I want simple, yummy stuff. They want stuff I can't pronounce or identify.
As for the guest list, my Fiance and I decided that we'd aim for less than 150 people, which was more than reasonable considering our small-ish families. His parents listed 3 couples (other than immediate family) they wanted invited. My Mom & Grandmother had 24 and 29 couples EACH they claimed to *need* there. These were mainly people they hadn't seen in 20-50 years, people that would have been at their weddings, such as friends, co-workers and neighbours they hadn't been social with since highschool.
My Grandpa is on my side, but my Dad is whipped. I think I might elope.
Hailey
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
18 months after my wedding I'm still pissed off with the fact that we didn't get presents from two particular couples. One is my best friend and her husband and there was a registry mix-up with their present so we wound up buying it ourselves and she was going to send me the money... I'm still waiting...
The other couple I'm much more annoyed with - my brother and his now-fiancee, one of my BMs. Since both my BMs were students at the time I bought their dresses, shoes, accessories - getting on for $300 each and that's with their dresses (evening gowns, not trad BM dresses, reusable and rather striking, they've both worn them since) being on sale. They are getting married this coming summer and want my MIL to make their wedding cake, and for us to pay for it as our wedding present to them (since we did the same for my other brother's wedding this year). My MIL makes professional cakes and even at cost that's not a cheap present. I'm tempted to give them exactly what they gave us - nothing.
Bittertwisty
Monday, December 08, 2003
I was so bad when I was engaged, my mom called me a bitch. "What's the big deal?" you think? My Mom has sworn 2 times in her whole life and one was to explain what somene else said. The second time was to tell me I was a bitch.
Pam
Sunday, December 07, 2003
i hate the army. after pushing our wedding date back twice because of his military career, we've now had to postpone the wedding indefinitely because he's been shipped to IRAQ for A YEAR! everyday, i'm terrified that i'll get that dreaded phone call telling me he's dead. i just couldn't handle that. and i'm scared that a year apart will kill us. he gets once a week phone calls and email priviledges. that's not a relationship, that's a pen-pal! how do they expect couples to survive that? there's a saying that the military breeds divorce. in my case, it won't even let me get married!
casselberry
Saturday, December 06, 2003
i got engaged 4months ago! now that its time to start planning, everybody says im changed. they say that making my bridesmaids lose weight is to much. i just answered:i want them to look good too. is it my fault that i want the poeple who witness my wedding to look great?
ggggs!im bad! <email>
Tracy, ca Friday, December 05, 2003
Where do you draw the line with bridal ettiquette? I am the maid of honor in my friends wedding. She didn't even ask me. I found out that I was elected to be Maid if Honor when she was looking at a magazine article that listed listed the duties of the wedding party. She pointed to the Maid Of Honors responsabilities and said oh here are your responsabilities. Isn't that nice. The way she is treating me and her other bridesmaids is incrediblly inconsiderate and rude. She is about to lose her whole wedding party if she doesn't shape up.
my friend is a lost cause
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
I was a bridesmaid at the worst wedding ever this summer! Ok, so my friend is getting married and I am a BM. Everything is fine. Then! The bride sees the bridesmaid dresses she falls in love with, doesn't bother to try them on anyone, but buys just whatever size she thinks everyone wears. Fine, that is ok too. Afterall, it's not MY wedding. So all of the bridesmaids (we all happen to be really close) had no clue what was going on until they day before the wedding. Ok, fine, still good. Then the day of doom! First, one of the other BM's had gotten into a fight with her boyfriend (the bride's brother) and was histerical for 2 days (this includes the rehearsal and wedding) (I literally had to carry her out of a car and into the house). One of the other bridesmaids had a fight with her boy too, so the tow of them bitched all day. Not only were those 2 having man troubles, but they hated their hair, makeup and talked bad about the bride all day. Another bridesmaid hurt her finger and whined continuously about that. Now for the bride. From the moment the bride arrived at the home her wedding was to be held, she was in a bad mood, when she put her dress on, she just sat there, nostrilles flared (she has a really bad temper), dress unzipped in the back. Then the bithching began ("why do things always have to go wrong for me" (beacuse you don't plan for the worst?)and so on). Mind you, I don't think this wedding shoudl have even taken place. So wedding is over (the precher actually did a sermon during the wedding, which is not at all custom for this type of wedding) and we are now at the reception, held in the rain, so we are sitting talking and all of the sudden, the bride runs away from teh reception screaming. Later I found out the couple had a huge fight during the reception and it ended with some cussing from him to her, it was a really bad fight. Finally, the rain stops and it is time for pictures. Now the bride and groom had a year old son. Evidently the bride did not want her son in any pictures because everytime it was suggested, she flared her nostrilles (like she does when she is getting ready to attack), so as you can imagine, the pictures came out great... NOT! Now I am looking forward to my wedding which includes 2 of the bridesmaids from this one, and the bride. FUN FUN FUN
Amarra
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
my mother and sister are driving me nuts with dumb request for things i can not afford and they want me to send money i do not have
crazycookmt <email>
Saturday, November 29, 2003
I was always the non-traditional girl with the shaved head and combat boots. i got married on saturday to a completely traditional wedding. white dress, veil, roses, church, the whole she-bang. and i loved it.
we spent a ton on our dj. he was fabulous.
we had a custom cake top made. it was the talk of the night. every one had fun, even my great uncle who doen't have fun any where any more (he's really old and may have slight dementia that makes him a little mean.)
i was hyper organized and a big old ball of stress for the past three months or more, but i let it all go an hour before the rehersal and enjoyed my wedding more than i thought was possible.
figure out what is important to you and go for it. (i don't mean money wise, stay in your budget. money causes alot of stress) and have fun.
there has been more drama and fightning this year with his family then i care to think about, but i was not about to allow that to ruin my day.
good luck ladies
happy, happy mrs. him
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
This isn't so much about a Bridezilla but about a MOBridezilla. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, but she is so strong willed, I felt really sorry for my little sister. Mom pushed and pushed until my sister finally just called off the wedding. Mom actually put a deposit down on a hall without my sister even seeing the location. She pushed at her to get the wedding dress a year before the event. She pushed to go down and look at headpieces. She pushed to start meeting cake people. All of this my sister really didn't want. I think she was envisioning something smaller. Being the matron of honor I tried to deflect as much as I could, but there was only so much I could do. If you are a mom, back off, let your kids make the decisions. Offer to help and then leave it at that.
Sister of the Bride
Friday, November 21, 2003
I have tried and tried to get my FMIL to understand how not fluffy froo froo I am and she doesn't seem to understand. I went shopping with her in the beginning and didn't know any details yet, when she turned and looked at me and asked "Well what do you know?" She has bought things that are absolutely not what I want in the wedding at all, that are gaudy and unbelievable! I hate gold, and she bought stuff that had gold in it! Then they bought chairs for the ceremony, because they were on sale not thinking how the hell are we going to find more to fit the number of people invited? Then she wants to invite like 100 people JUST FROM HER SIDE OF THE FAMILY, and we only want 150 people wedding! So where is my family supposed to be included in this? She wants the most tacky things in the wedding and I am just about done with this whole silly, stupid thing already and I have about a year left to go! Did I mention she has more bridal magazines than I DO!??? OH MY GOD!
Can't make it quit
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Yes, one might say that I do turn into Bridezilla once in a while...
Like last night for instance, when I finally put my foot down and made it very clear to my fiancé that even though he may not, I certainly _do_ want a wedding ring. (Mind you, the wedding's in four weeks' time...) To my surprise, he immediately offered to leave his office early and go ring shopping with me. We chose a beautiful ring for myself but my fiancé still won't be wearing one. (Which is OK with me but will certainly cause a few raised eyebrows over here in Germany.)
Then there's the fact that we have invited only 12 guests. Nine friends, Three family members. My parents and my fiancés mother. The others, who live in southern Germany, can never be bothered to visit us anyway - so why would they want to attend the wedding, right? ;-)
So we're going to have this wonderful ceremony in a 13th century castle which is at the same time a hotel. We'll have our best friends and our parents around for a full weekend, we're going to have a blast for three days in a row and I'm sure we'll never regret not having a "traditional" huge reception with 75 guests and more.
Oh, and did I mention the wedding cake? The topper will be a resin version of a hilarious couple out of a French cartoon. The two-tier cake will be decorated to look like that couple was standing in a totally messy house, with all the household goods lying around made of marzipan.
Oh, I almost forgot about make-up. I won't be wearing any, except mascara and lipstick, since I hardly ever wear even that. I want our guests to recognize me and not wonder who that woman with the pancake in her face might be.
Oops... No band or DJ either! A few MP3 CDs will do.
But yes, I will have the gown of my dreams. Got it on eBay. ;-)
Ute
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Not Telling: I would have promptly walked out on any bride who called me fat, a slut, or any combination thereof. Good lord! Why did you stay IN that wedding?!
Furhouse
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
A family friend, a trailer-trashy sort who is marrying into a trailer-trashy family, accepted my eldery mother's offer to throw her a bridal shower. My mother had in mind a basic, neighbourhood, backyard shower with cake and tea. After accepting the shower offer, the evil bride then announced that she wanted the shower to be a huge jack-and-jill event at a rented hall, with catered food and a DJ. What is it about an engagement ring that turns people into self-righteous, greedy, rude bitches? Why not have simply asked a younger member of the bridal party to arrange the big catered event, and leave this poor elderly woman to arrange the backyard tea?
What is it about an engagement ring.....
Sunday, November 16, 2003
Bridezilla to those that didnt deserve it:
I had a traditional head table and had the bridal parties dates sit at another table (I did ask them where they preferred to sit).
I made my sister (the Maid of Honor) wear flats so she didnt tower over me in pictures (I bought her shoes and paid for half of her dress).
Should have been a Bridezilla to:
My husbands cousin who brought her baby to the adult only ceremony. Strangely she was able to leave her other children at home and not bring the baby to the reception. I dont get it either. Everyone else was able to figure it out IT WAS AN ADULT ONLY EVENING.
My husbands uncle who invited his daughter last minute and didnt bother to tell me his wife wasnt coming. They decided to move themselves to another table, displacing my Aunt and Uncle who my family has been having family issues with. I apologized numerous times to them for the mix up.Ya, the mix up had a name Uncle Tim.
My Uncle who was shocked we were able to find a minister to marry us even though we lived in sin for two years.
Former Bridezilla - now a MOH
Friday, November 14, 2003
I got upset at my Dad because he was refusing to wear a tux like the rest of the guys, and he insisted that he was going to wear a nice navy suit. I was soooo not impressed, and I may have made a snarky comment or two. The upshot is that my (very Scottish and very fruga) Dad rented the full scottish regalia, and I saw him in all his glory and his kilt, only 1 minute before he walked me down the aisle! I was floored beyond belief. He looked so handsome and I felt like a real heel for giving him a hard time about his "navey suit"
Misscue
Thursday, November 13, 2003
we planned a VERY small wedding with only twenty people. this meant that i didn't invite my three cousins who are all married and have ten (yes, ten) ill-behaved, rude children between them. Now, i'm all for family and i'm not even anti-kids (my year-old niece was my flower girl). It's just that I MAYBE see my cousins once a year at Christmas. Also, it was an evening wedding and not really kid-friendly.
That said, my aunt calls me one evening and asks "When can my cousins expect their invitations?". Well, um, I explained that it was a very small affair and for immediate family/adults only (okay, niece aside). She was NOT impressed. I also explained that the restaurant wasn't very large and we would be more comfortable as a small group. So get this, about three weeks later, the restaurant calls! My Aunt drove over 300km to "inspect" the restaurant. She even asked if we could move the wedding from upstairs to downstairs. Excuse me! I was mortified. Here I was trying to plan a simple evening and typical of my aunt, she has to cause problems. Even worse, she made sure that all of her children (my cousins) gave me presents. What a horror.
nutmeg canada
Monday, November 10, 2003
Well a couple of rants to add to this page.
1. My step-sister got married this summer and although my mum and step-father have been together 20 years and were paying $25,000 towards the wedding she told my step-father that she did not want my mum at the wedding. She and my mother have had a civil but sometimes turbulant relationship in the past but seemed to be getting on pretty well in recent years. So she leaves it to my step-father to tell my mum. Then she wonders why everyone is pissed off with her and why my step-father refuses to invite any of his friends to the wedding. .... and my boyfriend, when he heard that my mum was not welcome at the wedding says "do you think we'll still get an invite?" duh! NOOOOOOO!!!!
2. A friend of mine got married two months ago and her sister was supposed to sing two songs in the church. One was a particulary special song for the happy couple. Just before my friend walks down the aisle the priest comes up and tells her that there is a change in the songs. Her sister did not like "their song" (difficult to sing apparently) so she sang something else. My friend was NOT amused.
Hart
Saturday, November 08, 2003
I am getting married in may after a four year engagement. after deciding on a date and making a lot of the arrangements, my parents decided that i should really get married where i am originally from (5 hours away) and not where i am living now. all of my plans are ruined - it is either their way or no way (at least not with their money) and i can't find a decent place for the ceremony or reception. this has turned into hell for us -- don't even know if half of our guest will be able to attend now.
no longer in control
Friday, November 07, 2003
The two of us did it really cheap. We decided to get married two weeks before a trip we'd already planned for Vegas. My husband is in the Navy and we decided we didn't want to spend any more time separated. At the time we figured we'd get married legally, then have the wedding we'd like - something small and sweet with the people we cared about - when we could afford it. We had no attendants or family attending - but we spent extra to have it webcast so friends could watch - and spent under a thousand dollars total for everything, including the license, pictures, etc...
I bought my dress for $45 at a indie clothing store - it looked horrible in pictures, but then I sold it on eBay for another $20. Face it, we needed the money.
On the one hand we had enough money to start our live together without a lot of additional debt, but even though I sent announcements after the fact and little "bridesmaidy" trinkets to my closest friends, we didn't get hardly anything even from family. (By anything I mean more along the lines of "token gift" or "card" - we did not expect anyone to buy us a new household.) I feel snarky even complaining about it, except that I'm one of those people who remembers every one's birthdays (and who everyone else calls to confirm other people's birthdays), who throws surprise parties, and remembers to send Christmas cards and presents. If you elope, you find out who's really your buddy and who's just a thoughtless bastard.
Oh, and the person who wrote in that her friend was too young to get married, but that you can't tell them anything...well... confession time. I told two close friends not to get married to each other - the day before the wedding. It was a wedding on the cheap, so don't be that appalled - they had free space, homemade food, the band were friends of the bride and did it for free. I suggested that they wait until they could figure out their problems better. They divorced less than two years later, both of them thanked me prior to the divorce for warning them off and both of them still speaking to me and close. It really depends on the relationship you have. If it's really a mistake and you care about them, and they are the type who can hear it - tell 'em.
Candy Angel
Honolulu, Sunday, November 02, 2003
I made my husband change his last name before id marry him because i didnt like it
Marrissa <email>
somersworth, NH Saturday, November 01, 2003
Can anyone say, IN-LAWS SUCK!!! I had to get that out. Phew
Chloe
Thursday, October 30, 2003
i had a wedding of about 900 people ..... i wonder if my 6 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen thought i was a bridezilla?.... but with a wedding that large and so many bridesmaids and groomsmen tasks were distributed freely and easily.... so consider having lots of bridesmaids if you think it'll be ok....oh we also rented my dress along with all the tuxes and the bridesmaids dresses.....if you/your family(s) can afford it that might be something you want to consider helping out with... the only things that were bought by the BM were the girls shoes and accessories...therefore those strapped for cash didn't have to spend as much and feel as burdened..
finally done *shew*
Thursday, October 30, 2003
I am not a fiance yet, but hope to be shortly (within the next few months) and have to confess that I plan to be a bridezilla to an extent. My wedding to my man will be all about what WE want, not what my parents want, not what his parents want, etc. I've decided that the only way to TRULY achieve the wedding of our dreams is to decide that he and I do not give a flying f*!@ what other people want us to do. Don't get me wrong - I have no problem smiling and thanking people for their suggestions, and I'll probably receive quite a few that I will use. There is just NO WAY that I will forget that what makes the wedding special are us (the bride and groom) - and an extension of us is how we choose to be wed.
Fiance to be
New York, NY Sunday, October 26, 2003
This is not so much a confession as a rant: I got married last summer to my common-law husband of 4 years. We already have two little girls, ages three and one. My husband is Asian & my background in German. Our older daughter looks like an equal mix of the two of us, while the younger looks only caucasian. We had arranged to have the photographer watch out for candid pictures of us with our daughters during the reception, but lef them out of the more formal ones. The photographer would not take a single photo with her in it bc he didnt believe there was anyway she could be my husbands daughter! "I don't care what you say, lady, that girl isn't his, so she's not in the pictures." He informed me of this to my face at the end of the reception, after both my daughters had been put to bed, so it was too late to get any. He ended up losing his job over the ordeal but never appologised, & we can obviously never make up for the lost pictures.
Annie
Thursday, October 23, 2003
A friend of mine from highschool was getting married, and although we hadn't really seen much of each other in a couple years she asked me to be her maid of honour. She assured me that it was going to be a small wedding, not really a big fuss, so I agreed (I hadn't mentioned it, but I was a broke student who regularily had a 30-hour a day, 9 days a week type schedule, so it was very nice of her to understand, I thought).Her Mom would be planning most of the stuff, & would be helping pay for the dresses, I was told. The bride was planning on designing the dresses herself, which was fine, bc she'd always been good at things like that, and she said she planned to make them so they could be worn again (woo hoo!)
It's six and a half weeks before the wedding, and I haven't heard too much until the Brides Mother leaves a message on my machine. I call, the bride picks up, and begins snarking at me for being unreachable! She then passed me off to her Mom, who gave me a guilt trip about not calling back immediately, telling me it was rather rude, & only adding more strain to the poor bride. Note that I had called back a minute after I walked in the door after work, which was only an hour after they called.
Anyhow, Brides Mom starts asking when the lingerie party is, when the bridal shower is, when the appliance party is, when the linens shower is... I'm thinking, one, I've never heard of half this stuff, and aren't you planning it? Her response was that she'd come up with the ideas, I needed to arrange it. Ok, more than I'd planned, but so long as she had the ideas. However, her meaning of "ideas" was different than mine. Mine was that she had it pretty much planned out. Hers was that she'd come up with a list of parties to have to get more stuff, that was it. Places, times, people, food, entertainment, whatever, that was up to me. Like I said, I'd never even heard of half these types of "showers" ie- the first one the MOB wanted was a "Culinary Shower". What this means is everyone brings the bride a "culinary tool". Note that I also mentioned an "appliance party". That means small household appliacnces, like, say, a blender. So why do you need a culinary party & an appliance party? There was also a "bridal buffet", AND a "friends luncheon". There ended up being 9 seperate events this woman wanted planned, by me, at my expense, in the next 6 weeks. In addition, there was a dress fitting the next day.
I cancelled my shift at work, and showed up at the dress makers. The other 2 bridesmaids (the brides 14 year old cousins) & the bride were just leaving, they'd already had their fittings. I went in for mine, and the dress was horrible! I literally looked pregant, but at the same time, it was sooo low cut that my nipples were nearly impossible to cover, and the colour was this weird faided out silver. The bride called half way through to "make sure it fitted" bc I had apparently "been speanding too much time at McDs lately." She then went off about how lovely the dress was, didnt I love it? Get off the phone with her, get out of the dress, and the dress maker hands me a receipt... for $900. Apparently, in the eyes of the bride & her Mother, it was the duty of the MOH to worry about such details as paying for the bridesmaid dresses until either of them could be bothered to think about it at their next convience. So I left the dresses there, bc I had no where near that much money.
Two night later was that "culinary party". I arrived, and was immediately pulled aside by the MOB who reemed me out for the following:
1) Not paying for the dresses.
2) Not bringing an "appropriate" gift for the party - I brought this fairly expensive cook book set. She thoughts multiple small appliances ie- a toaster, AND a coffee makers AND an electric kettle would have been better
3) Trying to ruin her daughters wedding & thus taking the only joy in her own life
Escaped her, went into the party where I received the cold shoulder from the pouty bride all evening. This scene played out at all the other events that I attended. Thankfully, I managed to avoid the guilt tactics on planning & paying for most of it.
The day of the final fitting, I show up, again, as everyone else is leaving, although this time, the bride is whining about how much she hated the lingerie party. Whatever. She sticks around to see me in my dress, and once it's on... She bursts into tears and starts screaming that her whole wedding is ruined bc I am a fat ugly slut! She is convinced that its *my* fault the dress *she* designed looks bad on me. She orders the dress maker to sew a sort of sheer veil-y pancho thing on it, which takes the price up to $378, which is seems I am paying for entirely, despite previous promises. One of the other bridesmaids needed an extra alteration on her dress, too, and I also am expected to pay for that, bc apparently, the bride & MOB are "in a hard way". I dont see why it matters, bc the grooms faily had already literally been guilted into paying for the entire wedding (Im not even going into THAT story). The grooms sister -who I was previously friends with independently of the bride- and I tallied that there was no way the bride or her Mother had paid more than $50 towards the entire cost of the wedding -which came close to 10 grand.
As a grand finale, I'd like to mention something fairly unrelated, but it's a nice ending touch: The bride chatted on the phone with her Mom for three hours once she & her new hubbie arrived in the honey moon suite.
Not-telling-because-Bridzilla-might-check
Thursday, October 23, 2003
My wedding was very beautiful, and everything was going as planned until one of my bridesmaids tries to get attention for herself. Just moments before I walk down the isle, my husband-to-be came to me and said, "so-and-so" "twisted" her ankle and can't walk down the isle by herself. She wants her boyfriend (who was only an usher) walk down with her. In a panic I said ok. She hobble down the isle with a smirk on her face (I saw it in the wedding video). Then while we're taking pictures outside she says comments like "you've got bugs flying around you, I don't have bugs flying around me". What was that supposed to mean? I stink and she didn't? So now I've got bugs swarming around me? Then she says I rigged the bouquet toss so that my MOH would get it. She says this to my MOH. How tacky!! Then after the wedding, I'm talking to a girl who attended my wedding. I was telling her why my bridesmaid had to walk down the isle with her boyfriend. She says "Yeah, right, she twisted her ankle". "And I'm the next Queen of England". I was so furious about hearing that she faked the twisted ankle thing to get attention!!! I just could spit nails!! How dare she! And she's "supposed" to be a friend? Whatever! Just wait til your wedding honey!!!!
Not a bridezilla, just abride who needed to vent
Thursday, October 23, 2003
"... being a BM means that you are a little more proactive and specific. I mean why have BM if they aren't going to help you."
Um, hi. Yeah, the whole "maid" thing? Doesn't really mean their your maids. Just in case you didn't know.
BM Defender
Monday, October 20, 2003
ok, few bits of advice two months after my wedding to save moments of bridezillaness:
1) seriously consider having different bridesmaids' dresses with a colour theme or one colour. it will make your life so much easier, and i wish i would have done it from the beginning, but it was too late when i thought of it. 2) double-check the schedule of the reception with the caterer and other people to make sure it all coordinates... we forgot a couple details we'd changed and the message didn't get through to someone, and we spent the beginning of our reception panicking and reorganizing the whole thing. 3) don't get your flowers too close to your dress!!! i got pollen on me 10 mins before the ceremony and had a small orange spot all day. it's not like it ruined my day, but check with your florist that all the flowers are dress-friendly and be careful.
also, i wish i didn't look like such a bridezilla in the wedding video footage that's pre-ceremony. i'm not even happily sarcastic.
but overall it was really so much fun, though so overwhelming and unreal. enjoy.
Mir
Friday, October 17, 2003
Ok, I've been in two weddings in the past year. I've done my dutiful BM duties to the nth degree going above and beyond what is needed to help my friends with their big day. Anytime they needed me I was MORE than willing to help and always getting them cute little gifts. Hell, I bought my MOH toasting flutes and bubbles for her wedding. Now it's my turn and two out of the five girls are out of town, so I don't blame them, but it just feels like no one really wants to help. I mean yeah they go, if you need anything, but being a BM means that you are a little more proactive and specific. I mean why have BM if they aren't going to help you. And the damn dresses! I asked them Oct 1st to get me their sizes and here it is almost three weeks later and have two of the five...hello? How hard is it to get measured, I'm even ordering them for you! Phew...feel much better, will be back!
Always doing the work
Friday, October 17, 2003
To MOH-treated-badly: Sounds like she definitely errs on the bad side of things, but keep in mind that it's common that attendants pay for their own dresses. I've paid for six in my lifetime; now I'm finally getting married (and paying for my own gown again, har). I told everyone I'd understand i if it was too expensive so they could opt out and no one did. Just sayin'.
Furhouse
Thursday, October 16, 2003
I'm here to complain. A few weeks ago I found out the best man (my fiancé's best friend) has secretly HATED ME for the entire time HE's KNOWN ME, which has been FOUR YEARS. He essentially said to my fiancé, "It's me or her!" Guess who my fiancé chose? Take that you whining pathetic 30 plus year old living at home with your parents!!!
Bethanne
WI Tuesday, October 14, 2003
I never wanted a ceremony but now I'm jealous of my sister's poofy white wedding. I am thinking of a middle ages theme -- velvet and all of that. Somebody stop me before I end up with pictures of myself dressed as a Live Role-Playing Character or something!!!!!!
Help!!
Les
Sunday, October 12, 2003
So I was in this wedding in MN last year, which is quite far from my home on the East Coast. After shelling out $250 for a plane ticket, $150 for a hotel room, $150 for a rental car, and countless other dollars on wedding-day preparations, I had the most heinous experience - after the rehearsal dinner, the groom (who was staying in the same hotel as all of us wedding party members, instead of at his parents' house...?) cornered me in a hallway and grabbed my boobs. Both of them. With both hands. Then, after I shoved him off and told him to get lost, he started to cry and confessed to me that he had been lying to the bride about finishing college (he didn't) and about how many girls he had cheated on her with (four - one two weeks prior to the wedding). I took off and hid in the room I was sharing with another bridesmaid, where we decided not to tell the bride about the groom's little indiscretions... because the bride is the kind of girl who a) wouldn't believe it and b) would have torn our hair out if we had done anything to damage her day.
Two weeks later, the bride found out, and confronted us both with a horrible screaming angry fit. She got over it, though - and worst of all, believed the groom's lies, and stuck with him. Now all she talks about when she calls is how wonderful their lives are, even though he's a worthless piece of poop who can't hold a job and constantly lies to her about where he's going and what he's doing. And despite the fact that each bridesmaid spent well over $1000 total, she called me once to complain that I hadn't given them a gift (because I couldn't afford it.) Needless to say, I'm screening my phone calls and not answering emails...
This is a great website - I feel so much better, having gotten that (and the groom's hands) off my chest!
Much-abused bridesmaid
Baltimore, MD Friday, October 10, 2003
We are having our weddding at our house, and have invited many of our neighbors. However, the people across the street are tacky, tracky, and keep their poor dogs locked up in a tiny pen. So we didn't invite them. Then they cornered my FH to demand why they weren't invited, which proves they don't deserve to be!
Just say no to rednecks
Monday, October 06, 2003
I have had it! One female that I NEVER asked to be in my wedding party, insists on planning a shower for me. I know her style and it doesn't fit mine. She is calling me and asking me the most mundane questions! ie. why are your cousins not helping me, why won;t you fiance come? (why would he come.. it's an all girl affair!!!)-- Why would he want to be there? My MOH is scared sh*tless of her and has offered to step down so this monster can take her place... I can't stand it. Girls, if given the chance, and if you have enuff nerve, ditch these people. All they do is scare and intimidate people, they take over everything. Watch out for them... slay them before things get outta hand! In the meantime, as long as I avoid her calls, I will maintain my sanity... Woo-saw.... Woo-saw...
Cutie
Monday, October 06, 2003
Bride is treating me like a waitress/robot/whipping post. I was happy to be asked because we're close friends. But now, with her wedding a year away, our friendship has turned into a take-take situation. Please, love your MOH, or set her free! She is not your slave!
MOH in Hell
Friday, October 03, 2003
Why am I so nervous? I found the perfect dress and the perfect place (it'll be both the ceremony AND reception site) all in one weekend! I visited him a month ago and he bought me the most amazing ring I've ever seen. Aside from having to push the date back 4 months, nothing's wrong. So why do I have this feeling that some unfixable catastrophe is just biding its time to strike at the most poignant moment?
Central FL bride
Sunday, September 28, 2003
YESSSSS!
Am now eloping without telling the family! We're just going to get married twice - once our way, and then once for them. Hopefully they won't find out until it's all over, especially since the one they want is the one they're paying for... :)
haHA!
Friday, September 26, 2003
we (my man and i) are invited to a funtion on sunday morning, however i started thinking, so i call the place to "check on the time" only to find out that it's my shower, evil evil evil i'm going to bridal hell.
this is in addition to getting testy with my over bearing mother in law, she's a sweet woman, she just has alot of very very strong opinions about how things should e done.
i will say five hail vera wangs ans two our waterford crystals
sneaky mcsneakster
Friday, September 26, 2003
I am RENTING my dress!
Yuppers- I hereby refuse to spend one 5th of my teeny wedding budget on a big poofy dress that is marked up 200% from reguler retial(no matter how I love it) that I will then have hermetically sealed and lug around for 25 years or more so my hypothetical daughters can MAYBE wear it!
My horrified mom, sister and the bloodsucking retail industry can BITE ME!!
Bite me bridal industry
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
We had about 250 people at our wedding. There were about 12 people who RSVP's and then, never showed. Some had valid reasons, but other's haven't even responded back to my email or call "just checking in to make sure everything is okay since we missed you at the reception" AMAZING!
surprised
Friday, September 19, 2003
We have been together for a couple of yrs and decided to move in to our own place b4 we were married. Only after we moved in my bf told me my soon to be sil placed a bet that we wd never reach the alter once we moved in together. Guess who won't be in the wedding!
Sick of inlaws
Thursday, September 18, 2003
Thanks, wife of groomsman, for making him drop out of our wedding. Just because it's not all about you, we suffer the consequences.
Dropped On
Thursday, September 18, 2003
Thank you friend, for the wedding gift of a picture frame. It must have set you back at least $5.
Thank you too, for making me spend over $400 on a bridesmaids dress, alterations, "black sheer nylons","closed-toe" patent leather shoes, earrings, bachelorette party gift, shower gift, and wedding gift for your special daaaaay. Grrrrrrr!
Framed
Thursday, September 18, 2003
Update from poed - my best friend asked me to change the wedding date (weve finally decided on one, we had to as the wedding is in a little less than a year) because she has a deadline at work 2 weeks after the wedding. I actually considered it, but that would have made it 5 months later (for various legitimate reasons). Still dont have that ring, but I told finance that I feel like a second class citizen - he said now i feel bad. Sorry, its true. Incidentally, he makes a very decent living - Im not trying to get blood from a lemon here. This had better be worth it.
LA
Po'ed princess
La. Wednesday, September 17, 2003
P.S And yes- it IS shitty what he's doing! Do yourself an anit-Bridezilla favor, grab your best friend and take a no-phone, no-men weekend off to spend time on just you with NO talk of weddings.
belle's not ringing
Monday, September 15, 2003
Hi Po'd-
If you don't have a ring and he won't discuss/settle on an official date, don't treat it as an official engagment.
Just stop driving yourself nuts, take a deep breath, smile sweetly at your badgering FMIL and say, "Well, since we haven't even set the date yet, let's not worry about (insert topic of badgering here) until we know what season we'll be planning for.
AND THEN CHANGE THE TOPIC.
That's it. If he asks why you're not playing little busy bridal bee, again, just smile and say "Well, so much of a wedding depends on when it is, so I figure I'll just wait until we decide on the date."
He may set a date and buy the ring, or he may not- but it's not official until you have both!
The belle's not "ring"ing...
Monday, September 15, 2003
I have been "engaged" for oh about two months. I say "engaged" because I haven't seen my ring yet, though I hear it is forth coming. Does anyone else think that is shitty? Also, my MH and one BM totally were rude to me last weekend which has never happened before. My third maybe BM has not even responded to my request that she be in my wedding. I mean, I was in her's and she's one of my best friends. My MIL to be will not stop calling and I'm like your son has not even given me a ring and we can't even agree on where to have the wedding. I have never felt so alone, misunderstood and generally useless in my life. Maybe I am bridezilla and don't know it and that is why I'm being treated like a leper. Ahhhh.
po'ed princess
La Monday, September 15, 2003
So I get married in thirteen days and I keep finding stuff that I need to do. All the stuff for weddings is horribly overpriced!! Why in the world should I shell out that much for a book or a candleholder? Do I look bloody stupid? And what is up with the costs for dresses?! I found the one I wanted on sale and I put my bridesmaids in prom dresses (same beautiful stuff, half the cost) because I refuse to give into this stupid culture that has spawned up around the whole wedding thing. And don't even get me started on junior bridesmaids dresses. Why exactly is a girl's size 8 the exact same price as a woman's size 14??? Anyway, to any of the overpriced vendors out there, stop the stupid overpricing. I'm a bride, not a bloody moron. I know when I'm getting dinked over and you can take your overpriced fees and stick them where the sun doesn't shine!!!!
Not Exactly a Brideszilla
Sunday, September 14, 2003
I was married in Italy and complained about our non-English speaking photographers in front them, only to find out later that they understood English quite well...
La Sposa cattiva <email>
Evanston, IL Thursday, September 11, 2003
Dear Best Man,
Thanks so much for the $5 garlic press and $20 cookbook, you cheap bastard.
Dear People I Didn't Want to Invite, But It Made Grandma Happy,
Thanks for your $50 check. Guess you didn't realize the reception cost $80 a head. Ever hear of covering your plate?
Also, we were so glad you brought your kid, who was not invited! 17 year olds can stay home by themselves. Good thing somebody didn't show up, you bumpkins.
God, I am so bitter.
Greedy Greedy
Thursday, September 11, 2003
I freaked out for like 6 hours on my mother because she refused to make the cake I want and is instead making the one she wants- I told her I hated her
nobody in specific
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
Ok. I know you shouldn't consider how much people spend on you. I know that...but I can't help it. Our friends who have money, who we bought a nice gift for them at their wedding, just sent us a nice gift (it was even from our registry) but I can't help feeling they seriously lowballed us.
Whating the Price Tag
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
Ok, I am not one to complain about people much, but damn I am pissed!! My girlfriends threw me the most fabulous bridal shower I have ever been to. They rented out a clubhouse and had a karaoke machine there. They even had a margarita station where you could blend them up yourself, making them as strong or gentle as you like. It was a great time. Even the husbands of my friends, and my fiance were there. After the party was winding down, 7 hours later, I realized that not one person from my work came. I gave everyone at work an invite as to be fair, and 9 people RSVP'd but not one of them showed up nor did they call to cancel. I go to all of their little stamp parties and birthday parties where I have to pay for my own meal and bring a gift and buy a gown, and not one of them could even show up for an hour. I had three up coming invitations sitting on my desk, for parties that people at my work are throwing. Well, when I got into work today, I just tossed them, and used white out on one that I had already RSVP'd and cancelled. I figure, why go to their things, when they can't even come to my only bridal shower. But, now I know not to invite them to my reception, or any other function I will have in the future. But, all of the people who really matter to me were there. Damn people, RSVPin' and not representin'!!!
RSVP means what again...
Colorado Springs, CO Monday, September 08, 2003
My sister (MOH) and FMIL planned the most wonderful bridal shower yesterday -- great, cool spot, my favorite people, lovely food, all those gifts (how cool to tell people what you want and then they give it to you!). I coordinated with one of my bridesmaids to have her come pick me up at my house and we'd go together to the shower. I mentioned that another friend would meet us at my house and she could drive with us. Unfortunately, my bridesmaid misunderstood. It turned out that she thought I was driving in with this other friend and when I called her to find out where she was (10 minutes after I was supposed to be there and 45 minutes away from the shower site) she was just pulling up in front of the restaurant. I was so shocked that I practically hung up on her and just requested, with gritted teeth, that could she please tell my sister why I would be 45 minutes late for my own dang shower (the only one I'm having). A few minutes later one of my other bridesmaids called, telling me not be stressed, that everyone was there, chitchatting, having a lovely time and getting along just fine until I could get there. I said, "I'm not stressed, I'm just really p-d off!". So, I was 45 minutes late for my own shower, which made me really sad. It was a lovely shower, though, and I was so honored and delighted by everyone and everything there. I apologized to my bridesmaid for everything and she apologized to me ("I only had one thing to remember: the bride. And I forgot that!"). All is well now, I'm just sad to have missed some of the time with my friends and family. I am certain that this will be the only snafu with all things wedding related. We're now 6 weeks away from the big day and I just can't wait to be married to this wonderful guy. Everyone has been so gracious, including one of my bridesmaids who is engaged and getting married next summer; when I ask her about her plans, she'll just answer quickly and then say something about how this is about my wedding, not hers. I feel very lucky, so no more complaining for me!
Soon to be Wed!
Sunday, September 07, 2003
I can be genuinely happy for people when I think it's something good for them. My best friend's fiance gets on my nerves and I think they're both too young and haven't been together long enough (and I'm a good friend friend b/c I haven't breathed a word of my doubts to her and graciously congratulated her - I know you "can't tell 'em nothin'").
She's so absorbed in him and her wedding (which I'm getting out of because I'm moving oversees and don't have the cash to come back for it - hehehe!), and has no time for me. We'll I'm tired of being the only one putting effort into our friendship. I'm going to wait for her to call me and I'm not holding my breath. We'll see if she still has me as a friend before she gets married. I won't "break up" with her, but I won't be surprised if it withers away because of no contact.
too young 4 this
Thursday, September 04, 2003
I met my fiance while I was rooming with a friend and co-worker. When she and I moved in together, we were both single...since then, I've become engaged, I've gotten a job with another company, and she began dating a singularly unpleasant individual. (We are ending our lease this month, much to my relief.) Roomie's boyfriend lies around the house all day, pays no rent, makes a gigantic mess in the living room and kitchen (he's particularly fond of leaving his dirty dishes next to the sink while I'm washing dishes, without so much as a "please" or "thank-you"), parks his obnoxious hot-rod in the best spots in the lot, and just generally gets on my last nerve. I initially asked Roomie to be a bridesmaid; however, a few months into my planning, she had a financial setback and opted out, and mentioned that she also felt uncomfortable since we are not as "buddy-buddy" now as we are when I invited her to be in the wedding. (I know, I'm a wuss. I should kick her idiot bf out, but I hate arguments. To preserve the peace, I don't say anything about his obnoxious behavior, but I don't strike up conversation with or about him, either. I believe that she views my coolness toward him as being less than buddy-buddy with her.) Of course I was glad that she didn't commit herself financially to being a bridesmaid, and my fiance and I would love to see her at the wedding. The problem...what do we do about her boyfriend? When she was a bridesmaid, my fiance and I were going to swallow our chagrin and invite him, since we felt that the bridesmaids all deserved the opportunity to bring a date, after all their hard work. However, our guest list is very small (120 people max), and we both hate this guy...so my evil Bridezilla confession is that we are going to invite Roomie sans date. Fiance and I had discussed inviting her best platonic friend...until I met him and discovered that he is the b*tchiest, flamboyant-interior-designer-type person I have ever met. If I invite him, he will (loudly) critique every last detail of my wedding...we are not having a frou-frou designer wedding anyway, although we will be fairly traditional. Interior-designer's other friend is getting married a month before me, so I'm sure my wedding will be unfavorably compared to her lovely, perfect, expensive wedding for upwards of five hours. So, Roomie must go stag or stay home. My Catholic guilt complex is writhing in agony.
VocaPopula
Thursday, September 04, 2003
Hi Ladies,
I have contributed to this site on and off through out the planning of our wedding which was last Friday night. We leave for our honeymoon this coming weekend. I thought I would share some of what we did and a few lessons learned. I know everyone needs to experience life first hand and even the best advise is often left untaken, but here is some information that you might be able to use.
First...my lesson learned:
1 My mom suggested that when we give the party house our final count, to knock off about 10 people from it since often times there a few people who say they are coming, but don't. Most reception places can accommodate up to 10% over your final count so this isn't a bad idea. We were expecting 227, I listened to my mother but only a little. We gave a final count of 222. Due to various reasons (some understandable, some that make me think some people we invited have no understanding of what a wedding costs or the fact WE still incur the cost even if they don't show) we ultimately ended up with a count around 215. Either way, you pay for the number you provide with your final count. Lesson learned.... I wish I had listened to my mom and gave a final count of 217. We would have saved a few $100. Oh well.
2. Don't try to be reasonable or understanding with the Bridal place regarding your dress or veil...push them to get everything done and delivered to you at least 1 week before the wedding, if not earlier! Become Bridezilla if you have to! Better with them, than at your wedding. I was exhausted at the reception because Thursday night when we got home from the rehearsal and opened the veil garment bag (at midnight) to take the veils out (that a reputable Bridal Store pushed to the last minute the day before the wedding) we realized, they had gotten the wrong veils. I know, this may be a small detail to some, but the whole wedding veil image I had in my mind was important because that made me feel like a bride. Anyway, I woke up a few times through out Thursday night thinking about the veils worrying about how we would resolve the whole issue, and then, I woke up for good at 5am on Friday morning! The lack of quality sleep really took it's toll. Here is a plug for David's Bridal! I didn't get my dress through them but they were awesome for accommodating my last minute veil needs!!!!!!!!!
3. Really try to get a lot sleep the few days before the wedding!!!!! IT WILL MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE!!! I know, I didn't and I was so exhausted that I feel bad that we spent all of that money and all I really wanted to do was go to bed. : (
4. Don't wait or procrastinate wrapping attendant gifts till the night of the rehearsal. Try to get as much done as early as possible. It seems like you have plenty of time, and all of a sudden, the wedding day is here. Ideally, the less you have to do, the better! It is really important to try and rest and relax prior so you have the energy to enjoy it and party with friends and family.
Our wedding was really cool. We did some neat things. I had a decorator place about 400 white and silver balloons over the dance floor and attached some to the full size wine bottles we gave as favors that were placed on each table. The balloons were very festive and added a vertical height decorative touch. In total the balloons cost about $380 but we felt it was money well spent! not too mention the kids loved them.
We hired the Greater Rochester Jazz Orchestra, which is a 18 piece band that plays music like Frank Sinatra and Billie Holiday. It was different than the typical DJ and top 40 music. Don't get me wrong, I love that too. In fact the weekend prior we went to another friends wedding who had a DJ and I danced all night. We were just looking for something different.
We had a lady who makes customize cake toppers out of dough make ours. It was a miniture bride and groom and looked just like me and my fiance. We also had a rottweiler and 2 kittens added to it since we have pets. They looked great on the cake topper with us.
Steve my husband now :) , spent a lot of time making a slide show of pictures of us and with our friends and family since the time we were born. This was a huge hit at the reception. We had about 200 pictures in the show and it took 20 minutes to run through 1 cycle. Up until 11:30 there were usually about 6 people standing in front of it watching it.
Hmm, I know there are a lot more details that we did that were special for us, but I can't write them all. The key thing is to do as much OR AS LITTLE AS you want. Just make the wedding yours! The day goes by so fast! I had great attendants who kept reminding me to "enjoy the moment"! That was nice. My husband Steve was so awesome and very positive, complimentary, and patient. Make sure to remember that the wedding if for both of you. Try to hold hands and stay together during it when visiting with guest.
Okay, sorry for the rambling! I hope that all who read this have a wonderful wedding day and that this will be the only wedding you will have in your life!
Live the fairytale!!!!!
Tricia...wedding was last Friday. <email>
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
Dear Dumped,
I know just how you feel. 5 Years ago, I was engaged to someone who called off the wedding 4 months before our wedding date. He had joined the army, while we were dating without even telling me about his plans. Than I find out he is going to Kansas and asks me to marry him. Part of me, wasn't ready to get married, I was only 20, but I decided that I didn't want to be without him, so I said yes. I put my life on hold for 6 months while he was in boot camp. I know normally boot camp doesn't take that long but there was a problem that kept him there. I planned the wedding myself without his help. Than he finally he graduates and I spend my money to go to his graduation in Kentucky. I spend 2 weeks with him and he acts like he still wants to marry me. So we meet with the minister and he picks out the tux and so forth.. Than he leaves to go to Kansas and doesn't call me for almost 3 weeks. Than finally, he calls me and has a whole conversation with me, where he even tells me that he loves me. Right before we get off the phone, he says that he doesn't want to marry me and makes me feel that I am at fault. It hurt me in way that I have never felt before. I was ready to give up my friends, my family and everything to be with him. Plus my family hated the fact that I was marrying him. My Mom and Dad tried so hard to talk me out of getting married. But I thought that he was the one and no matter what, nobody could talk me out of it. To make matters worse, I found out from a friend that he got married to someone else less than a year after we broke up. But almost 3 years ago, I met someone who was the sweetest person in the world. He became my friend and than we started a relationship together and I am 17 days away from our wedding day. I have done 2 confessions about being stressed out by other people. But I come to realize that despite all the stress, I am marrying my best friend who truly loves me, as I love him. I know right now all you can think about is the pain and hurt. I didn't think I would ever be happy again, and spent numerous days crying myself to sleep. But I knew I had to start living my life again and after awhile all that pain began to pass. When I was ready, I began to date again. Now I am getting married and this time, I truly know that it is real. My relationship with him is completely different than the first time. Plus my family is very happy and supportive of this marriage. In time, I know you feel happiness again. Just hang in there, you will find it. I am living proof of that.
Understanding Bride
MD Wednesday, September 03, 2003
My fiance decided about 6 hours before the wedding that his family meant more to him than I did. I am so ridiculously upset. I totally don't know what to do with the rest of my life. I gave up everything to be with him. I was moving to a different state. I sold my house, quit my job, just so that I could go live a happy life with him and it has totally backfired.
dumped on the day <email>
Saturday, August 30, 2003
To Sawatee-
I think you are worrying too much about superficial appearances. Your friend's jewelry is part of who she is, and you should accept your friends warts and all, if you're asking them to stand up for you on your wedding day. Also, many piercings cannot be removed and put back in without a lot of discomfort.
Globe_girl
Friday, August 29, 2003
I love my man, want to be his wife...but I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A WEDDING!! He does. We're both from HUGE families, it would WWIII if we didn't have the big affair.
The reason for my reluctance?
My Mom suffers from clinical depression, and has been the MOB from hell on my four other sisters' and my brother's weddings. One of my sisters does too, and while they are good about the meds..SOMETIMES, big family affairs can turn into snippy nightmares if they forget to take the pills. And now, I find out that my FH's youngest sister is bipolar, and tends to act out when
A- it's a family occasion and
B- She's not the center of attention.
We're talking big messy public scenes, here. And she tends to be careless about taking her meds in a timely fashion, and taking care of herself.
Did I mention that I love all of the above dearly? And I don't want anything to happen that will cause inter-family ill will?
I was already dreading my "trial by wedding" and how to keep my sister and mother happy/involved while still sweetly insisting on keeping SOME of the wedding what my FH and I want it to be, while staying cool and calm myself.
But now I'm faced with managing them AND a possibly doubly volatile FSIL.
I can't mention the benefits of taking her meds- she'd never forgive me (and it would be unspeakably rude- it really isnt her fault she got handed a brain with a chemical glitch!). And her parent's can't say anything either- she'd just get rebellious and figure out a way to piss them all off for even mentioning it.
But I'm just exhausted at the idea of so many people to look after and keep happy while trying to keep myself relaxed and jitter free.
I know a wedding's really not about "MY special day" -it's about two familys and their friends coming together to celebrate a new union. But I think my head is going to explode......
Wanna be Vegas Bride
Friday, August 29, 2003
I have turned into a total and complete psycho. I've bitched out one bridesmaid twice because she isn't getting her measurements taken/ordering her dress fast enough. I am furious with my MOH because she sent out bridal shower invitations three weeks before the shower, which is Labor Day weekend, so everyone already had plans. Then I canceled a trip to visit her and instead paid for a hotel that night because she wouldn't drive half an hour out of her way to pick me up. I now screen my calls because my grandmother won't stop butting her nose into my wedding business. And I've talked some much smack about my FMIL it's ridiculous. And that's how I treat the people I love? What has happened to the sweet girl I was before I became engaged?
AutumnBride2B
Atlanta, GA Friday, August 29, 2003
Sawatdee--since it's just a temporary thing, if this BM is a real friend she shouldn't have a hissy about removing her rings just for the wedding. it's not like you're asking her to take them out forever or something. if she can't do that TINY thing for you, then she's a selfish person & wouldn't make a good BM. my friend Daisy was getting married & asked a mutal friend to be a BM. the friend (white girl) stated she was about to dreading her hair. daisy asked her to please wait until after the wedding to have her dreads done, b/c as we all know 99% of white people dreads look TERRIBLE. the wedding was only a few weeks away. the friend said no, went and got her hair all dreaded up (it looked terrible of course) and then got all mad when she was told she couldn't be a BM anymore. i mean i saw the BM dresses and a girl with dreads would've have looked absolutely ridiculous as this was a pretty formal wedding in the south.
Gambitgirl
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
So we've been engaged for a year and a half, and just this summer decided to set a date and book a place. We decided to get married in my home town, and since none of our guests actually live there, we want to make it worthwhile for them to spend a bit of vacation time. Every summer there is an international fireworks festival, and although they don't have the dates yet for next year, we figured out when we'd be guaranteed to get them.
But when we sat down with all our parents to make sure it was ok, turns out that particular date is the only one that isn't. My stepmother (with whom I only superficially get along) goes back east every year for her mother's birthday. But get this, her mother is dead(!) Yes, but she celebrates the birthday anyway, with her father and brother.
So the evil-zilla thought went through my head to book the day anyway, and just tell her it was the only one available. I know she'd be unhappy, but would come anyway. But I resisted! We booked the week after, and now we have only a 50% chance of getting fireworks. But at least I have hope that I won't turn into bridezilla...
Resisted so far
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
My confession is that I want my best friend, a superb female impersonator, to be my Maid of Honor. I keep asking myself: is it etiquettely correct to ask the other guests to mutilate - I mean, pierce and/or tatoo themselves to go better with the theme of my wedding? I mean, since it goes with my religion. I figure, since it is my religion that I should get my Great Aunt Matilda to AT THE VERY LEAST get a temporary tatoo.
Ahhh, that felt good to get off my hairy, upholstered chest.
Hellbound Alleee <email>
Anjou, PQ Monday, August 25, 2003
I'm not a bridezilla, but figured that since the real bridezilla would never fess up, I might as well do it for her and get it off my chest. My formerly best friend asked me and her other best friend to be MOHs and we were both thrilled. I bought her a wedding planning book and told her I would help her with whatever she needed. Now, while this was all going on, my mother was dying of brain cancer and I was trying to finish grad school. Needless to say, my finances were tight and I was a bit worried about the wedding. To make a long story short: the bride never informed me of wedding plans, even though I continually asked (and looked like a bitch to the other BM's when I didn't know); made us pay for our own dresses, shoes, hair, make-up, bridesmaid luncheon, etc. etc; was ungrateful and bitchy; and never asked me how my mother was doing or how I was coping! She spent money on herself only, not on making sure the guests were comfortable. No dinner, although it was an evening wedding (my boyfriend and I went to a late night Taco Bell afterwards because we were starving!)No music or dancing, because she didn't want to "see old people dancing." The other maid of honor and I planned and paid for a bridal shower at a restaurant (she didn't tell us that most invited women wouldn't show up, so we ended up buying more favors, food, etc) and then paid for a fun girls' night out. I was the perfect MOH, helping her with her dress, holding the bouquet, etc. etc. NOT ONCE did she thank me or even express happiness for my help or for the bridal shower and girls' night out. I ended up spending a lot more money that I had planned (and could afford). Well, at least I'll get a nice thank you gift, I thought. Wrong. She gave all the bridesmaids, her female attendant, and me and the other maid of honor the same cheap tacky necklace. To top it all off, she never sent me a thank you note!!
Just wanted to remind all you brides-to-be to remember to thank the ones that are helping you and putting up with your mood swings! Try to remember to thank people frequently and apologize if you act terrible.
MOH treated badly
Sunday, August 24, 2003
I just wanted to interject with a little cheer amidst this gloomy morass of bridal calamity. Everything is going GREAT for us, not least because of our wonderful friends and family. My FBIL, especially,has been a godsend -- coordinating the reception, picking up the flowers, the whole nine. What a guy. I was being a total 'zilla until quite recently, but the wedding is next week and things are going swimmingly.
Hurrah!
RevD
Friday, August 22, 2003
TO SAWATDEE: Yes, I think it is fine to ask her to remove her piercings and mutilations--ESPECIALLY if your ceremony is a religious one.
NMbride
Friday, August 22, 2003
Hello to all brides and bridezilas, I have a question for everyone, Is it appropriate to ask a bridesmaid to remove her rather large eyebrow ring and nosering for my wedding ceremony? I dotn want to be a bridezilla, but it doesnt go with the classic feel of my wedding.
Sawatdee
Friday, August 22, 2003
Does anyone else feel like they are totally slipping up in other areas of their life?? I keep screwing up at work cause ALL I can think about is the dang wedding! Cannot prioritize! Help!
Stressing
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
My fiancee' is having problems with his father. His parent's are divorced, and his father said that he refused to take a picture with his mother in it. This is something that my fiancee' really wants (he never asks his father for anything in his life), and I feel that on his special day, he father should honor any wish that he wants. Well all this is getting the best of everybody involved- my fiancee` is now saying that he might not even want his father to come to the wedding if he won't respect him, and they haven't spoken in weeks. I don't know what to do. Even though I want whatever my fiancee wants, and I will back him up on whatever he chooses- I would like to have his father present at the wedding. His father's 4 year old daughter is going to be my flower girl (she is sooooo adorable and excited about it), and if her father isn't invited, she won't be going either. I want them to settle everything, but if his father is going to be as spiteful as he has always been to him in the past, I don't see him getting invited. I am angry at his father for everything he has done and said, but I still would want my children to know their grandfather. This whole thing is really ruining the planning of a very special day. I hate it!
family issues
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Pull up a chair ladies, I have a story to tell you and it is all about a bridezilla from Canada. My FH and I got engaged in May 2002. We were so excited, we had been together for 2 years and could not wait to tell our families. Due to the fact that we do not live in the same town, we kept it a secret for a week until we could tell them in person. Apon arriving in our hometown, we went to my families house first. We went into the house and before I even got my coat off I announced that we had some big news. My parents were thrilled, my brother and FSIL were there and from them, we did not get a congratulations, we got:" Well, you can't have August 2003" So, now I am thinking, okay, they have been engaged for over a year and they choose now to set a date, fine. Afterwards, we headed over to FH's family. When everyone was gathered in the room, FH made the announcement. Before anyone could get a word out, FSIL says: "Well, you can't have May 2003". When we asked why, we were told that she and her SO were planning to marry in May. Apparently, they had not announced their engagement because he had not bought her a ring yet. So, now, here we are, we kept the secret for a week so that we could surprise everyone, and our siblings had to make it about them.
We did not let it drag us down, we began planning our wedding, however, it became a competition between myself and FH's sis. She was constantly comparing her ideas to mine, I was trying not to tell her anything because I didn't want to share my ideas. I was always complaining to FH that his sister was driving me nuts, she had to make everything about her, her ideas were always better and I should be taking her advice. As it turned out, my brother and his SO decided to postpone their nuptials until 2004. So we planned ours for September 2003, a full 4 months after FSIL, we let her have the month we had originally wanted. As we moved full speed ahead with the plans, I asked FSIL to be a BM. She said yes, only to come back 1 week later and tell me she was not cut out to be a BM, she said:"I would be better at planning it for you, so you won't have to worry about anything." I just told her she did not have to be in the wedding, she could watch with the rest of the family. Like hell, are you going to plan my wedding for me!!!!! Plan your own !!! I soon discovered that her wedding was not going to happen the way she had planned. FSIL and her FI decided to do a destination wedding on a beach somewhere. That explains why she wanted to plan mine, she didn't have her own to plan anymore. With Destinantion weddings, the resort does everything.
I took a step back and told myself that I was being a bridezilla and that I needed to cut her some slack and get a grip. As the months flew by, FSIL tried to give advice and make suggestions, I just smiled and acknowledged her, then I ignored her suggestions unless it was something I had already thought of.
Then to add fuel to the fire, FH's cousin announces about 8 months ago that she is getting married too! FH's cousin approaches my FMIL and asks her if she would talk to us about changing our date. Why, you ask?? Because she wants OUR DATE!!!!!!!! The nerve!!!!!At this point, we had already been planning our wedding for almost a year. When FH's cousin discovered that hell would freeze over before we would switch to accomodate her, she planned her wedding 3 WEEKS after us !!!!
Now, here we are, 17 days until our wedding, FSIL has been married for just over 3 months, and I am ashamed to admit that I take a perverse pleasure in knowing that hers is all over and ours is coming. I am also ashamed to admit that I am thrilled that she had a little wedding on a beach with only a few people, FH's cousin is having a sort of back yard barbeque wedding with out anything fancy and we are having the works!!! Our wedding is going to be the event of the year for our families!!!! FH and I can't wait to party!!! If I can just keep the bridezilla in me in check for a couple more weeks, it will all be over. *phew*
It is unreal what planning a wedding does to us, it changes us into something we are not always proud of.....
Hang in there ladies, it will all be worth it in the end!!!
Canadian Bridezilla
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Wow - Bridezilla gets arrested! I've been waiting for this story for years.
Webcowgirl
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
My wedding is now a month away. I can't wait to get it over with! I have been so upset over this wedding lately. First, I feel like that, I am not getting any help from my bridesmaids. My MOH (Who is also my sister), My mom and my mother in law, threw my shower without any help from them and they even showed up right before I got there. Months ago, It was like pulling teeth to get them to order their dresses. I had to keep bothering them to go. They are all due to get their fittings by the first part of Sept and so far none of them have even bothered to schedule one. I tried to call them on several occasions and needed help for various things, and they don't seem to return my calls. All 3 of them have been my friends for years and I don't understand why they aren't more supportive of me. One of the girls, I was her MOH this year and really busted my butt and spent a lot for her wedding and I would have thought she would have returned the favor. Plus my MOH is pregnant and cannot throw a bachlorette party for me, the bridesmaids have said they would help and do the planning. But so far, no plans have been made. My MOH keeps complaining to me that they aren't return her calls about this. Speaking of my sister, my MOH, she has always needed to be the center of attention and has always been a very selfish person. I called her last night, because I was upset and stressed out over the wedding and she was so harsh to me. She told me that she had more important things to deal with than my wedding and that I need to grow up and not bother her with my problems. I really wished that she wasn't in my wedding. We aren't not really close at all, and I only made her my MOH, because I was hers a few years ago and my parents insisted that she was mine. Plus her and my bridesmaids don't mix well, and I think that is part of the reason, I am not getting much support from them. Another reason for my getting upset, is that we don't even have close to our wedding count. People have 10 more days to RSVP and I am waiting to hear from about 50 people still. Why do people wait till the last minute for things? I am sure that I am going to have to call people to find out if they are coming or not. My mom keeps calling everyday to find out who sent their cards back. Which doesn't help matters at all. Plus my mother in law means well, but everyday she wants to know something about the wedding or asks me questions and wants to add/change things, which is also very stressful. I keep telling myself that I should be happy but I keep getting upset over things. I just want to marry my sweetheart and be his wife. I keep saying to him that we just should have eloped. But I thought that I would have this perfect happy wedding and not have all this stress. The sad part is, the stress is all because of other people. Would you believe, that normally I am the most laid back person in the world, what has this wedding done to me?
Stressed Out Bride
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Ok, i'm not a bride...but I went to bad wedding two days ago, & if anything I am saying rings a bell with any of your brides-to-be TAKE HEED!
First of all there were WAY too many guests for the location. The wedding & reception were held in the same place, a small swim & raquet club house. Not only was it too crowded, there were not enough chairs for everyone, so not only did I have to stand for the wedding but for most of the reception too! Before the wedding there were about 30 chairs laid out in rows with a space in the middle for the "aisle", and all the chairs has "Reserved" signs on them before the ceremony & we assumed they were for the bride & grooms' families. Nope, they were for the groomsmen & bridesmaids. They sat down during the ceremony, leaving about 10 chairs empty. BTW, 10 attendents each? That's insane. No one else sat in the chairs b/c by now the ceremony had started. The groomsmen had never even bothered to seat anyone in the extra chairs before the ceremony. There were a lot of elderly relatives there who really could have used a seat & they were forced to stand the whole time! One old lady was on OXYGEN & wound up sitting on the hearth of the fireplace b/c the chairs were off limits.
Add to that the fact that the bride was over 1 hour later to her own wedding, which meant everyone had to stand even longer. Fortunately, the reception took place right afterwards. I went outside to the club's patio hoping there would be extra chairs...nope! In total, there were probably 60 chairs both inside and outside for about 120 guests! Incidentally, the clubhouse did not turn the A/C down low enough so in addition to having too many people in the room & not enough chairs it was swelteringly hot! The poor groom almost melted into a puddle in his full tuxedo waiting that extra hour for the bride to get her butt in gear & show up. The bride appared completely distracted during the ceremony, she was looking everywhere except at the minster or the groom. The waved at the guest & posed for the camera during the ceremony. She made one of her bridesmaids go get her a bottled water b/c she was hot and sipped from her water b/c she couldn't wait the 20 minutes it would've taken for the ceremony to be over. Meanwhile the groom is pouring sweat in his full tux that he's been stuck in for hours & no one is offering him a drink. During the prayer while the groom has bowed his head she turned her head away from the entire congregartion & spent almost a full minute checking herself out in the mirror behind the pastor! Very odd behavior, everyone was raising their eyebrows. I really think someone may have given her a tranquilizer before the wedding b/c she's a well-know high-strung person & they probably needed to sedate her just to get her there.
I saw the groom during the reception (awesome food saved me from giving the whole thing a thumbs-down) and complained that he'd asked his relatives to organize when events would occur during the reception (first dance, toasts, cake cutting) but they were all busy drinking & partying so he had no idea when anything was going to happen. A lot of people on the patio missed the cake cutting & the toasts b/c no one knew when they happened. I cught a glimps of the first dance through a window.
The bride and groom appared to have a great time, but almost every one of the guest I spoke too complained about the heat, the crowding, and the lack of places to sit, and bride acting cracked out.
Gambitgirl
Monday, August 18, 2003
i'm my sister's maid of honour. My sister is a "special" character. I'm beyond frustration - deeply hurt. My sister is negative, non-communicative selfish and ungrateful. I don't even want to go to her wedding let alone be her maid of honour. How am i supposed to give a speech when i have no good will towards her..."nice ceremony, thanks for making my life unpleasant, always but especially leading up to this wedding...oh and to the groom thank you sooo much for marrying her, good luck and good bye!!!!!" I would love to just bail! Ok my rant is over...good luck to everyone dealing with already difficult people during such a stessful time.
sad sister
Saturday, August 16, 2003
Well I've already complained on this page before about my future MIL, well now its my own mother that is driving me crazy. I'm an indifferent bride. I'm not picky and I don't care about many things, my mom is making an issue out of everything. Everything including aisle runners, party favors, how things are going to get set up as centerpieces on the table HAVE GOT TO BE DECIDED NOW with her. I have 4 weeks. Most everything is done, but if I don't make a decision as soon as she asks the question, I, me, turn into this "horrible" person, who "obviously doesn't care" how the wedding will turn out. I think this has gone a little overboard with her, but I can't say anything, because once I do, then she won't help. Is there any end to this madness. I've nearly had enough. I knew I should of eloped when I had the chance. This is isn't worth the headaches, hassles, and effort anymore. I'M READY FOR THIS TO BE OVER! THIS IS Not an enjoyable experience.
2ND confession!
IS IT OVER YET, Thursday, August 14, 2003
ive dyed my hair pink because my sister in law is bridezilla and shes being snotty about what the guests are wearing
lucy
Thursday, August 14, 2003
my parents and his parents our making me physically ill with stress as they wrangle over whose traditions get to be displayed during our 20-minute non-religious ceremony. groom-to-be is a russian-jewish immigrant who came to the US with his parents 23 yrs ago when he was 7. i'm a US-born catholic. we thought it was all set - that WE'D be in charge of OUR ceremony and blend our cultures, but our parents have been arguing. the mother of the groom has threatened not to come if she doesn't get to stand up front with us, as is her tradition. and my dad is threatening to pull the money he gave us (initially with no strings) if he ends up throwing a "jewish wedding" and doesn't get to "give" me away, as is his tradition. neither my future husband or i are religious, but we'd like to honor traditions that aren't necessarily religious. my parents bullied us with money to get their way, his mom is bullying us by her threats, and neither side seems to care what they're doing to us! i actually had to take a sick day due to stress headache and stomach upset, and general sense that i'd rather pay for it myself than have to continue to be under my dad's thumb. i moved out 10 yrs ago and thought we were way beyond that bullshit. thank god for my man, though. he's stood beside me even when my parents are being bullies, and think they're not being so because they're wearing smiles.
ms_persistent
San Francisco, CA Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Poor in Portland, please contact me! I think I can help!
Rev. Figley <email>
Vancouver, WA Monday, August 11, 2003
I offered to pay half for my brother's wedding cake if he and his bride to be went with a particular cake maker in town that makes super-yummy cakes with real butter. I hope this didn't come off as controlling - I really do like my sister in law to be but I also really liked the idea of having some good cake at their wedding! PS: They went for it, I hope that means I'm not FIL-zilla.
FIL-zilla?
Seattle, WA Thursday, August 07, 2003
I think I've been very good up until now. But now I'm about to go over the cliff. We got engaged August of last year and I immediately asked good friend to be bridesmaid and she accepted and asked what she could do to help. I'm a meeting planner by profession so don't really need a lot of help used to doing all the planning stuff - pretty easy. But lately I've been feeling VERY overwhelemed with life in general. Had gastric by-pass sugery in April - then had complications which kept me home for 2 1/2 months - then while on medical leave on the way home from the doctor someone hits my car and totals it. Came back to work mid June and had BOXES stacked behind my desk. Work planned MAJOR meeting one month before my wedding and didn't really tell me the extent of it until last week. Mom keeps inviting people I don't even know to the wedding - every day new people are added - new people I don't even know. I made all the invitations that went out 2 months ago - so I keep having to buy more paper and print more invitations - which have about 5 pieces. Now- since the wedding is in NC - mom has invited all the women invited to the wedding to the shower. Shower is looking like 60 people with homemade biscotti that match the color of the flower arrangements ? and the bridesmaids dresses - which of course they won't be wearing at the shower. Good bridesmaid friend who wanted to help at first is now not helping - probably not even coming to the shower - and didn't want the dress I picked out because it showed her arms. Even though I tried on the dress and it looked good on me and I am bigger than her and I was going to pay for it. Not feeling very excited about all the stuff - just want to get married to my wonderful, sexy, caring, best friend.
Over stressed Bride
Thursday, August 07, 2003
i am going to church because it will be cheaper.. i dont really believe what he is talking about but ok if its gonna be cheaper, ill be there every sunday
pitchfrkgirl <email>
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
My confession is that I will be breaking so many biblical rules and traditions at my wedding, I would surely be stoned to death. My confession is also that I feel absolutely fine about it, because the pinkest and laciest and most "christian" of weddings also is stoning-or-burning-at-the-stake-worthy. Why should I be any different? Take "honor thy father" for instance. My wedding will, to some, dishonor him since he will not be walking me down any dumb old aisle. I imagine that, had he sexually abused me (and he certainly has not) like the earlier message, not only would he not be walking me down the aisle, he would be burned - along with me - at the stake. In public. (One might just try and ignore the book of leviticus if one is planning a wedding. Too much bloodshed.)My other confession is that I will not be having any bridesmaids or maids of honor or best men or anything like that. Too moldy a tradition. If I were, I confess I would not be requiring them to sign a contract with a morals clause to be able to "stand up for me" at my wedding. I imagine that anyone I liked enough to invite would be welcome to stand up any time during the ceremony they wanted. Even if their sexual history was somwehow worse than my own. I confess, O father who I hope has a sexual history somewhat better than my own, that I HAVE a sexual history that includes persons other than my fiancé, and I confess that I plan on reciting no incantations to atone for that history. Not only that, but I do not intend to pretend that history does not exist. In Reason's Name, Amen.
Hellbound Alleee <email>
Montréal, QC Wednesday, August 06, 2003
For Horrible Bride -
You don't have to have anyone you don't want in your wedding! I'm sure it's going to cause an uproar among "some people" when I don't have my fiance's sister-in-law as a bridesmaid, but I have always pictured just my best friend and my sister. Only thing is, it will be obvious that she wasn't asked because he will have more attendents than I. The real reason I don't want her, though, is that she cheated on her husband to be (fiance's brother) for 3 months and only ended it 4 mos. before the wedding when she got busted. Now why the hell would I want someone like that standing at my side as I pledge to love and be FAITHFUL to my man?
JustMe
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Ok so I just got engaged 4 months ago and our wedding is still a year away come November and I have already got most of the wedding planning done. I have chosen mmy bridal party but only one of them seems even half way excited and I dont know whether I should ask them to buy their own dresses. I refuse to be a bridezilla. If they buy the dresses I will gladly pay for their hair and makeup but I still feel bad that I would like to ask them to buy their dresses. Plus FIL's are not helping to plan anything. FH has been listening to all the plans but wants nothing to do with them. He would rather just go to Vegas.....I have always dreamed of a wedding though. I hope I am not being too unreasonable. I feel like I am supposed to ask his sis to be a BM but I have already chosen my bridal party and it is not that I dont like her but I have already asked the people and just dont know about having another BM. UGH I am horrible!!!!!
Horirible bride <email>
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
My half-sister asked me to be in her bridal party and I said yes, then said no when she told me her father would walk her down the aisle. He had sexually abused both of us and torn apart our family. Fifteen years later, she told me she has to "honor thy father" - but I couldn't handle being in the same room with him and bailed on the whole event. I feel bad about not being there for her wedding but it was just too much. I'm trying to stitch our weak relationship together now. It wasn't the wedding that tore us apart - it was her father that originally tore us apart - and I'm hoping someday we can really feel like we ARE sisters instead of just being two people who have a mother in common.
Annie
Phoenix, AZ Tuesday, August 05, 2003
I'm so depressed about my financial situation. I just want to get married in a beautiful wooded Oregon spot with maybe 40 people, some good food, and a pretty dress. I can't afford a giant garden with room for hundreds. Photographers are heinously expensive! I really don't want a planner to tell me I need twelve satin clad bridesmaids. I don't want to spend a down payment for a house on the begginning of our life! I want my mom to stop accosting me about getting married in a place that isn't my home or a church she's forced on me since childhood. I'm not religious but I don't want to stand in front of the JP. Why can't I pledge my life without pledging my first billion paychecks?????
Poor in Portland
Portland, OR Tuesday, August 05, 2003
Ok, ladies take a breath. About halfway through the engagement I realized that planning for the marriage was ultimately more important than planning for the wedding (I actually knew this before he put a ring on my finger, but the reality and stresses of trying to plan a wedding took a front seat for the first couple of months). Sometime during the second month of our engagement, I found this website and read all the selfish comments and I realized I didn't want to see myself here posting or even thinking such things, but here I am. One thing to try to remember: You won't please everyone (not even yourself at times). My fiancee and I are in our mid thirties and hosting our own wedding. Yes, their have been some surprises financial frustrations for us both dealing with the wedding industry, but we openly talk about them and we try to laugh about it when we can. Some parts of the planning he's handled and some parts I've handled, but we're good about consulting one another about the process. My biggest frustration during the whole process has been a nearly absent m.o.h. who announced her engagement a month after ours and was married 2 months after the engagement and has been very little help for me, so I've had to do "girly" things either on my own or with my fiancee (I'm still relatively new in town and my m.o.h., a long time friend, is the only female friend I have in the area). I was hoping that after her wedding (that we drove 7+ hours to a resort town during a major holiday weekend), she'd be a little bit more available to help me a little, as my wedding is just a short time away. Sadly, this is not the case. Her mission is to completely redecorate her new husband's house (he'd been living there for awhile), add all new appliances, etc. even though his job is about to be eliminated in upcoming months. I've tried to excuse her absence because of this news, and perhaps there may be a little jealousy on her part. I don't really know. I just know that she's not been helpful. Anyway, in the grand scheme of things I suppose my complaint is a small one, and I'm a very lucky bride-to-be with a great fiancee who has been there every step not only in planning our wedding, but in being my partner and best friend.
Georgia Bride <email>
GA Tuesday, August 05, 2003
I need to get this off my chest: I just got married 2 months ago and for some reason I can't stand looking at the pictures. I feel like all the other pictures that our guests took of me and my groom were wonderful but the ones that our photographer took suck! He always takes the picture when I am pausing between smiles and I look terrible. He totally sucks! Good thing he is out of state, otherwise I would kick his you know what!!!
Hate photographer
Thursday, July 31, 2003
Well I went on to another website and posted the question from below to see if I was over reacting about the limo. Got crazy responses and no realise how lame it was and how insane brides are. I picture a gaggle of rabid chipmunks hunting down their groom prey.
driving me mad II
Thursday, July 31, 2003
I know it is so stupid but... I got really mad last night. My mom's husband has a friend who owns a limo company. Well instead of offering to book a limo for either my groom or I (we can't afford to rent one), my step dad and his family will be showing up in a limo. I will be arriving in a toyota camry. I don't even know how my groom will get there. Seems a little weird to me. And My mom will be my chaffeur. So my step family shows up in style while the rest of us slink in.
driving me mad
Thursday, July 31, 2003
I have been a huge pain in the a$$ to fiance. I want a certain wedding band and I have to admit to emailing him links and pictures so he doesn't screw this purchase up like he did the engagement ring. Not that I don't like my ering, just that I was pretty hint-full about what style I like and he didn't pay attention.
This is such a small thing in real life, but it's seems to be all I can think of these days.
...forgive us our sins...
Not telling
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Last Sat. was the big day and all the planning, stressing and spending was worth it! I had sooo many people tell me it was the most beautiful wedding ever, strangers stopped my bridesmaids to tell them how great their dresses were, everyone felt sexy! We ate, drank and danced until 3:00 in the morining. I spent 1/2 a years salary and will never look back - it was ALL WORTH IT - every single penny and I wouldn't change a single thing! There was not a time when I thought "why did I do this", it was perfect. Just remember, have fun and do what you want - its your day and anyone who doesn't like it can stay home!
Happy Girl!!!
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
this past summer I was in 2 bridal parties. They were not exactly the best brides, and I felt I was not treated as well as the other girls in the bridal party. I understand that their weddings were not about me (it was their day, not mine) but I was just expecting something more than they gave me- which was nothing but unfair treatment.
Well well well... I just got engaged a few weeks ago, and MY planning has begun. I'm not a bad person, and would never mistreat my bridal party. In fact, after going through these weddings- I have learned what to do, and what not to do. However, I do feel the need to treat those 2 recent brides (who I have worked so hard for) the same way they treated me. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. I will treat them the same way they treated me. Sorry girls, pay back is a bitch.
goose and gander
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Report from the day after:
Yesterday was the big day. The last few months I've been confessing to help keep my sanity. But now I'm happily a Mrs., which is all a bride mainly wants. But the rest of it, and I swear now as a fellow-just-gone-through-it-all bride, is for the memories. Yesterday is a big blur, and it did go fast, but I just relaxed and enjoyed it. I let myself embrace the wedding and let it happen. AND IT's ok to be nervous. People just know you are and it's natural. I found out that now that it is all over, all the tying of favors with almonds, bells to name tags, centerpieces with city symbols for seating....everyone had a fabulous time. What I found that matters is the planning helps make memories that you can look back on for year after year, decade after decade. Was there any problems? Maybe the worst, the wind came up during the ceremony, but it cooled everyone down...but for me it blew the veil in my face constantly. Half way through the ceremony, I took it off and handed it to the Maid of Honor. For finance, I found if you have creative relatives who'd like to help--let them. My aunt made the floral centerpieces probably saving us 500 bucks, for only 75 dollars-cost of flowers. I made the bridesmaids/my jewelry, ordered a light dinner instead of a heavy meal for a July Wedding, and shopped through 35 dresses for a dress. Yes, you wear it for 5-6 hours, but the next morning I was looking at it on the chair saying, oh....my wedding dress. Like I said, it's all for the memories of your moment of being a bride. What do you want to look back on and remember? Ask that question, and use to help get through the stress. Oh yes, I also meditated on the concept-finding my bridal center and strength-to help get through the last few days before the wedding. Don't laugh, it did really help. To all future brides, good luck for planning. DOn't let it take over your life, just be in charge, and remember when you and your family go crazy, it's not them...it's the wedding stress. I assure, everyone returns to normal after the big day.
*Gets off bridal soap box for the last time....sigh*
It's been a rough ride planning, but I'll remember every step. *WINK*
PS: My face doesn't hurt from smiling because I didn't to smile and laugh as well, which I think changed the face shap enough to not hurt. But my feet are killing me.
Callibride <email>
Silicon Valley, CA Sunday, July 27, 2003
I really screwed up at my brother's rehearsal/dinner. An hour before it was to start I took a bunch of percocets and valiums (I had a problem with both at the time, but no longer). I was so out of it I could barely hold myself up at the church and almost fell over countless times. My poor mother was asked a thousand times what was wrong with me. At the dinner I kept nodding off in my plate. When she passed out the gifts everyone opened theirs in seconds, it took me twenty minutes to open mine, I couldn't stay awake long enough to do it. Finally my boyfriend got so mad at me he opened it for me. I blamed everything on a "new medication" my doctor had me on. At the time, I actually thought I had everyone fooled, now I know better. Everyone knew my "secret", I just didn't know they knew. I felt really bad so I decided to not bring any pills to the wedding the next day. I was determined not to let my brother and his new wife down. An hour into the reception I bailed out (I was a bridesmaid) and did not return. I couldn't take being sober any longer. I recently got married and my brothers wife was my matron of honor. I prayed for a long time that she would not find a way to get me back. Everything went great and she was wonderful. All is forgiven.
Wasted
Saturday, July 26, 2003
Okay, so i'm really happy about being engaged to the most wonderful man in the world but right now everyone else is pissing me off! You would think your own mother would be extra excited and helpful but not mine! I already knew a long time ago that she wouldn't be helping me out financially but she could at least come with me to try on dresses! but of course that did't work out because at when we were supposed to go she changed her mind cause "she didn't feel like it" and none of my dumbass hater bridesmaids have helped me at all! everyone sucks! GRRRRRR!
MAD MAMMA!
Friday, July 25, 2003
My confession is that I am a fat bride - and a happy one. I confess that I won't be having a bachelorette, I won't be having a shower, and I won't be having bridesmaids, and I am still happy! I won't even be having a wedding, really, not for a long time; I'm getting married by a JOP, and I'm thrilled! Nobody has advised me to go on a diet, even though I'm REALLY fat, like 240 pounds right now, the same weight as my husband. He tells me I'm beautiful every day. I think the Adkins diet is a recipe for scurvy. I like to LIVE life, and food is a part of life: GOOD food, chocolate cake, roast pork, spinach alfredo, Chicago pizza. HA! I am about to get married, and I am NOT starving myself! I'm having a lot of sex, too. If we get around to having a real wedding-y wedding, I'm gonna have a picture of the two of us right on the front of the invitation - that is, if we both can fit! No fuzz-out filters or glamour shots - too trashy. I don't intend to hide. When I have a picture taken, I want it to be deliberate, I don't want them to drape me in a black blanket and filter me out like they did to that woman in "Heart." What a joke.
What makes me happy is pretty damned simple. It isn't the "wedding," at all. I'm avoiding it because I know that the details of planning such a thing are completely inconveient right now. I just want to get married, and I'm doing it. The reaction of any relatives I might have is completely irrelevant, as I am an adult. It is entirely the responsibility of any adult that might find this to be a problem how they react to this. So far, my mother is trying to nudge her way into this thing, but we both know that it is entirely up to me. That is a freeing thing, really. I don't expect anything from anybody. I confess I am not waiting for anyone to throw me a party, and the lack of a shower does not make me sad or lonely. I confess that I truly and completely do not care for a shower or anything remotely resembling one. and yet....believe it or not, I am extremely happy. Why?
I have good food, a man who worships me, a WHOLE LIFE ahead of me in a wonderful new part of the world (I am moving from Washington state to Quebec), a fresh new start, new possibilities, and a brand-new part of my life opening up - this marriage, I am now realizing, paired with the location change, is a DELIRIOUSLY exciting new start to life! New friends, a brand-new family that already loves me, all new STUFF (used, of course) and the possiblity of naming a child a nice plain name and having her be the ONLY ONE in her class with that name! If I get knocked up, my kid will be "Ann" or something, and she'll be surrounded by Hugettes and Genevieves and Brigites and Thereses and Sylvettes. Cool, uhn?
All this without dieting. How dare I. That's because A: dieting makes me miserable, B. I love to cook and eat, and C: I have no pressing reason to lose weight and
D: I Do what I Want! *snap* I'm a grownup!
Now, how many Hail Marys is that?
Fatty McFatterson <email>
Wenatchee, WA Friday, July 25, 2003
so, not only is my mom still pissed that i'm not getting married in a church, now she's also pissed that my FH and i picked a date without consulting her and my father. mind you, there are NO significant events surrounding it. my father actually said, and i quote, "you're just doing what you want to do. you've always been that way." aren't i ALLOWED/SUPPOSED to do things MY WAY for MY WEDDING!?! keeping in mind that these are the ONLY concrete plans that have been made so far, my mother tells me that she feels like i'm FYI-ing her on all the plans. because i made TWO decisions without asking mommy first! god give me strength!
oh yeah, it's started
Casselberry, FL Friday, July 25, 2003
Dear notwhatIdreamed:
I think you are being way too hard on yourself. Your fiance wants to marry you for a reason. give yourself more credit. Have fun on your bachelorette party and so what if you are a bit heavy, I am sure your fiance loves you anyway. Why don't you go on the adtkins diet, you will drop pounds fast and 2 1/2 months is plenty of time. Your wedding day is supposed to be the best day of your life, enjoy it and embrace it because some people only dream of it. Good Luck and stay positive! Love yourself!
wedding angel
Friday, July 25, 2003
Let me just start by saying I am pretty sure I am clinically depressed. That said, my bachelorette is tomorrow and I don't want to go. 8 girls were invited, 4 are going. Now, mind you I don't have a large circle of friends for a reason. I only have a few close friends, of which half have something better to do. Of the 4 going, 1 is his sister. Also, I'm at my heaviest weight ever and really don't want a lot of attention on me. Oh yeah and my wedding is 2 and 1/2 months away - is it a bit early for the bachelorette? My shower is next saturday, there are only 9 things bought off my registry so far (I check several times a day). Oh and my bridesmaids and mother left off the shower invite one of the places I registered, so no pots, pans, silverware, glasses, breadmachine, coffemaker for me. Why am I spending all this money, time, heartache on 1 day. My fiance and I have lived together for 2 years, own a house a cat a dog - we're already married. He keeps telling me the wedding is going to suck because I'll be so miserable - yeah that makes me feel much better. I am SOOOOO the wrong person to plan a wedding. Control-freak/perfectionist/pessimist with rage issues manifesting itself in crying spurts.
NotwhatIdreamed
Friday, July 25, 2003
I have been completely mean to my finance. Why is it that the bride has to become more efficient in organizing time, make all plans, support his crazy ideas and work full time with a smile on my face. Oh yeah, not to mention that my fiance has lost at least 100 IQ points since we have started planning. Thanks for listening!!!!
going crazy in templeton
Friday, July 25, 2003
I fought with my mother (who has gone shopping with me and listened to daily updates and given me an extremely generous cash gift to help pay for the wedding) over the response cards! Which have already been printed! The response cards... and I only picked up the phone to find out how her kitty cat was doing.
What Came Over Me?
San Diego, CA Thursday, July 24, 2003
I obsessed so much over invitations that I even drove me crazy! I looked at tons of catalogs, internet sites and got tons of samples and ended up getting the one I looked at first and liked. I would have saved countless hours and stress but I wanted to see them all just in case.
Clotilde
Thursday, July 24, 2003
I almost made my Mom, who hates my Dad for justifiable reasons, "celebrate" my wedding-- at my dad's church (formerly known as her church), and at the reception planned for his house (formerly their house). Changed mind when Mom said she would pee in the bushes before entering my new! younger! stepmonster's lair and pee in her former bathroom... end result: got married in France. In a pantsuit.
fruitcake
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
I have to admit to reading everyone's confessions and feeling very smug. My hubby and I got engaged after two weeks together. Four months weeks later we flew to Las Vegas and then flew by helicopter into the Grand Canyon. I wore a gorgeous purple strapless ballgown and he wore a DJ. No-one knew (we told our parents when we got home) and we both agreed it was the most beautiful, romantic and stress-free day we could have imagined.
I don't understand all these women who are willing to waste thousands of pounds/dollars on one day which will undoubtably be one of the most stressful of their lives. Why out yourself through it?
adelinejg <email>
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
OK, she's not that much of a bridezilla, but she did ASK to have a bridal shower thrown for her (despite the fact that her own family is already throwing one). I guess this just falls into the category of "I'm allowed to be as rude as I want to- I'm getting married!!"
Anonymous (in case bridezilla is reading!)
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Girls, weddings are supposed to be fun! You're getting married to a person you love. Focus on that, not your MOH going on vacation (how dare she?).
You can even make this wedding thing into weeks of fun. I'm having a small wedding with just parents one day, a reception in the midwest the next day and a reception on the East Coast the next week. I get to wear my dress 3 times! What could be better? My advice to all of you: think about what you want. If you want a huge wedding and a big dress, go for it. But remember, this is YOUR wedding, not your friends, not your parents, not your sisters. While you're totally focused on the wedding, they have things going on in thier lives too, believe it or not. Respect their time and availability. You'll all be much happier in the end.
Happy bride
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
When I asked my MOH to be a part of my wedding, she was so happy and thrilled. All through the fun stuff, looking at dresses, flowers, etc. She was right there, enjoying it, having fun with me. Then she announced that her and her boyfriend (who is the best man) are going on vacation for a month and a half, 2 months before the wedding. Well, she went, and now everyone is coming to me complaining that she didn't do X, Y & Z for the shower like she promised, and what am I going to do about it? My mom is driving me nuts, apparently she thinks I am psychically linked with this girl and can communicate with her about all these things. I don't know what to do, I know my invites went out, but other than that, I think nothing has been done. Great, all these people invited to a non-existent party. Oh, and she'll be back 4 days before the shower, nothing like throwing something together at the last minute!
GRRR!
deserted bride
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
OK Ladies, as a florist I would like to say... If you think you got troubles just think about some of the HORRORS I have had to deal with..... Bride calls a month before wedding and wants to order flowers. I tell her no problem but we need to schedule an app. ASAP so we can get it right. 2 weeks later she calls then says she has to talk to FH about making app., I give her 4 possible appts for meeting to run by him. Saturday before wedding she comes into shop with FH & bizarre MOH & BM who had WAYYYYYYYY too many tattoos and facial jewelry for 19 YOs. Demands a app. immediately, when I in shock say "Doesn't ANYONE know what an appointment means?" they then pile out into the walkway of my shopping center cussing about me and my service. Luckily I am on a military base and one call to his commander brought me an apology in full dress uniform a week after. While on the phone the day after the scene & before the apology the bride calls and demands flowers for 4 BMs a MOH candelabra's the whole shebang. After I stopped snickering I informed her that I was booked for a Spa Day because of the stress she & her FH had caused me. I have had weddings that were canceled the morning of the wedding to find out that the bride had the groom arrested & he now couldnt make bail. I have seen weddings where the Best Man stepped back behind the "altar," historic building fireplace that separated the hall from the kitchen, where he proceeded to do shots & chase them with beer DURING THE CEREMONY. I have done weddings in bucket trucks of fire companies, seen rehersal halls catch on fire and more. One MOB , read MONSTER of Bride, was so horrid that I finally charged a harassment fee just for dealing with her. On the wedding day in tears she gave me a hug after handing me the final payment, I donated her mean fee to the USO BTW. So if someone calls you a Bridezilla just send em to me and I will let them know how lucky they are to be dealing with you and not some of the ones I have had.
The Petal Pusher <email>
Delaware Monday, July 21, 2003
I decided not to let my brother walk my mother down the aisle because he decided to wear jeans and a cowboy shirt to the wedding even though it was a formal occasion.
Lolita <email>
Salt Lake City, UT Monday, July 21, 2003
My DH was the best man in a wedding 2 years ago and I ended up being the wedding planner/handmaid to all. The "official " wedding planner was paid $5000.00 to plan the wedding and make sure things went off without a hitch. Turns out all she did was carry around a stinking clipboard and collect her fee. Teh bride found the wedding site and the groom's famil handled the rehersal dinner and the reception food all on their own. I (a jet-lagged, lactating guest at the wedding not the wedding planner) did the following, all while carrying a 30 pound kid on my hip... set up the tables in the reception hall, got the groom and best man (my hubby) dressed, got the bride (4 mos preggers) sausaged into her dress- no small feat, dressed the bridesmaids including one who was recovering from a c-section and could not bend over to put on her own pantyhose and did not know how to put on makeup or wield a curling iron to do her hair, got myself and my 8 mo daughter into nice clothes for the ceremony (which I missed most of because the damn planner did not show the caterer or bartender (groom's aunt and cousin) where to set up, and I had to police the roving band of child miscreants that many G&* D*&^% parents/guests decided to let loose at the reception and who nearly destroyed the groom's cake even before it was cut and most of the decorations. Oh, and i slipped the officiant an extra $40 because the planner stiffed him nearly $100.00. So bride's please make sure you are getting your money's worth and please thank the person or people who ACTUALLY did the work at your wedding. We are glad you and your guests had a lovely time but a quick thank you would've been appreciated.
Jennifer Lopez this Planner was not!
Oakland, CA Saturday, July 19, 2003
I am to be a "Groommaid" and by that I am to stand up with the groom (a great friend from High School). I am so pleased and honored that he and his fiancee would like me to share in their great day. My issue is with one of the bridesmaid who told the bride she didn't like the dress- color and style. I thought that was pretty tacky! Its not our wedding! The bride is trying to be helpful and choose an outfit style that will look nice on the skinny- minnies as well as the plus size pretties like myself. She choose separates and they aren't that bad looking. I thought it was inconsiderate of this bridemaid to rank on the outfits to the bride. Shoot, she coulda put us in the outfits I saw in the Cavalcade of Bad Bridal Fashion. And hell when the wedding is over, I'm dying mine black and wearing it out on a night on the town with my hubby. Another thing, if you have kids, and they are not specifially invited to the wedding, leave the wee bairns at home or arrange for a sitter. I have three under age three and they will be living it up in our hotel room with a sitter, some cheesy pizza and a Disney movie while mom is in the wedding and mom and dad bust a move at the reception.
Groomsmaid in Oaktown
Oakland, CA Saturday, July 19, 2003
more than a year ago i moved in with my FI and we've been there every since. a few months ago he went on a "let's buy a house" kick. i insisted we wait until post wedding to save my sanity. of course, he found the perfect house while i was out of town, told me about it on my cell phone while i was stuck in traffic and made a bid (with my reluctive consent) before i was even back in town. now, not only am i juggling a career, but i'm frantically planning a wedding, stuggling to pay just for it, worrying about financing a home, selecting all the materials as it's a new build, planning a move and flat broke as hell trying to scroung up enough for a down payment and a wedding and appliances. i'm in hell. i SAID i didn't want to plan a wedding and buy -- let alone build -- a house. i just want weddings and movings to be done.
grumpy, broke and tired
MI Friday, July 18, 2003
last ight i freaked otu on my fiance because he asked me a little silly question about what we wanted to spend on our honeymoon. I lost it.
brynie
seattle, wa Friday, July 18, 2003
RAWR! Okay, I shouldn't be outing another Bridezilla, but I'm about to FREAK! I am a) not an attendant, b) not a relative, and c) not even really terribly close to the couple. The bride is my fiance's mother. And I made the mistake of volunteering my help for "whatever ya'll need." I was thinking addressing invites or setting up the guest book. Here is a PARTIAL list of the tasks I have, thus far, been assigned: 1) Pass out birdseed. 2) Make sure everyone signs the guest book. 3) Act as usher, as they won't have any at their 150 GUEST, $20,000+ WEDDING. 4) Act as liason between the bride and groom for the 12 g.damn hours between the time they get up that morning and the ceremony. 5) Act as "gopher" for "anything that pops up." 6) Decorate tables at the reception. 6) Keep guest in the "pre-reception" area until the bride and groom arrive and the bride APPROVES the reception area. 7) Make sure all deliveries from florists, baker, etcetera are on time, as ordered, and correctly placed. 8) WEAR A VICTORIAN STYLE DRESS, AS THIS IS A THEME WEDDING. Heh, oh, and I also get to address envelopes and lick stamps. WHEEEEEEE!!! So now I can either refuse and start the war now, or I can do it, screw something up (which I feel is practically inevitable), and start the war at the wedding. GAH. I can't wait for my boy's sister to get married, simply because I doubt she'll ask me for ANYTHING (except a gift), no matter how much I offer.
Lying in the Bed I Made
Thursday, July 17, 2003
I actually cried about my decorations in a Wendy's restaurant. Full on sobing. Because I am not sure what decorations I will use. Shoot me now.
30 days till I return to normal.
help me
Rochester, NY Thursday, July 17, 2003
Well I got married last weekend and instead of bliss I'm still really angry at my mother for ruining my wedding day. When my FI and I were planning the wedding we decided to have only family members attend. My parents offered the use of their house for the reception and my mother offered to sew the dresses (she is usually a very talented seamstress). Well because my parents were helping, my mother decided to invite 30 of her neighbors. I told her the neighbors were not invited due to the fact that the guest list would double and also because they were not helping out finacially. This started a huge family fued, so I gave in reluctantly and said the neighbors could come. It only gets worse from here. Three days before the ceremony, my mother decides she doesn't like my dress and the bridemaids dresses, so she throws them away!!! Then she goes out and buys really cheap and ugly fabric (not even the same color) and preceeds to throw together three dresses. They weren't even done on the wedding day! Thay had to be safety pinned together and they hung crooked! Not only that, the day before the wedding I asked my mom if I needed to buy a garter (she was supposed to make one for me)and she said no, I could wear hers. That way I would have something old and blue to wear. Well, the morning of she decides she doesn't feel like looking for it and she can't remember if she had even kept it after all these years. So I didn't have a garter to wear. Plus because this was a small do-it-yourself kind of wedding anyway, my family and I palnned to make the food and flower arrangements, bouquets, etc. ourselves. My family sucks! I ended up having to make the entire rehearsal dinner (while the rest of the fam had 2 hours to get ready)and here I was the bride, covered in food and all sweaty from having to cook a huge meal without help! Also the night before the ceremony I got no sleep because I had to stay up and prepare all of the food for the reception by myself!!! I don't expect to be waited on hand and foot but neither my parents nor my four siblings were willing to help me! I had a total of 1 hour of sleep in three days! Oh yeah and the neighbors had offered the use of their trucks to get the rentals and take the to the ceremony. They decided it was too much of a hassle to help, so we ended up having to drive our individual cars to pick up the chairs and take them to the site! I had to drive myself to my own freakin wedding! I was so exhausted by the final day that I don't even remember the ceremony, and the reception is kind of hazy. I'm angry because I thought I deserved better, and because I didn't get to enjoy my day to the fullest extent. I am seriously considering limiting contact with my mother to holidays only. So girls-- If our mom is some-what controlling and/or crazy, don't let her help!
may <email>
Austin , TX Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Had huge fight with Best man!! he is taking my man to see dirty strippers and i can't take it.
now we are not talking.
t girl
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
My SISTER just informed me that she won't be coming to my wedding. She and her FI make really good money but somehow can't manage the $500 in plane tickes and $100 hotel room. My SISTER!
It's my only wedding
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
I've been pretty laid back about the whole wedding thing. Didn't want bridesmaids, didn't plan on having them. Am now being forced to incorporate them in my ceremony because the FH's sister is dead-set on being in the wedding. We discussed ignoring her wishes and informing her that it wasn't for her to decide but the entire family is terrified of her legendary grudges and has asked me to comply with her wishes. Now I'm working too recreate what used to be a simple ceremony to incorporate all of our siblings. This would be all right is she were doing any of the things that bridesmaids or other members of the wedding party traditionally do. But she hasn't even discussed a shower, a tea, has not even asked how things are going. I've secretly been planning to put my 2 best friends into beautiful dresses and have them do readings at the wedding--they've been helping all along. Then when the SIL asks about her dress (probably a week before the wedding) I'm going to point to some hideous number that costs buckets of money and say it was the only thing left for her to wear and hope that she'll back out.
hate the SIL to be
Mad-City, WI Tuesday, July 15, 2003
We took our caterer to small claims court to get our deposit back!! (and we're going to win!) Never signed a contract. They are so stupid. We had to go with someone else because the reception hall was being sold and they want to keep our $500 with six months notice we weren't going to go with them. You too can get that deposit back!!!
t girl
Saturday, July 12, 2003
I confess to being internally bitter at the people who took absolutely no interest when I finished graduate school and scored a great post-grad fellowship, only to come out of the woodwork with tons of sugary congratulations when my sweetie and I decided to get married. Um, getting married is just kind of a nice thing that happens. I worked my ass off in school, I was broke and hungry and no one asked after me then. I'd almost rather you just left me alone now, honestly. Sorry for being so inwardly ungracious. Hope you can't tell.
Lama
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Burned Bridesmaid. Invited to be bridesmaid by newish friend/work colleague. Confession: Should have said no. Said yes instead. I was the picture of polite deference during my tenure as bridesmaid, however, the bride for no apparent reason will not even speak to me (and apparently doesn't speak to a few of the others either).
1. Dress time. Ultra revealing dress ($300) looked like nightgown. Slick brown fabric left my 34DD breasts looking vulgarly exposed and huge. Bra to be sewn into dress $65, girdle $20, shoes $54. Not looking forward to work colleagues seeing me exposed.
2. Bridal Shower. Bride wanted personal shower. I shelled out $50 for nightgown which she reported she wore before the wedding 'to study in'. I gave MOA $15 to help with shower costs.
3. Headlights. When bride addressed about the dress modesty/cold issue, bride bought shawls and instructed us that we could only wear the shawl hanging (ala Stevie Nicks) from our wrists, which neither warmed or covered us.
4. Bachelorette Party and Boot Camp. Bride announced that at reception we were expected to perform a kind of African dance (with African musicians shipped in for the occasion) in this dress in which we jumped up and down. To boot, we were required to participate in a 'girls' day in which we had to attend African dance class. The ultra- white non-African bride became furious when I did not attend training session and explained my discomfort at dancing wildly at wedding while my chest was barely concealed. At no point did bride reveal I would have to participate in this dance when I agreed to be bridesmaid. Bride claimed we were unsupportive of her choices and 'betraying' her.
Same night as day dance bootcamp we were required to attend bachelorette party. I spent $35 for myself and gave the MOA $35 to cover bride. I had no more money (!) so after saying my polite goodbyes, I went home while the rest of the gals bar-hopped. Bride was furious when I left. When I explained in phone message that I was so sorry but that I was running out of money, her attitude did not improve.
5. Rehearsal dinner-Next day. We were required to attend a weekday swimming party/clam bake where again we would be half-naked in front of her family/friends. I declined and claimed work responsibilities. Bride and Groom did not show up for rehearsal so I waited 2 hours in the August heat in the church. Same evening we had to attend the rehearsal dinner which was 6 hours long. Home at midnight.
6. Day of wedding. 93 degrees and humid. I woke up at 6am vomiting and vomited until 7:30am when I went to drug store and got OTC medication recommended by pharmacist. Barely able to make it to hairdresser and afraid of vomiting in front of everyone.
Arrived at hair dresser 8:30am at the same time as the bride who would not speak to me despite the fact I had not done or said anything impolite during my entire time as bridesmaid. MOB was hardly any better.
7. Reporting for Duty. 10am we report to hotel with dresses in hand. We are at her hotel room all day without food (a few fruit slices and bottled water were in the room). I'm still sick but drinking lots of water. Bride nasty and inexplicably will not permit her personal items from hotel room to be transported in limo. I have to call my boyfriend to come pickup her stuff and take it in his car to deliver to hotel even though there is plenty of room in the limo. Other girls very vain, take up all the mirror space and when I finally get into the bathroom to use the mirror one of the bridesmaids insists on coming in and urinating while I am putting on my mascara. I leave the room. We leave the hotel room to get into limo and I am still sick and afraid of vomiting but putting on a good face. Wedding happens, ride to outdoor site for photos, reception an absolute joke, had to be led into the reception pagent style with the DJ announcing our /escort's names, old ladies cornered me in bathroom to ask if any of the bridesmaids were wearing underpants.
Midnight. We are tired but Bride will not let us go home.
Later that month she says that she is surprised that she did not get my gift and that at 'least two dozen' guests have yet to forward her their gift (she would not let people bring gifts to wedding, we had to mail them).
Cost of wedding gift $30.
Total cost of participation $614 plus one friendship. (She will not speak to me when she sees me at work.)
Zoid
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
I am getting married in about 3 months one of my b maids is getting married 3 weeks after me. she was engaged before me but kept changing her wedding date way back when i was engaged the first thing I did was set my date 6 months after hers so it would not be to close. What does the brat do she changes her wedding plans and insead of going away to get married she wants to be married here so she sets the date 3 weeks after me 3 weeks! I am her maid of honor and 2 girls in my wedding are also in hers. She has passed so many comments like who am I to get married before her. What! i had my wedding date first she changed hers several times. We agreed the bridal party should not buy us shower gifts the expense of everything has really taken a toll on them and myself also that was all fine and good well now she wants to get me a gift for my shower so everyone will get her one. I have been trying to stay calm about this whole thing but I think she is so rude for getting married 3 weeks after me I think she has some nerve and I am pissed especally since all she talks about is her wedding and she is trying to drown out my day! Good I feel so much better now!!!!!!
going crazy
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
I have to send my inviations out next weekend and I HATE my fiance right now. He is being a big poo head.
Volvogirl
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
My fiance and I have been engaged for 2 months. We're both 21. He's just begun military training, so he's 4 states away, and I still live with my parents, who we finally told the good news to last night. It went much better than we'd expected. when we first began dating, there was a lot of tension between my parents and myself and my fiance about where his life was going. The military took care of that. They were VERY happy for us. The only thing that irked me was that they're very religious (my fiance and I aren't) and are insisting on a church wedding, even though I've found the sweetest garden setting I've ever seen and will NOT back away from it. I just hope that this will be the only thing we're going to clash on. Who am I kidding, wedding planning just breeds confrontation, doesn't it? Oh well, I'm so excited that we're getting married, I say, bring it on!
now we begin
Casselberry, FL Thursday, July 03, 2003
OK so when setting a date last year, we were concerned about guest convenience, beautiful weather, and not setting a date too close to my brother's wedding--a six month gap, and I gladly kept my mouth shut so that he and SIL could enjoy the spotlight, knowing my time would come soonafter. We discussed this date tentatively 1.5 years ago to see if it would work and, made it official 1.1 years in advance. All family and friends on both sides were fine with this.
ILs offered to pay for rehearsal dinner, which as grad students, is help we gladly accepted. We've worked hard and are doing our best to be fiscally and socially responsible. We've busted our butts to put together a celebration of our marriage that is our style, and the majority of the expense is towards our guests. We wanted to do something nice for our closest friends and family who came to celebrate with us, since we appreciate all their help and support.
Just when my brother gets married, FI's 22 y/o, college-dropout sis who hasn't ever had to pay for rent or write her own resume gets knocked up and sets a date one month ahead of ours.
OK I wouldn't want to trade places with her, she's a good sis and I like her and want to be there for her, and I know she's not the type to deliberately steal our thunder. I know our own hard work should pay off eventually. But on top of all of our planning, school and budget/income stress, its VERY frustrating to hear his family complain about TWO weddings in one year and take it out on FI and I. Everyone is rushing to her aid and ignoring us. Some family who said they likely couldn't make to ours are RSVPing well in advance for hers. We're getting a guilt trip for not modifying the rehearsal dinner we planned well in advance of this latest development according to the budget guidelines we were given a year ago (it would cost more than its worth to modify than to keep as is), since the "excess would look bad in light of SIL's less-extravagent position". No one else seems to acknowledge the discrepancies of this whole situation; then again, its sorta difficult to express without sounding like a jealous heel, so here's my confession booth roar:
Why should OUR plans be penalized? We're not the irresponsible ones! We're not the ones with sob stories that convienently ignore the bad choices that were made. ARGH!
Don't want to stoop to squeaky wheel!
Thursday, July 03, 2003
I think I have figured it out. Aside from those women who really have been planning their wedding since they were 3, a lot of us have not. Sure, I always figured I would have a pretty dress, but that's about where my planning stopped at the ripe age of 3. So now that it is upon me, I have figured out why so many brides turn psycho....because of other people. I have lost count of how many questions I have answered with "I don't know" or "that doesn't really matter to me". It doesn't mean that I don't care how my wedding will be...frankly, I am just not concerned with how many tiers my cake will have, or what color shoes my bridesmaids will wear. I hate the concept of bridal showers and bachelorette parties because I hate the "tradition" of MUST BUY PRESENT that goes along with them. I would rather not invite my parents' or grandparents' friends that I don't even know...I don't care if those people give the best presents. It's not about presents. It's not about party favors. It's not about shoe color. It's about me and my fiance. So there. :)
kickback bride
Monday, June 30, 2003
Although I did enjoy my wedding, I did have to deal with my family almost taking control of the planning. I wanted a small wedding of 50 people, and got a huge wedding of 150. Ideally, we were just wanted an intimate ceremony and have a picnic afterwards. When my family found out that it was going to be uber casual, they brought it themselves to plan certain things for my wedding...like getting a reception hall, getting the event to be catered, and hiring a photographer!?!. OK, we did tell everyone that we didn't want a formal, big wedding. Honestly, we were just going to get married than have a small BBQ and party. Yeah, everyone was fine with that, until my mother started inviting people I haven't seen in ten years. Our casual wedding plans was scrapped, morphing into a semi-formal monstrosity it became. Thank god we only had six months to plan everything, otherwise it would have been even bigger. Two months prior to the event, Mom decided to tell me that I would be having brides maids (thanks...When were you going to spring that on me? The night before?!?). Soon I had to worry about getting dresses and finding some groomsmen. At the time I didn't mind the intrusion because, frankly FH and I were poor and I never planned a wedding in my life. However, to our credit, we did take control of some of the things that meant the most to us: the vows, the wedding locale, and (for me) the dress. We were able to add some fringe elements into our ceremony (our friend officiated, not playing the macarena at the reception) that made our wedding felt like that it was our day, while giving them some of the traditional elements that they felt the need to implement. In the end, we did manage to alienate some people, but our friends told us afterwards that it was different and that they had fun.
What I learned from the experience and what I want to share with you all is the following: a)I will never plan a wedding ceremony again. If I ever remarry (which I will never ever do!) I'm eloping to Vegas. And I highly encourage people to do that! But if you do have to plan a ceremony of any kind, than...b)Stick to your plans despite what others might do or say. Afterall, this is your day. If you want to wear red to your wedding day, then f*&;k yes do it! c) Yes, weddings are about you, but really its just an excuse for everyone else to party. d) don't trip on the details...crap happens, people let you down, but despite that everything works out in the end.
ginatrout
Oakland, CA Sunday, June 29, 2003
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