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I'm getting married in a month. Maybe two: I don't really know. I don't have a dress to wear. I don't have colors picked out. I don't have a definition of what it's supposed to mean to be a bride, and I don't have a definition of what it's supposed to mean to be a wife.
I hate the word "wife."
I like the word "husband," though. I think I will ask to be called that. Besides; look up the origins of the words and you will understand what I mean.
I. Just. Don't. Care. I really want to marry my sweetheart, mostly because I have to in order to be with him in Canada. I have no other option as far as immigration goes. That's why I', letting the government(s) stick its/their nose(s) up my Big Fat Butt Bow.
But, jeepers, nobody will let me be indifferent in peace, fer corn sakes. Not my mother, not my mother-in-law, etc etc. I also have to contend with people's "well-meaning" advice that a wedding isn't for the couple, it's for the family. Getting married certainly has absolutely *nothing* to do with us - they are right. It has to do with a more convenient way to run a census and count GNP numbers and make entries in family trees and reassure my parents psychologically that they have fulfulled their evolutionary promises. It also lets me off the "when are you getting married?" hook. The "we have questions about your sexuality but would rather eat this Thanksgiving dinner in a thick tension, thank you very much."
See, I *know* I don't have any role to fill. I know I don't have to do what I am *supposed* to do. I know I don't have to begin wearing denim jumpers with embroidered apples on them or pretend I am a virgin on my "wedding night" or even have a "wedding night" or have to make it mean something that we said an incantation in front of a person who took their civil service exam and got a "C." Everyone says, "You have to make it mean something," but they don't even know what their something is. They just say "something" and they go through life happily and miserably worshipping the "something" god.
So I will make it meaningful later, long after the incantation is said, in a ritual that the government and the church don't get to be involved in. It's going to mean, to me and to him, that we are going to be twice as cool, twice as weird, twice as financially able, and twice as old, eventually. And we will be really good company to each other, and try not to suck the "souls" out of each other, and if we do, we have to recognize it and stop it. And that's what my something is. And it has nothing to do with the chicken dance.
I just... every day I feel more alienated because I am compelled to look at lace and ribbons and watch "A Wedding Story" and I wonder what's wrong with me? I have no desire for a large display of reproductive prowess in the form of upturned blossoms, ready for that glorious tickle of pollinating bee leg. I don't need girls dressed like me to ward off evil spirits and maurauding Vikings. My father can't give me to anybody becuase there is no taking nor giving, and my veil has long been lifted. And if I have to hear Pachelbel's Cannon just ONE MORE TIME...see, I was a violin player, and I played at a lot of weddings. It's the most tedious thing EVER for a musician to play. I don't drink, I don't go to church, and I hate restrictive underwear.
O, but there WILL be a ceremony. And I have finally decided. It will be for me and for him, because we need it. And it won't be like anything anyone has been to.
But my fear is I won't be able to cut it and I'll end up buying those stupid bags of Jordan almonds and little bubble blowers. Stupid. I'm going to wear pants, I think. Maybe chinese pajamas. Maybe I'll paint myself blue and go naked. Maybe I'll wear a ratty bathrobe. Or a gorilla costume. And I'll make him the star.
Hellbound Alleee <email>
Montreal, QC Friday, June 27, 2003
Had to add something since I've been noticing comments of people involved with brides...Only been planning since Jan. Yes, a short engagement helps with the stress. But it's more than that....right now I'm trying to redefine my self-identity as a wife. I've been an independant woman for awhile, own my own condo, and am over 30. THere is not really any positive bride concepts out there, esp. for being a wife unless you count Mrs. Clever. The only thing is a bride picture where you're suppose to be beautiful, perfect like a model, and it's only suppose to happen once. That's a horrible order that is implanted in most American girl's minds since when we were a child. That's a H*ll of a lot of cultural baggage being associated with being a bride, to add to the fact your role in life changes, you may be a mother soon, and that's enough to make people a little crazy. Add the other emotions of family and friends(a bridesmaid that is single is saying she is going through a lot since I'm getting married and dating like a mad woman. I myself felt the period and exclaimation mark of being without someone when my sister got married and I was a bridesmaid...)...you've got a recipe for a brideszella. GIve the brides a break. YOu'd want people to give you one too.
Friday, June 27, 2003
Only 4 more weeks to go. Now, among all the things, my biggest beef seems to be the fact that everyone decided to get married when I did. Thus, my fiancees work group and the group that I was hanging with(and how I met him) have 5 weddings within a 2 month period. IT's gotten to the point where maybe half the people are going to mine, only one person is showing to go to my Bachelorette party. At least 5 showed up to go to my Bridal Shower. At least the rest of my family and friends, this is the only wedding for them. But we only got invited to one wedding, which is my close friends and this weekend..June 29. So I'm helping out a lot. Unfortunately, she is going on her honeymoon during my Bachelorette Party. I went to Vegas for hers and so did everyone else. So all are broke. But they all went on this other girls Bachelorette party last weekend. I've got a few friends telling me, get over it. But it's hard when you've been there for others, blew 200 hundred bucks on strippers and drinks, and no one plans to go to your party. IT hurts really. I guess my real friends will be with me for my own.
This whole wedding process really shows how you rate with people-friend versus acquaintance.
PS: We do have 92 people coming when we sent out about 110 invited total. I am thankful for that.
Friday, June 27, 2003
I have less than 3 months to go and have gotten the name bridezilla from my friends and family. But nobody ever stops and wonders why I am a bridezilla. Where do I begin...Well it all started after I became engaged a year and a half ago, we had asked some people to be in our wedding party. Believe it or not, our wedding party has changed 3 times! 1 of our ex groomsman, his wife is friends with my fiance' ex girlfriend, got upset that he is not marrying her and they decided to stop talking to us completly. Plus, I had one girl who said yes to being in the wedding and then made all these excuses of why she hasn't gotten fitted for her dress, I finally had to ask her outright if she didn't want to be in the wedding and she said yes, that she couldn't afford to be in it. I wasn't mad at the fact that she couldn't, but I wish she would have said no when I first asked her. The biggest thing of all was that my wedding gown came in January, and to my horror...it wasn't the gown that I picked out! Well I went totally bridezilla on them, but who could blame me..any bride in my shoes would have been the same! And to make matters worse, they tried to talk me into taking the dress! Needless to say they finally got the right gown in and the bridezilla beast has been somewhat soothed for the time being. But than I had more things happen. My flower girls mother did not want to pay for a dress and wanted to ask someone to make one for the flower girl to wear. I was okay with this and understood about money problems, except these dresses were so ugly. So I offered to pay for the dress myself. The dress I picked out was so cute and pretty and everyone who has seen a picture of it, agrees with me. The flower girls mom had the nerve to bad mouth it! She has said several times that it was ugly. Then my flower girl got asked to be in another wedding a few weeks after mine, and the mother is acting like she loves the dress now and wants her to wear the dress in this wedding. I have also had some of my girls make demands on me...who are you to tell me what you are going to and not going to do, this is my wedding! I am talking about trying to change the wedding color, demanding types of shoes they wear (by the way 2 of them want one kind, and 2 of them want the other) and what their title should be in the wedding. And one of my girls just got married, I was her maid of honor during my engaged period, which means I was not only planning my wedding but also helping her plan hers. Having to throw her bridal shower was pure hell for me, the mothers hated each other and they both were the most unorganized people, you ever wanted to meet. I had to beg them over and over again for a guest list and because of that, the invites went out right before the shower. I love my friend, but being a bride and a maid of honor at the same time..talk about stress! So to my mom, my sister and my friends who like to tease me and call me bridezilla. Yes I am, and now you and the world will know why.
Yes I have turned into Bridezilla!
Baltimore, Md Thursday, June 26, 2003
It irritates the piss out of me when stupid, teenage brides bring their fiances with them to the bridal store while they look for a gown!!!! I mean what is this...a wedding or a prom? I swear, no one under the age of 21 should be allowed to marry...they just don't get it, they think it's one huge "Sweet 16" party!!!
Bride who is SICK of teenage brides!
Thursday, June 26, 2003
I confess. I manipulated both sides of the family, in order to have the wedding I wanted. It worked great!
The dilemma we faced was the disparity between our families. Beloved's parents have a bit of money, and are an old New England family. My parents are country folk from the South. His parents are very nice, but MINE are snobs. I was concerned that they would go deeply into debt trying to make a wedding to impress his family.
So, we told everyone that we were going to just have a private civil ceremony, and then a party a few days later at our house. "Oh, a barbeque or something." And we would do all the arrangements, and pay for everything.
Then both sides of the family started wanting more. I pretended to give in, "I suppose you are right, some announcements would be nice." "Okay, Mom, I'll get a nice dress to wear." "You know, Aunt Jane, you're right, it would be nicer to have the pary in a pretty park." and so on. Every "concession" we made was really something we wanted to do anyway.
Then, our last surprise for everyone: The Judge was not availble the day we wanted, and would actually be coming to the park and marrying us on the day everyone would be there.
Everyone was so thrilled to actually have a wedding to attend, they didn't complain about it being less formal than they wanted. It worked great, and everyone felt we had given in to their special demand.
I hope they never figure it out!
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Okay, last night my love and I were discussing wedding colors. "Lavender?" I suggest. "That'd be cool ... with *navy blue*." I'm sorry, but navy blue is NOT a color. After spending an hour trying to convince him of that, we made a deal; whatever I say goes, as long as I promise not to ask him to do ANYTHING. And I say, "Great!" Less elements to control. *Sigh* Only twenty-one months to go ...
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
I'm going crazy, and we've only been engaged for 2 months. I finally talked to my dad about $$$, and it looks like he's going to help us, but he still won't tell me how much he can help us with, so I'm stuck unable to really plan anything. We're getting married next March, so I've got like 8 months or so to plan, which means I have plenty of time... But time moves quickly just when you want it to slow down, and I don't want to be killing myself trying to get things planned and finished at the last minute!! Please give me the strength to not go apesh*t on everyone...
My FH is totally tired of hearing about wedding stuff, too, and here I am thinking "This is just the beginning, babe ... you ain't seen nothin' yet!" He thinks it's just going to *poof* happen, what a great party! Just wait until I start giving him stuff to do, mwahahaha....
No, really, he's been supportive, and my main focus is to remember that it's just one day, and what I'm really looking forward to is being married. As soon as I finish banging my head against the wall...
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
We had the huge wedding (380 people) and had no problems. The things that saved me: right from the start I decided that if we (me & FH) were not having fun with the event I would cancel it - end of story. I did it all in 4 months so it didn't monopolize my life for too long. My FH and I decided at the start what were the important things for us that day, would not budge on them and let the parents/family mess around with the things we didnt really care about. Plan on the weekdays, dont waste your weekends planning 1 day. Paid for the bridesmaid dresses (I had to be more responsible with my choice), paid for the hair and make-up as my gift to them (people who are not broke have more fun and buy better gifts for you). Didnt pay too much attention to details, if you dont know about them, you wont know when they are wrong. Lots of food, alcohol and friends on the big day. Never expected anything to be perfect, the two of us are anything but. Had a great time and didnt lose any friends or sanity. Remember, the event is the most important thing, not you! I will never regret having the huge at home wedding, it was the best time ever and our memories of the day are perfect.
Tuesday, June 24, 2003
I'm not even engaged yet, but I broke down in tears when I found out that my boyfriend's cousin will be having her wedding this August in the same unique location that we had picked out for our 2006 wedding. I know that tons of people get married there every year anyway, but I can't stand the fact that she will be married there and take the unique and specialness out of it. At least I can take solace in the fact that her reception will be at the VFW!
Not even engaged yet!
Monday, June 23, 2003
2 1/2 weeks ago, a bridezilla who was supposedly one of my closest friends told me that I was no longer her MOH because her mom insisted that she make her sister a MOH, I said "okay, whatever is least stressful for you." I've excused some poor behavior from her in the past few months, chalking it all up to her prenuptual jitters. She lives in CA and I'm in the East coast, so I went to visit her after her engagement. I complimented her ugly ring, ugly apt., etc. etc. because that's what friends do. I witnessed her berating her boyfriend for 3 hours, highly embarrassed but with no place to go. And she calls him "Mr. Confident!!!" When I offered to host the bridal shower she said "don't worry about it, another friend has already offered." I never got an invitation to the shower, and then she complained afterwards that the 'friend' who hosted it made her pay for everything. Turns out she invited all of her coworkers, who are NOT invited to the wedding!!! Tacky. So I'm seeing her turn into a monster, yet I'm cow-towing to all her demands because "it's her special day". She demanded that I buy a ticket way in advance, dictated exactly what day I should arrive (like I have no life), where I was staying, etc. Then, after returning from business travel, I realized that my bridesmaid dress had not arrived. I called to ask her what happened, and she became an absolute demon from hell. "I didn't send you the dress because after our last conversation, I wasn't sure you wanted to be in my wedding." What!?! I reassured her that I wanted to be in her wedding, even though I was demoted to bridesmaid. She continued to say things like "Are you sure you're not jealous because I'm getting married and you're not?" and "Why did you say that it sounds like my house must be beautiful, are you jealous?" and "Why did you tell me that you haven't been able to find a confident guy yet, is it because you're jealous?" OH MY GOD!!!!! She kept on and I lost my temper. I raised my voice and told her that I was happy for her and that she was going to have to take me at my word. She said she'd have to think about it and call me back. Well, this had turned into abuse. I had bought a special gift for each room of her house, booked a day at the spa for us before the wedding (at her command!!), paid for the ticket, a dress I'd never wear again, put up with hours of listening to her complain about her sister being jealous, her fiance's ex being jealous, her other friends being jealous, her co-workers being jealous. And now this. I was on the verge of backing out, but I figured that if she called to apologize, I'd let it all go. Well, she called, and not only did she not apologize, but she told me that I was never able to share any of the happy moments of her life, and that I was jealous of her other friendships (of which she has none now! her other bridesmaid are her sister, who she can't stand, and her cousin, who she barely knows) etc. etc. She said "therefore, you are no longer invited to my wedding." I sat there, unwilling to believe that I had just taken such abuse over the phone from this friend of 10 years. She is no longer a friend. I called her a F**king B**ch before hanging up. Now I know - I will never again cow-tow to another demanding bride. Women show their true bitchy colors before weddings, and my advice to any bridesmaid is to back out before she completely walks all over you. I am now emotionally and financially broke because of this bitch. Thank God I have other friends who laughed when I told them the story and said "good riddence to her - sounds like she's got major problems!" By the way, Diane, our mutual friends - the ones who are no longer speaking with you - have been telling me for years that you are a jealous bitch who always needs to be the center of attention. I gave you the benefit of the doubt for too long. Good riddence!!!
Another Bridezilla Victim
Monday, June 23, 2003
I don't know where to start, but now my fiance wants to invite to our wedding afew buddies of his from his childhood that he hasn't seen in over 3 years. I've only met them once, and their appearance sux. I am so afraid they are going to ruin our wedding. I spoke with him nicely, and was very patient when I told him that I don't want to invite them, but he is insistant. The wedding is about a month away, and he is being very rude. Yelling and screaming, and it makes me sick. I don't know what to do anymore. But, all I know is theirs no compromising going on here. I am sure they will ruin our wedding. I mean come on, this has cost over 40 thousand dollars, and if they weren't on the guest list from the beginning why should we invite them now? It's obvious that they weren't priority!!
Monday, June 23, 2003
My best friend is getting married, and since the day the ring was put on her finger, she forgot that she is not the center of the universe!
This bride has done everything from telling people flat out that this is her day and her guests will wear what she wants them to etc etc. She has also ordered her MOH and the best men's gift and told us after the fact what the gift was and that we were expected to shell out $300 each for the gift.
It doesn't sound like much here, but from the get go (she has been engaged 1.5 yrs now, the wedding this summer) she has easily spent everyone else's money, including her fiance's. I've had enough!
A wedding is supposed to be a time when best friends grow closer...and i feel we have grown apart. Nothing I do is good enough, and the amount of attitude and rude behaviour she has bestowed is incredible!
My advice, think twice about accepting a MOH position. Some brides turn into literal Bridezillas.
Frustrated Maid of Honour
Monday, June 23, 2003
I told my grandfather and my father to grow up and act their ages, not my son's! Now neither one of them are speaking to me. I guess at least now instead of arguing and being angry with each other, they're united in thier pissy-ness with me.
Leah Cupps <email>
Port Orchard, WA Monday, June 23, 2003
I refused to have my only nephew in my bridal party as a) I didn't want any children in the bridal party. and b)I was having my reception in an area that was not child friendly...think water, dark and adults drinking and eating at a stand up reception. The parents of my nephew asked everyone they could think of to try and get us to change our minds, including my father and then had the cheek to yell at us when we accused them of doing this.( the fact the parents of my nephew decided to seperate the week of our wedding and then have a sms fight in the church before I arrived also really pissed me off as well)
wicked witch of an aunt
Saturday, June 21, 2003
My fiancee and I originally planned for a December wedding...lots of planning time! Then he got a new job and the wedding was moved to the July BEFORE!!! I've completely went into control freak mode...Here are some examples: 1)I totally worry that his groomsmen are not as pretty as my bridesmaids (and i'm usually not superficial, I swear, I mean, I'm no prize winning heifer!), 2)there's nothing on the altar to balance the side the unity candles will sit on and the pictures will look off center 3)I want to ask the reception site to set up a table that will look just like the one at my reception to make sure it won't be ugly (haven't done it just yet...holding back the urge) 4)I've given my mother and aunts ideas to make my bridal shower fun and classy, 5)I asked my fiancee for color ideas and rejected his opinion because it was "not the right answer", and 6)I've invited around 175 guests of which many are "backup" so the church won't be empty in case people can't make the Friday night ceremony
HELP ME...THE BRIDEZILLA INSIDE HAS TAKEN OVER...My fiancee asked me when he could have his precious sweet woman back...My answer...The day after the wedding! :) Good luck, sister bridezillas!!
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
Oops ... the wedding is March *005*. I bet it makes more sense now. :)
Denton, TX Wednesday, June 18, 2003
1) I wish *so* bad that I could only invite my side of the family, because his is crazy and huge and not inviting all 120 of the distant relations will cause a scandal.
2) I spend at least three hours a day focused FULLY on planning the nuptiuals ... and the wedding isn't until March ... *2003*.
3) We are going to be involved in three weddings at LEAST before ours (his sister, his mother, and a friend of his), and I am torn between not giving away ANY of my ideas in case they get stolen and being REALLY ANGRY if anyone else uses one of my ideas before me ("THEY'RE STEALING MY THOUGHTS!!!"). Somuchso that I encourage tacky ideas in order to preserve my good ones.
4) He's been asked to officiate a wedding next October, and I *fume* when I think about it, because a) these people got together six months AFTER us and are getting married six months BEFORE us, and b) I hatehatehate the bride with a flaming passion. It's getting hard not to beg him NOT to officiate.
Does this qualify me as a wretch?
Denton, TX Wednesday, June 18, 2003
i have been a pain in the ass to all my vendors. i called my reception hall to make sure they had all the right hour d'ourves. the women sounded anoyed, but now i feel justified. i ordered my dress nine months before my wedding. i called this week to see how soon it would be in and low and behold it was there. they were going to wait until september or so to call me for fittings. it's the wrong color! it's supposed to be white with platinum leaves embroidered the thread is white! so i cried and now they have to order another one. and with any luck it will be in before my november wedding if not i will not pay full price for the wrong dress.
bicky mc bitchster
bridal hell, ma Wednesday, June 18, 2003
For my second wedding (my first is a mercifully fading memory) my FH and I kept it almost all "in-house" - we were married by his brother, attended only by one close friend each, who did NOT have to wear anything special, had friends/family who came from interstate and overseas who then decorated the reception hall for us, picked roses for petals to throw, took all the photos (no professional photograher) you get the idea. we married in our own garden at home, spoke our own vows, walked with our guests to the reception,and the only outside help was the cake (beautiful, organised by my FH) and the food at the reception (organised 2 weeks before wedding by me, from our favourite restaurant). we have a beautiful album of happy snaps, a great memory we still talk about, and we had a wedding that was the envy of everyone because it was so real, low-key, joyous, spontaneous etc. cost us a minute amount compared to what a 'traditional' white-and-all-the-trappings would have and no gripes from anyone! Folks, your day is just that - for BOTH OF YOU. do it your way.
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
I got engaged in December and my fiances brother got engaged in May. They are getting maried before us, she never even asked us when we were thinking of getting married. So I am wishing the worst for their wedding. I am even thinking of maybe accidentally spilling grape juice on her dress!
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
OK. I am not in the wedding.THAT IS OK... NO REALLY!?!?! I dont like to stand in front of people or walk down an aisle. I am not and ugly person and I dont break cameras when I smile, but its just not my thing. I made that clear before she asked. I said I will be there for anything that you need. I will be a shoulder, an ear, a helping hand, or whatever you need.
I am helping her plan because the MOH is out of state. But, the most important thing is that the bride is HAPPY! It is her day; she should have whatever she wants. And I want to help make that happen.
The problem is that she knows what she wants, but then listens to what everyone else wants (or suggests). Plus she is competing with her sister's wedding. She is very trendy but is trying to fit into a traditional wedding. I am supposed to be helping her plan, but I find it IMPOSSIBLE. First, she dreamed of a huge $$$$$ wedding or she would not get married. But she had not saved a dime and there were no parental dollars. Then she wanted a small private outdoor wedding; because it was cute, cheap and money could go towards a honeymoon; plus she is soooo in love that she just cant wait a year... she wants to get married NOW (Ok in 10 weeks). I order to help curb expenses, I suggested floating candle and rose petal center pieces, invitations printed ourselves on a color laser decorated with a single ribbon in the wedding colors, functional stuff instead of frills (like using disposable cameras and mini calendars for next year with their anniversary date circled for guests; instead of bells for each person and engraved knives) etc. Just ways to cut back on some of the BS that people are going to throw away.
So she decided to have a wedding for 50 with 100 people on her list, bc she just can not leave anyone out. Then there is the color of the BM dresses and the BMs... The ladies are all in different places and they want an opinion but time is VERY SHORT! Yes ladies, we may have to buy OFF THE RACK! To boot, the FI is not helping... and the BRIDE is PISSED about that. She is so worried about making everyone else happy and no one is worried about making her happy. THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF! it is HER day.
I am a terrible person to advise her bc I ELOPED. I have never regretted not going into $$$$ of debt for a single day that most people need pictures to remember. Come on $90 and up per plate for food you wont remember. It was about ME and MY HUBBY! We had a blast... no a BLAST... WE REMEMBER EVERYTHING... even how giddy we were on the plane to the islands to get married. I had this crazy idea that the whole marriage thing was about US! We had a party/reception when we got back... We opened an account and told people they could donate to our honeymoon fund as a gift. It was AWESOME! We all DRANK and PARTIED bc we got married. What a concept!?!?
THEIR OPINIONS DONT COUNT... DO THEY!?!?!
But that was me. I dont understand how everyone gets a say but they dont pay! "I want you to have big flowers, and a big dress and white gloved waiters and bells and whistles and rice and bubbles and beaches and ballrooms and . . . ." OK... that COSTS...I keep saying "LOVE, it is your day. Keep it that way."
I want to help, but I dont know how.... b/c I would probably not write down a thing and just tell them everyone that is sticking their nose in to Kiss My @$$!!! and HER @$$ TOOO!!! Your assistance in regards to this matter would be GREATLY appreciated.
Monday, June 16, 2003
I love this site, it cracks me up! Assume that most of the bridezillas who post here are from the US... geez, you guys take it so seriously, it's fantastic, but fairly scary... I wish I even had the imagination to make up 1 experience that matched the frightening intensity of some of the stuff I read here - some people's families are truly unbelievable... I wonder if it's got something to do with being Australian, and I don't mean to sound smug, but my god in comparison I'm having a dream run in the lead up to my marriage in November. 60 invitees, no stress, mountain ceremony, everyone well-wishing, families as much or as little involved as I want them to be. (Okay, while I'm here, I have had one small bridezilla run-in with the FH while he was making and printing the invites - he wanted the font left aligned, I wanted it centred. I won.) But chins up chicks! It should be fun!
Australian and impressed
Sydney, Monday, June 16, 2003
My MOH has taken over the rehersal dinner. I have even had to move the reheral to accomidate her. She wants to invite all out of town guests. It works out to be about 100 people. I don't think so. The rehersal dinner is suposed to be a chance for the groom and I to thank those who have heled us with the wedding not a chance to show off. It's getting out of hand. I'm willing to compromise and invite all of my and FH's Aunts and Uncles but distent cousins neither of us has seen in years (who are only being invited to the wedding as a favor to FH father - who hasn't seen them in years either!)? It's my wedding but she want's to take over because I'm marrying the only child of hers who is going to have a wedding. Back off B!%@#.
It's MY wedding!
Sunday, June 15, 2003
Sorry. It's the FMIL that is taking over, not the MOH.
It's MY wedding
Monday, June 16, 2003
I am holding a grudge against SIL. She brought her baby to the reception in spite of the fact that there were absolutely no kids invited. Not one. The baby was covered in food and in its pajamas. The LEAST she could have done, if she was going to fly in the face of her brother's wishes (not just mine) is to dress the kid up. I mean..PJs???? Covered in food???? And gee, I have eighty million professional photos of that nightmare.
CA Friday, June 13, 2003
I think the reason brides are so stressed is because they are really the only ones trying to please everyone. Everyone else is angling for what they want in the wedding. His parents want a rabbi, yours a priest, your father wants bagpipes, his father wants steel drums. And somehow the bride is supposed to make it all fit. Nobody asked what I want.
Friday, June 13, 2003
I trusted the cake decorator that she knew what she was doing without seeing any photos of her previous work. She made the smallest, ugliest, most not what I ordered cake possible. It tasted decent (the small crumb I had since it was not big enough) but it looked so atrocious on display as everyone walked in, I still have nightmares. It's a good idea to throw all your trust out the window when planning a wedding and don't take any chances with asshats like her.
Friday, June 13, 2003
Yeah, so I'm getting a little bit nervous for our wedding night... I'm anxious for it, but, it turns out, nervous too. I'm a virgin; he's not. Together we are abstaining from s until we're married. I know that God will provide for us... whatever we need. I know that by trusting in His way, we will be blessed in our marriage.
I'm still nervous, but not because of him... he's so gentle and sweet to everybody and everything... I'm not worried about that part... just about the me part... We've had to severly limit, if not curb all together, alone time lately because it's getting harder all the time to keep our hands off each other....(sigh)
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
So many people tell me that their parents offered to give them $$ if they elope... instead of spending it on a silly wedding.... My Confession: I wish that was Me!!! I would have said yes in a New York Minute!!! I've never been big on girly things... and you can't get more girly than wedding planning! My family is not big on long engagements. I'm glad because I don't think I could handle having a long time to plan a stupid wedding. Knowing me I would obsess about it for months/ years and then still wait until the last minute to make decisions.
I REALLY want to elope!
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
Yet another turning-thirty-now-must-get-married case; I'm in a wonderful relationship of many years with a great guy, and until recently neither of us was that big on the idea. (Okay, until recently I ran screaming from the room if anyone mentioned it.) But now all of a sudden I find myself looking at all these wedding sites and contemplating dresses! I discussed this with the potential fiancee, and he too is okay with the idea of "maybe in a few years" like when he finishes school, and that makes sense. Butof course our vague ideas of what we want in a wedding ceremony are complete opposites (summer vs. winter, formal vs.informal, and so on). So I dropped the subject mostly, but then I catch myself obsessing over "my perfect wedding" at work even though I know I'm gonna have to compromise and find ways to do things the way he'd like them to be also. Bridezilla in the making!
Meanwhile his ex is getting married this summer and she and I have always been soooo competitive and jealous of each other. For a long time I was hurt and jealous because she (a pushy bitch) strongarmed MY bf into being engaged to her when they were dating, but to me he said he'd never get married (probably because that bitch scarred him for life, even he says so now) the first time I brought up the subject. He and I got over that, but I'm really glad the ex didn't ask me to be in her wedding party or anything, because I would have turned into the bitchy bridesmaid from hell who criticized everything. Plus I probably (now that I have this stupid biological-clock attack of MUST GET MARRIED) am little jealous that she gets to get married and I don't yet (even though her fiance is a total loser jerk). Some of our friends have already said stuff like "I thought you would get married first" to me, since she and I have been with our respective BFs for about the same length of time now, which doesn't help me at ALL.
I know I'm gonna want to say mean stuff at her wedding under my breath about how that dress makes her look fat, how lame her fiancee is, how tacky stuff looks, whatever. I'm really trying not to be a bitch where anyone can hear me, but it's gonna be sooo hard. Her wedding's in about 5 weeks and nobody's bought anything off her registry yet (and it's all stuff she doesn't really need anyway, I know because we used to be roommates and she already has or had and broke all that kitchen junk, and there's nothing on the registry her husband would want at ALL). And really I want things to go well for them - really - but part of me wants things not to. She's "between hairstyles" (growing out short hair) and if she doesn't do something soon it's gonna look disgusting. Unfortunately I can't vent all this bitterness and meanness to anyone of my friends, because almost all of my friends are friends with her as well.
And I've been surfing too many wedding sites from work this week and I just had a nightmare about having a corporate-theme wedding complete with my work's logos on everything! It was horrible! My rational mind wants to wait a few years until we have more money and either do things right or elope to Jamaica, but the jealous bitch in me wants to show HER up or at least make my BF propose to me so I can have a big(ger) ring to show off at HER wedding reception.
hardly working and hormonal
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
Reason #1 why I have made arrangements for my doctor friend to shadow my mother with a syringe full of Lithium at the future nuptuals:
I've met Mister Right- we're discussing marriage....JUST TALKING, mind you..and my mother calls to tell me, plaintively, that "Church X is a very popular venue, if you want to get married there you should make reservations soon!"
I managed to thank her politely and remind her that, just maybe, it would be in good taste to wait until Mr. Right actually PROPOSES!!" and got the hell off the phone.
Boy Oh Boy- can't wait to plan a wedding with that one!
She was such a terror at my first sister's wedding that when my younger sister got married, she holed up with us bridesmaids and got ready in an "undisclosed location" before driving to the church at the last possible second.
Los Angeles, ca Tuesday, June 10, 2003
I came across this site a few months ago when I first got
engaged. Reading about how unhappy and stressed out so
many brides are and how spoiled, selfish, and greedy others
are has been a huge help in deciding what kind of wedding
I wanted. Small, simple, relatively casual, etc. My wedding
is a few months away and all the big stuff is decided on and
pretty much paid for. (Note to brides who expect their parents
to pay for their weddings: Don't complain when they want to
take over - pay for it yourself if you want your own wedding.
And if you're too young and poor to pay for it - then you're
too young and poor to get married!!).
The only "confession" I have (so far), is that, after being very
frugal with all the arrangements, I'm now surfing the Web
and spending way too much money on favors and decorations
for the reception because they're cute, pretty, go with my
theme (pick your reason). At this rate, I'll spend more on
favors than on my dress!
Not a Bridezilla (yet)
DC Tuesday, June 10, 2003
We're having a large summer reception after our teeny winter wedding. We hadn't registered anywhere because we don't really need anything. Some random great aunt freaked out because we weren't registered anywhere. "Have you registered yet?? You HAVE to register!!! How am I supposed to buy a gift if you're NOT REGISTERED?!" etc. So, we take an afternoon and go register. Pretty soon we're like, "Hey, we can use some sheets and towels. This pan set is nice, etc." Our party is this weekend and no one's bought one damn thing off our registry!! (Yes, I check. Nyah!) So now I guess I know exactly what I'm not getting! Glad I went to the trouble!
So much for greed
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
mine is that I want to control everything. Even do not want my finance opion. I picked out everything. The groom feels left out. My boyfriend/soon to be new husband mother is driving me nuts the absent mother in law. Don't believe anthing she says. The dolphin wedding I want my parents hate the idea. I think I would have eloped if this was a year ago. I need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, June 09, 2003
I am so tired of talking about my wedding I could puke! My "best" friends, my future in-laws and even my own mother are pulling me in 18 different directions. They aren't telling what I should be doing but they sure do mention that they would have done and what colors they prefer.
The topic of our conversations are not about the groom and I. But about what they should wear, or what overnight arrangements I've made. And how am I planning on spending time with them.
I have received countless calls from peopel wanting phone numbers and names of places to stay. When I included all that and more information in the invitation including directions and a map to all event locations and lodging. I feel like I am holding everybody's hand in this and that I don't even have time to worry about myself. Because everyone else seems to think that I should be planning their vision, outfits, jewelry or whatever.
I am stressed out, loosing sleep and am snapping at my dearest friends.
I have asked my bridesmaids to help me with favors etc. and have been ditched each time. Is that being bridezilla to ask your attendants for help? I can't wait for the big day to finally be over and I can concentrate on marriage to my best friend, not pleasing everyone else.
CO Monday, June 09, 2003
We said screw it and are getting married at Burning Man. My Bridezilla tendencies are manifesting, though, in my insistence that all invited guests (who would not be attending the event were it not for me and groomzilla) wear sarongs. My brother is not too pleased about this.
But seriously, our choice of locale was calculated in part to prevent me from becoming Ur-Bridezilla. If we were getting spliced at the country club, doubtless I would be harassing the bridesmaids to lose five pounds as we speak.
Oakland, CA Sunday, June 08, 2003
I actually told my dad that he couldn't wear the tux he wanted - I can't believe it. He wanted a black tux with a red bow tie - yuck, but who cares. Have since told him he can but now he won't and all I hear about is what a spoiled brat I am. Wish I had eloped. Can't believe I cared more about the way things looked then how someone fells - totally not me, this thing has turned me ugly, not what I wanted at all. For the rest of my life the pictures will be a reminder of how horrible I was. Think about what you say and what is really importaint before you open your mouth. It has to be worth it, insulting someone for a picture is not.
Sunk to a new low
Friday, June 06, 2003
After watching my older sister put together a farce "wedding" after spending the rent money my parents gave her to run off to CA to elope with a complete stranger my mom said, "When you get married I'm just giving you X amount of money & you can do whatever you want with it. Just don't put me through what your sister did," (i.e. acting like a bridezilla & wanting an over-the-top white wedding with all the stupid bell & whistles & everyone kiss her ass indefinitely b/c she's the only person who ever got married). So me & FH had talked it over & b/c his fam is West coast & mine is East coast (and certifiable) we decided to elope & just travel to both coasts later on for meet & greets & stuff. We booked a cruise, told everyone who didn't like it to stuff it (in a nice way), and got married on board by the captain. It was awesome. We didn't have to do anything except show up in our outfits (mine a white silk nightgown form V's Secret & him in a Hawaiian shirt) and our honeymoon started immediately. And you wouldn't believe all the free stuff we got from the cruise line for getting married on board: free upgrade to honeymoon suite, dinner with captain, boxes of chocolates, champange, & gift certificates to ship's shops, etc. When we got back home some people were somewhat sour, but when we pointed out that a big church wedding with cake & froo-froo & crap like my sister are such a pain to organize & people spend so much time worrying aobut what can go wrong they don't enjoy it, they got over it. We had our East Coast "reception" in a park with barbeque, beer & a friend's band & everyone took off their shoes & danced in the grass. Our West Coast "reception" with his family was pretty much the same, a casual party with lots of alcohol & laughing. Because we went ulta-low key & simple no one got overly offended, made crazy demands, or ended relationships over our wedding. Girls, listen to me, if your family or friends are being pains just ELOPE ELOPE ELOPE! if they can't be down with your wedding the way you want it then they don't have to be there.
NC Smug Bride
Thursday, June 05, 2003
Planning is making me go utterly insane!!!! My mom won't let my step-mom (who i think has better taste) help!! She actually made me cry on the phone, so now my mom is the only one who i can go to for planning help. I think my Dad has no idea what's going on, my FH hasn't done a thing (although i did assign him 2 things to do). God, i just want to marry him, do we have to do this whole wedding thing? we are having a 50-person wedding and everyday it seems like more people are inviting themselves and i can't say no. Soon it's going to be a 100 person wedding, 50 of those people i won't care about. I just want to love my FH for the rest of my life, forget this whole trying to please everyone crap. I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!!!!
wanting marriage not a wedding
Chandler, AZ Wednesday, June 04, 2003
I found out that my mother wants to me to plan the one and only wedding I ever hope to plan and have with $1,000(no I didn't miss any zeros). I am a nineteen year old collage student anything extra I have to pay for along with my FH who is also a starving college student. All of my hopes and dreams of a nice wedding I feel like are being flushed down the toliet. And I have to be understanding because nobody in either of our families has money. FH parents are missionaries in Africa and my dad is a preacher.
Fort Wayne, IN Wednesday, June 04, 2003
The only reason the bride is still alive is because she was a long term friend. If anyone else treated me like that they would have payed dearly. After 3 showers and a stagette where she demanded invitations were mailed out, food, alcohol and a stripper, not to mention the $300 dress plus aterations and $150 on hair. I also made the memory book, wedding music CD's, guest books and Wedding Cake. Her response, forgetting to thank me and letting me know that family is more importaint than friends in her speech. Nothing feels better than going all out for someone, keeping quite because it's their day and then getting a kick in the gut in the end. Well thanks for nothing and remeber what goes around comes around. I hope your sister and cousin are there for you in the future, like they were in the wedding - you'll have a lonley life, enjoy!
Wednesday, June 04, 2003
I got married in November after being engaged for 3 years. Desperately wanted to elope, but family freaked. Settled on a 30 person wedding.
(Note: for brides considering this option, just go ahead and elope. Family can be just as miserable for 30-person weddings, if not more so because then their status guests won't fit in.)
Had to plan the whole wedding in 3 months because FH *had* to be married that year. (Or what?) FH *wanted* a wedding scraped together in 1 month since his dad would be in town but EVERYONE else was out of state, so I put my foot down. I spent every single night and weekend making centerpieces, picking flowers, collecting bows, etc. while FH played video games at friend's house. Grrrr. The best part was when he HAD to have his hobby website designed and "needed help." (I'm a web developer.) So when I wasn't making stupid bow crap I had to stay up til midnight designing his stupid website! GRRRR!
My mother gave everyone uclers lamenting how I was ruining everything, including calling me up two days before the wedding to tell me how embarrassed she was going to be. I tried to set up a "girl's dinner" with my sister and longtime friend (other attendant) and they both stood me up.
The girl we had coming in to help serve food flaked out on us two days before and I ended up setting up the food myself during my wedding.
My MOH sister didn't show up until an hour before the ceremony. My mother got fuming mad because she got stuck folding napkins during setup and she thought she was just going to come in and sit there.
My parents offered to take everyone out for dinner the nite before then went on and on about how they "got shanghied into paying for dinner." (WTF?!) FH and best man were supposed to be shopping for pants but ended up shopping for hot wheels instead.
By the wedding night, I was totally wiped. H was supposed to pick up movie we'd been "saving ourselves" until the wedding night to see, but forgot it. Then he went ballistic because I was too tired to put out. Then he accidentally washed my contacts down the sink.
After the wedding, heard multiple snotty remarks about various people being put out about not being invited. (Hello. 30 people. My mom's rude casual friend and neighbor who didn't score an invite can kiss my ass.) The clincher was Mommy Dearest who couldn't get over the fact that she didn't have a wedding out of Bride Magazine and said that "for my next wedding she'll make sure I don't make the same mistakes."
Now we're planning our spring reception. Mom is haranguing us once again about details and saying how she "doesn't want to help with a thing." Sister already escaped to Florida after telling me I "acted like Queen Elizabeth" on my wedding day and how she had better things to do than go to my stupid reception.
All I can say people, is what comes around goes around.
Still pissed at the fam damily..
Wednesday, June 04, 2003
I've been engaged one month, and I have already planned the entire wedding, most of the guest list, written music for the ceremony, etc. etc. etc... but I've become such an obsessive ditz that I'm not sure I've told all my "wonderful" plans to my fiance yet. Oh, yeah, and the wedding is still 1 1/2 years away! I'm not inviting my mother, or even telling her I'm engaged, because she's a paranoid delusional alcoholic who hasn't said a civil word to me in years (so I stopped speaking to her). We are not asking my father or fiance's family to pay for a thing, because we want this to be OUR wedding, in OUR style. We aren't having bridesmaids or groomsmen, let alone MOH or BM... instead we're having Bards and Warriors as our attendants... because it's a Druid/Pagan Handfasting. Yup, priestess and priest invoking ancient gods with unpronounceable names, chants, sacrifices (of food & wine, you sickos), the whole nine yards. His family doesn't yet know he's Pagan... and his mother's an Evangelical Southern Revivalist Christian. I hope his grandmother doesn't have a heart attack. I asked my fiance to take my brother (and only sibling) as one of his "attendants", but never gave a thought to any of his half-dozen out-of-state sisters. The entire ritual will be Druidic, from kilts on the men to the liturgy and the songs... but I'm insisting on a gold-and-white Indian sari for my dress, which will make me stick out like a tiger lily among thistles... BUT DAMN IT, I'M THE BRIDE!!! How many more months until the wedding? Oh Gods, please don't let me get any worse...
Tuesday, June 03, 2003
I live in rural New Mexico and the chance of a civilized wedding seems more and more distant as I try to find qualified caterers, photographers, etc. There are no wedding coordinators/planners here! The wedding's about a year away and I'm already sick of people pushing BBQ or tacos with paper plates as reception fare. Even when I tell them I'm not interested they still try to sell me the idea. I want to scream in their faces "this is a wedding, NOT a HOEDOWN!" Why waste my time?! Hello, Civilization? Are you out there???
Sunday, June 01, 2003
So I'm feeling smart. I waited to get engaged until I felt like I could get through planning a wedding with my guy. And then, we half-secretely eloped right after we decided to tie the knot, but we're going to have a wedding next spring. Our local friends know we are officially married, and we're able to sort of quietly learn to deal with looking at each other and say "husband" and "wife" As far as our families know, we're engaged, and they're doing all of the craziness that families do about "ach! you're getting married! that means ___! and ___! and ____!" and we can sort of deal, because we're already used to it. I KNOW he's my husband, and I KNOW what he's like, and I KNOW he loves me and I KNOW we're good at working things out together (because I couldn't marry him until I trusted that). I don't have to scream at anyone, ever, because the wedding is a ceremony, a party. My life and my marriage are not hinged on it. Ya know?
And to all those irritated that others are not behaving as expected - um, accept it and move on. Perhaps you feel that, by getting married, or just by virtue of having a wedding, you're going to put aside who YOU are, but that's probably not the healthiest choice, and you certainly can't expect other people to put aside who THEY are for YOUR wedding. And people might respond better if you can accept who they are, and realize that what you're asking them to do for your wedding might be a really monumental favor.
Brrrooklyn!, NY Friday, May 30, 2003
I think my maid of honor is one jealous chic. Is it mean that I rub in the fact that I am getting married and she's not? I don't think so cause it feels so good but when I start talking about my wedding she makes a face, so I just keep on talking about it. hahaha.
Bride in Texas
Wichita Falls, Tx Wednesday, May 28, 2003
It's not so bad I guess, but I really hate my groom's best friend, so I "lost" his save the date card. Then I removed his address from the address book. My groom didn't notice for a while, but the best friend finally got the invite 2 months after everyone else.
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Why would your parents come check out sites with you, insist on certain packages, the church they want, you get them, and then they start complaining about cost???
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
One last confession: a friend is getting married the same day as me...I had my date picked out first and secretly resent her for choosing the same date. Now all our friends have to choose between my wedding or hers!
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
I fired my maid of honor.
I asked my 18 year old sister to not get any more tattoos or body piercings before the wedding.
I yelled at the Dillard's manager in front of at least 20 other customers because her registry lady is a total b**ch.
I changed my bridesmaid dresses 10 times before finally deciding on them.
I hate my future sister-in-law and have my planner on lookout for her to purposely keep her away from me and my family on the wedding day.
I sent someone a save the date card, but now do not want them at my wedding so I'm not sending them an invitation...I never see them anymore, they won't even notice.
Threatened to kill my two little sisters if they complained or fought once on my wedding day (they're 16 and 18 for goodness sakes!).
My fiance cut out our save the date cards, and after about 10 of them were stuffed and sealed into their envelopes I noticed that he had not cut all of them exactly even. I went back and re-opened all the already sealed envelopes to make sure they were all cut evenly. Then I went back and trimmed the edges on all 200 save the date cards to make sure they were perfectly even...my fiance thinks I'm nuts.
In my defense, though, I have been really leanient/good bride on a lot of other issues.
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
So many things to say- i think all brides turn into bridezilla at some point! My personal favourite was when i arrived at my wedding (2 weeks ago) late (not worth discussing) to find that all my guests had been forced to walk through a bridal fair (tacky- revolting) before being taken to the appointed chambers for the wedding. It caused this incredible parody of our wedding. The thing i find most amazing is that there was a whole hour in which this could have been fixed.
I never thought I would be threatening peoples lives on my wedding day- but hey- breach of contract- we're not paying those irresponsible people. It was incredibly humiliating- I hate tizzy wedding stuff and the bridal fair is the best example. Anyway I am still angry about it- but im sure ill move on! Good luck to all those brides out there- Advice: Dont forget to inform your helpers (brides maids) that their only job on the day is to make sure you are having a good time!!!GOOD LUCK!
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Whenver I think of my Dad, I just want to cry. No he is not dead. He is just disgruntled that I chose to have a destination wedding and his side of the family is too cheap to go. Instead of his relatives politely declining and wishing us the best of luck, they are bitching and moaning about how I planned this wedding in a way to make sure that they cannot go. So irritating. If they are too cheap to spend money on the airfare, that is their problem. My dad promised my FI and I $$$ for the wedding when we got engaged. I havent received anything and I know he is not going to give us any b/c his sisters are telling him that he doesnt have to contribute to my wedding if his family doesnt attend. My mom is a big depressed mess right now. Everytime I get off the phone with her I just want to start banging my head against the wall or drink a bottle of rubbing alcohol. She keeps going on and on about how she hates my dad, and how she has a problem with this and a problem with that. She hasnt helped me plan a damn thing for my wedding, but she did manage to spend $500 on HER dress that she is wearing to the wedding. I am so stressed out right now. We only have two months to go and I am literally paying each wedding bill paycheck to paycheck. I cant believe that my parents arent helping me with anything. What really bothers me is that when I got engaged,they promised that they would help. They encouraged me to have the wedding somewhere nice even if it was a little more expensive than what was in my budget because they said that they would help pay. Now that all this shit is happening, no one is helping me with anything. I just wished they told me in the beginning that they werent contributing anything and then I could have followed a budget that I could afford instead of convincing me to make commitments that I couldnt afford. I am going to have to live off of government cheese and spam until the wedding day.
sad broke bride
Friday, May 23, 2003
At my cousins wedding, I gushed to my aging grandmother about how fabulous she looked (she didn't, but I was trying to be gracious) she responded "Will you please just elope, attending this wedding was really hard on us." As my wedding is just a couple of months away, everything planned and paid for - uh NO I won't elope, but of course I cocked my head, smiled sweetly and said "sure". Invitations have been sent, and I wonder if she'll even call wondering why she didn't get one. Ha, don't put yourself out on my account! Since she was incapable of offering a polite decline, I did it for her!
Please tell me we're not really related.
Friday, May 23, 2003
B*tched about color of carpet in church in front of priest.
Thursday, May 22, 2003
I stabbed the wedding cake during the cake cutting ceremony and it tipped over, but due to it's rubbery consistance it bounced right back.
Kansas City, MO Thursday, May 22, 2003
My wedding was a black tie affair. Prior to the reception but after the cocktail hour, my brother-in-law was wearing his scottish kilt (in formal attire that was clearly appropriate). However, I believed that he was attracting attention with his unique outfit. I had one of my bride's maids take him aside and ask that he change out of his kilt. He was not happy about it, and actually sought the advice of his wife. His wife confronted me and asked, "Do you really want [my husband] to leave the reception and change because he is taking away attention from you?" I actually said that I wanted her husband to change. My reception was then ruined because it caused such an uproar that everyone was looking at me with those eyes (You are the biggest b****). I am sorry to my brother in law for being an insecure and arrogant and being an out of control-control freak
Sun Valley, ID Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Everything's mostly okay... got the maids' shoes, chose the invitations, starting to write the ceremony and vows. All smooth. But when my mother told me last weekend that her parents wouldn't be there, I sort of did the sour-grapes thing and said I was never expecting much showing from my family anyway. That was mean of me... I WAS expecting that set of GPs and I do feel bad that they won't be there. So, later, I apologized.
The discount bride
MA Monday, May 19, 2003
there nothing wrong with lighthearted freaking-outs by the bride.
but there are women who loose relationships with people like their familys and close friends permanently, break up with fiancees, put huge personal and monetary stress on themselves and other people......becasue of acting like 'bridezillas.'
that's not cute.
Sunday, May 18, 2003
what makes you think that the term 'bridezilla' or confessing your bridal 'sins' is still cute/funny?
Saturday, May 17, 2003
STILL? So it was once cute/funny, but isn't anymore? Have we evolved or something? Huh. Oh, I dunno...look at the piles of confessions that are posted here, or at the vast quantities of Bridezilla merchandise that gets sold from this site. Somebody must like it.
Plain and simple, I am so disappointed. I just found out that my best friend (a guy), may not be able to attend my wedding due to work obligations, but the reception and brunch afterwards. I'm trying to be understanding, but he's known about this wedding for the last year and a half. And this isn't the first time he's dones something like this. If there's anyone I want there, it's him. When I told my fI about the whole thing, he took a very diplomatic view. I wanted someone who would just say, you're right, that sucks big time. I feel helpless about the whole situation because he works under a special situation that he can't get out of. I know the world doesn't stop for our wedding, but my world does and he's in my world. I feel betrayed. And I'm mad at myself for being so mad with him, but I'm allowed, right?
New York, NY Friday, May 16, 2003
My mother is driving me crazy! I'm trying to plan my wedding a little at a time, you know following the timelines in most of the etiquette books. at 9 months do this, at 8 months do this....well everytime I ask her for something...names for the guest list, her opinion on something, ANYTHING, she tells me that I'm stressing too much and I should just stop planning the wedding until at least 3 months before the big day. WHAT? I'm going to college and will be going full time for the next 6 months in addition to working at least part time and trying to get into law school. I have so many irons in teh fire that I have to plan the wedding when I have free time from school like right now or like in two months. I'm not going to have time nor will I feel comfortable with waiting until 3 months before the wedding to do everything. It feel overwhelming now, how am I going to feel knowing that if something goes wrong, there's no time to fix it? I just don't know what to do !! On top of all that, each time we meet with someone, the caterer, the florist, etc. she doesn't let me talk. I get virtually no say in the matter at all, in fact the florist told her to let me talk when we met with him. I have to go through her to get things done because my dad is giving her the money for everything, but I just don't know how much more I can take!!!
Alabama Friday, May 16, 2003
I am sooooooooo irritated. I have been planning my destination wedding for a year and a half. I love my family but my FI and I are on a limited budget and we are trying to do the best we can, especially since my parents are unable to help us out. My mom had a great paying job and she offered to pay for the house rental that her and relatives will stay at (my fiance and i won't be staying in this house). well, my mom lost her job and guess who got stuck with the bill??? that's right! me! I was dumb enough to help her out and book the contract in my name. now i have to take over the bill. i said, no. you have 12 people staying in that rental with you, you need to take up a collection and have them chip in. i understand the economy and i know that it's a real stretch for some people to come, but i really feel like i am being taken advantage of. i am already paying for more than 2/3 of the damn rental and these people staying there don't even want to chip in at all! it's like they are expecting a free vacation! and then, they have the nerve to make me feel like the bad guy when i ask if they are chipping in for anything. i have already contributed more than my fair share and what really irritates me is that I am not even staying in that damn house rental! nobody seems to get that. do they think i am made of money? do they think I should return my wedding dress just so i can pick up the tab and they can have a swell vacation? that's not fair! i am the f**king bride! and last time i checked, worrying about somebody else's house rental bill was not on my list of things to be stressing over about. i can't take this! i feel so taken advantage of. this house rental has already put a huge dent in my budget and i am going to end up with plastic flowers and no music at my damn reception. i really don't think it's fair that my mom committed herself to this and just passed the buck to me. i hate this!!!!!
Thursday, May 15, 2003
My fi's friends and family so amazingly hard that it boggles my mind. He has been such a good son and great friend and now at his time of celebration they are totally letting him down. I have cried over this. I feel so bad about how distant and totally uncaring his family and friends have been. I swear once the wedding is over I am absolutely never acknowledging his friends again in my life. His family I am stuck with.
Thursday, May 15, 2003
To:Fiance's shouldn't have sisters-
EXACTLY!!! I too considered picking out the ugliest BM dress I could find just so that she would look ridiculous in it...but I have the same problem (my 2 sisters are also bridesmaids and I would never do that to them). Sucks, doesn't it?!
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
I'm not sure what it is about siblings getting married but to be a good sibling through the process takes an incredible amount of patience, and humility. With that said, my Fi's sister (whom I barely know and who cut the family out of her life for the last 8 years so HE barely knows as well!) has forced--not asked--but forced herself into the wedding. We weren't planning to have "attendants" but were trying to keep the ceremony small but she now has my Fi's mother calling him at work to harrass him into making promises of lacy satiny silky dresses and bouquets and all sorts of stuff we had never even considered for our own ceremony. Needless to say, its getting out of hand. We've made the adjustments to include all our siblings in the ceremony (not wanting to give her special treatment) and I'm secretly pissed off because I can't give her a hideous dress to buy and wear without inflicting some similar horror on my own sisters.
Fiances shouldn't have sisters
Madison, WI Wednesday, May 14, 2003
OK- Weve had problems all along the way of this wedding planning, but this week takes the cake! 4 days to the big day and the tux place messes up yet again. My future husband keeps having dreams that the tuxes dont come in and they have nothing to wear. This is becomming a nightmare. Then the place I am to have the cake from lost the reciept for payment (which was in full) and wasnt going to make the cake until I showed up with my reciept for the payment. Then I cannot find my birth certificate which is needed to get onto the boat for my honeymoon cruise. And if that is not enough, the step kids ride can no longer bring them. So it looks like one of us is going to have to drive to get them-not looking forward to this! So many red signs and Im trying to ignore them, but its getting harder. Im begining to wonder if it is going to go smoothly on Saturday.
stressed to the MAX
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
I cannot stand my fiance's sister! Unfortunately, I felt compelled to ask her to be a bridesmaid (she IS his only sibling!) She is rude, selfish, immature, need I go on? Even my fiance agrees! She is so selfish, she wouldn't even look at bridesmaid dresses with me--instead, she shopped for herself the entire time while we were SUPPOSED to be looking at dresses! That was the last straw- I don't even want her AT the wedding, let alone IN IT!!! I am so frustrated that our perfect day will be so tainted by her!
Monday, May 12, 2003
While it's true that a BM is not obligated to throw tons of parties for the bride, if you hate her that much you should never have accepted the position. You're not "being nice" accepting it and then being a horrible shrew about it. Being a BM is an honor, not a favor.
My confession is our wedding is going to be super-simple at a fancy local restaurant, so I get perverse pleasure from how much stress other brides are under, where all I have to do is sign the check!
Not a Bridezilla!
Monday, May 12, 2003
O.k. ladies. As a victim of bridezilla behavior, I have to make an announcement. UNLESS YOUR BRIDESMAIDS ARE SISTERS or VERY LONG-TERM FRIENDS, DO NOT EXPECT THEM TO DO "EVERYTHING A BRIDESMAID IS SUPPOSED TO DO" It's likely she was just being nice when she agreed to be in your wedding. She's actually accomodating you by buying an ugly expensive dresses she'll never wear again (remember- nobody ever tells the bride how ugly the bridesmaid's dresses are.) She does not owe you any engagement parties, bridal showers or bachelorette parties. And, she doesn't owe you gifts, volunteer labor or ongoing bitch sessions. Finally, just because she agreed to be in your wedding doesn't mean she's happy about wearing a hot ugly dress in front of hundreds of strangers all day, or that now she wants to be your best friend. j
Monday, May 12, 2003
I HAD SEX WITH MY EX RIGHT BEFORE MY WEDDING. I WANTED TO DO IT JUST ONE MORE TIME!!
Monday, May 12, 2003
I have broken ties with most of my friends and relatives. 20 people (aside from the other 60 that did show up) RSVP'D saying they were coming to the wedding AND bringing univited friends, DIDN'T show up and didn't call to tell me they weren't coming. I ordered food for 40 people that never showed. PEOPLE SUCK! The ones that did show had a fabulous time, but I have decided to spend the rest of the time with my husband ALONE! One of my best friends that helped out a bit before the wedding (placing favor boxes)got so jealous of me after the wedding was over, that she started making comments about us already "having everything" so we didn't need gifts and basically called me worthless since I was a housewife and didn't have a job outside the home. ONCE AGAIN "PEOPLE SUCK".
Rid of Them...
Monday, May 12, 2003
Short and sweet - I know a set of identical twins. Like one, hate the other. I want the one I like to be my bridesmaid - don't want the other one to come at all. They tell me it's a package deal, though - either both as bridesmaids or neither will come. The one I like tells me it's not worth getting her horrible twin all upset about it.
So, I don't get my bridesmaid. I do wish somebody had strangled her twin at birth.
Sunday, May 11, 2003
So... getting married in six weeks. Now, this has been a bit more than the usual obstacle course because of my rather severe physical disability and the distance from the groom's former home. Plus, finances are tight.
Enter my friends. One of whom is organizing the wedding -and- catering it. My SIL (brother's wife) is baking the cake. My business parter is videotaping. Another old friend, photographer. Yet another, flying out from CA to perform the ceremony. Handmade truffles from my ex-boyfriend's wife, to boot. Another friend is driving up six states to perform bathe, diaper & dress the bride duties (I said "severe") on the day.
No attendants for the simple reason that everyone I'd want is too busy working the event to stand still behind me. I don't -need- speeches and tafetta to know who my friends are... just look for the calluses.
My mother had a panic attack because FH and I decided we were moving in order to oh -- have a future where he'd have a job and I'd have a chance at a life. She didn't like the idea. Raised 8 specific objections, we changed plans to answer each of them, then proceeded.
She ztill didn't like it.
So she's disowned me financially. Due to "disability, severe" I was dependent on a family trust for many things. We can -- we have to be able to -- do without it, but it's going to require juggling, stress and magic tricks.
She already paid for the wedding (5k, a figure that made those who knew blink -- she's loaded, to put it bluntly.) We managed to stay within budget for 75 guests by careful shopping and sheer miracles on the part of the aforementioned friends and some cleverness (free place) on my part.
She's even said to my best friend (see, "organizer") "I hope I'm still invited." FH does NOT want her there... I have pointed out she'll feel a lot worse if we're quietly classy and do keep her there. Oh, she had no involvement in the planning -- gave my BF the check to spend -- can't trust the brain damaged daughter with it, after all -- and has not done a thing since. Except, of course, cut off my support.
There are too many people who would feel compelled to take sides that I care about and want there to do anything but politely welcome her. FH -- rather understandably -- thinks that I'm taking the high road to the point of nosebleed.
Any advice? Keep in mind I want her there -- it'd be a bigger noise if she were absent. And to be honest, it may be the -last- time I ever see her... this move means FH & I probably have to relocate to his much less expensive home state. And I don't much feel like going out of my way to visit someone who -- well, just disowned me.
It was all going so smoothly...
Saturday, May 10, 2003
I am getting married for the first and only time Sept of 2003 and my mother is apparently celebrating her 3rd marriage the same day! Okay, my mom is only on her second marriage, but she thinks this is all for her. Let me count the ways...1)while picking out flowers she only pointed out the one's that would have 'looked great' with her first wedding. 2) she gave me a list of songs to be played at the reception for her, her husband and friends to dance to (including that annoying Grease Medley and the ChaCha song--not our style) 3) When I told her that my FH's fam is throwing a shower a month before my wedding, she decided that she was going to renew her wedding vows that day...hello?! steal the spotlite AND lay on a guilt trip! 4)she planned the whole shower, booked the caterer and hall, bought invitations etc...w/out my BF/MOH of 10+years!! (thank you MIL for including her! 5)she insists that the pink flowers I have dreamed about forever will not match my dress....doesn't everything go with white?? 6)She refused to have my inlaws names on the invitation because they're not paying for it 7) when asked if she would mind helping bring home gifts, etc after the reception she said 'No way, I'm the hostess so I don't have to do a damn thing...talk to your inlaws' 8)she threw a fit because we are leaving for our honeymoon the next day and are not having a gift opening...mind you, we've owned our own home for almost 3 years 9)she originally picked out a very light cream M of Bride dress that is poufy like a prom dress...(or a wedding dress??!!)10)...I better quite before the steam pouring out of my ears ruins my computer. I too am wishing I had either eloped or just went crazy with the plans and done everything wacky and non traditional!!
Wait, who's wedding is this?
WI Friday, May 09, 2003
Okay, I am in dire need of a venting place. First of all, the chapel where I wanted to get married cancelled my reservation because they required a $1,000 deposit (that I knew nothing about) and they never received the money. I wonder why... Anyway, now we've gotten that fiasco worked out, my fiance is starting to talk with his best man about his bachelor party. I am mortally terrified of a stripper situation. I am adamantly against the idea of some strange woman rubbing her what-nots all over "my" man. It isn't his last night of freedom...he hasn't been free in three years. Why do guys have this crazed obsession with naked women that they have no business being around? What makes it okay for a woman to be paid to rub all over a man who's about to be married? If some random woman did it, it would be cheating...but since she's being paid, it's not?? My fiance says he has no intention of getting a stripper, doesn't want one, etc. But I've known too many men who've said the same thing and yet had their marriages ruined because of it. I just don't know what I'm going to do about it!!! Anybody got any helpful hints about how not to kill the best man in the event that a stripper is present???
Blissfully Engaged *gag* <email>
AL Wednesday, May 07, 2003
My wedding was scheduled for April 2004. After my FMIL rude and obnoxious behavior, its been changed. I've known my FH for 6 years. She thinks we are rushing things. Needless to say nothing was good enough for her. She expected us to sit down and go over our schedule with hers for a time AND place. I think not! This is MY WEDDING TOO, NOT HERS. Her reason for hating a morning wedding......she can't get her hair done. I swear she said that to me, I almost lost it. I told her she can have my hairdresser, I don't care, I just want to get married. She cried during a dinner with my FH and myself. It was quite embarassing. Now MY mom is planning everything so I don't have to talk to her anymore. And its going to be a lot sooner than she thinks...........I'm SOOO looking forward to the look on her face when she finds out its in a couple of months! Serves her right. Perhaps if she wasn't such an obnoxious woman, she'd realize how good she had it before.
No longer stressed!
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
We're having a daytime wedding with a simple but elegant brunch reception. I've never been a fan of daytime tuxedos so we mandated that suits be worn for the men in the wedding party. My dad is fine with it, in fact he's thrilled. FI is fine with it, he needs a new suit, anyway. Groomsmen are OK with it since they already have appropriate suitage and don't have to deal with getting measurements, etc, at worst have to get a new shirt and tie. I figure no problem, bridesmaids regularly have to shell out for dresses and shoes, so all's fair, right? Not for the future in-laws. FMIL keeps calling FI and asking why we aren't renting tuxedos since its a wedding and FFIL doesn't have a suit and tuxedos should be used since they're rented so they don't have to buy one. They imply that our desires are causing undue burden on the families and guests. FI replies, "well, we're wearing suits, not tuxedos, since its a daytime wedding--nice enough for a suit, but not enough for a tuxedo." OK so if this conversation happened once, no big deal. BUT ITS HAPPENED THREE TIMES IN THE LAST MONTH, each time as if the previous conversation has never taken place. Not only that, I told FMIL last summer and over the holidays that I'm not a big fan of the gender inequity of wedding party attire/resulting cost, and--most importantly--we simply like suits better than tuxedos.
So if this is brought up again it will be very hard for me to restrain myself from saying, "SHUT UP AND GET A FREAKIN' SUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Won't back down!!!
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
We are a couple in our early and mid 40's who were both married before and long since divorced. We just got married on April 5th and wow the troubles we had getting there! At first it was his eldest, a univ student girl, who took grave offense to her father having a woman in his life. She screamed and yelled and took temper tantrums til he finally said grow up or go away. He had everyone on notice that her name was not to be mentioned near me, most especially on our wedding day. If she were MY daughter I would have sat her down LONG ago and explained 'life'. We were planning a sit down dinner and dancing reception and the stress got to be just too much, so we downscaled to a smaller wedding (25 people) at a very nice restaurant after a city hall ceremony. I read the confessions, I even linked this site to our wedding website that we called The Damn Wedding. The premise was to post wedding pics for friends and family to choose from and download. It got to be a very busy site with everyone posting messages and pics - before AND after the wedding - all lighthearted and fun. Downscaling was the best thing we ever did because it came back to being about us getting married with our family and friends celebrating. It was more important that our guests have a good time and enjoy themselves on our wedding day. Trust me Brides To Be...when you're in that limo with your new husband, having champagne and taking those 20 mins to be alone, ALL that ever mattered or will matter was to be able to enjoy your ceremony and your party. Don't go postal in the process. It's not worth it because after a year of hard work and fights and crying - you're married in 20 mins and then it's dinner :)
Second Time Bride
Monday, May 05, 2003
I had to add, even though it will go above, that my fiancee received some emails from an ex-girlfriend after letting her know he was getting married. She is to be a teacher like me, and is asking some questions that I've answered. He is very cautious in asking me and telling me what he is saying. IN fact, he is giving me a copy of every email he sends. Last night, there arrived in the mail a book that she borrowed about his hometown in England. She's had it for 5 years and finally returned it. I think it's because he's a guy, but he doesn't seem to see that she is coming to grips that he is marrying. I'm simply amused by the whole thing and really can see how getting married has a ripple effect. I've been in the ex-boyfriend getting married symdrome and it can be hard.
But then, today I read the book so I could learn about his hometown some more, of which, he took me to visit and propose i.e in England.
*Feel like the cat that got the canary.* Smug, yes, smug is the word. "Yeah, he's mine sweaty."
Sure you other brides-to-be feel the same.
Friday, May 02, 2003
I have tried not to be a bridezilla, but that is not working. We first had problems with the tux place, they wanted us to pay for the tuxes more than once-I dont think so. Then we had a lady picked out for the cake, we couldnt get in touch with her. We found a replacment and the cake was soooooo bad.We now have a cake ordered. Now here I am less than two weeks away from my wedding date and still have recieved hardly any RSVPs from people. Then to top it all off, I sat down & did the little rice things- with netting and ribbons- for my sisters wedding in August and havent done my own yet! I am just ready for the whole thing to be over with and done!
wanting it to be done!!
Friday, May 02, 2003
Well, I thought I'd follow up now that the count down is 3 months to go. I'm planning my wedding in a mere 6 months. Teachers do prefer to marry in the summer. Since my fiancee proposed on Dec. 31, 2002, well, I didn't want to wait 1 1/2 years. Rather spend it married. Not getting any younger.
When I first started, scroll to earlier confessions, I was bombarded with the Bridezella crap. I was afraid to hurt peoples feelings, and trying to do family and bridemaids maintanance. Not to mention 4 other couples in our larger group of friends getting married.
Well, here's what I've been living by. I've taken up something not to do with wedding planning for my sanity-gardening. The Green Man bit my butt hard. Plus, knowing what I want when I meet with vendors; I'm not taking anything less...but oh yes, it must fit the budget. I have since found great invites on the internet, making my own tiaras for bridesmaids and self, a friend is making both of our veils. And I'm even pleased the bridesmaids by letting them pick out matching seperates that fit MY WEDDING COLORS.(Most bridal salons have this option. They can wear the tops out later.)
My fiancee And I have reached an agreement in budgeting and choices of items. HE has several jobs, including wedding list, addresses, and even picking wedding bell CDS for the ceremony.
In the end, it comes together, and the whole planning stage--as I thought--sets a foundation for your marriage in relation to family, friends, and oh yes, your fiancee.
IN conclusion, I decided what kind of bride I wanted to be. That is-MYSELF! I may be bitchy, nice, mean, demanding, stressed, over-taxed, but I'm going to be the bride I WANT TO BE.
San Jose, CA Friday, May 02, 2003
I hate my best friend's boyfriend with a passion. If he ever proposes to her, I am going to have to tell her that I can't stand up with her. That is going to break both of our hearts. But I can't in good faith be a witness to a marriage that is psychologically abusive every day.
Thursday, May 01, 2003
I am the moh in my best friend's wedding, which is just a few short weeks away. I've been helping her plan this wedding since they got engaged 2 yrs. ago and I am just not excited about it anymore. Besides that...I don't think that they should be getting married. They're really young, just out of school, and have no $. Parents are paying for everything...including the honeymoon...and where they are living. They fight all the time. Some of the other attendants have bets on how long they will stay married. I decided at the beginning that I will forever hold my peace, but I decided to confess to ease my guilt.
MOH in Hell
NY Wednesday, April 30, 2003
HA HA HA HA HA!!!! He finally proposed!! I have been confessing my total obsession with this for months and it finally happened!!! Hooray for moi!!!! Hee hee. We were on the beach last Tuesday and I didn't suspect a thing. It was so sweet. Then he took me out for sushi. Yea. I have already got my bridesmaids and told everyone. I also have written up the announcement and sent it to my dad. He hasn't told his parents yet, which kind of irratates me. I mean, why haven't you told your parents??? At least they won't find out from the paper b/c they live in another state. Whatever.
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
Okay, I want to know when it is appropriate for a bridesmaid to inform the bride she is pregnant. My future sister-in-law has not told me, has been fitted for her dress and everything. She will be 6 months pregnant - my dresses are a two piece style. I think it will look awful. She wrote on her alteration card at the bridal shop "I'm pregnant, don't tell bride". She has completely deceived me, and hasn't brought up the subject yet! If I had known, I could have found her a dress that would be more flattering! Am I being a total bitch for being upset - or has she done something wrong! (By the way, she would totally do this on purpose to take away from my day. She got pregnant the month that I asked her to be in my wedding. She sees me as a complete threat, which I am not).
Last to Know
MI Tuesday, April 29, 2003
I just got wonderful news one month before the "big, special day" The liquor is going to cost 2 1/2 times what we budgeted. The wedding is in 25 days and the caterer won't respond to phone calls or emails to tell me what my final cost per person is! I don't think it's unreasonable to want to know if its costing $55 per person or $47 per person at 100 people, I may have my booze money and not know it! He knows how many courses and what we want, he just isn't responding. I gave him time because I thought it too bridezilla to hound him months before the wedding, now he doesn't have time because it's "wedding season". When he does call back, he always speaks in a slow, calm voice that just makes me want to vomit! The inference I get (perhaps too sensitive) is that I'm being hysterical and he needs to calm me down. 'Hey ass, I'll stop calling and being crazy if you just tell me how much I should write the check out for, you know, the one you need in TWO WEEKS!'
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
For all of you who have become Bridezillas and don't know why (like if you're not normally a total bitch, but suddenly everyone, even your FH, annoys the hell out of you), read THE CONCIOUS BRIDE. I cannot stress enough how much this book is helping me right now. Also, for the record, I am THE luckiest girl on earth: I met my guy last August, he proposed three weeks later, we are to be married September 7th and we love each other more every day because we talk EVERYTHING out. Even - especially - the hard things that might hurt at the moment, be we only grow stronger in our commitment and love.
As for the wedding planning...well, I just wish people knew/remembered that I have nothing in common with a sorority girl, but that doesn't mean I don't want nice things or a nice wedding. Can't it be pretty without being sickeningly "perfect" or frighteningly expensive? Can't it be girlie-pink AND sophisticated at the same time? Why is this such a difficult concept to grasp?!
Monday, April 28, 2003
I'm getting married this November, and I am basically doing everything myself, because my bitchy sister isn't "girly" and wants to "have as much to do with planning the wedding as B (the groom)" What the hell?? She's just my MOH that's all, so I have no help from her, then she gets pissed that my other BM and my mom plan my bridal shower and don't put her name on the invitation that she helped to plan it!!! She didn't even buy me anything for the bridal shower! She put her name on all my mother's gifts! Plus she refuses to wear a dress so I am having her wear a pantsuit instead and now she is bitching that I want her to wear a necklace and earrings. I thought I had a sister who would wear a tutu and combat boots for my day if I asked her too, and now its like I am making all my arrangements around what she wants and doesn't want to wear/do on my wedding day. ARGH!!!
vegas girl at heart
Friday, April 25, 2003
alright- although we have only been engaged for 5 days- we have been together for 5 years- I can forsee all sorts of terrible issues arising. We live in Cali- all our family and friends are from the east coast, so if we do it there I have to trust my Mum to do the planning- If we do it here- I will never hear the end of it. I have choosen not to have any attendants as a pre-emptive strike against fueds- and I have devised a fool proof finiancal plan- mum and dad / honey and I/ IL & FIL all pay one third of the cost- and each are alloted equal numbers on the guest list... Sounds good now- Im sure it will back fire!!
Friday, April 25, 2003
ok my FH and i haven't set a date yet but i want it happen in 2005 a year after he graduates from college. and i also know i want to have a victorian era stlye weddig. my problem, my family is so unsupportive! they keep telling me it's too soon to plan our wedding, purchase items and so forth. i know i'll have alot of crafting to do, which is why i'm starting so soon. but every time they say something negative i feel dumpy. FMI is just as excited as i am (her first son to marry). and i just wish my family would be supportive. i dont want to freak last minute because i didn't think of something. i do alot of my weddign planing in private because it really bothers me when i get negative comments. good thing i can cry to FH.
Ladie Victoria <email>
Peoria, AZ Friday, April 25, 2003
A friend of mine I thought I wanted in my Bridal Party changed before my eyes from a thoughtful and sensative GF into a materialistic yuppie when I got engaged. I found out she was to be the MOH for her best friend, but they stopped speaking before the ceremony. She never showed up. She never said, "hey, I'm not doing it," Nothing. And they didn't talk for many years.
I wanted her to be a part of the ceremony. We'd had some recent tense moments, but I decided that I wanted her to do a reading. *Something.*
Her work schedule picked up and she didn't get back to me on some social situations I created so I could talk to her f2f. She couldn't (wouldn't?) commit. For the last 4 months, I've been in wedding-overdrive, so I haven't contacted *anyone*. I've just been working and wedding organizing. Every kind person that I've gained as a friend in the *last year alone* has come by and said, "hey, lemme help." But, she can't bother to contact me (not RSVPing to my shower at all, not even saying she was sorry she couldn't attend, not even a well-wishes card). So, I asked to meet with her after the shower and she and I couldn't mesh schedules. Her weekends were booked, apparently. Including the weekend for my bachelorette party.
My confession: I chose not to extend a bachelorette party invitation to her. My wedding is this weekend and I still haven't talked to her. I could pick up the phone and talk to her, but I'm so emotionally drained from family sh*t I don't want to deal with it. My friends tell me she's written me off, I don't want to flush 10 years of friendship down the drain! I secretly hope she doesn't come to the wedding. I'd like her to show her up by having her enjoy our killer reception, but I know she'd pick apart what she thinks is "tacky" and that would wound me.
Thursday, April 24, 2003
Poll: Should you tell your bridesmaids what's expected of them? I feel like LA bride but don't want to hurt any feelings. Our wedding is in England and I know that it's a struggle for my bridesmaids to even make it to that. But I'm a bride, damnit and bridesmaids should remember that their job is to call often and listen to the bride complain and/or gush and that their job is to make sure that the bride feels happy and wanted and at least they should remember events like showers. People can be so self involved.
Marrying a Brit
Thursday, April 24, 2003
My bridesmaids live far away and can't make it to any events. No big deal, but I think they've forgotten about me. Just because you can't make it to a shower doesn't mean that you don't send a gift!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 24, 2003
My mom's two best friends got married to eachother last year - they had been living together for quite some time and finally decided to "tie the knot." I was really happy for them, and my FH (then BF) and I bought them one of their gift registry items for about $150. I was glad to do it, as I have been close with this couple for quite some time. Now just recently, we recieved our RSVP back from them about our wedding, and they said they couldn't come. That was fine, but what irked me, was that they sent $75 cash with the card. He is a doctor, she is a teacher, and they both owned their own homes before they married. So, I took the cash, threw out the card, and plan to call them in 3 weeks when the RSVP date expires to ask if they are coming. "I didn't recieve anything in the mail" I will tell them. Serves them right!
Thursday, April 24, 2003
Ok I don't really think I'm better than anyone but my oldest friend is getting married 6 weeks before me. I was engaged first and was planning a wedding for may when she went and scheduled hers for 3 weeks later. Fortunatly due to vendor problems I changed my date to later in the year. Here's the part that makes me go "I'm so much better". I just got her invitation (which was address to my FH only - she only knows him through me). They were ugly and tacky. I'm so embarassed for her. They couldn't even be bothered to change their printer cartardge so the print would be clear. I know I'm mean (don't worry I would only confess this here)
I'm so much better
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
The whole reason I wanted to elope was to avoid dealing with my family. Plus, all of his family is on the east coast, mine is in Minnesota, and the two of us live in LA. It's a logistical nightmare. Unfortunately, he still wanted the big wedding. Our compromise? We're getting married on Maui with a small contingent of immediate family members. Since neither of my brothers is interested in coming (it's too much hassle for them), my mom will be my only family member at my wedding. Also note that neither family has met the other. The problem is that I am stuck in LA while my mom holds me hostage by refusing to buy herself a nice dress for the ceremony. I've sent her $$, I've sent her style #s on websites... Her response? She's already got the perfect dress. She sent me a photo of a cotton sweatshirt-like monstrocity that doesn't fit her and makes her look dumpy. I've explained that all the men will be in tuxedos. I've asked if she doesn't want to fit in better with the formal style. His family is so awesome and has such good taste, that she's going to look like Daisy May fresh off the farm even though she herself can afford a reasonably nice dress. Her argument is that her dress selection is dressy enough and is a perfect color match for my color scheme. She won't budge and I can't physically get at her, nor can I appeal to her in any way. I swear! I'm going to have to fly home and handhold her all the way to a store and back, and then bring the dress to Maui myself. (She's just the type that would leave it behind.) Of course, as soon as I board the plane, I'll die of SARS and miss my wedding day altogether!! Who ever heard of a bride having to fly 2000 miles just to get her mother to buy a nice dress for the ceremony? I don't have the tears left!
Stuck in LA & Held Hostage by Mom
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
aughhh! i hate my family! for any of you asian bridezillas out there (or anyone with just an unhealthily too close family) can probably relate to me! i have a HUGE extended family, which means that if i was to have my wedding here I would probably have 400 guests and could only afford a church in the ghetto, half of a wedding ceremony, lovely reception in some bowling alley with a dinner of rubber chicken, stale vegetables, apple cider, no bar, and a honeymoon in reno nevada (yuck). or my fiance and i could spend $40,000 on some cathedral and a huge recepetion in some fancy shmancy hotel and still not afford a honeymoon. Either way, we would be stuck with a wedding we didn't want with a bunch of guests that i CAN"T EVEN STAND!!!!! So my honey and I talked about it and we both agreed that we wanted to have a beautiful wedding, reception, and honeymoon that we could enjoy and afford. So we agreed to have the wedding, reception, and honeymoon in Hawaii. That way, we could cut our guest lists (anyone who really loved us and wanted to make the effort to go would go) and we could save lots of money. Our guest list has gone down from 400 to 25 people and we are only spending around $4000 for a wedding ceremony in a garden, and a beautiful luau style reception in a tent. So what's the problem?? My huge extended family!! They are taking is so personally that I am not getting married in the bay area,like its' some personal attack on them. No one has bothered to say congratulations or anything remotely positive, except,"Oh, she's getting married in hawaii so we can't go!" Well, if they are too cheap to go, then it's not my problem they can't go. My father is a gullible naive kind of guy and is developing ulcers because his sisters are telling him that it's proper wedding ettiquette that they pay for their tickets and my grandfather is mentally beating my mother over the fact that it's so disrespectful that I am having my wedding in hawaii where no one can attend. My future mother in-law really wanted to give us a simple reception when we come back home so people who couldn't make it to the wedding could celebrate with us. Well, nice gesture but screw that! My stupid family doesn't deserve anything but my middle finger. I don't understand what there problem is. They aren't the ones paying for my wedding. I AM! And if they can't be happy for me, they should just but the hell out!!!
Going Bridezilla <email>
Sunday, April 20, 2003
My future mother-in law are not getting along. The other day when i was chopping food for dinner for me and her drunk son......she tells me that for the wedding she bought us a blender! As she tells me this she reaches over and tries to grab a piece of the food Im preparing and I just swung that butcher knife as hard as i could and cut off her two smallest fingers! Sure I was wrong....but that bitch had it coming! Next person to fuck with me ..I will get my gun.
Sunday, April 20, 2003
I often frequent the chat boards at www.theknot.com and feel quite superior to almost everyone on there since my wedding is just around the corner and everything is going wonderfully!! So far I feel I have completely managed to NOT be a bridezilla and my attitude is resulting in the best time of my life! No fights with in-laws, no struggles with parents regarding budget, no bridal party drama and minimum stress. I rock!
NOT Bridezilla and proud of it!
Saturday, April 19, 2003
I am getting married in less than a month. My fiance and I have been together for three years and along the way have cut ties with a few friends who were'nt great- as any normal person would. Well one of these " friends" was pretty much head over heels for my fiance. We decided that not hanging around her any more would be the best thing given the circumstances. This was over a year ago-- and now I'm hearing through the grapevine that she's planning on coming to my wedding, and objecting to our marriage b/c I " stole her soulmate/best friend away from her" and that I'm " not letting him get away from me, he's trapped, he doesn't really want to be with me , etc." She said the sole reason she wants to go is to ruin my day. This chick is a complete psycho and I would not put it past her to show up and cause a scene--she's that obsessed. In communicating my fears to my honey of a fiance, he just made some joke about how it's too bad for me that he's so irresistable, that everry girl wants him and I have to just deal with it. Hello?! I'm ready to scream!!! Hopefully we can avoid the situation with the fully informed ushers......
Friday, April 18, 2003
Okay, so after 10 months of planning and no imput or comments from the Moms I figure with 3 weeks to go I am home free, right? Wrong! Suddenly his mother decides she needs to invite 5 couples who my FH doesn't even remember and who's names she won't give us. She just wants blank invites. AARRGH! We told her NO. Worst thing is she and one of FHs siblings have whined enough at me that I cave to the pressure and pester my Mom to try to wear something she doesn't want to wear. My parents are comming from an event and were going to change into jeans -- now Mom is going to wear a sundress, but I feel horrible as I was originally just happy she was able to make the wedding. Bad Bride; bad, bad, bad Bride!
Dallas, TX Friday, April 18, 2003
i am really annoyed with one of my bridesmaids. first i cant talk to her about my wedding coz she got married really young and regrets it and just coz im saving my money to afford a nice wedding she gets upset coz ill have a nicer wedding than she did.
second we went out shopping for briedsmaids dresses and she spent the whole time trying to find the cheapest dress in the shop so it wouldnt be too expensive for me to buy for her. and she wanted to wear velvet as well! the weddings in june itd be too hot. she picked out one dress that was really skanky a tube with the back cut so low you could see her @$$! the other bridesmaid and me told her no. so she gets her dress which is really nice and she looks lovely in it and i made sure she can wear it again and it doent look like a bms dress and it cost me over $300! which i pay and later she offers me $50 to help and tells me that shell give it back after the wedding so i can sell it! like thatll help!
i got really upset coz she insults me by saying that i cant afford to buy nice dresses for my bms and if she was that worried about costing so much then she shoulda offered to pay more!
i am v stressed coz money is tight coz were paying for everythin ourselves and i cut cornerd to save up for my wedding coz i wanted it to be really good. i want my bms to look good and be happy with there dresses so id on't mind paying for them. but she really upset me by talking about the price so much. specialy coz she earn more than i do!
now shes planning the bachelorette party. i told her what i wanted to do go out and get nail art done and beuaty things and she come back and says that a friend of hers who i know is really good at painting nails. hello? i want nail art done not just my nails painted and that friend isnt a close frind to me enough to be invited to the party anyway.
im worried that shes going to hold the party in her house that means i cant drink at my own party coz ill have to drive home or get a taxi or somethin or ill have to fight with all her friends shes invited for space on the floor to sleep.
she promised to make a quilt for us as a wedding present but says she wont start work on it until a year after the wedding in case we break up!
her husband is part of the groomsmen and she spends more time fussing over what hes going to wear than asking me about my dress or planning or anythin
she keeps on saying how fat she is and that makes me feel really horrible coz shes not fat and i am at least 30lb heavier than her but she just says it to get attention. shes getting more attenituion in theis wedding than iam!
i want to fire her but i cant. shes really nice most of the time but doesnt realize when she says things that hurt. i can usually laugh it off but the stress means that i cant now.
so thats why i had to confess
annoyed at bridesmaid
Thursday, April 17, 2003
Two weeks before the wedding a guest, not a close friend, e-mailed me that she had met a new Man and could she bring him along to the wedding (!). I e-mailed back that we were keeping it small, so sorry etc. she e-mailed again saying what if she brings him but only drinks half as much as she usually would? (!!) There was nothing to do but say OK and mentally roll my eyes. The punchline? Seven days before the wedding I called her and said did she know if he were coming as I had to give final numbers to the caterer. She confessed she hadn't got around to asking him, so I said, what a pity, I guess it's too late!
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
I got married a few years ago but this has been bothering me ever since. I paid for my bridemaids to have thier hair done at an upscale salon. Hair styling was optional and they could do whatever they wanted. One BM--who had been an absolute pain during the planning--was seated next to me while we were both having our hair done and was making faces at me the whole time to express her displeasure with her chosen hairstyle. I spent $50.00 on her style and did she do? She took her hair down in the car while I was driving us all to my parents' house so we could get dressed. Excuse me? I let you pick your own &*?$! style AND I pay for it and all you can do is complain about it to me on MY wedding day and waste my hard-earned money. Still makes me mad.
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
I'm secretly, selfishly wanting all of the attention on me&him; on our wedding day. We're paying for everything, which is making life tight, but at least we have total control. Seems like EVERYONE has a suggestion and at least two criticisms. My Mom keeps saying how she wants everyone to be "WOW"ed when she comes down the aisle. Has she forgotten she's walking me, THE BRIDE, down the aisle? I am not normally like this, but I want to say to her that the people should be looking at me. Also, my sister (MOH) has ordered and returned like three pairs of shoes already, like she's looking for THE perfect pair. I haven't even tried on shoes yet, so I think she's trying to somehow steal my spotlight. I'm feeling like a Bridezilla and a Brat for resenting everyone's suggestions as attempts to steal part of our day.
knitting the stress away...
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
Things are crazy between my fiance's family and me. Everyone here at goingbridal just think about me and keep me and my sweetheart of a fiance in your prayers. Maybe after the wedding in June I will come back and post my horror stories (emphasis on the ies!!) for you all to cringe over.
And before I do anything, I reserve the right to go bride-zilla if his parents so much as make one more PEEP about our wedding plans. They haven't shown any interest in it for the past three years, I'm not about to let them start dictating it now.
Oh, and Sara, I hope all is going better with you, keep your chin up and God bless you! Sometimes we need all the support we can get (and right now, I need it as well!)
Help! I may turn into a RAGING BrideZilla! <email>
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
The going joke was that my fiance was actually the bride at our wedding. He's the one who wanted the reasonably big, formal affair (I wanted to elope), so I told him that if he wanted it, he had to plan most of it. I took charge of some things, like flowers, just because I didn't trust his taste.
I vetoed quite of few bridezilla-like suggestions of his, most of which involved trying to have every member of our immediate and extended families participate in the ceremony, even when I knew they either didn't want to or probably wouldn't actually be there. He had to listen to a lot of people tell him no, unfortunately, mostly on his side of the family.
One suggestion I gave in to, only because it wasn't worth fighting over after a while. He was going through a very "by the Book" religious phase at the time, and he insisted that on the back of our program, we list websites and other resources for anyone who was interested in finding out more about our particular faith. Everyone who mentioned the program notes to me, of our religion or not (and we had a very mixed bag of friends at our wedding), thought it was weird. At least that was the scaled-back version: he wanted a line-by-line scriptural-origins accounting of every step in the entire service printed in the program. I only won that argument because it would have made the programs a ridiculous length, even in tiny type.
Monday, April 14, 2003
I don't think I've really done anything terribly bridezilla, unless you count inflicting my (lacto-ovo, non-picky) vegetarian preferences on people for the 2 whole meals they'll have to eat for the wedding. So we're doing Italian food for the reception; we live in Texas, so we thought Tex-Mex would be a nice change of pace for the rehearsal dinner for out-of-town relatives. The problem is my mother. She hates spicy food. She won't even cook with black pepper -- THAT'S too spicy for her.
So I keep telling her that the cheese enchiladas won't be spicy at all, and since we're vegetarians, "American" food doesn't work for us. They would like Asian or Indian food even less than Tex-Mex. So mom's response? "I don't understand why you're not having the rehearsal dinner at IHOP." IHOP. IHOP?!? She has brought this up repeatedly, whenever the subject of rehearsal dinner is mentioned.
I'm just.on.the.verge of calling my own mother a cheap redneck.
Sunday, April 13, 2003
My gramma bought my a 550 dollar staitonary mixer. I registered for it in RED. she bought it in WHITE. i am SO pissed off at her!!!!!!! she said i would 'outgrow' red and that if she was gonna spend the money she was getting me white. its not your mixer, lady, its MINE!
Sunday, April 13, 2003
i asked my mother to buy m&;m's in my wedding colors. i then asked her if she would mind counting them out so there were equal amounts of each color in each candy dish......needless to say my request drew hysterical laughter.
Sunday, April 13, 2003
the other day my future mother-in law came over in her new Lexus and was talking smack how she doesnt have enough money and that she was only going to give us a $100.00! I Said "YOU FILTHY BITCH I AM MARRY YOUR JACKASS SON AND YOU WANT TO GIVE ME 100.00!" Then i went outside and jumped on the roof of that "new" car and caved the whole thing in! Im 300lbs too. The next week she told me that is was $3,300 to fix it. I told her to get out of my trailer "you cheap bitch". Next time come up with some cash.
Friday, April 11, 2003
I don't have some tragic story, but rather a story that use to have been in the movies. The story is romantic, and something that you never hear anymore. My husband and I eloped. We had been talking about marriage for the past two years. My dh is in the air force, and we got married right before he deployed. I love him so much, and he is away. We went to the court house which had this beautiful little chapel. I told my mom, and she was the only person who knew. She was my witness. I have my grandmother's rings, and I am honored to have them. I never got to meet her, she passed away when I was little. We plan on having a ceremony later on. We will start planning when he comes back. I just want a small wedding. A few bridemaids. I don't care about the small details. I just want every one hear our vows for one another. I look forward to saying my vows for every one to hear.
I'm not taking crap from anyone. It's not about anyone, but my husband and I. I will keep it that way. All you ladies out there good luck with planning, and congratulations!!! I thought you may want to hear that story.
Thursday, April 10, 2003
The best man asked who payed for travel expenses (he lives in fl we live in oh). I told him it was his responsibility. He payed. Ah ha ha ha ha!
Powell, OH Thursday, April 10, 2003
Okay, so I'm not the bride in this situation, but one of my best friends is going out of her mind. She sent out 120 wedding invitations, and so far it looks like about 240 people are going to show up. Yes, there have been a few regrets, but the problem is that some of her relatives are RSVPing with the names of their grown and out of the house children and their dates. The reception hall has a capacity for 200 people, but they have had 250 before. The overflow winds up in the bar area. She's so mad because she knows that her friends will be the ones in the bar! Her mother told her that she should just smile because she'll get more gifts. That's not what her wedding is about AND these families will most likely only bring one gift.
Oh! and her FFIL made the reservations for the rehearsal dinner at a very nice restaurant and pre-ordered prime rib dinners for everyone. The bride is a vegetarian! Fortunately, her FMIL stepped in and argued with the manager to get them to offer an alternative.
Friend of Stressed Out Bride
Thursday, April 10, 2003
Ok....I have 6 bridesmaid and some of them are complaining about the dresses, the color, the style, and the price. I am not getting married until next year and I am about ready to kill them. My mother thinks that I am going to plan a tackey wedding with the colors I have picked out and to top it all off the mother of the groom thinks that only the wedding party should be invited to the reherseal dinner. I don't think that I can take this stress.
Thursday, April 10, 2003
I have a new confession that, I'm afraid, puts me fully into the realm of Zilla. (Previously I was being called one mostly undeservedly) Well no one seems to comprehend that we're having a nicer-than-just-cake-and-punch reception. As in, we're hiring a DJ, providing desserts galore (It's a sweets fest) and going all out to have a really wonderful party. And people are still acting surprised when we say things like "We're ahving trouble getting the chocolate covered strawberries" They want to know... WHAT chocolate covered strawberries... isn't it jsut going to be cake and punch? I snapped my mothers head nearly off the other afternoon when she asked if it was REALLY necessary to have centerpieces at a cake and punch wedding. The FMIL acted surprised when she found out there would be pastries, chocolates and fruit/cheese. HELLO? Havn't we been saying for the PAST SIX MONTHS that this was going to be a very upscale dessert reception? We could have had a sit down dinner for the cost of our dessert reception, but we chose to go with sweets because we love sweets. (And we didn't want to go second best on anything and we'd have had to cut the guest list or had a smaller meal than we wanted- We have 250 invited.) I'm about ready to scream at all of them.. and have finally resolved to go to plan B. Plan B involves taking the 3foot by 4ftt roll up dry erase mat I've been planning this monster reception on and presenting it to the mothers. I've planned everything from the silver to the truffles, and if I hear it demeaned as JUST A CAKE AND PUNCH RECEPTION one more time... I'm going to eat someone. If I wanted a quickie cake and punch reception... I certainly wouldn't have spent 6 months planning it.. and I certainyl wouldn't be spending as much as we're spending on it! I'm going to be royally pissed off if they pass the word along that it's "Just a cake and punch" and the rest of the guests don't know what to expect.
Just another cake and punch bride. <email>
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
I have recently fallen off my proverbial engagement pedestool upon realizing how expensive it is to plan a wedding! My fiance and I decided a house was more important and told my parents that we were going to go to Vegas. They did NOT lilke it. So I said, and you'll excuse the pun, ante up then! You want a wedding. You pay for a wedding!
Vegas or Bust!
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
We just wanted something simple. We are getting something huge. We got a beautiful location of a family-owned B&;B, horse and buggy, I got the dress of my dreams, amazing looking rings, lovely invites and favors, we both have wonderful family, super wedding party people, We love each other SOOO much, cool tuxes...YET...we're just exhausted and ready for our honeymoon to Catalina. People keep asking me if I'm excited about it yet, I mean, it's next month. But not really....just praying it doesn't rain to wash out this outdoor garden party and move on with the rest of our lives. It'll probably be a blur for us and a lovely afternoon for everyone else to enjoy. I hope it turns out ok...but hey...if it doesn't...it'll just be a funny story to tell our grandkids one day!!
To all the future Brides of the world...I wish you sunny days and prozac!
Simple is better
NC Tuesday, April 08, 2003
I asked my 3 best friends to stand up for me - MOH is wicked, BM1 is pretty great, and BM2 is a pain in the A**! Picking dresses was aweful because of BM2, and now she is on to other things -the accessories...the hair...grrrr! Let me say it loud and clear - THIS IS MY WEDDING NOT YOURS! I am hoping she will ask for something outrageous so I can really let her have it. Then, maybe she will throw a tantrum and say "fine then, maybe I won't be your BM" to which I will reply "Great!"
She's not the friend I thought she was...
TB, ON Tuesday, April 08, 2003
My family is giving me and my love the wedding of our (ok...my) dreams. Other than having to tell each family to cut their list in half (and we're still having over 200 people) everyone has been fabulous. I got my dream dress, my dream band, my dream location and my dream rings. Our parents love each other and our guests are travelling far to come to the wedding. And, the groom is the love of my life. So what's my confession??? After getting through the majority of the planning for next month's wedding, I've realized that what I really want is to elope.
Monday, April 07, 2003
I've been charged with being a bridezilla, and I can't figure out why. I'm pretty much letting everyone have their way. My only stipulation is once you've told me what you want, A) you aren't allowed to change your mind, and B) you need to give me the necessary information to do it.
You see, I do banquets and conferences for a living. I know how to do this like a pro and I like getting things arranged fast!
Well, people who picked out their own bridesmaids gowns grouse because their actually expected to pay for them and get me their measurements. Honeybunch picked out a $3500 wedding band and then told me he'd be mad if I paid more than 800. Mommy-dearest won't talk to me about anything non-wedding related and then complained that I'm making this about me (um, it is kind of...well, me and my hubby). FMIL does nothing but complain about my wedding plans, but isn't exactly helping financially or otherwise. Actually, all she does is berate me and he son. and so on...
And...throughout all this, I'm managing...I paid for my bridesmaids dresses ($300 each). I got their measurements myself. I found a jewler that'll make a copy of the ring for 750. I ignore mommy. I ignore future mommy....
And I'm a bridezilla?!?!?
framed bridezilla <email>
a place, DC Monday, April 07, 2003
I had my wedding over a year ago-- HALF of the final RSVP's didn't bother to show for the CATERED SIT-DOWN LUNCH because of a championship basketball game. I have yet to speak to any of those people and have often contemplated sending them each a bill for the meal they never showed up to eat. (Not to mention smack them on the hand for the TERRIBLY BAD MANNERS they displayed).
Monday, April 07, 2003
I just have to mention that I have
read that some of the Bridezilla's are getting all stressed about how
many people at the wedding - one girl said she is having 70 and she thought that that was alot, another 100, 120, 180...has anyone broke the 200 guest list mark? I ask this 'cause how can you be stressed if it is that many people? Try 350! Yes, 350! And it could be more cause of friends but I am capping it at 375! You guys want to talk stress - because of the large guest list - and 300 is just family (and no, not extended). I was limited to only one venue to host my event, I can't have the favors or centerpieces that I want because it would be too damn expensive. I wish that I could say that I am having 100 people attend my wedding.....
Big Fat Portuguese Wedding
Monday, April 07, 2003
I secretly want my Sister in law's wedding to be horrible. She did absolutely nothing for my planning and i have done so much more for her. She's marrying a freak, so I laugh about that, but what I really want is RAIN, and lots of it!
Sunday, April 06, 2003
To Future Sister of a cop out bridesmaid-
I think Bachelorette parties fall out of the realm of etiquette so I say have your own. Call all of your girlfriends in the area and tell them the date and place and that you're going out for a night on the town to celebrate! If you go out, then people pay their own way and you don't have to "host". You DO deserve a night out if that's what you want!!!!
Saturday, April 05, 2003
My man was gung ho and now is lukewarm...I am sending him packing with my daily wedding updates and questions. And he just wants to have sex and not worry about things, but how can you not worry?!? 180 people and plans and, now he's questioning things? I was born Bridezilla...I've been collecting magazines since I was 13! Can't he share in my planning and fun? grrr.
Suburban bride wanna-be
Friday, April 04, 2003
OK, so at first I thought the ideas of wedding showers and bachelorette parties were absolutely repulsive and outdated. But now that I'm getting close to the wedding, I'm kind of jiving on them. After all the work my fiancee and I put into this thing, it's nice to have someone throw you a party you DON'T have to plan yourself. But here's the thing - my future sister-in-law and bridesmaid has just announced that a bachelorette party just "isn't going to happen." We're two months away from the wedding, weekends are tight, and my other two bridesmaids don't have the skills or the time to plan this thing, so I was kind of counting on my future sis-in-law. I'm pissed because I've been such a non-Brideszilla up to this point - I mean, the bridesmaid dresses only cost $40 and my dress cost $100, and I'm making sure nobody feels like they "owe" us presents. So c'mon, for being so nice, don't I deserve a big night out with my most best gal pals? Grr!
Future sister of a cop-out bridesmaid
Thursday, April 03, 2003
I have been hoarding all my Martha Stewart Wedding magazines and periodicly go thru them like they were scripture. I am going crazy wanting the next one to come out!
martha martha martha
Thursday, April 03, 2003
I'm obsessed with wedding sites. I get the magazines, books, whatever. But I'm not even engaged! I just started dating someone recently who I feel very strongly about and I'm worried he's going to think I'm a psycho-nut job for being so fascinated with wedding plans. I think I have some issues.
Tuesday, April 01, 2003
I am the MOH for my bestest friend of 24 years. I don't want any of the other bridesmaids to be in the wedding, and there are four of them. can't stand any of them!
Maid of Honorzilla
Monday, March 31, 2003
We just sent the invites, I'm ***hoping*** several people can't come since the guest is at its absolute maximum- 270
Monday, March 31, 2003
I'm throwing a bridal shower for a friend of mine in June and standing up in her wedding a month later (6 weeks before my wedding). The shower is out of town for me (not an easy thing to plan)I don't mind doing it. What I do mind is that nobody has offered to through a shower for me. NOBODY. It's not fair. Every keeps telling me how excited they are about the wedding but nobody wants to through a shower for me. My FH's brother is throughing him a batchlor (sp) party. What's wrong with me? I thought I had some really good friends. Guess I'm all alone in this wedding thing (well except for FH - he's been really good helping plan). Dammit I want a shower!!!!!!!!
Wanna through a temper tantrum
Monday, March 31, 2003
I have been doing all my wedding stuff at work: especially if I need to type out things in nice script to make it look fancy. Hey, I am a secretary and I know my way around the computer; its crazy that I should have to pay a calligrapher to all this when I can do it myself. Before this is all done, I will have my menus, table numbers and place cards all printed from my work computer because it has nicer and has more regal script fonts than my own home computer. Yeah, just put the white fancy cardstock in the printer or copier and print away - co-workers think you are actually working. Sure, I sometimes feel guilty, but I got so much crap to do and plan that you can bet your ass that if I have time at work I am gonna use that time to plan my wedding!
Monday, March 31, 2003
I'm a trollon Indiebride because I'm bored and those girls are so easy to rile up!
Friday, March 28, 2003
I bought a new dress today and put my ugly one on eBay. I can't afford it at all so I hope the other one sells.
Friday, March 28, 2003
So I just had a bridesmaid drop out. She said the dress was too expensive. My sister picked it, so it's not my fault, right? I lied and said I wouldn't replace her with another girl. The truth is, my fiance said he only wanted to have 4 attendants and I already asked 5 plus my mom really didn't like this girl.
Friday, March 28, 2003
Ok, here is my confession: I hate weddings. In hate all this stuff that I have been going through planning my wedding. Neither my fiance nor I wanted to have a formal wedding and reception, but we just had to MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY, so we are shelling out tons of money to have this big event that we don't want in the first place. The most irritating part of this whole thing is that even though we are doing this for everyone else, no one is helping us! The little details are the worst part of it. No one can seem to understand why I have a huge list of things to do, because we can always run and get things done the day before, right? WRONG!! I don't want to spend the day before my wedding running around like a crazy person! I would rather have everything organized so I don't forget anything (which I know I will anyway). But at least I won't have a full melt down the day before like every other bride I know. Aaargh! I told my fiance that I only plan on doing this once and he said "Good"! Of course after I said that I realized how it came out! :) Oh well, you have to keep a good sense of humor so you don't hurt anybody!
Wedding Blues <email>
Friday, March 28, 2003
Dear Should I. I was engaged about 5 years ago. I found myself thinking like you are and wondering if I should get married to this guy or not. The thing that finally tipped me off was that I tried on nearly 100 wedding dresses and I couldn't find the "right" one. It wasn't until the wedding got closer that I realized I couldn't find the "right" dress because it wasn't the "right" guy. There is no shame in canceling an engagement. I have three good friends that wished they had canceled their wedding because they are now divorced. Marriage doesn't change someone, so if you are having real problems with his behavior (like I was with my ex-fiance) then you have to figure out if you can live with that behavior for the rest of your life. Five years after my breakup I am now engaged to someone that I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with.
Uh Oh-Sounds Familiar
Friday, March 28, 2003
I hate my mother. She has major hangups about me getting married again. She is not over my divorce, which is insane since she didn't like my ex to begin with! But somehow I'm damaged goods and I have embarassed her by being divorced and daring getting married to someone who makes me happy! She keeps saying mean things like "Is this your last wedding dress?" "Should I bother to get attached to this one?"
Hell NO because I'm going to leave you in a swamp bog to be devoured by slime eels!!!!
Thursday, March 27, 2003
well my man goes out every weekend and gets drunk. He comes home and calls me at 3:00 a.m. His family is always defending him saying "He is a man, thats normal" Well shit to me its not normal. I am having second thoughts but he thinks we are to close to the wedding and that i wont ever leave him! Should I?
Fresno , CA Thursday, March 27, 2003
My mother is a control nut and has already started planning the wedding I will have. I just started dating someone I wouldn't necessarily MIND marrying, but we've been together a month. She lives across the country and has a fairly large, nice backyard with a gazebo in the back that she found out was used by the original owners to marry off their 2 daughters. Now she feels that this is "destiny" and I will be married in the same backyard. I live in California and she lives on the east coast, and I'd much rather be married on the west coast with all my friends and future fiancee's family (even though he's still just my very new BF...gosh, my mom's got me thinking in such future terms.) I practice saying "This is not your show" in the mirror, because I know I'm going to have to say that if and when I ever do get proposed to. Ugh, its going to hurt her, but honestly...it's not her show, now, is it.
Gazebos are over 3,000 miles away...
Whittier, CA Wednesday, March 26, 2003
My mother is a control nut and has already started planning the wedding I will have. I just started dating someone I wouldn't necessarily MIND dating, but we've been together a month. She lives across the country and has a fairly large, nice backyard with a gazebo in the back that she found out was used by the original owners to marry off their 2 daughters. Now she feels that this is "destiny" and I will be married in the same backyard. I live in California and she lives on the east coast, and I'd much rather be married on the west coast with all my friends and future fiancee's family (even though he's still just my very new BF...gosh, my mom's got me thinking in such future terms.) I practice saying "This is not your show" in the mirror, because I know I'm going to have to say that if and when I ever do get proposed to. Ugh, its going to hurt her, but honestly...it's not her show, now, is it.
Gazebos are over 3,000 miles away...
Whittier, CA Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Arrrgh!!! Okay... still not engaged...Dad's fiance and Dad won't tell me what song they want at their wedding... I don't know what they want! I will end up singing "Love Stinks" if they don't figure something out! Not really... but I can't decide for them, because it's their wedding. As for my own plans, I can't even get started because b/f won't get the ring sized... or maybe he's just not telling me when he did it or whatever. I hate surprizes... and our anniversary and V-day have just passed... perfect opportunities for a proposal, but NO. Ahh, I feel better.
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
My mom has been going through some tough times with work and my grandma. She's 56 and still working full-time, my dad just retired, and his consulting business isn't going very well so far.
My mom offers to help with the wedding, then she has a breakdown and won't help for a month.
I'm guilty of being angry at her for having problems when it's supposed to be MY time...
I love my mom.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
I went dress shopping with my mom. This is my FIRST wedding. Take note however, that my mom is a retired house wife and that I am 33 years old and make more money in a year, then she probably did all her life.
Well, my mom wanted to buy my wedding dress for me. I was very grateful but was concerned in that, I didn't want her to spend alot of money, BUT also, I didn't want to feel as though I would be limited in my selection.
We went to David's Bridal because there dresses were less expensive. She picked one out that was nice and wanted to buy it for me which she did. A few days later, I ended up regretting the purchase and the dress.
Here is my confession. I went back to David's two times, each time trying to find a dress that I liked or that was suitable and as beautiful as the dresses that I had seen in other "non-chain" bridal stores. After agonizing over this for 4 months, and feeling OBLIGATED to stay at David's Bridal....I finally decided I need to be happy and that on my wedding day, I did not want to be regretting that I didn't get the dress I would have chosen on my own. To get around some of the problem,....I spoke to my mom and said that I had found another dress at David's and that, although I had appreciated her help, I wanted her to know that I wanted to exchange it. I assured her that it was not costing any more than the original dress.
My mom grew up in tough times, and never had the luxury of being able to make a decision NOT based on a budget. I knew she would have not understood if I had purchased a more expensive dress from another place. The money issue would have upset her and did not want her to feel obligated about paying the difference or feeling as though she wasted her money. Luckily, David's gave me a credit that I used to buy my 2 flower girl dresses for my neices (which I had to do anyways) and other wedding accessories (shoes, stockings, bra).
My confession is that I have chosen not to tell my mom that the dress came from another store, or that it was twice the amount! There is a good possibility that she will know however, because visibly, it is obvious that the quality of the satin and crystals on the new dress from the other store are unsurpassed.
Tricia / Pressured at David's
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
I hate my cheap, shitty, made-in-Hong-Kong dress and I'm going to buy a new one and not tell anyone.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
My FMIL is a frumpy farm wife with no taste who spends her weekends quilting and doing embroidery. She wants ham sandwiches and potato salad for our special day. She reserved the local gun club for our rehearsal dinner.
My FFIL invited 15 of his nasty fat old burping chewing farting friends to the wedding while I'm trying to cut my own family so my parents (who are paying for half the damned wedding!) won't have such an expense.
I might kill them both before October.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
I spend no less than 4 hours a day at work reading bridal forums and surfing for wedding ideas. I haven't planned a single stitch of the wedding from my home computer and I feel so burned out about the planning by Friday night, I don't even want to think about it on the weekends--when my fiance is around.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
I meant "from" not "for"
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
I think the best tone is always this bordeaux/ wine kind of red with a touch of pale pink to soften it. Have you tried mixing two lipsticks. Plus buy yourself a nice plain gloss ( Maybelline one is amazing) to put on top of it. Let me tell you too if you put some light beige in the center your lips will look spectacular
to Makeup Madness for Bridewannabe <email>
Madrid, Tuesday, March 25, 2003
Ok, I am going nuts. I have been everywhere and spoken to dozens of makeup artists (I am getting married in the morning, so I can't hire one) and I still can't find a decent lipstick that looks good for pictures. I keep hearing contradictions about what looks good in phots, etc. All I want is a freaking good shade of lipstick to wear! I am getting married in 7 weeks and if I can just get this one last stupid thing taken care of I can relax. Any suggestions?!
Monday, March 24, 2003
I wanted my dress altered cheap. it doesn't need anything but the bust taken in a little. i took it to a local dry cleaning place and they hacked it! it is so small i can't breath. not going back! they said they would fix it but it came back the same. cost of hack: $20. lesson to all. get your dress altered at the salon. it is worth it. don't be cheap!
Sunday, March 23, 2003
I spent more on my veil than on the pearl necklace I'm going to wear with my dress!
Thursday, March 20, 2003
I accepted the "resignation" of my very best friend (of 14 years)... She accepted the title "Maid of Honour" or whatever it would be, when I became engaged. But, when she found out the dress we tentatively chose didn't come in her size, she withdrew from the wedding party. I should have worked harder, to keep her in the wedding party. And, to understand that she might not have felt comfortable in a slim dress. =(
Bestfriendless At The Alter
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
Can I be a bridesmaid-zilla if I'm the one TRYING to get the bride to talk about the wedding? I've been told that my cousin's wedding, in which I'm supposed to be an attendant, is, in fact, taking place next month (good to know, since it's a 10-hour drive and I need to use vacation to be there). I've been told that I need only wear a nice dress out of my closet and figure out my own hair and makeup. I've been told that there will now be a reception following instead of a party in the summer, as originally expected. I've been told that another attendant is planning a shower between now and then. None of this information has come from the bride herself, even though I try to call or email her at least once a week...the only time we talk is when I catch her on the phone -- she doesn't return calls and now her email seems to be unavailable. And to top it all off, the bridezilla in me knows how pissed the family is about traveling 10 hours for my wedding this fall (yes, I was engaged first, and yes, our date was set first, and yes, I'm sick of thinking about that), and I'm worried that they'll whine about how I'm making them spend money and travel when she was able to throw together a perfectly convenient wedding in five months. I'd pout, but there's a flower girl dress in the room and I don't want it to get stained with bad feelings...
bridesmaid- AND bride-zilla
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
My sister had morphed over the last few weeks into the Bridezilla from hell. She's dealing with a lot of family stress factors and I feel sorry for her, but I'm ready to hand in my MOH resignation following her informing me that she would not allow my under two year-old son to be anywhere at the wedding site because she didn't want the wedding to be "about him". I'm quite certain she'll realize later this behavior is atrocious, but I'm still contemplating hiring an actess to send in my place.
Sinster667-Related to the Beast
CA Wednesday, March 19, 2003
I want a Moissanite (man made diamond) ring instead of a real one because I want it to be bigger than anyone elses!
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
I want my BF's FSIL's wedding to be a disaster because I completely dispise her. Her fiancee (BF's bro) has been engaged before and he couldn't go thru with it. I want him to dump her and her 'perfect day' will be ruined! She will have to move back in with her family in Hicksville because she has no job, no money of her own, no car, no place to live.
Go back to the country
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
I was wasted a few weeks ago after planning and dreaming away about my wedding this August. Suddenly, I found myself (in my head only! I've never told a single soul about this) imagining telling off every single person in my life; gathering them all together under this pretense of a wedding to tell each of them their shortcomings! Right before the vows and instead of saying "I do", saying the worst things I've ever imagined. Telling off my future father in law who I have despised all 7 years of knowing him, telling my future sister in law that she is a manipulator and on & on with each and every person I know! I couldn't believe myself and how evil I felt! Thank God I can't remember every exact feeling I had about each person especially my wonderful FH. A moment of insanity? I sure to hope so! Hence, I am staying stone cold sober for the wedding day and before! Whew! Feel much better confessing. I hope I can be forgiven but most of all forgive myself now!
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
I'm going to strangle my sister by the time this wedding is over. According to my family this makes me a bridezilla so I thought I'd come here and confess my sins. I didn't throw a fit when she pre-empted our engagement at 17 years old... when she knew we were getting engaged within the month.... and had only been with her darling for 6 months. I didn't throw a fit when she demanded a full year engagement- pushing our wedding date back as well. I dind't throw a fit when she changed her date to my date... I just took the earlier date. I didn't agree to move my date (again) when her fiancee was considering going into the army. I didn't object when she announced that she was only having friends as her bridal party- and let it be known subtly that I wasn't asked because I was so fat. (Silly twit. I lost 75 pounds this year and now I'm smaller than she is.) I didn't object when she decided to use the reception location I wanted... and after I commited elsewhere- cancled her reservations. I offered to pay for her airfare and lodging for our destination wedding straight out of our wedding budget. I told her it didn't matter when she bought the wedding dress that I loved. (And fortunetly found one that I love a hundred times more) I told her that I'd support her even though I had reservations about her wedding. I never said I told you so when she decided to postpone indeffinetly because "he isn't enough of an adult" for her tastes. I didn't say anything when she continued to plan her wedding even after indeffinate postponement... incorporating the ideas that I loved from my wedding and showing them off as her own. But I was called a bridezilla because I refuse... REFUSE to let her use the centerpieces- or centerpiece ideas that I have for my wedding. They said I was stressing out and -couldn't I see- she just wanted to share something with her big sister on her wedding day. So I'm a Zilla... not because of anything else I did.. but because I'm going to strangle her for making this planning time... that should have been mine... A time that I deserved... after 5 years with my fiancee before the engagement.... into a circus that's all about HER.
gonna strangle her <email>
Monday, March 17, 2003
Ok, i have to confess that i am an Argentinian and was teaching as a summer camp in Ft. Lauderdale Florida. Here, one of the guys teaching the guys started to give me signs that he wanted to be with me. He was black but a good looking black man. Had a very nice body and was very athletic. Didn't even give him the time of day since i was engaged and didn't want him to think wromg (like every man on the planet I'm sure all you ladies understand). A week went buy and we introduced ourselves and became friends. Not close friends, but we'd actually say hi to each other and stuff. I later found in him a sensitive, sweet, passionate, loving, caring wonderful soul. I started to see him and go out since my fiance is a very busy man in his profession (movie director). Romance, lust and many other feelings began overfuilling my everyday thoughts! I could'nt understand why when my fiance would call, i'd tell him that i was tired and then couldn't take my finger off the 1st # to dial this black man's number. This night after about 2 hours fiting with myself to decide if i'd call him or not. . .I DID! This was the most amazing night ever. He rented one of the most luxurious hotel rooms in the area and lit no less than 500 candles all around. I couldn't believe my eyes nor the speed at which my heart was racing. The candles were all ivory in color and there were rose petales all over the bed's silk sheets. He soflty touched my face and kissed me for the first time. As soon as his lips touched mines, i felt this burning desire i had not felt in a long time. He picked me up and carried me and soflty laid me on the bed. Openes a champainge bottle from 1990 and put on the slow sensual music of enigma. Everything was perfect. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Slowly walked back up to me at the pace of the music and gently kissed my shoulder so soflty that at the touch of his lips, my body would die to beg for more. Controlling myself he delicately took of my shoes and my skirt and then my shirt till i was only in my bra and panty. I felt embarrased but secure all at the same time. We made the best love i had ever made all night. Literally, this man is a stalion. So smoothe and yet so rough. I get goose bumps just invisioning and remembering this moment. The bad thing is that my fiance had called me at my appartment about 10 times and i didn't answer (obveously i was too busy). I being a smart ass turned off my cell phone. I had written down on a piece of paper the address of the hotel and the room we were meeting for a (supposedly) private, romantic dinner. I had completely forgoten the paper with the hotel address at home not remembering that my fiance had a key to my appartment. Worried because i didn't answer my phone, he showed up at my place and sees the paper and guess what!!!. . .Show's up at the hotel room, walks up to the door, knocks, my lover opens and sees him butt nacked and me lying on the bed butt nacked as well. He just turned around and walked away screaming "HOW COULD YOU!! HOW COULD YOU BITCH!" while myb heart feels terrible for this unjust acked i have just commited. I lost my fiance (don't really miss him). The fact that he was cold and not romantic doesn't justify what i've done. But i'm sure that it was a lesson for him. I'm still with thsi beautiful black man and all my dreams and desires (erotic desires too) are being fulfilles. Thank you Jake for comming into my life.
Monday, March 17, 2003
I can't stand my FMIL! She's pure evil disguise as a "well-meaning" MIL. She's a control freak who has made "suggestions" about the wedding since TWO WEEKS AFTER we were engaged. Meanwhile, her "suggestions" are totally tacky and I'm thinking, she either has the worst taste or she wants my wedding to look like Cheez Whiz. I've been totally nice to her, never laughed in her face (although I wanted to) or made rude comments (like, "I'd never be caught DEAD in that"), but now she's being BOSSY and RUDE to my family! I couldn't help but call her every name in the book to my FI, and said, "you better keep her away from me - for my own sanity and for the good of humanity." I'm so mad, I want to snub her at the rehearsal and every part of this wedding. We fight more about her than anything else about the wedding!
Boston, MA Monday, March 17, 2003
my best friend is engaged to a younger guy she met less than a year ago and she's bugging me to find out if I'm going to be in the country (I'll hopefully be working abroad when the wedding goes down), cause if I can't be there she'll need to find a replacement "2nd best" bridesmaid so the party will be an even number! Are wedding parties people who are important and you want to be a part of your day or just bodies to fill spots?! I hope I won't be around for the wedding, we're both still in college and I'm not ready to deal with all this wedding mania!
too young 4 this
MN Sunday, March 16, 2003
i have an email relationship with another guy, we've never met and we never will, FH knows about him but i still feel like a slut.
Sunday, March 16, 2003
I wasn't really proposed to. I tell people that we got engaged last year, but what really happened is that i twisted his arm and decided for him that we were ready to get married. We've been together for a really long time. It only took him about 4 more months to come around and buy me a ring and then he really proposed.
Sunday, March 16, 2003
i'm making my bridesmaids,groomsmen,mob,fmil,ffiland my dad wear navy blue so i'll stand out in all the pictures.
Sunday, March 16, 2003
I'm 22, and it feels like I've waited forever for this great guy to come along...and he's here and as of five days ago he proposed to me. This guy and I have only been dating five months, but it has been great. I am his first girlfriend, his first lover, etc. He is not mine. Along the way I have been with some real winners, all of whom have broken my heart in some way, mainly by lying and cheating. So now I the most innocent man I could possibly have and I keep worrying about him doing the same. The worrying has been happening since we started dating, but after he asked it went away. Until yesterday. He stayed with me night before last and we didn't get physical, and so yesterday I started to freak again. I guess I am a very physical person--i crave physical attention to feel love, and he is rather shy. So I know that it is unreasonable for me to worry. He is wonderful. He loves me. And he asked me to marry him in two years when we are both out of school, which he didn't have to do.....so why am I worrying??? I guess my confession is (first) that after he's given me what should be the ultimate assurance, I am still worrying and (second) that I already had a bridezilla moment when I asked his room mate to "put a bug in his ear" that a good birthday present would be a "real" engagement ring (the one i am wearing is just a $10 hemetite band that was his and he gave it to me cause he proposed spur of the moment.) He does not really have much income because his parents support him at school and all he works is work study. Ms. Manners forgive me for that one.
PA Sunday, March 16, 2003
i asked a friend to be a bridesmaid on a whim, but i'm moving soon and i don't think i'll ever talk to her again do you think she'll get the hint?
Saturday, March 15, 2003
I am a wedding planner planning my own wedding.I know it's like a surgein removing his own spleen, but...
Anyway I come across humorous sites like this and try to share them with my computer/ps2 addicted fiance ( the good news is he is a functioning addict) and he just shows no interest. I am also hand making all my stuff because I want everything specific to my "vision" We are having a medieval style ceremony. He gets frustrated and tells me that we ahve two years to get it all done. Well I'm the only one doing it and I need two yearas to work on all of it and since my credit is in the toilet thanks to and ex, I have to save the money for the services I havve to hire so that will also take time. Thank god the wedding isn't until 2005
not sure I want to anymore
Thursday, March 13, 2003
I can't believe how inconsiderate some of my relatives and friends are. I sent out invitations to 140 people and you all know how long addressing invitations take! About 64 people are attending the wedding. I had to call some people who didn't respond by mail. My pet peeve was that the people who aren't attending couldn't even bother to take a moment out of their busy lives to write a "Yea" or "Nay" in the "attending or not card" that I had enclosed with a self-addressed stamp envelope. I am a bit tiffed at these people and I now think of them in a different light, if you know what I mean! For Christmas, they are getting an Emily Post ettiquette book.
Emily Post-Where are you? <email>
orange county, ca Thursday, March 13, 2003
At work I bill my clients for 8 hour days when in fact I spend at least 6.5 of those hours on Ebay looking for a vintage, interracial wedding cake topper with the groom in a US Navy uniform.
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
FH and I have known each other for 6 yrs. I found out in October that his brother's sister in law was getting married Sept. 13th. We had been planning on Sept. 6th but were not engaged yet. When I found out our church was booked the entire month of Sept. I raised holy hell at my love. I made him call the church and get the closest date to our original--so we got August 16th :) I'm also withholding sex until he gets his baptismal papers sent from his church to mine (which he's been putting off for months).
Bratty Stephieb <email>
Louisville, KY Wednesday, March 12, 2003
Why can't my freaking future in-laws give us an answer about the rehearsal dinner? My parents are shelling out mucho bucks for everything else and this is all they have to pay for. My sweet fiance did all this research when we were in town over Christmas and "submitted" it to them (they live in a different city). They were NOT willing to set a date to meet in the wedding city and try out suggested restaurants (and also meet my parents). So why can't they say "hey, you guys lived in that city for a long time and whatever you think is best is fine with us"? No, they can't give an answer and now it's been 3 months. If that place is booked now I will blow a gasket.
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
Where should I start? I secretly want to boot my MOH 'cause she is never around and unsupportive and doesn't seem to be the slighest interested in anything that I show her (by they way, she is my older sister) I would love to kick one of my BM to the curb 'cause I was forced to have her in it and I didn't want her in it to begin with and I still DON'T and I also don't want to invite her grubby boyfriend. I want to smack my other BM who is also another sister for planning her wedding 5 months ahead of mine! I got engaged X-mas Eve 2001 and she (which she has been engaged for like 4 years, postponed the first wedding to never) decides that she is going to hurry up and get married in November 2003! That witch is stealing my limelight! My mother won't even plan, discuss or think about my wedding until her's is done with and mine is 12 months away! I secretly wish that my BM sister gets her wedding postponed again (that would teach her that he didn't want to marry her in the first place!)And for the record, I booked and set my date first (April 2004) and I am getting the slack that I should have booked it later in the year. Another confession is that I don't want children at my wedding; all they do is run all over the dance floor and make noise and some will even try to stick their fingers in my wedding cake that I will be paying alot of money for! And I am relentless about planning the perfect wedding to the extent that I come off self-centered, selfish and egotistical; and the saddest part is that I don't give a rats a** - you only get married once and I am doing it up! Now, if I could just take care of those problems................
Bride who is pi**ed at the world!
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
I don't care! I used my printer to address all of the envelopes! [I did use a spiffy font so at least people will kinda think I care] And no inner envelopes for me either! ahahahahaa!
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
Ok, I have to confess I am worried about war affecting my wedding, besides the fact WWIII is looking like it may start in a few days. It makes me feel I have to make the wedding go through, even with the threat of war. Considering I have people flying from England, it worries me about their safety. BUt my fiancee assures me Brits are used to terrorists attacks and would come in the event of a war. OF course, my sister got married a month after Sept 11th. (Oct. 27th, 2001) Her husband is half Syrian and a lot of his family couldn't come in the end.(SHort like aobut 25 people.) I am keeping a stiff upper lip, and hoping it is resolved by the end of July.
*Praying might not hurt either!
CA Monday, March 10, 2003
So my FSIL who is the youngest of his family and by far one of the most stubborn and spoiled females i have ever met calls me up BITCHING that one of the other said something about our "no childern invited" Mind you - the only concession has been our sibblings childern who are in the wedding (FSIL's 4-yr-old ring bearer and my brother's 5-yr-old flower girl) and with the understanding that they are going to leave after we cut the cake which will probably be 9:30 at night - WAY late for kids that age to be out anyway!!!! So she's pissed all because of a misunderstanding. She called me a liar and actually said "Well i feel for my brother for having to deal with you" ME?!?!?!? when i asked hubby-to-be about all this, he told me "That's typical of her. Knowing what I know about her, i never would have asked her to be in the wedding if i was you" (Did i mention I have the Greatest man ever?!?!) So now she won't even speak to me and the wedding's like a month away. OH- here's the real kicker - she's staying at our house for a whole damn week while i'm gonna be camping out at a hotel (that i have to pay for out of my own pocket) with MOH. Sheesh!!!! what a little patoot.
WE're doing this OUR way!!!
Monday, March 10, 2003
My FI and I are having a rather casual wedding, because that's more of our personality and our families personalities. But I am still worried about some people at the reception. My FI is in a punk rock band and we have some "unusual" friends. I love them all but I am occasionally worried about how my southern belle grandmothers will react to the tattooed and pierced group. But I have talked to our friends about my southern family and for the most part I think they will behave. However my future SIL keeps making jokes about how she will be too drunk to even handle walking down the aisle (she's a BM). I want her to be a part of the wedding but I have seen her drunk and I know she can be a loud, obnoxious, and inappropriate drunk. Whenever I talk to my FI about it he says I shouldn't worry and she's just joking. But she went so far as to say this in front of his parents. I have also heard murmurings of people saying they were going to laugh and even fart during our first dance. I am probably the most laid back, casual, "one of the guys" type you will ever meet...but this is my wedding. And I am planning on it being my only one! I know my friends are a little young (most are still in college) but can't they understand what this means to me. Oh, and my FI and I met under circumstances that I am not ashamed of but could be perceived as inappropriate (booty call anyone?). We fell in love with each other and joke about how our relationship began. But I am worried that our friends who know may make offcolor remarks at the wedding, once again possibly offending the southern part of my family. I know, I know I should have faith in my friends and family that they will all do their part to make this day special for me....but I am worried!
Just a little worried
Monday, March 10, 2003
My FI's father is a photographer and I HATE his work. I told him he can't do the photos b/c he'll have to be in them. he agreed, but has now said he has a "buddy" who will do the work. I have no say?? I don't want to go Bridezilla on this b/c it is free and I'm on a budget, but what if he sucks? Also, FI's family isn't offering to pay for anything (except the photography, and that is only an assumption). When I have confronted FI, he says his dad (mom deceased) doesn't have a lot of money and doesn't know better, just forget abt it. Well I'm poor and my mom is a widow on a linited budget. His dad is single, house paid off and his daughter will prob never marry because she is a weirdo who at 26 has never even kissed a boy and is a total recluse (BTW, I have to make her a BM!) Now I feel bitter around FFIL and can't explain why, and he's such a nice guy, even though he's a horrible photographer!
MD Sunday, March 09, 2003
I wish I'd never asked my FSIL to be a bridesmaid. She is in her mid-twenties and still living at home, which would be fine if she were going to school or working, but she's not doing either...she's not even *trying* to get a job. Now, some of my other gainfully-employed BMs are having troubles making ends meet, so I used my Xmas bonus to pay half on all their dresses, including FSIL's (over $500 total, and this is on dresses I let *them* pick out). My other BMs all thanked me profusely and offered to pay me back when they could, but she complained to my DF about the cost of the dress (which *she* picked out!) and wants either him or her parents to pay for the other half since she's not working! As if DF and his parents don't have enough other wedding-related expenses to worry about! Plus, we're having a mid-morning wedding and when I told her she'd need to be there at 7 to get ready, take pictures, help me get ready, etc., she had a fit. What the hell did she think being a bridesmaid meant, anyway? A free dress and her name in the program? Argh!
Wishing DF was an only child...
Saturday, March 08, 2003
i check my bridal registries online 3 x day to see what people have purchased. i have to stop obessing!!
scared of being greedy
Friday, March 07, 2003
ok,.. my confession is that I have slowly phased out a bridesmaid non-grata. Said BM was foreced upon my by my grandmother *aka GramZilla the ruler of all that is pink and lacky*. Said BM was an old childhood friend of mine but we haven't seen or spoken to each other in well over 10 years. Gramzilla appointed BM to my wedding party with out my knowledge or consent, then told me *forcefully* that she thought it would be a great idea to include her.. i was pissed amazingly wonderful FMIL was shocked.. my arm had been broken. You cannot argue with GramZilla lest she destroy you with one crush of her lace encrusted claw. Fast Forward.. BM hasn't been responding to my e-mails at all.. still hasn't ordered bm dress as I requested at the begining of the year. No contact= no BM.. she can still be a guest.. but not in my party.. YAY..I've offically put in the BM dress order and included a very dear freind who Gramzilla thought was too young *18* pffff.. fugedabout it..
still haven't told Gramzilla though.. i'm too young to die
Why can't I have what I want <email>
ninth gate of lacy hell, md Friday, March 07, 2003
Ok, I'm new to this whole bridal business, but I can't believe that I spent ALL last night cutting out pictures from wedding magazines (so I don't break my back lugging the damn things around) while my fiance sat at the computer looking up honeymoon plans. The wedding is OVER a year away. If it's this bad already, I can't imagine what it'll be like next year at this time.
Friday, March 07, 2003
I'm such a bridezilla that I think my wedding is more important than war. I am pissed that we may go to war b/c I'm scared it will screw up my wedding or honeymoon.
Thursday, March 06, 2003
I send my FI a 'to do' list yesterday because he thinks that we're basically done planning out wedding. Ever bride knows that you're never really done planning your wedding there is always something else to do. Well I sent him his list in hopes of scaring him a little. HE DIDN'T SO MUCH AS BLINK!!! I'm so mad. I fell like I'm under the stress of two people because he is taking such a care free approach to this whole planning thing. I just want to scream.
He wont HELP
TO, Wednesday, March 05, 2003
I didn't bother to send my sister a Thank You card. (I'm going to try to keep this list short.) When I asked her to be a bridesmaid, she said she has to think about it, and a month later sent me a long email saying no. At the wedding, she didn't say a word to me (or the groom), even in the receiving line. Her card contained a good deal of cash, though, which was provided by our parents so they would not be embarrassed when my sister gave us squat. She has not said so much as "hello" to either of us since, refuses to eat with us at my parent's house. She is rude to my husband every chance she gets--when he extended an olive branch, saying we should get along 'cause we're related now, she told him they would never be related. She refused to speak to HER OWN godmother and her husband because their kids were in our wedding--they had no idea what they had done to offend her. Yesterday (6 months later), my husband mentioned that she also snubbed the priest at the wedding when he tried to talk to her (then hubby realized wasn't supposed to tell me that).
NY, NY Monday, March 03, 2003
um...i haven't been asked officially to marry my beloved but i've decided to occupy most of my time with wedding planning, including snooping around on the web. I love this site! :D
Sunday, March 02, 2003
About two years ago, I moved for graduate school and found myself living near an old friend from high school. She had just gotten engaged and, as we got back into touch after moving near one another, I was invited to the wedding. The wedding was in our hometown about 10 hours away. Well, as it turns out, no one had planned a bridal shower for her in the town we were currently living in, so I offered to help the bride's friend throw a shower for her and all of her wonderful friends with whom whe had gone to school down here.
We decided to do an "around the house" shower and, as is common for such showers, in the corner of the invitation we wrote "please bring a small gift to complement their new_____". Only after the invitations had all gone out, did I find out that only about 2 people on the list were even invited to the wedding. Not only that, but the friend who I was cohosting the shower with was supposed to have been a bridesmaid. However, since she couldn't afford the dress, she wasn't a bridesmaid. I found this to be HIGHLY insulting since this is supposedly one of the bride's best friends and the bride has more money than God and didn't even help her friend out. The bride then had the audacity to ask US, not her bridesmaids to throw her a shower and invite people who were not invited to the wedding to bring gifts.
On the day of the shower, people were polite and it went fairly well. I, however, am still utterly embarassed for having been a part of such an etiquette faux pas. If only she knew how insulting it all turned out for everyone, including herself.
embarassed bridal friend
Sunday, March 02, 2003
My MOH and one of my other bridesmaids wanted to throw me a shower, but my bridesmaid recently had to move out of state so I've been trying to help my MOH with the shower plans. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but a bride is NOT supposed to be paying for her own dang shower!!! I went with my MOH to pick out shower decorations so she could get an idea of what I want. I didn't know that would entail hauling out my checkbook and spending over $100 on paper goods! She didn't even offer to pay me back, not even half!!! And I'm the one who is broke and desperately looking for a job! GRRRR!
I'm a pushover!!!
Saturday, March 01, 2003
I am an address nazi.
I am militant, and unrelenting.
I have a .32 caliber steel-gague pen and a high security address database vault.
There is no escape.
Atlanta, GA Friday, February 28, 2003
A "friend" from college (15 years ago), who I see AT MOST once a year at a group get-together, asked me to be in her wedding which was to be held out-of-town, about 300 miles away. I lied and told her I had a business trip that overlapped that weekend, but I wish I had just been honest and said, "Thanks, but no." I heard through the rumour mill that she asked me because she was having bridesmaids dresses made--one of the original bridesmaids had to back-out and I happened to wear the same dress size! Even so, I was so flipping irritated that a woman I'm not even close to expected me to spend what would've been over $1000 on dress, airfare, hotel, shower gifts, etc.
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
I love my best friend dearly but can't seem to see eye to eye with her on anything at the moment. When I told her I was engaged she just seemed to change in front of my eyes, I know she is a little jealous as she is older than me and has been with her partner longer but her complete distain for all things wedding is really getting to me. She has insulted my engagement ring, mocked my wedding ideas and the final straw... told me she can't go to a bridal show this weekend with the other bridesmaid and myself as her boyfriend feels pressured about the whole wedding thing. I don't know whether to feel sorry for her or tell her how hurt I feel. The bridal show is about bonding and having a laugh together, and on another level its about supporting me while I plan this wedding. On no levels at all is this about her and her boyfriend's issues... but it just seems like too much of an emotional hassle to confront her about how I feel...
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
I have been engaged for a year now and have been planning my wedding (to take place in November of 2003) since November of last year. I asked my best friend to be my maid of honor and I really wanted my god nephew to be my ring bearer, but inorder for that to happen I had to ask his mother to be my bridesmaid. This was not somthing I really wanted to do anyways. Well, now she calls me three days ago to inform me that the man she has been living with for 2 years has finally asked her to marry him and they are getting married in June. She then expects me to talk to her about it like I have all the time on my hands and have nothing else to do...and when I told her that I got engaged, she didnt care to talk to me about it for more than 5 min. now she is calling me constantly and wanting to brag and gab on about her wedding, completly forgetting about the wedding I have been planning since NOVEMBER, and only talking about the wedding she has JUST started planning. AHHHHHHHHHH I want her to just go ahead and say that she dont want to be in my wedding anymore... it would make me TONS happier...
frustrated friend/bride <email>
dallas, tx Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Another bridesmaid bites the dust. From 6 bridesmaids down to 5. But heah, now I don't have to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. Since we're both getting married, we decided to start a new job, one HIGHLY overlooked. The Official CALMER! We will each be the CALMER for each other, fielding jealous and crazy relatives, bridesmaids, and co-misery of all that is bridal these days.
But good news, after over 35 dresses at four different stores, I finally have THE DRESS!
Monday, February 24, 2003
my MOH is terrible and i want her to step down. she is self absorbed and flakey and i can't believe i asked her. she has not shown any interest or support for me since i asked her to be in the wedding. now she is planning her wedding 1 month after mine and has had ZERO forthought about how the timing of her wedding will affect mine. i wish she would go away.
MOH - honor my ass
Monday, February 24, 2003
I'm to the point where whenever anyone asks me any questions about the wedding I just snap at them and say "I DON"T KNOW!!!" I hate it when people want me to answer little details. I don't know everything yet. Back off! Whew
Friday, February 21, 2003
I've become Imelda Marcos. I made the mistake of going shoe shopping with the boy- who convinced me to buy these beautiful but too high beige leather slips. In a fit of rebellion, I bought a lower more comfortable beige leather shoes. Now that the dress has come in, I've realized that the dress is very very very white...so, we're back to shopping yet again for at least another pair of shoes!
Friday, February 21, 2003
I'm discovering that maybe it would be a good idea to be a dictator. There is the-It's your day dear-always do what the bride wants. But everyone wants to give you their imput, and then see if you'll use their idea. I mean, asking you if you did in a seemingly non-chalant follow-up. I'm trying to do the "Let the Bridesmaids help pick their dresses" idea. I'd say 3 of them want to be able to wear the dress again. WE're talking the seperates idea, so at least they can wear the tops. I am proud to say I got a dress that I feel comfortable in, look good in, will photograph well, shouldn't be destroyed when people mob me on the day, and actually wasn't too huge an amount. I can still pay my morgage next month. Which brings me to a question. HOw many other brides are having to work, do all the other regular life stuff as well as plan? I think half of the traditions were thought up in a time that women had NOTHING ELSE TO DO BUT PLAN A WEDDING. My fiancee has suggested he wants to do SAVE-THE-DATE cards out to our guest list. ANd I started to have a bridezella moment because that moved up the invitations time and he said their just cards to go out. BUt then I had to point out it means we have to work on gathering all of the address ahead of the invitations. HE said it would be his area, but then we are now working together to get it to happen. I mean, if one more thing is added to my pile, it totally throws me off balance. I just think to myself, what kind of bride do I want to be? I don't want to go bezerk for the next 5 months. SO, I'm trying to go with the flow. Well, I guess, the dictatorzella is a very good idea from my planning adventure so far. But how can it be pulled off effectively without hurting too many feelings?
Friday, February 21, 2003
It's because you rock as a Bridezilla that you are elevated to the level of Dictatorzilla. The rest of us only dream of what you've achieved.
I take off my Bridezilla hat to you...
Thursday, February 20, 2003
I hate my boss. I'm having all sorts of (non-wedding) related problems with him, which probably wouldn't seem so bad and which we could probably work out to our mutual satisfaction if this weren't supposed to be the *happiest time of my life*!!! I feel like he's trying to ruin my wedding, even though none of our problems have anything to *do* with the wedding. I just know the next time we have a problem I'm going to burst into tears and accuse him of spoiling my wedding preparations. Sheesh...how self-absorbed is that?
Thursday, February 20, 2003
I searched everywhere--and I mean EVERYWHERE--for a dress I liked that had a reasonable price..I thought it was crazy to spend all kinds of money on a dress you would wear once. After trying on dresses at 6 stores, dejected, I finally found a nice, but plain dress on sale that I put a $170 deposit on out of desperation (non-refundable of course). A few weeks later I realized I was hasty and didn't like the dress, but I was still trying to be economical so I bid on a dress on ebay for $140 and won. The idea was to then take it to a seamstress and have her add some beading, etc. to make it look less plain. After paying to have the dress altered, I realized the dress was never going to look the way I wanted and I was crazy to even try. So, I went to the last bridal salon in town that I hadn't been to yet and ended up buying a $900 dress. So, my effort to 'save' money ended up costing me a around $1,300. I can't believe my fiance is still going to marry me--mabye it's because I wouldn't tell him how much the 3rd dress cost.
Three time's the charm
Thursday, February 20, 2003
I am not just the Bridezilla. I am the Dictator. I have told everyone involved in the weddign what they are expected to wear, including my mother and my FMIL (color and style). I even picked out the tuxes for the guys. Every decision about the wedding comes through me.
Am I being selfich, or do I just have a nack for controlling how I want things to be on our big day?
Thursday, February 20, 2003
i hate my future sister in law and her 2 demon-spawn children. they live in GA and we live in PA. she was on her way up to her parents and i REFUSED to let her and her demon children stay at our apartment overnight becaues i can't stand them. (they also invited themselves to come and i find that highly tacky). she probably now hates me but i don't care.
hate my FSIL
PA Thursday, February 20, 2003
It could be worse. My fiance and I planned a trip to see both our families over a long weekend next month and cleared the time with each. I checked with my stellar bridesmaid to see when we could get together. Then my mother "checked with me" last night to make sure it's okay to throw an engagement party for us while we're there. The whole idea is my bridesmaid's...the girl I should have asked to be my matron of honor, and she told Mom to keep it a secret. Mom called back again to tell me not to tell her I know, and not to tell my fiance (I love surprises, he hates them but is getting a little better about it). I'm okay with not having my shower be a surprise because of how far apart everyone is, but this surprise would have been nice. My mother always does this...she's only surprised me once that I remember, and that was because I wasn't talking to her much at the time. I feel bad -- when she called back to make sure I wouldn't get her in trouble, I told her she shouldn't have told me in the first place. Forgive me, Hera, for I have sinned...
disappointed and not hiding it very well
Thursday, February 20, 2003
I've been checking our registry every day since the invitations went out.
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
My so called best friend of 10 years asked me to be a bridesmaid while her little sister, who was like 16 was the MOH. Did I mention my friend had been my MOH just the year before??
Anyway, that didn't irk me as much as the following: She changed her date a couple of times and didn't tell me until I told her what our other friend's date was going to be. She freaked out on me. Our other friends' date was tentative and I told her that; I also mentioned I was her MOH but not in a vindictive way, just stating the fact. Well it turns out that I got our other friends' date confused and it wasn't the same date as hers afterall! By the time I figured this out she had sent me an EMAIL (!!) saying "I hope you can still make it, but I have found someone else to be my attendant". What*&*^*&ever;, skank. I wrote her back saying I couldn't believe she did that after all the years we'd been friends and yadda yadda. No response. Anyway, I told my mother in law, a very classy lady and her response was: "F*** her. You don't need that.". I felt like I had been dumped. It was awful and I felt like crap. She never involved me in any of the planning before this while I had her involved in a lot of my planning. Stupid.
I hope that during my wedding (planning, etc.) I didn't make my girls feel like schmucks. I was probably the most laid back bride on the planet and I took pride in that. Stuff got done but w/o any tantrums or drama, thank god.
Oh, my mom/sisters ran into her last week with her new husband (poor sap) and she looked like a complete frump. Hmm.
IL Wednesday, February 19, 2003
Not a sin by the bride, but some potential guests that were snubbed. Bought everything on the registry and returned it the day after the wedding. Wait, I don't regret that at all.
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
Well, I haven't done anything YET, but I'm dreading/planning a HUGE bridezilla moment at my FIL's. They have literally not done ONE thing toward the wedding in the 18 months that we've been planning. It's out of toen for them, and although everyone else is showing up wendsday or thrusday night, they're getting in an hour before the rehehesal starts on Friday. They are ALSO planning on driving out to Mississippi on Saturday (the day of the wedding) to see an old boozing friend of theirs, and they hope they'll get back in time for their son's wedding. I've been wanting to give my future father in law a piece of my mind for YEARS, ever since I met his son, and although I'm dreading their behavior at the wedding, I'm also evilly looking forward to loosing it at him and then being about to say "ooops... I guess it was just a bridal moment..."
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
I'm beginning to think that perhaps my friends don't like me as much as I thought they did. A couple of years ago one of my best friends got married, and all of our friends were in the wedding, except for me of course. She asked me to serve food! Can you believe that? I felt like I had been slapped in the face. Then a few months after that another one of my best friends got married, and the exact same thing happened, only this time she asked me to do the makeup. Then a few months after that my best friend got married, and I was actually the MOH, but the first friend who had gotten married was pissed because she thought she should be the MOH. I just can't win! She honestly had some sort of break down because she wasn't the MOH. So that made me feel horrible! I'm here now to vow in front of everyone that when I get married, NOTHING like that will happen, I'll make sure of it!
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
This is my brother-in-law's wedding. I followed directions of his bride to the letter. I took my husband to be fitted for the black suit and such the moment we were given all the model numbers. The remainder of the men took a more relaxed approach. The groom's suit arrived with the wrong jacket. Every piece of the bestman's rental was wrong. The remainder of the groomsmen all had something wrong with their rentals. How fortunate that those who did not have their accomodations paid for (us) and stayed in a city, not the quaint inn provided for all the rest of the party, were able to pick up all the rental corrections the day of the wedding!! No thanks from any of the guys for doing it either!
Monday, February 17, 2003
So I have this ex-friend who, back in the day when we were friends, was always like "just put me in a pretty dress someday". Hell - she started dropping hints about being my bridesmaid like 3 months after we became friends! I always thought it was a little bit weird, but I just kind of smiled and brushed it off. Well, 3 years later I'm engaged and come to the conclusion that I really don't want her to be in my wedding party, but do want her to be involved. So I ask her to speak at the wedding. She sounds excited and ok with everything. She would call and ask about plans etc. I thought everything would be ok. Then, get this!! She EMAILS me to tell me that she can't come to the wedding. No apologies, no reason, no nothing. What a skank. I have been nothing but a good friend to her and she doesn't even have the decency to call. Some friend. I wrote her back and told her that it was shitty to not at least call and that I would be sure to remove her name from the list. Mom thinks that even though she can't come, she should still receive a wedding invite. Nope. She's gone and maybe it's all for the best. She has always been jealous of me and finally I guess she just couldn't take it anymore. At least now I know her true colors and I know that I made the right decision to not let her be in the wedding because no real friend would behave like that. I hope she winds up lonely and miserable.
Friday, February 14, 2003
I don't want my father to walk me down the isle. I hate that it is still refered to in my family as "giving the bride away". I am no one property. I am my own person and my husband will not "own" me. I have however agreed to let him escort me down the isle. I have, however, made it clear that if anyone ever refers to it as "giving the bride away" that they had better not show up at the wedding.
Thursday, February 13, 2003
I'm trying hard not to be selfish. I just received my future in-laws guest list. It has 73 people on it. We agreed initially to have around 50 each, my parents, his parents and us. Now they've given us a list for 73! And my fiance has around 42 for his half of our 50! I really don't want them to have way more guests there than me and my parents. Is that awful? My parents are paying for it. I just don't think they should send their huge guest list when they're not even paying for it. They say that a lot of the people won't come because they live all over the country but we're sending out save the dates and the wedding will be in a lovely location at a wonderful time of the year. I think many of these people will use it as an excuse for a vacation if we give them ample time to prepare. I wish I could just say "the more the merrier" but I confess I don't want it to feel like it's more my fiance's and his parent's party than mine and my parents.
Thursday, February 13, 2003
I am afraid of the woman who is going to become my SIL. She has a rocky history with her family...went for about 8 years without speaking to them and now she has suddenly developed some sort of horrible eye disease and moved back to town and needs to be pampered and driven everywhere because she's afraid of the bus and can't drive (I think its all a sick and twisted lie). The move back to town happened to coincide with the gradparents getting sick and suddenly she's the model daughter, taking every opportunity to see her parents, grandparents, be super helpful, while maintaining this (fake) weak and meek demeanor.
ANYWAY...there's the background... She cornered the GTB during a birthday celebration while I was in a different room and coerced him into asking ehr to be a part of our wedding. We had already decided to keep things simple and just have ourselves and our parents walk down the aisle. Now we have to rethink the whole ceremony... either that or risk offending the wench. The GTB's mom is pushing us to include her in the ceremony because she's afraid the girl might move away if we don't let her have her way meanwhile, I'm not going to include her before I include my own sister... this whole thing is reeling out of control!
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
so im getting married this weekend (in 3 days) and one of my bridesmaids is complaining she never received her invitation.this is the same bridesmaid, mind you, that has not gotten her dress yet!!! i just want to tell her to shut up.
I'll never tell
guess, TX Tuesday, February 11, 2003
well allmy girs have known fr about a year now that we were going to be goinmg to gt fittedfor the resses jan 4 2003 well christmas moring i get a call andit is my cousin that i reall think of her as my best friend saying that she cant be in thewedding she has no money and cant borrow it froma any one then the night what a christmas present lol i freaked and found some oe else which is who i call my second mom an she said that she could fill in herdaughter is already n the wedding the on jan3 about nie at night sh cals me and tell me tht neiher her ar her daughter can b in the wedding i went nuts i could not findany one that short of time so i cryed all night all the girls et to my moms house and only one of my sisters are there i asked where the other one is i really dont tal to her but had to have her in it if i was having one was having both myoldest sister kept on saying dont talk about that bitch she finally told me that the other sister did not want to be in theweddng i ran downstairs and lockd my self in the computer rom and cryd again for about a hour well then i found two more bm so i was ok the i go and look and look for a place fr the reherseal dinner with my mil fine the best one and booked it the on sat they call my mil and tell her that the airport is closing them down they are making the air port bigger im gettig marrie may 10 2003 wha isgoing o happen next im ready to kill everyone maybe we should runaway and get married
ready to kill (heather keener) <email>
hazelwood, mo Monday, February 10, 2003
I'm scared. I don't mind getting married but I'm dreading the thought of shifting through reception sites, caterers and mountains of puffy white dresses...
Monday, February 10, 2003
We had very little money to spend on our wedding that was very simple and low-key, but simple and low-key for 165 people (!). Yes, my Catholic family never did sort out that birth control stuff. The largest influx of cash came from his father because mine is an ass and decided to boycott for reasons too lengthy to explore here. To save money, my now-husband wanted to eliminate the booze (his father struggles w The Drink and he himself had recently gone on the wagon) and the meat kebabs (buffet style mind you). I said if we didn't have enough money to nourish and liquor up our friends and family we didn't have enough money to put on a wedding at all. After lots of premarital gnashing, I got the meat, and the wine. Then I spent $90 at the MAC counter. I even bought three lipsticks because I couldn't decide. Luxe, Viva Glam, and Ladybug. My only excuse is that my shoes cost under $20 from Nordstrom Rack and I did raid about what was left of my savings. So while my husband wore a pair of grubby old sandals, I sported freshly brightened red lips and blushed cheeks.
cheap and greedy in la
Monday, February 10, 2003
i asked my bridesmaids to dye shoes to match their dresses
Sunday, February 09, 2003
Ok, considering all the other things confessed, mine seems small. I am lucky to be engaged to THE "RIGHT GUY";I'm not settling. Jane Austin would be proud. I have 4 other couples in the same group marrying during the summer too, but need to marry my fiancee before his VISA ends or he may have to leave the country(He's a Brit.) So basically planning the date was an obstacle race to get my date around and before other engaged couples. My only real problem is that one of my bridesmaids is jealous of the fact I have a guy, getting married....the whole thing. She is getting better, but challenges all of my decisions. She still is not happy with my wedding colors of burgundy and creme saying they are not summer colors.(But my favorite, basically decorating most of my house. ) I know as a bride you need patience. Weddings are actually suppose to help bring families together and help with the change and adjustments a marriage brings. I am learning a lot of lessons from just the experience of planning the wedding itself. By the way, I am wondering if most of the Bridzellas are American. I have some idea that there isn't this much pressure in other countries for the bride to be the star...be all, and out do all of your friends mentality. After all, I'm having half Brits and half Americans at my wedding. I'm noticing different ideas of what a wedding should be from both sides.
Ca Bride <email>
CA Friday, February 07, 2003
To: "My sister in LAW from HELL!!"
PLEASE reconsider marrying this man! You are headed for nothing but trouble and misery. Look, your MOH is admittedly jealous of your wedding and has admittedly already slept with your husband and is admittedly unhappy with her husband. What more information do you need to turn around RUN! It seems like you are looking out for everyone else and care about his families feelings but nobody is caring about yours...not even yourself. Why would you permit this situation to continue??? PLEASE RECONSIDER
Friday, February 07, 2003
So get this...I am getting married in May and back in October I had found out some things about my fiance (a past girlfriend he never brought up). He told me that we was attending a wedding with his mother (the RSVP was only reserved for the two of them). I had my woman intuition feelings that maybe someone in his past was there. And after several hours of asking and nagging him when he got home if my intuition was true...he finally tells me that the Maid of Honor was his EX girlfriend. Pissed and disappointed at this fact, I ask him "is there anything else you haven't told me???" well his sister in law (his brother's wife) is my Matron of Honor. Ever since my fiance and I have been together, she was been nothing but nice to me. I realized that this person had so much in common with me. So we were like sisters we never had. Well after we became closer (2 years into my relationship with my fiance) she confesses to me that her and my fiance had something going on but she fell for his brother instead. So it didn't work out and she told me that it was not sexual AT ALL!SO GET THIS!!! When I asked my fiance if there was anything else he wanted to tell me he confessed that HE DID SLEEP WITH HIS SISTER IN LAW!!!! Before we met and even during!!! My fiance and I took a break from each other in the first year of our relationship, the sister in law (remind you - my MoH) calls in sick from work, my fiance didn't have class and the two take a drive she then says "I wonder sometimes, if i chose the wrong brother" and to make a long story short...THEY HAD SEX IN HER CAR!!! 3 months later, I get back with my fiance. HE TELLS ME THIS NOW!?!?!?? Well it's been 3 months since i found out...we went through some drama and had to figure things out. Well we're still together and his sister in law is still my MoH (just to keep peace within his family) all she does now is kiss my ass because she doesn't feel anything but guilt. She's throwing me my bachelorette party. The plan was we were having the bachelorette party in our home town while the guys (on the same weekend) go off to Vegas. THAT WAS THE PLAN! Well one night she calls me and says, "I booked our air and hotel for vegas" i said "FOR WAT!?" she says it's for the bachelorette party, and then she says to tell her husband (my fiance's brother and BM) that it was MY IDEA because he was furious that we were going to be in vegas on the same weekend. NOW I HAVE TO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS AND BRIDESMAIDS THAT WE'RE GOING TO VEGAS. My Bridesmaids are NOT RICH and will not spend money to fly there!! So ANOTHER PROBLEM ...the sister in law calls me again ONE night and says "I booked the air for your friends...so just tell them to pay me back for the ticket" ONE - MY FRIENDS DIDN'T HAVE ANY IDEA THAT WE WERE GOING TO VEGAS - TWO - NOW I HAVE TO ASK THEM FOR $100 TO PAY FOR THE TICKET THEY DIDN'T SAY YES TO!!! THREE - I HATE HER!!! She even confessed to me that she's jelous because we're having this 60k production wedding and she didn't...she complains about how unhappy she is with her husband...which makes me feel that she regrets not choosing my fiance to begin with when she had a choice. And I think she still has this thing for my fiance. WHY THE HELL DID SHE WANT TO GO TO VEGAS THE SAME WEEKEND?!?!?!?!?!?! DUH!!
And to top it all OFF, she's my MATRON OF HONOR!! AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
I love my fiance soooo much and he reassures me everyday that he messed up in the past and is not going to go back to that EVER AGAIN. And I do trust him, but I don't trust her. And as if I don't have a lot on my mind already, i still have this huge wedding to plan. And if hear about my planning stories. I swear you'de feel sorry for me. Until next drama.........
My sister in LAW from HELL!! <email>
LA, CA Friday, February 07, 2003
I already bought a dress, but I'm not sure if I like it. I stiffed a lady from ebay after winning her auction for Vera Wang since my fiance told me I can't change my mind after I buy a second one. My wedding isn't for 11 months! How do I find a dress and not change my mind again before then?
Milwaukee, WI Thursday, February 06, 2003
Okay, here's a brief update, I am still as of yet not engaged. But my Dad's fiance and I are having a blast talking about her wedding. She and my Dad asked me to sing in their wedding, a simple outdoor affair that will no doubt allow her to maintain her sanity. Theirs will be in Sept. and if all goes well, mine will be in Dec. and she will read a passage at my wedding. I am really digging the bonding!!! And for those of you dear brides who have this whole "my day, my year" thing... Does it really matter if someone gets married before or after you in the same year?? I can't even fathom what the big snit about this is... I think it's great that we are doing this. No one's thunder is in danger of being stolen because that's not what it's about. It's about family.
Thursday, February 06, 2003
I didn't ask my sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid. I didn't buy my attendants gifts.
Thursday, February 06, 2003
Ok, here is my confession. I am TRULY marrying the most wonderful guy in the world...and feel very blessed....BUT..there is a small problem, I was married before (very briefly). My former husband had a substance abuse problem I did not know about, and I promptly divorced him when I was told by him "I need to do drugs." That was five years ago - now here I am getting married again. Although my FH and I were both raised Catholic, neither of us has practiced in a long time. In order for me to get married in the Catholic church again (not that either he or I care about that) it costs $800 for the annullment (I am not even going to get INTO what I think of that charge). The thing is, my FH's parents are very religious and want me to get my 1st marriage annulled. In order to keep the peace, I agreed. They even offered to pay for it, but I told them no.
Since my FH and I got engaged that seems to be ALL they talk about...this FREAKING ANNULMENT!!!! I CANNOT deal...I feel like I am re-living all the pain and embarrassment of my divorce all over again because of these people WHO HAVE NO BUSINESS EVEN WORRYING ABOUT IT! It's NOT important to me or my FH....PLEASE GET A PROBLEM ALREADY!! My FH is the only one who knos how much this bothers me..and has been supportive to the point of saying he would tell his parents not to come if they could not cope with me not getting the annullment - but I don't want that. I will proceed trying to get it...but come hell or high water, we are getting married on the date we have chosen...catholic wedding or not!
I feel ABSOLUTELY horrible even saying these things as my future in-laws are dear people whom I do get along with. I am determined not to start my marriage with a serious rift in the family (I come from a VERY dysfunctional family as it is)....I just REALLY needed to get all of this off my chest.
Hoping not to go to hell
PA Thursday, February 06, 2003
Oh, oh, oh... the stress, the hassles --- the MONEY!!!
or lack there of. The Insanity... all of which I experienced.
1) The proposal: I told him he either had to marry me or move out. It was my apartment, and even though his part-time job paid for food... I had my post-college job lined up. He still claims I had a sure-bet, I still tell him that he either loved me (and he still does) or just did not want to bother looking for his own place.
2) The ring: He showed me a nice little quarter carat pear shaped ring at a little family jewelry shop ... I liked it, and then I paid for it, not half of the cost... the entire amount (well at least I got it before I got married, my mother bought her set after her lunch-date wedding when she went back to work at the jewelry store she did windows for).
3) Why do weddings have to be in JUNE!!! My dear hubby was graduating in March and starting work at a company that does not grant vacation time for a whole year... and I was graduating in June. I figured the best time to get married was during Spring Break, before hubby reported to work, so that we could have some time together away. But NO... his mother said it HAD to be in June, and my goofy guy agreed with her!
4) The planning: I wanted a teeny tiny thing at his parents house, with only his parents, my parents, perhaps his European grandparents and a few friends. But no... we have to invite ALL the family from Canada (I swear my husband is related to half the population of Vancouver Island north of Nanaimo!). So the wedding is changed to a nearby park in the lovely old farmhouse that the city rents for events. Next... I want only a little dessert buffet, or appetizers at most. But NO... if we are having a ferry load of folks coming down, we need to have a huge sit-down dinner! And it just escalated.
5) The Budget: There was none, because there was no money. Both of us were college students... and my parents were on a fixed retirement budget. My sister (who was a FRESHMAN in college) announced she was getting married about 3 months after me... so my parents told me they would send up the amount they could afford: $200.00 ...... And of course my future Mother-in-Law is planning all this stuff, but not telling me who was going to pay for it (I know WE can't).
6) The Dress: I want something simple... but NO.... his mother goes shopping with me and I have to get a gown. I also had to put a down payment on it (which amounts to about half of my apartment's rent). I also order a Maid of Honor dress, plus two bridemaid dresses (for my 2 sisters).
7) The Invitations: Since my hubby has a slightly different last name, and my first name is just off the normal expectation... the folks who do the invitations cannot figure out what we clearly printed. The first batch had HIS last name spelled wrong... the next batch had my first name spelled wrong.
8) The cancellations: My parents call up and tell me that since my brother is coming to visit with their first grandchild at the same time as our wedding... that they will not be able to come. Oh, great, no parents... and no sisters for bridesmaids. Several years later at one of my sister's 2nd wedding my mother was peeved that she I changed the wedding since she had bought a dress and was all ready to come up. She had totally forgotten the phone call where she cancelled on me.... which caused the next chain of events.
9) The change: I am fed up. I am fed up with the printers, I am fed up with my hubby's mom's planning, I am fed up with trying to deal with stuff when I am attempting to graduate from college with a decent enough Grade Point Average to get into graduate school... I went to the wedding shop and started to excert MY taste... I asked them to cut off about a 12 inches from the hem so it would be tea length. My hubby's mom was horrified... then I just called the WHOLE thing off. I even cancelled the wedding venue. It is time to just do what I had originally wanted... a teeny tiny thing in his parents living room. But WAIT... there is MORE!!!
10) So dear hubby calls to make an appointment with the Justice of the Peace. Unfortunately he is busy for the next several weekends, but since he lives near hubby's parents he would be willing to come on a Thursday evening after work. Okay... all was set...... Until hubby realizes that it was the same night his team played basketball. Okay, so now the wedding party includes his parents, my new Matron of Honor (the woman who set us up 4 years before), her husband AND half of his basketball team (city rec-league).
---- Mt. St. Helens blows up that weekend, it seems to be a fitting event -----------------
11) The wedding: I wore a pink dress and held my mother's bible. We had barbecued steak and Cherries Jubilee... It was nice. But right after dinner my hubby and his friends pile into our car and go to their game (which they are late for, have to forfeit, but still played). My MoH and I go to her parents house to celebrate her sister's PhD! Hubby and I meet up at our apartment sometime after 11pm and I just go to sleep. Our friends try to organize a get-together at a local park, but it rains.
12) The aftermath: The next morning after my controls class someone asks me what I did the night before, my response: "I got married". My mother has me send her the invitations which she changes to announcents and sends them to the guest list. This really upsets my hubby's European aunt who sends us a very nasty letter about how horrible we were since his grandparents are coming all the way here for a wedding... and it was cancelled. Oh, well... when they came we still had a lovely time visiting. And at least we got to visit with them instead of being in the midst of chaos. It works... my mother-in-law stopped trying to interfere in our lives, and she is wonderful person, especially when one of our kids has special needs - she has been there for us! So 23 years later I am still married to the most wonderful man in the world. Both my sisters are on their second husbands (one sent me a Christmas card with her Las Vegas wedding photo, she had not bothered to tell me she had left hubby #1). So do not despair... no one really cares what you wear, what the favors are and who was doing what after the first couple of years. If you want to get married in the judge's chambers, go for it... if one of your relatives wants you to go for broke: Make THEM do the planning and pay for it -- just tell them you'll show up. If YOU want to go for broke: hire a wedding planner.
Been There... Done That, still married
We See Volcanos, WA Thursday, February 06, 2003
The caterer we met with was very nice. He suggested a roasted lamb stuffed with godknows what. He said he'd add a few extra legs so that there would be enough for everyone. This sounded good until about 3 in the morning, when i woke up with visions of this man chasing a small, fuzzy-wuzzy white sheep around a meadow.
I punched my fiance awake and told him we will have no sacrificial lamb at my wedding.
The next day I went on a bike ride and decided that we'll cook everything ourselves.
Am I out of my mind?
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Yes I think I have lost it!! I just went over to the Bridezilla web site shop and spent $62.00 dollars on t-shits, a bag, and hat!! Atleast everyone will have fair warning!
"I AM BRIDEZILLA...HEAR ME ROAR!!!!!!!!!"
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Now my pregnant sister has decided to move my bachlorette party up 6 months before my wedding! Did she ask me.....NO!, Did she e-mail over 35 people that I was not going to invite...YES, Did she do this with out me knowing...HELL YES! Living with a sister that is taken the spot light hostage...
OBSTACLE COURSE BRIDE...I feel your pain. If you want to vent or talk I am here for you. Us Bridezilla's must stick together. Send your e-mail address next time.
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
I have officially lost it. I am getting married in 10 days and just went shopping on my lunch hour and bought a new wedding dress. Granted, it was only $55 on sale (I'm guessing it was "last year,") but what is this about? Two weeks before my wedding, I make the mistake of trying on my dress, I suddenly hate it (I now realize that I would like to be able to eat AND breathe on that special day) and rush out and buy a new one. Has anyone else experienced this?
Last minute mania
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
I am getting married in 2 1/2 weeks. My stepmother and mother do not seem to get along. Which really just makes me sad because I love them both very much. My father is upset with the cost of everything, which I do not blame him. My mother in law to be is a backwards hill billy woman who makes promises and does not keep them. His family is not paying for anything even though they said they would. She and my fiances father are seperated and I am really tired of how excited she is to sleep with him while she is here. And how she will need alone time with him even though my fiance has not seen his father in 3 years. Even though my fiance and I agreed on no strippers, thanks to his jerk best man who decided to leak it to me today there will be strippers despite any agreements. And quite honestly I am a really nice woman who loves her husband to be. But each day I am growing more and more tired of people only thinking about themselves and not about the fact that we are celebrating us. Anyway to avoid a bridezilla attack I am just keeping my mouth shut. SO I have not done anything to report but I hope I can keep it that way.
Pissed off bride to be <email>
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
I am getting married in 2 1/2 weeks. My stepmother and mother do not seem to get along. Which really just makes me sad because I love them both very much. My father is upset with the cost of everything, which I do not blame him. My mother in law to be is a backwards hill billy woman who makes promises and does not keep them. His family is not paying for anything even though they said they would. She and my fiances father are seperated and I am really tired of how excited she is to sleep with him while she is here. And how she will need alone time with him even though my fiance has not seen his father in 3 years. Even though my fiance and I agreed on no strippers, thanks to his jerk best man who decided to leak it to me today there will be strippers despite any agreements. And quite honestly I am a really nice woman who loves her husband to be. But each I am growing more and more tired of people only thinking about themselves and not about the fact that we are celebrating us. Anyway to avoid a bridezilla attack I am just keeping my motuh shut. SO i have not done anything to report but I hope I can keep it that way.
Pissed off bride to be <email>
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
I have an ex-fiance now. He called off everything because he needed to find himself, and because of the large chested girl who works with him. She told him that she has feelings for him, and he reciprocated. So I guess my bridezilla confession is that we aren't getting married, I still want to marry him, and that I am still reading wedding websites.
Cleveland, OH Wednesday, February 05, 2003
I was okay when they (two cousins and a baby brother) all got engaged. (No, I wasn't, but I limited my bitching.) I was okay when two out of three said they were getting married before me, even though I was engaged first. (After the quick engagements, I sort of expected it.) But the latest trend appears to be to have TWO weddings, one relatively within their means as-soon-as-possible-because-I-want-to-be-married-now-dammit, and one a year or so later, the "big family to-do." Huh? If family and some friends come to your JP ceremony, and then there's food, and you have a bridal party, ain't that your wedding? (Bridal party includes me...from 500 miles away.) Or is the second round to get more presents out of the deal? I understood the first quick wedding -- there were the logistics of marrying someone in the military to consider. But another one? Did I miss an issue of Martha? How does my fellow bride-to-be see this as okay? (And don't even get me started on how she bitched about not being able to "get out of" inviting family...)
My fiance and I always say we only want to do this once -- I guess I should specify that we mean marriage AND the wedding. Sheesh.
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Finally! Some women with rational minds! I am several years married, first of my friends to do so, and I did it in such a non obtrusive, cheap for the party, non-selfish way that it makes me want to pass out when I think of the way I have been repayed by my friends to get engaged since. Last Year I had the nightmare bride who moved to California (mind you both herself and her husband were originally from NY) and decided to make 288 out of 300 quests fly to their wedding instead of having it here at home because it would be easier and cheaper for THEM....UGH. This year I have the nightmare bride who has a weekend wedding (because its two hours away so most quests have to stay over both Friday and Saturday) a weekend Bacherlorette party, AND a weekend Bridal shower (Dinner, Sleep Over, Then Brunch)planned! Like we all just have three weekends over the summer to dedicate to this ridiculousness. The worst one of all is a bride who has done so much torture in the past few months that her mother and sister call me crying almost everyday...the stories I could tell you are too long and quite honestly to blood boiling to even type. Please brides...just stop and take a outside look at what you are doing to friends and loves ones around you and ask yourself if you are really being the sweet, kind, gracious bride that you always pictured your self to be. You may be surprised to see what you have inadvertenly turned into and trust me you will thank me later on for opening your eyes.
Fed Up Bridesmaid
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
I married my husband last April, he is the most supportive wonderful man. He helped with every detail of the wedding, including managing the stress. We had plenty of stress. His mother and sister, who had been perfectly pleasant during the two years we were dating, decided to try to sabotage the wedding. His mother told me that "she would have to wait and see if her family have room for me", and she shot sparks (and nasty comments) at me for the entire engagement. She invited over two hundred guests to the wedding, most of whom had never met the groom. When these guests inevitably declined we didn't make our minimum for the hall and lost a substantial amount of money. I am convinced that my new SIL does not have a soul. After having no contact with her for months, I found out she had made up weekly stories about me. She had been pretending that I had been torturing her. It is bizarre family. So the wedding planning was very stressful. I dont have any strong opinions about flowers, and centerpieces and invitations. So that stuff was frivolous but easy. I picked the smallest and most affordable. The family stuff is the stressful stuff. Two weeks before the wedding our minister recommended that we dis-invite his parents. They had been called my husband and picking screaming fights about everything. I didn't want to burn any bridges.
The day of the wedding was wonderful. It rained, the flowers were wrong, my hairstylist did my hair straight, instead of the curly style I had suggested, and my SIL rearranged the sign outside of the country club to read "Today is your low score Mxx and Lxx" instead of "Congratulations on your wedding Mxx and LXX". She and her "boyfriend" took picture of unmentionable body parts with their table camera and made a rude comment to my husband and I as they left. Oh did I forget to mention that she showed up six months pregnant, a fact which is hard to hide in formal wear. My MIL behaved pretty well at the wedding with one exception. She left us a nasty message on our wedding video. But all of that aside, it actually was the best day of my life. None of is bothered me at all, because I was marring the man of my dreams. We are now happily married and talking about starting our own family. I think I will skip the big baby shower!
Trying for Martha but Getting Jerry Springer
Wethersfield, CT Tuesday, February 04, 2003
Forgotten bride....is your sister my sister-in-law? I just found out that she is due the week of the wedding! She is jealous and selfish of both me and my sister. I truly am happy about the baby. I would be more than excited if she was 8 months pregnant at the wedding, but she will be exhausted and complaining the entire wedding weekend. Now she is starting a campaign to tell everyone in the family how selfish I am for not juping for joy for her.
obstacle course bride
NY Tuesday, February 04, 2003
Sorry my computer went crazy.... If you are just now reading this skip down one and then come back to this confession. Back to my story.
Ok, as happy as I am for her she and her husband decided to start trying two months ago to have a baby. She knows exactly when my wedding is, but she decided to go ahead and try anyway. I would have been more then fine if she was pregnant during my wedding. I even said we could fine her a great maturnity dress, but NO she wants to have the baby in time to show it off at my reception. My mom did offer to pay someone to help me the last two weeks....yea me!!Now I am trying to deal with not being a witch with my mothers time, but I still need her. My sister even offered to share a baby/wedding shower with me....could I be so lucky!!!? I feel so ashamed for being hurt with the situation and if you think you know who I am, I beg you not to tell my sister. I really do love her, but damn why does the world have to revolve around her 24/7. I just hope she has the baby on time or I guess I will say my vows in the Hospital. Please pray for my sanity!!!!
The Forgotten Bride!!!
Monday, February 03, 2003
Where do I begin! My sister (which I love with all my heart) is the type of person that can not deal with not having the spot light on her at all times! I mean at all times. She is having a real difficult time with the fact that I am finally getting married to my wonderful love of 3 years. We have had to postpone our engagement and for over a year and our wedding for almost two years.
I just found out that she is pregnant and she is due 3 weeks before my wedding! YES I SAID 3 WEEEKS!!!
The Forgotten Bride!!!
Monday, February 03, 2003
Why do I have to have a wedding anyway? We are on a tight budget as it is, we can't afford any extras in life. Living in NYC, idealistic about what we want to do in life, not willing to take high-paying soul-sucking jobs that would make a lot of stuff easier. My wonderful brother and sister-in-law got married at City Hall and had a lunch at a restaurant in Chinatown. Total cost $300. Why can't I be happy with something like that. My confession is that I'm pissed that I don't have the money to have the fun wedding that I want to have, when I don't even understand why this should be important. We want a fun wedding, but we also want a good honeymoon, and we also want to live abroad for a year and travel the world. I want money! Waaaah!
crazy in nyc
New York, NY Monday, February 03, 2003
OK, so I admit that I hate the Midwest. I grew up there and got the hell out as soon as I could. Now I live on the East Coast and I'm *convinced* that my more clueless relatives will do something boorish and dumb.
I'm paying a fortune in flowers because I love flowers and they're important to me. I am *terrified* that our more lame relatives will take the centerpiece, along with the RENTAL BOWL that will cost me a fortune if someone steals it. I'm serious! They're just that dumb, that they'd walk off with silver bowls.
I'm trying to keep a lid on my contempt for my birthplace but it's really hard!
Thursday, January 30, 2003
I accused my in-laws of outcasting my family for the rehersal dinner
London, Ontario Thursday, January 30, 2003
Ok. I am not technically a bride. I am not yet engaged. I have been trying to get to fiance status for about a year. My father getting remarried pushed me over my breaking point. I am very happy for him... but I thought I would get married before he did. The big 30 is looming, and I want to get married. I have a scrapbook full of dresses, flowers, cakes, tuxedos, decorations, invitations... I have picked everything out and have a preliminary guest list of over 100 people. After my dad and his fiance came to visit, I cried miserably to my boyfriend about how I would be the last to get married, that I want to get married on my mom's b-day (Saturday this year only for at least 5 more years), and that I didn't even need a ring. (He's in school) So... he took pity and was somewhat afraid of me and it looks like I am going to get what I want. I even gave him one of my mother's old diamond rings to be re-sized. I think it is a lovely gesture to use her ring, but it also will speed up the process. He says we will get married this year and he wants to keep the proposal secret. You would think that this would satisfy me, wouldn't you??? NO. I want to get engaged so I can reserve the church and reception spot. I have lost my mind. I am getting what I want, my loving boyfriend wants to marry me, the psychotic tear stained beast, and all I can think about is WHY DOESN'T HE PROPOSE ALREADY!!! I have save the date cards to send!!! Also, my father helped us with a house downpayment and he is willing to pay for my wedding too. I am blessed, and I want MORE??? I am so going to hell. Ugh. I lie awake thinking about the best hairstyle for the dress I want. I think about how I can cut costs and decorate my owns shoes, make my veil, I bought a book on planning your own wedding for less than $5000.00. I need mental counseling as I am not even ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, January 30, 2003
This is a weird one, for me, because my biggest bridezilla temptation has been the avalanche of engagements since mine. My brother (who got married at Christmas and is finding out more than he wanted to know about his new wife) and two cousins, one of whom is a BM, jumped on the bandwagon within six weeks. At least, that's how it felt. I've been mostly good about the whole "limelight" thing -- we're all different people with different plans, so...
Anyway, my MOH announced her engagement this weekend, which I was expecting. And I'm thrilled for her, even though we're miles apart and I don't know this guy (I trust her father's judgment -- she's his princess, and he loves her fiance). I had a twinge when she told me he'd wanted to get married less than a month BEFORE my wedding (yes, my fiance and I have been together longer than them...big deal), but she talked him into waiting until next spring -- she's always wanted a spring wedding. But I guess I'm mopey because she's getting the response I would have liked to my engagement. Everyone in my current life is jaded and wedding-ed out, but everyone in my old "neighborhood" is thrilled to death and singing to her. There's no disagreement on religion, and her parents are hosting with abandon. I love her and I'm happy to have someone fun to plan with, now, but I'm feeling a little left out and bogged down with issues I can't even talk to her about. And I don't think I'm her MoH. It should be fine -- I've been one before, and I'm the farthest away, so someone else can do a better job -- but I may need a minute to get over it.
Thursday, January 30, 2003
hello! i got engaged june of 2002. my wedding is april of 2004. we are currently looking for a reception hall. everytime i think we have found one, someone doesn't like it. im so sick and tried of planning this wedding. i feel like no one is helping me. my moh is so wrapped up in her life she doesnt even ask bout the plans. my fi's sis is the same way. the only one who has a excuse is my cousin whose a jr in college. but the only one besides me whom seems to give a crap is my best friends from hs who is my 2nd moh. shes in fl, but at least she emails everyday letting me rant and vent bout whats going on here. and has offered to help me in any way even tho shes down there. i'm so ready to cancel this wedding. my dad is set on one recept hall and today my fi says he doesnt like it. like most we have a budget and trying to stay way under it. i need as much advice as possible!!! please help! thanks.
NY Wednesday, January 29, 2003
I hate my sister. Last March I'd been with my Fiancee for over 4 years, and I had confided to my mother that I'd agreed to change my lease terms so that we could get married in the winter and move to a larger apartment. He asked my parents permission, and started the hunt for the perfect ring.
And then my 18 year old sister got engaged to the guy she'd known for 3 months. This was supposed to be MY TIME! I was supposed to have the lime light- I've had to share with her since the day she was born- and for once I wanted to have the limelight only on me. So they immediatly announce a wedding date in early spring 2003- immediatly nixing my deams of a late winter 2002 wedding, and compeltly stealing the limelight for a FULL YEAR.
My fiancee didn't want to share either, so he put off the engagement... and put it off... and put it off... untill I finally asked HIM in July. Well we set a date for 2005- assuming that that woudl give us lots of tiem to have the limelight after my sister got married.... Then my sister announced that she was postponing her wedding untill late 2004! Throughly freaked out I demanded that we move our date up to July 2003 (a year long engagement) so that we could have a whole year between the weddings.
Then the little twit moved her date up to SEPTEMBER 2003! (And had the audacity to suggest that I move mine back again) I stomped my little zilla foot and demanded that we have our wedding in July. All the while I was smiling prettily and assuring the world that of COURSE I was fine with the dates... while secretly I kept wishing that they would jsut dissapear off the face of the earth! My baby sister got to go dress shopping with my mom before I did- and picked the dress I said I loved. (although fortunetly it woudln't have been appropriate for the wedding we're now planning!)
On the upside though, I feel a sick sort of satisfaction that she is trying to move the wedding further back now- something about the groom to be not being adult enough for her tastes. And there's rumors that it'll all be called off in it's entirety.
I'm a horrible sister but I HATE that I didn't get to have this time for me- especially if the wedding is off.
Oh yeah- and my parents HALVED the budget they'd been saving for my wedding (remember they knew it was comming) and gave my sister half since we were getting married in the same year.
Now that her wedding is on the rocks- my parents are certain taht I can "make do" on just half- since I'd been planning that anyways... When my fiancee and I are contributing TWICE what they are to the wedding.
Zilla the Second
Houston, TX Wednesday, January 29, 2003
Bridezilla in the making:
My mom invited all of my dad's patients (he's a dentist) to our wedding. I'm getting calls from people who are asking who the heck I am and why am I inviting them to my wedding. She sent out her own invitations without our knowledge with suggestions on what to give us as presents. I have been apologizing to the whole lot of them and telling them that my mother will soon be committed to an institution. Yeah - I really said that. On top of that my future sister in law saw this NEAT (sarcasm) dress at a goodwill and hey why not?? bought it for me. She's really hurt that I'm not wearing it. Yeah well it's a size 48 fat and I'm a 6 anyway - get a clue. I'm trying to talk him into eloping. He's thinking it would be good. I'm thinking I won't kill someone if we do.
Wednesday, January 29, 2003
A month and a half before my wedding my mother changed my entire order including my gown. My beautiful victorian wedding was turned into a hippie-dress wearing fest with lounge lizard blue tuxes (blue metallic ties!)and a cheap spandex and irredescent tafetta bridal dress, which looked like a tube top with a skirt sewn on at the last minute. Her whole reasoning: "Well - you were going to spend the whole $9000 weren't you???" Duh.
So what did I do? I had the guys wear jeans and white T-shirts, and the girls (dressed in bright blue t-shirt fabric halter dresses) went barefoot with flowers in their hair. I hired two flute players and two ballerinas, dressed them all like fairies (wings and all) and had them leaping, playing and throwing dead flower petals down the center aisle before I walked down. I wore my grandmother's dress, which was nice but not what I wanted - very generic basque waist, mutton sleeve deal with tons of froufrou.
My mom was pissed! What did she expect - my sister got married the year before and she spent $40,000 on her wedding, but did this to me.
The marriage only lasted a couple of years anyway.
Now I'm married to a CEO - we eloped.
And oh yeah - I wouldn't take it back for all the world.
Wednesday, January 29, 2003
This is to the poor "trying to please the monster" bride. Two words for you: Give. Up. I was married once before, about 6 years ago. The marriage didn't last, but that's another story. My mother didn't like ANYTHING we did while planning the thing. We both paid for everything, and yet she put her two cents in every chance she got. We wanted "stations" at our reception. Well, that would be bad because it would make my grandfather (her father) feel awkward and embarrassed as he walked around to all the stations to get food. He would feel like everyone was watching how much he was eating. What?! He does it every Sunday at Old Country Buffet, what difference does it make? So, we had the sit-down meal. She thought $500 was WAY too much money to spend on a DJ, and suggested my younger brother make a tape of our favorite songs and bring a boom box. (Luckily, on that one I did not give in.) I wanted a cake that had a different flavor for each layer. Well, no, that was a bad idea because what if Uncle so-and-so wanted the carrot cake and by the time they got to him, there was no carrot cake left? And FINALLY, when she gave me a list of her friends and co-workers to invite, and I requested that she foot the bill for their meals and booze, since it was out of our budget, she replied, "Well, then, if we pay for their meals, we get to keep whatever gifts they bring." I kid you not.
Happy ending - I'm getting married in two weeks (to someone absolutely wonderful, but that's a different story) and she does not even know. We're having a "suprise" wedding. She thinks she's coming to an engagement party that some friends are throwing for us. Oh yes, and we're having stations.
Not trying to please the monster
Wednesday, January 29, 2003
What did people think of Bridezilla? I swear those men had no spines. How about the chick who whined about the 15k necklace "that she loved it so" and groom bought it. Or the bride who had 6 dress fittings and then freaked on the catering coordinator b/c she (the bride) didn't read the contract properly. I swear I am going to have a luau wedding in the backyard complete with plastic leis rather then be these greedy obsessive broads.
PS. Hope they do another one soon! Let the mocking begin!
Someday Bride to be
Wednesday, January 29, 2003
this was the dumbest show on tv....the men on this show are even dumber for hooking up with these women..
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
Okay - I'm not even engaged yet. My love and I have been living together a little over 6 months now, and we know an engagement will be this year, and while I would like a more specific time, I will let him have his 'tackle you from behind never see it coming' proposal. The compromise was that I picked out the engagement ring to be purchased sometime (??) before the afore-mentioned out-of-the-blue-movie-romantic proposal. Which, is fine. The ring, by the way, will feature the center diamond of which I already own (currently set in a ring my mother gave me for the use of the diamond when the time comes). So I gave him the ring, so I may never know when the engagement one has been bought and set. In a way, this is fine with me, less stress of wondering 'when?when?why not now?'. Unitl..... several months ago we planned an overseas vacation, for no other reason than the price is right. Yes, I admit, it occurred to me that this might be the perfect time for him to propose, but whatever. I was HAPPY and NOT OBSESSED with the not knowing. Then, I overheard him on the phone with his mother say that he was "planning on asking a special lady a certain question on our vacation, and you approve?" !!! I didn't want to know!! Now I'll be wondering the whole time, 'is it now?' and if he doesn't - did he change his mind?? To top it off, I found out where he keeps the diamond-ring-to-be (I SWEAR by accident) - and now, I have decided to check the day before the trip to see if the diamond is still there - if it is I will know not to expect a proposal. Is this horrible? This isn't me!!! I swear!! And the second worst part is.... I have already decided on the style of the wedding, a loose guest list, the venue, the cake and the design of my dress. I have never felt so insane in my life. I feel I can't objectively decide whether or not to see if the diamond is gone, nor can I tear myself away from the planning! HELP ME!!! I don't want to be Bridezilla before I'm even a BRIDE!!
CA Tuesday, January 28, 2003
I must admit to some smugness. After stressing for a while over ceremony/reception sites, we found two LOVELY places about 4 minutes' walk from each other that are not only subway-accessible but will require only the most minimal decoration to look perfect. Then last weekend I found a gorgeous dress for $400 (my friend is a seamstress and will do the alterations). My 'maids have also found a dress they all like for $45. So far everything has been CHEAPER than we thought it would be. Tee hee! Doesn't hurt that all my married friends' rings are nowhere close to as pretty as mine either... mine is small and elegant... and I quite deserve to be slapped across the face, because I know they've been happy with their rings, weddings and marriages! What a brat. I try to keep the smirking inside.
the discount bride
Cambridge, MA Tuesday, January 28, 2003
My now ex-mother-in-law brought two dates to my wedding and wore a black, low cut backless tuxedo dress which blessedly came with a jacket. While we were waiting to be introduced at the reception, I noticed she had taken the jacket off and was going to march in there half-naked. I screetched at her to put her jacket on!
I also fired my caterer (good friend of my ex-mother-in-law) two weeks before the wedding when she called and asked me "where can you order a really big roast?"
I also threatened my nazi photograher with my tossing bouquet.
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
Let me count the things...1.Saying yes to the friggin groom. 2.Inviting the grooms tacky and cheap friggin family. 3.Having a drug addict slut as my maid of honor with her ripoff cousin in charge of the limos...should I go on?
Selina-Marie Spadola <email>
Inwood, NY Monday, January 27, 2003
If it weren't for one of my bridesmaids and her mother, I would have had a stress free planning of my wedding. I was engaged on my birthday and we decided to marry 4 months later. Mom and I thought we needed to buckle down and really start planning. By the beginning of December we were pretty much done and the wedding isn't until the end of February. We were very happy about that just because that gave us the chance to sit back and look over everything to make sure we did it all. Of course, one of my bridesmaids got pregnant. That wouldn't have been bad at all but I had just told my sister-in-law about a week before that I thought I would just have her be out of the bridal party because she was also pregnant. Well, not wanting to cause turmoil in the family, I called up my bridesmaid and explained my situation to her and asked if it was okay for her to help serve or something. She calmly said yes. But then complained to her mother who in turn called my mom and got all whiny about it devastating her. Keep in mind that I hardly ever talk to the girl but had her in my wedding anyways. The bridesmaid and her mother never considered the fact of my pregnant sister in law. She only cared about her precious daughter. So I finally put her back in and luckily my gracious and sweet S.I.L. didn't care. So everything should be fine now. YEAH RIGHT! My maid of honor was going to have my personal shower and my sis in law wanted to help. That worked out great because my M.O.H. lives in another city and could use her house. That upset that "same bridesmaid" because she wanted to have that shower or another one. Now I don't know all that many people and didn't want to invite the same people over and over again and look like I was greedy. So I turned down the other shower and said that I was sorry but also had to turn down another shower too. So she said that she would like to help with the personal shower. I told her she would have to get with the people doing it because I had no idea what was going on. That same day I invited her to a bridal fair and invited her mother to the personal shower. Well, a week later the fair came around and she didn't show up. Her mother called my mom and said that she didn't think she was wanted or invited! That ticked me off but I got over it. Well, the personal shower invitations went out. All it had on it was that it was a personal shower, the date, time and address. Never showed who was hosting it. Oh and the mother of the bridesmaid accidentally was left off of the list. I didn't think it was that bad because I had already told her about it and invited her personally. Well, she calls my mom whining again that she thought that the girls didn't want her there. Oh and that she and the bridesmaid was upset because she thought she was going to help with the shower. IT NEVER SAID WHO WAS HOSTING!!!!! I can't get it thru their thick skulls. Oh, and she had never called them to ask if she could help so the other two girls had no idea if she still wanted to or not. I have been planning this wedding around my bridesmaid and her mother for almost 3 months now and sick of it. I even told my mother that if the bridesmaid didn't show up at the wedding I didn't care. I'm tired of catering to them. Its MY wedding dang it, I should be able to do what I want to do and not worry about everyone else. Is that selfish of me?
ticked off bride
Monday, January 27, 2003
Is it bad to worry about what your future mother in law will wear to the wedding? Is it even worse to worry about what my fiance's sisters will wear? This summer one of them said I was "dressed up" and I was wearing capris and a t-shirt!! I'm telling my fiance that his dad should wear a tux. No, it's not that they can't afford it - it just doesn't occur to them.
Horrible Awful Bride
Monday, January 27, 2003
am i a total bridezilla or what!!! My wedding is in a little over 2 weeks, and this summer, my aunt and cousin are both getting married this summer and thats all they talk to me about!!! HELLO!!! I am the only one who has been planning for a year and a half!! they just announced their engagements this november and dec. This is MY wedding, and i do not need to hear about THEM!!!!
Im so awful.
Houston, Tx Monday, January 27, 2003
I'm not going to have a big facny wedding, because neither one of us want that. Instead, we are going to go to the judge on our birthday (we were born on the same day!) with my mother and a few friends, then have a small reception afterwards for the rest of the family and our friends. I've been very proud with the way I've handled the plans for my marriage to my beloved- except for one thing. The rings! We wanted to go shopping together to pick them out, and upon my instance, split the cost of the rings in half if mine costs more. Well, we went ring shopping, and he found his ring in the Very first store we entered! Very simple, 14k white gold band with a swirl pattern on it. MY ring however, took WEEKS to find! Everything in our budget was too "classic" or too "silly"! Every ring I looked at and liked was At Least a few hundred dollars too much! I could tell he was getting weary but always had a smile on his face and always put up with me. Finally, though, I found it! It is a lovely 14k White Gold band, with 5 small diamonds surrounded by a swirl of white gold (so it goes along with his). I feel bad for putting my love through all of that, but he's happy I'm happy, and I love my ring. I can't wait until he puts it on my finger! Its just a few weeks away.
Saturday, January 25, 2003
I have to admit to some unattractive smugness on my part. My wonderful husband and I eloped, and spent less than $100 dollars on our wedding, due to our unshakeable belief that THE MARRIAGE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE WEDDING. I read these horror stories from so many of you regarding family feuds, firing bridesmaids, lying to your husbands about the costs of dresses, etc. and I am SO GLAD that I never got sucked into the wedding machine.
Saturday, January 25, 2003
Also my other good friend announced she's getting married 3 weeks after mine I think it's pretty mean b/c we'll just be getting back from our honeymoon and we had our date picked for months before she picked hers. I just wish it was mos. later not weeks and her wedding is also on a Friday.
Friday, January 24, 2003
Well I don't like to call myself a bridezilla but I have done some dumb things in the past 9 mos. of planning and my wedding is still 6 mos away. We got engaged on my b-day last year and immediately I had to get our place reserved b/c they book over a year in advance. So I dragged my fiance to our site a week after we got engaged luckily we both loved it and the following weekend brought our parents. We had labor day weekend in mind Friday evening. We thought we were doing travelers a service planning it on a holiday weekend so they could make a long weekend out of it and also because a lot of companys give half day fridays before labor day. Well my soon to be MIL disagreed and basically they stated their disagreement in our date choice as we're about sign sign the papers to book our place. I stared at my finace in disbelief like if she had a problem with this why is she waiting till I am about to sign to say she has a problem with it. Aslo they made a point to say well just so you know a lot of our relatives won't be coming b/c you're having it on a friday and it's an hour away from their homes. Mind you a cousin of his is getting married 8 hours away 3 weeks after us and no one said anything. Anyway so I got really upset and then it was just awkward silence. We went ahead and booked the date. Later we changed the date to the July 25 weekend b/c we got nervous about traffic conditions and such. She got her way on one thing but pretty much everything else I have tried to stand my ground on. They have not contributed much money. They made a point to tell us we should wait till after his younger brother graduates from college (3 years later) so they would be able to do more. Are you kidding I am not going to be engaged the whole time. It's frustrating b/c I bite my tongue sometimes it's better than confronting the situation. With his family it can make things worse. Also I have lost my ex-best friend during the wedding planning I realized she was not the person I thought she was. My mom and I offered to pay for her dress initially she doesn't have much money we didn't want that to be the reason she couldn't be in the wedding and I thought things were ok and then a few mos later she said to me are you in love with Jeremy or the wedding and I went ape sh** on her we had it out and I couldn't believe her actions. I was willing to bend over backwards to make things easy for her she didn't have to worry about the shower my mom would do it and it still didn't matter. I think weddings bring out the best and worst in people I ended up asking my roomate from college Steph to be my MOH and it was the best decision I could have made she has been so great about everything. Anyway pretty much everything in my wedding is perfect thus far we have our place, a great photograhper a beautiful dress and veil, a cool band and great people to share it with. I have read some people say just elope and make it easier but for us we really wanted a fairy tale dream wedding and that's what we're going to have. Thanks for reading. Things are better with the MIL I just don't ask her opinion much besides she isn't paying for anything. See there comes the bridezilla. She really is a nice lady just a little controlling and this is my day to shine. We are working our as*es off to save for it so it should be what we want.
ok enough for now!
CT Friday, January 24, 2003
I am sharing for a good friend who is fighting the bridezilla notion with some success. Her mother on the other hand is another story. So far she has spent $5,000 out of the $11,000 that bride's maternal grandmother gave her to give to bride. And at the florist the other day she said, "when I walk down the aisle, I want to look perfect." We all dropped out jaws and the florist had to say, "Don't you mean when your DAUGHTER walks down the aisle." She did not even notice. Monster mama
friend of the bride
Friday, January 24, 2003
So, My wedding is coming up here in a couple of weeks (3), and My cousin, who has been my rock, and wedding planner for a YEAR, announces she too will be wed this year in July. Mind you, she just met this guy not even 2 months ago, but has to steal my spotlight with everyone talking about HER wedding and they have forgotten about MINE!
I am a creep
Houston, Tx Friday, January 24, 2003
I lied to my "Damn-it-they-are- always-late-and-they-are-NOT-going to-ruin-my-wedding-day or the Wedding pictures!" In-laws (yep, the Parents and all three of his baby sisters [who were already pissed over not being asked to be bridesmaids])about what time the photographer was starting to take pictures before the wedding. That way, when they arrived late, they would actually be "Almost" on time, and wouldn't wreck my day. It worked, and they didn't have a clue.
St. Louis, MO Thursday, January 23, 2003
To that other girl, about cutting her hair-No! that is not a bridezilla thing!
anyway, this is my confession...
I feel like I am planning EVERYTHING. My fiancee says all he has to do is show up, and im beginging to think that is what is lying ahead for me....
Thursday, January 23, 2003
Ok, I need some advice. I would love to cut my hair short again before my wedding (May) but my mom loves my hair the length it is. I love it short and it is something that I am very comfortable with and I also would not need to get my hair styled the day of my wedding then. My fiance doesn't care, but I don't want to break my mom's heart. Am I being a Bridezilla?
Thursday, January 23, 2003
Oy Vey, My marraige to Henry Van Buren... During my 8 mos prep before the marriage ceremony I went through rages... nothing was the right size, the right colour, pattern, or design. This was just the beginning of my problems during the long process before the "big" show. Not only was Henry not present for most of the decisions, which pissed me off- but he also was a jerk about what I should do with the money instead. I was already living with him, feeling the same boredom each day as he did. Our sex life was going down the tubes, and there was nothing that great and exciting about our lives any more. We knew each other's secrets and lifetime goals, achievements and dreams like the backs of each other's hands.
I told him finally that it was every girl's right to dream. A big wedding is so glamorous and shows how much he loves me. As I said that with a twinkle in my eye, he grimaced at me with a look of "Oh god- not another one of her fantasies..."
During the entire 8 mos, through all the fighting and bickering I found myself to be a horrid wretch. I wanted and wanted, everything had to be MY way or the high way. I told people to piss off and to shove it- get my drift?
I was furious to find out that my groom had slept with my cousin the night before the wedding, but decided to wed him anyhow- because I felt he really did love me... and I didn't want to ruin our 4 year engagement. From my knowledge I don't think he had ever cheated on me before....
The night I found out I slapped him so hard that I ran out the door and hid in a shed in the garden and wept. It drove him nuts looking for me in the cold autumm air, since our wedding was to be in October with the nippy air and nearly frozen tears rolling down my cheeks. We faught the entire night before and neither of us slept when I came inside after about an hour.
On the day of the wedding we went our seperate ways. He took with his family and best men in their mobile, and I with my bridesmaids gathered in my parent's house.
We did our make-up and hair, but nothing seemed to be right for any of us. Someone had either delivered all the wrong dresses, or the men did a prank on us- we thought. In anger I called Henry up and demanded to know where all of our gowns were. He denied knowing anything wrong had happened.
2 hours later, and only 1 hour before the ceremony we get a call from his brother James, "They delivered the gowns to our parent's house." I was so mad at James for not remembering to call me earlier, he said he forgotten because his mom was venting out about some ridiculous catering problem. She thought the caterers we hired weren't good enough because the French restaraunt we adore just wasn't posh enough.
Since I wanted to get married in a tree while I was a child, only with a friend and my groom present-having to decide on an actual place was disasterous. Everyone thought their idea was best. I wanted to elope, sooooo badly. But mother insisted that a regular ceremony with her in my life would be best. I felt like such a civil individual.
I decided on a justice of the peace, on the beach. I didn't want anything fancy, and we knew of a nice hotel in the area that I could be outside with the guests. The location was marvelous.
Anyhow, during the ceremony my heel broke. I fell face first and my train (of the dress) got ripped. I had to buy the rented gown and get the shoes repaired later. Not only was that embarassing and unforgettable, but I resented every moment of being in public in front of friends, family, and hired help.
As we got into the limo my dress got caught in the door. I don't wear such long trained dresses very often, and this became apparent.
The honeymoon was awful. Henry didn't want to step foot out of the hotel room. He was being so tight about money, I wanted to cry. The island we were at was so beautiful that it almost made me want to gag that he was so plain.
His excuse, "Why pay for a good hotel room and not get the use of it?" Typical male complaint, huh? We did end up in the hotel room the entire time, though. All in all, I was probably the biggest bitch because I am so neurotic about every detail. I wanted it to be so picture perfect that it ended up not being.
I did realize some attractive traits that I had forgotten about him during the process of the marraige however. After seeing him in a tuxedo for the first time, Hank was actually kindof sexy.
We are together, after marriage, 6 years.... still I feel my wedding was the worst of all my friends. Everyone else had such a perfectly calm wedding, but they argue, and say it isn't so. Nothing went right probably because the ceremony in the tree would have been just ideal for us. lol
Ebony Van Buren
CA Thursday, January 23, 2003
My future MIL keeps saying how she want's to help with the wedding. She says she won't interfere but will just do what we ask. Well I asked her to come and she the wedding gown I had purchased. She cancelled at the last minute with no reason. We ended uprescheduling about a month later and she cancled again. Finally on our third try (I think mostely becasue I invited 2 future sister-in-laws too) she made it to see the dress. It drives me crazy the way she keeps cancelling. The frequently does this and not just for wedding stuff. She once tried to cancele Thanksgiving dinner at the last minute(she gave us three different excuses that time). I don't necessarly mind when people have to cancle but at least try to give some notice or have a decent excuse.
Wish MIL Would Make Up Her Mind
Ontaro, Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Please forgive me I've been a brat! I love my mom very much but it seems without the intervention of HER best friend this would have been mom's wedding!!! Anyway Chris & I wanted to get married on the beach in NC - Mom's says "No - should be closer to home for your relatives" OK - closer to home it is - do all the planning and then this is not ok then that is not ok. Well then the whole thing is not ok with Chris & I and who are all these people she's inviting? Only Chris's parents will be there from his family and mom wants to invite her whole office!!! So I tell mom we're unhappy with plans and really want the beach. So all the planning is down the tubes and I have to start over. sigh. ok. So I find another venue and caterer then mom is unhappy about sleeping arrangements- so we change them to make her smile - NO smile. All we want is to pay for the hotel rooms for the bridal party since they will have to travel a long way. Mom says she is not paying for a party for our friends. BUT she was willing to pay for a party for her friends!?! I'm sorry please forgive me... but IT'S MY WEDDING!! We have worked things out - with several interventions of friends and family but I'm still nervous I will disappoint mom - I want to make her happy but I want us to be happy too!
Trying to please the Momster!!
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
My fiances brother and his wife are totally materialistic, self centered money obsessed creatins. Their sole reason for being is to criticize other people and other peoples belongings. Kinda funny since brother can't hold a job but back to the confession. A couple of years ago, future sister in law lost her wedding and engagement rings at work. They weren't anything expensive and not that terribly pretty but she liked them and I did feel very sad for her. I have since received my beautiful, one of a kind ring from my fiance and constantly get complemented on it from everyone EXCEPT future bro and sister in law. Not that I care that they like it or not, but when they saw it for the first time, they both kind of turned up their noses and acted like my ring smelled bad or something. They replaced her rings with what they claim is a certified diamond, flawless, high grade, blah blah blah. It's small, under half a carat but oh how he bragged about how its certified and they have papers on it (papers I might add that NO ONE has actually seen) and its perfect and so on. As of the last time we saw them, it was turning black. Some certified diamond this turned out to be. I just can't help but be inwardly gloating about this because of how they have treated me in the past.
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Ok, after getting engaged in England and flying back, I'd only been in the country 1 day, jet-lagged, my fiancee mentions that at his bachelor party he has had his friends threaten to shave his head. Never mind the fact his is already balding and he has hair down his back to his waist. But heah, I had the image of a spiky bald fellow at the altar and lost it to a water fountain release of tears. Did I mention the jet-lag and the fact we are both wide awake at 3am? So he goes and calls one of his friends in charge and mentions how he has me in tears and that he needs to assure me his head would not be shaved.
Did I mention the co-worker had a sick wife too that night? Well, I did call up and appologize to both of them.
I just wonder, it's only been 2 1/2 weeks. The date is set in July. Can I get through this?
Does this bridezilla thing happen to us all?
Silicon Valley, CA Tuesday, January 21, 2003
After getting engaged and agreeing to get married in the South (I'm originally from the North) the fighting has begun. I'm Catholic and actively practice my faith. My fiancee was raised Baptist, but at the age of 18 he stopped participating and his family doesn't even attend service at all. I have had many complaints because we are having a traditional Nuptial Mass in the church I belong to in the town I live. They say it is soooooo long to sit through and that how will everything go. When I try to explain it is like they have never experience anything other than a Baptist service! Next to the reception, I do not want my reception to begin right after the ceremony, but my fiancee does, so the two of us compromised and were happy. Well then, the future MIL says that she wants it 4-10 and my poor fiancee is put between a hysterical me and a demandin mother. What is a poor boy to do? Although we have finally resolved the issue, I do not want my future MIL involved in any other decisions other than what her corsage will look like!
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
Although my mom is a widow and she has been thru a very tough economical situation, she has saved money and is giving it to us for our wedding. We can buy most of the furniture we need with her gift.
On the other hand, my parents in law are divorced. His father has never helped him in any way (financial or other)and we are pretty sure he won't give us anything for the occassion. His mother, although she needs the money, has stopped looking for a job a couple of years ago. She is spending her savings and always complains she doesn't have enough money. She has decided to give us the wedding rings, which cost less than a 10% of my mom's gift and are something personal I would like to choose (instead of having her choosing them for me!).
I cannot help but being angry at her. She has recently bought an awesome car, re-decorated her kitchen, bought a new computer and she cannot afford anything else???
My mom works like a dog, doesn't have a car, hasn't done anything to her kitchen (although she would love to) for years but can give us a decent present. I can't help but compare both cases. The problem is that I can't say anything to my Fi about that since he admires his mom above everything else for having raised him without the help of his father.
So that's my sin! I think my mother-in-law is being cheap with us and she should get a job instead of always complaining just to see if my fi and I send her some cash.
Expressing my thoughts
South America, Thursday, January 16, 2003
my mom said she would pay for engraved invitations. i went to order them today and stupidly called her with the price quote from the store. she said no way-- and now it's thermography for us. i din't say anything, but i am so pissed and disappointed. if you're spending tens of thousands of dollars anyway, why not spend $500 more for the nicest invitations? grrrr. (keep in mind i've been feeling really guilty about how much my parents are spending (since i'm not a total bridezilla)- yet i still want top quality everything!!!!!)
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
I've had two Bridezilla moments.
1. I got engaged in May 2001 and had decided to wait to tell a number of close friends until I could do it in person which would be at Christmas. The following October I got a call from my oldest friend (we have know each other since the age of 8) telling me she had just gotten engaged. My first reaction and I am not proud of this was to call her a b!&@#. I was so jealous. I didn't want to share the spot light. Then during the course of the conversation I decided to tell her that I was engaged and that my FH and I would be tying the knot in May 2003. All went along fine until I saw her at Christmas when she told me she had set her date for three weeks after mine. I was so mad. How could she steel the limelight away from me! Fortunately due to venue restraints we will not be getting married until August now. My plans are going smoothly and she hasnt even started planning. I know it's not a good thing to wish someone ill but in this case I'm so happy my wedding is going to be better then hers!
2. I am the youngest in my family and as such was never able to be the first to do something. Last to drive, last to graduate etc. So when I met my FH I though great, he's the oldest. Now I'll be able to be first for something, even it it's not with my family. Well I was devastated when his brother (who is four years younger) had a baby with his girlfriend (first grandchild!) I cried for hours. Then I got engaged and things were looking up. I was thrilled to be marring the man of my dreams and there didn't seem to have any wedding bells in their future (MY FH's brother's gf had told me she never wanted to get married!). You can imagine my horror when they got engaged six months later. I know I have no right to be upset but just once I wanted to be first at something. It's now a year later and there are still no wedding plans in progress for them and I couldn't be happier. I however keep having nightmares about them eloping the week before my wedding and thus having the spotlight on me diminish.
At least the only one I've confessed this jealous rage to is my FH. Hope I can bite my tongue for another eight months.
Toronto, ON Tuesday, January 14, 2003
One of my bridesmaids dropped out of the wedding after accepting and several months had gone by...something about having to save for a house. Hello, wouldn't you know if you were going to save for a house before you agree to be in the wedding party? Now the balance between ushers and b-maids is all off kilter! That and my feelings are hurt because she just left the issue hanging- no formal closure or anything! Plus one of the ushers just backed out for financial reasons- and he had his girlfriend, my SO's sister break the news! How LAME is that! Why I am surrounded by freaks! I've been minding my manners as best as I can, but one more thing like this and I may just snap!
Time to go do deep breathign exercises.....
Sunday, January 12, 2003
In one day I spent 5 hours online browsing through wedding websites. More entertaining/informative than bride magazines, just as obsessive.
Glued to Web
Saturday, January 11, 2003
I just can't tell you how disappointed I was when I signed up with that Ultimate Wedding site.
UW just disgusted me when I started reading about all those brides who wanted MONEY and lots of ot.
I mean, all I want for my wedding dance is gift cards. How crass is that?
Saturday, January 11, 2003
My FH has a younger brother that is still in high school and because it is my FH's only other sibling, he thought it necessary to name him the Best Man. My FH and his brother are not close and can't even be in a room with each other for more than an hour without my FH yelling at him for something. My FH asked my numerous times if he should have his brother be the best man and although I was praying everyday that he wouldn't ask his annoying little brother to accept the honor, I kept my mouth shut and told him it was a decision he had to make on his own. I get absolutely stressed out around his little brother. He is a typical small town, thinks he's better than everyone, bleached blond, cocky little high school shit! My FH said he would ask him because he really thought he had to. Well, two nights ago, I asked my FH if he had asked his brother yet and he told me no. I had to make my move because not only will I not trust his brother to hold my beautiful wedding ring, I have this vision of him throwing the biggest tantrum on my wedding day. I convinced my FH to ask his best friend who is already married to fill the shoes of the best man. I also have a secret hatred for his parents who have insisted on paying for part of the wedding, but have yet to "show me the money!" or even offer to "show me the money" My parents have paid for absolutely everything. So, in revenge, my FH and I are planning a very eloborate rehearsal dinner and inviting 50+ people. I don't think I have sounded more like a spoiled ass bitch in my life. I am ashamed.
I'M THE BRIDE!
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
My best friend just got engaged and her ring isn't as nice as mine. I am so happy I could spit.
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
I've only got a few months to go, so only one or two bridezilla moments sounds pretty good to me.
My FI thinks that everyone he ever met is his best friend and has to be invited to our wedding. I'm ready to strangle him. He keeps saying - We'll get it back, my friends give money. Hello, this is not the point! First, they don't give that damn much money. second, I want some of MY friends to be invited too! Then, he doesn't want to pay for anything. I've paid for lots of stuff with my own money but if I ask him he whines. ASS!!!
Ok. I think I feel better now.
Zilla in training
FL Wednesday, January 08, 2003
I'm taking up the entire weekend! My mom and MOH are from out-of-town (WAY out-of-town) so we are having the shower on Friday. Then my wedding party has to come to my house for the rehearsal on Saturday. AND THEN the wedding is on Sunday. Everyone has assured me that "whatever I want" is Ok and my dad said he likes the idea of having something to do before the wedding. BUT I still feel a little like a bridezilla especially since my MIL offered to pay for a nice rehearsal dinner with out-of-town guests invited, but I'd rather spend that money on the wedding so we are having a private rehearsal in the afternoon and providing beer and pizza for the bridal party only. Also, I know all the traveling will be an inconvenience for my fi's sister and brother-in-law who are in the wedding. I'm feeling a bit greedy.
Tuesday, January 07, 2003
I must confess, although I try to act like Ms. Down With the Wedding Industry and Outdated Traditions and Gender Preconceptions, I've had a few Bridezilla moments.
1. I buy any and all wedding magazines. Even the big-ass Bride's magazine which is full of photos of apple-cheeked 19-year olds wearing big poofy dresses. I buy them and then I complain about how they don't have anything helpful for a thirty-something hipster bride wearing a slinky dress.
2. It bothers me that my fiance's parents have not offered to pay for anything and that they recently suggested having the rehearsal dinner in a pizza parlor. The trend among all of my friends has been to have a big rehearsal dinner for the wedding party, family and all of out-of-towns guests. Although I know that my future-in-laws are completely unaware of this trend (and when it comes down to it, even I think it's a little over the top), it still bothers me that they aren't considering a big shindig for the rehearsal dinner.
3. Whenever my parents try to make suggestions for changes in our plans that are different from what I want, I cry until they let me have my way. My parents are paying for the entire wedding with some minor assistance from my fiance and I. They've also been incredibly understanding and open to all of the nontraditional aspects of the wedding.
I'm a terrible person.
bridezilla who acts like she's not
San Francisco, CA Tuesday, January 07, 2003
My brother recently got engaged -- we will both have weddings out of the country for which our families will have to trek to parts previously unknown, but while we are having an expensive wedding (paid for mainly by his family) and an expensive party back in the US (paid for mainly by my family), theirs will be simple and inexpensive and unpretentious and it's making me realize what an extravagance that second party is. It's at a private club that was my dream wedding site (and meaningful to fiance as well) and it's totally indulgent. Plus, doing it on a Saturday night instead of a Friday cost twice as much money. I keep trying to tell myself that it's okay because we are paying 1/3 of the total of both events, and they don't know as many people back in our US location. But still, I feel like I am demanding more attention and expense than is warranted and I feel a real weight on me over this.
California Tuesday, January 07, 2003
My future in-laws are paying for the entire wedding. They have money and my family does not. At this point I want it to be just the way my MIL wants it..After all without them, I wouldn't be having a wedding at all. God, please keep me from becomming the Ungrateful Bridezilla. So far, so good, but the wedding is 200 days away.
Tuesday, January 07, 2003
The first time I was a bridesmaid, I was 17. I was the MOH, and I admit to being whiny about not really liking the dress she paid for. (It is actually a pretty dress and I can and have worn it again, but I was self-conscious and it showed my tummy fat a bit) I also was a cranky with a Mary Kay woman who came to give us a free makeup party (they do that to try and get you to buy their stuff) and give us ideas. I was tired, as I had been to a prom the night before, and I was NOT a makeup person and she kept trying to put makeup on me that I did not feel looked good or natural on me. I still feel bad about how cranky I was.
I am going to be a bridesmaid again in two weeks. I dont' think I've whined at all... I would hope my freind agrees. Fortunately, my freind is not a bridezilla in the least. Our dresses are gorgeous and can most definetely be worn again. (Her mom suggested we all go to the opera together so we can wear our dresses) I've defientely learned how to be a bridesmaid from my first experience, and I hope all future weddings I am part of (I'm sure there will be at least two more at the rate things are going) will be as plesant as this current one!
Monday, January 06, 2003
I was in one of my bridesmaid's weddings this weekend. She met this guy in April while my FH was asking dad for my hand. I've been with FH for 3 1/2 years, she's been with this guy for 9 months. So the bridezilla in me was kinda put off that she was getting married before me. But it gave me some satisfaction to see how unorganized and insane her wedding was. That's what she gets for having a 4 month engagement to a guy she barely knows. I'm mean, huh?
Monday, January 06, 2003
Yesterday was my shower. It was beautiful, my friends were amazing at getting everyone together, and managed to keep it a surprise. My mother did not speak to anyone at the shower, I noticed she was in a bad mood but chose to ignore her and enjoy my day...when it came time to open gifts, there was no present from her. I was so overwhelmed by the love I was shown by everyone else, I honestly did not notice. After it was over, I drove to my brother's house, as I walked in the door smiling and happy, I heard her in the basement screaming that I had deliberately embarrassed her by not telling her to bring a gift (we don't usually do showers in my culture) when I pointed out that I didn't know about the shower to warn her, she went off on a tirade about everyone I have done with the wedding so far that has irritated her. Instead of being mature about it, I let loose. In fact, I'll be totally honest, I called her a bitch. Several times.
Monday, January 06, 2003
I must confess, I tried to be good. But I managed to plan an escape from the rehearsal dinner (the first time both my family and the hubby's family had been all together in one place). A friend of mine picked me up and took me off to another friend's house where we drank wine and ate chocolate. And my poor hubby had to entertain the troops for several hours. I didn't come back home until they were all gone.
Minneapolis, mn Friday, January 03, 2003
I need to stop going to the Knot.com, that little count down thing is making me nuts, my dear future hubby is pissing me off.."we're all done right?" NO, love of my life, NO. It will all be done after the wedding is over. He is so relaxed, so mellow, great for him but let's face reality, if it had all been left up to him, nothing would be done yet. Hormones are not helping this either but at least I won't have that to worry about on the day...
Thursday, January 02, 2003
I really want a shower. I want a party thrown in my honor that I do not have to plan. I just want to show up, eat, have everyone pay attention to me, and give me presents. Because my MOH and 3 bridesmaids live all over the US, I don't think it's going to happen and I feel sorry for myself. Is that pathetic or what?
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
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