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How about groomzilla? We went to do the registry thing this weekend, and one of the things we really wanted was this little porcelain votive holder from Bernardaud that is really beautiful when the candle is lit - too hard to explain. Look at http://www.macys.com/compare/index.ognc?ciid=89⦶=65782&cmid;=4374&ccid;=11310 to see what I mean, but none of those are the patterns we picked. Anyway, there's one that is very sweet with a bride and groom, cake, wineglasses, etc. So I suggested we get that one, and his immediate and decisive response was "No, let's get the butterflies." He then walked off and got the cashier to find one he could scan and added it to the registry.
Now, for background, said fiance is the sweetest boy on earth and caters to me an awful lot. But he's also an artist/designer, so has very set opinions on such things. This has made registry stuff a bit "interesting" at times, and I was worn down from all the discussion all day.
I really wanted the bride and groom one, because I thought it would be a nice keepsake from our wedding. But he had been so decisive about not getting it that I just spazzed and stood there unable to speak. He turned around and saw me with tears welling up and face turning red and immediately realized what he'd done. Poor boy felt guilty beyond belief, hugged me and said nononono, let's get the wedding one, too and grabbed the guy to scan that one, also. In the end it worked out OK, but I have been teasing him since then that the one thing I REALLY wanted I had to cry to get!
Oh well, he may be visual-arts-groomzilla, but he's my groomzilla and I love him! :-D
Betseeee
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
My MIL has become obsessed with organizing and reorganizing certain aspects of the wedding, namely the traveling and boarding arrangements. As a result, I have become insta-nag anytime I hear her name. It's like a Pavlovian response now - hear the name, then sigh and prepare for another bout of martyrdom. The real problem is that my audience is always either my mother or the groom. Not exactly my most shining moment. Instead of keeping my mouth shut, I continue to bad mouth MIL even after I know that venting will not fix the problem. Also nagged Fiance about being a lazy-a@@ about the wedding preparations. Probably could have expressed my feelings a little more diplomatically, but I actually did feel good about that one, so I'm not ashamed about it as much as I should be.
CowardlyLion
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
To Insidia, I would encourage your friend to back out of the wedding. Two years of dating constitutes an established couple. Ettiquette says that you are required to invite partners of established couples. It would be a different story if her boyfriend was someone she had just met. I'm sure given the reverse circumstances, the bride would certainly have wanted to bring her significant other. Come on, what's the cost of one more person, $100? Bridesmaid dresses are twice that, not to mention shoes, hair, etc. The bride is being selfish and an incredible cheapskate. Who needs friends like that?
Sierra
Tuesday, September 17, 2002
Heel-dragging Fiance Part II: Okay...so guess what "relax" boy has been up to the past two weekends? No...not planning our honeymoon (since our wedding is only 6 weeks away one would think it a priority)...and no...not getting his passport (ditto)...he's been taking motorcycle safety classes! God knows getting a motorcycle license and bike is MUCH more important than wedding plans! Great...we're getting married and he's having his mid-life crisis at the same time...how lucky can one woman get? (Disclaimer: I really do love this guy and we're quite happy; he finds it humorous when I post his numerous shortcomings)
Barbara
Tuesday, September 17, 2002
My husband-to-be and I were ridiculously young -- he'd just turned twenty -- and had more or less run off together to San Francisco the year before. When we decided to get married, I had no female relatives around to tell me what I was supposed to be doing. It meant I had to do everything myself, but things turned out well enough.
To tell you the truth, I'd never paid much attention to weddings when I was growing up, and I'd a thousand times rather read a good book than leaf through a fashion magazine. I'm not sure I knew there was such a thing as a wedding planner. Instead, we researched it ourselves: What do you have to do in order to be married?
Answer: In California, not a heck of a lot. I'm not sure whether this is still the case, but back then you could get married without a license or a blood test, and just register it with the state afterward. This turned out to be by far the cheapest option, so that's what we did.
The ceremony took place a bit over two weeks after we decided to get married. I'd baked a spice cake with fruits and nuts in it as soon as we made the decision, and kept dosing it with rum right up to the point where I frosted it. I sewed a dress for myself and a shirt for my husband in matching paisley fabrics, blue for me and red for him, and made a deal with the flower seller up the block to have anemones for sale the morning of the wedding. First thing in the morning on my wedding day I walked up there, bought a lovely big bunch of red and blue anemones, and wrapped a blue satin ribbon around the stems. No problem.
And our families? His couldn't come; they lived far away and couldn't get away on such short notice. My mother-in-law-to-be, whom I'd never met, sent me her heirloom lace handkerchief she'd carried at her own wedding, saying that since she'd never had a daughter she'd be pleased for me to have it. Bless them, they were wonderful. I didn't find out for years that my mother-in-law had literally fainted when she heard we were getting married, and I didn't hear it from her.
My family? They were no problem either, since I'd forbidden them to come. That was after my mother phoned me to say she'd been on the phone to my ex-fiancee, whom she'd taken a shine to, and that he still loved me and would take me back -- it wasn't too late!
My fiancee walked in towards the end of this phone call to find me in tears. He was incensed: "Your mother is a literate woman! She teaches English, for pete's sake! Doesn't she know when she's perpetrating a cliche?"
I adore my husband.
My mother did send me a replacement dress, though, since it was obvious to her that the one I was making would be awful. What she sent me a calf-length puff-sleeved drop-waisted loosely-sashed ruffle-skirted horror, in a style I would never have looked good in in all my life. The fabric was a cheap synthetic, and was in exactly the wrong shade of pinkish-mauve, a color that looks so hideous on me that people have been known to cry out in dismay when I've held it up next to my face.
Wicked me, I didn't wear the dress. I wore the one I'd made, and looked very nice.
The wedding mostly came off without a hitch, unless you count having to talk my husband's ex-girlfriend Kate out of wearing a full-length white dress with a plunging neckline, with no underwear at all. Fortunately, she's not very brave, so she quickly capitulated and agreed that her nice knee-length dress with the sailor collar and pleated skirt would be a much better choice.
Also standing up with us was Tim, an old boyfriend of mine (amicably parted long before) who was responsible for my having met my husband. I'd forgotten to provide flowers for my attendants, but I picked a couple of calla lilies out of the back yard and tied my remaining blue ribbon around the stems. In his dark suit, holding his calla lily, Tim would have looked like the Chief Mourner if he'd ever stopped smiling, but he never did.
The only other notable incident occurred during the ceremony. We'd written our own vows, and included the line, "If there is any one here who knows of any reason why this marriage should not take place, it's too late; they should have spoken up long ago."
From the wedding guests came the voice of our friend Tom: "I did! I tried to tell them, but they wouldn't listen to me!"
"Shut up, Tom!" I hissed -- though without much conviction, since I was giggling too hard. He had in fact tried to talk us out of it, and wished us all the best in the world when we said we were going through with it anyway. As soon as the ceremony was over I took care of the throwing-the-bouquet part by beaning Tom with my flowers, with a hard overhand pitch. He agreed that he did have it coming, and is still a close friend, which just goes to show you.
All in all it came off pretty well, and at the end of the day we were married, so I'd call it a success. Total cost including the rings was maybe two or three hundred dollars. And twenty-odd years later we're still happily married, so I'd still call it a success.
I'll admit that a few times during the preparations, my fiance complained about all the complicated fuss and bother, at which point I told him he had no idea how much trouble he was actually avoiding. About a year after we were married we got stuck in a long line at the grocery store, so I picked up a copy of a bridal magazine and showed him some of the dress prices, to-do lists, and sample budgets. He was astounded. He couldn't believe people actually did things like that to themselves.
Over the years I've had my spells of worrying whether we handled things badly. Reading bridal horror story websites has set my mind at ease. We may have missed a few small graces and courtesies, but we dodged ever so much trouble, and made none for anyone else.
Teresa
Brooklyn, Friday, September 13, 2002
Now I have to preface this confessional with two things. One,
I've been happily married for over 12 years. Two, I know both
Dennis and Sara.
So I've come to visit this site because Dennis told me about it
(totally cool by the way Sara) not necessarily to confess
wedding chaos.
HOWEVER, I have to say to all of you out there preparing for
your perfect weddings...ELOPE!!! Do it the way that you want
to, don't buckle to pressure from anyone....I don't care if
they are paying or not!
Will and I wanted to do a simple cermony in Mexico, getting
married at sunset on the beach, married by a local priest...but
instead we did the "traditional" thang, with some twists! First
of all, what is the fascination with JUNE??? We had a December
wedding, and got total grief about the whole thing....for crying
out loud, how could you possibly get married in December???
Ummm, let me think....I wanted a "white wedding"....I don't
know. I do know that I didn't want to get all trussed up in a
huge beaded dress in the middle of June and cook all day.
Then we had "non-traditional" colors in our wedding. Silver,
Black and Blue...which if you think about it, really go great
for a winter wedding theme. And heaven forbid that we
want to have me walk down the isle to the wedding march
(I should really mention here that my husband's father was
marrying us...he is a Lutheran minister and there is some
bizzare *rule* against the wedding song) oh, and there was
to be *NO KISSING* and *NO CHAMPAGNE* to toast with.
I violated all the above rules....plus some that day....Will has
an amazing singing voice and he wanted to sing at the wedding, but
his mom wasn't going to have anything to do with that....we
won and I cried beautiful tears of joy that my man was
crooning to me!
I could go on and on, with stories about the broken wedding
cake topper, thank you mom. Or one of Will's "best-friends", who was slated
to be a groomsman, who didn't even show up. (Thank you Scott, my best
friend who stood in at the very last minute) Or the fact that I
had a psycho ex who said he'd show up and make a scene (thank goodness, he
had better things to do that day) Or my good friend who decided
that he'd rather get high than save 30 bucks to rent a tux and
be an usher. Or, etc.....
I have dozens of tales to share.
I will part with these words of widsom....do what you like
It is YOUR wedding day, not your mom's, not your mother
in laws, it is YOUR day. If you want to wear orange, do it.
If you want to have carnations instead of roses, DO IT. If you
want to get married in Mexico, or Vegas...DO IT. Trust me,
the most important part is the love you share with your
partner....no one is going to keep track (for long) if you did
things differently.
I have to tell you Sara, I loved looking at Ryan's wedding pics
on this site....she is a gal who did what she wanted. Her colors
were obviously favs of hers....and how great is the bride to
let her bridesmaids pick out the gowns.....you all look great.
I really didn't mean to ramble on and on like this....really,
I just popped by to say hi and that I love the site.
Cheers
Claudia
Claudia <email>
Pullman, WA Thursday, September 12, 2002
I asked my groom what he wanted. He said he didn't care. But when I started planning, he had an opinion on everything. I had to do all the research for every element of our wedding, and then he didn't like the options I came up with so I had to search for options with him too. (HE wouldn't do initial research.) I have started yelling.
Stressed
Tuesday, September 10, 2002
His mother is driving me crazy! It's a year until the wedding, we don't have a site reserved yet (& we're not sweatin' it), and she absolutely HAS to make her accomodation reservations NOW! She already reserved a timeshare for a week in a city in which we were never planning to hold the wedding! He called her and told her to cancel, and she didn't lose any money, but it's like, chill the F$&;k out! She's not paying for any of it, and I know she's really excited, but she so overbearing!
When she went to our wedding website (which has barely any information about the actual festivities because nothing has been planned yet), she came back and said, "You said casual for the attire? Do you mean jeans? You don't want people to show up in jeans, do you? My friends at the office said casual means jeans, and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!" I tuned her out. No, I don't mean jeans, I mean somewhere between jeans and a suit, but didn't see the need to spell it out on our cheesy prefab WEDDING SITE! S@&;t, I'm not even wearing a "gown", just a pretty dress (hopefully I can find the right one), and I'm not throwing a stinking bouquet, I don't care what "everybody" does [I get the feeling that readers here understand me ;o)] And, we don't know where we're having it yet so that could kind of effect everything, right? And it's not like the invitations have gone out already! Which brings me to another thing!
She wants to invite all these people we don't know, but MY parents are paying for it (and we'll probably be footing some of the bill since these things are so bloody expensive, even if you do it low key)! We don't want a circus, but my future MIL wants to make it one! Luckily she lives far away. My boyfriend's only response it "just ignore her, like I do". I'm afraid I won't be able to do that for the rest of my life. Luckily, my mom is really cool by now, since she's had all three of her other kids married off, so she's really easy-going and understanding. she promised to protect me from evil MIL!
I feel better now!
ingrate
Monday, September 09, 2002
Mannerly...I agree with you that the bride and groom have the right to limit the guest list any way they choose...but why is Insidia's friend being singled-out (so to speak)? Why are all the other bridesmaids allowed to bring a date? Unless the BM's boyfriend is a total a**hole or a hideous drunk I would think that this woman is being "punished" for something...
Barbara
Friday, September 06, 2002
Hi insidia,
The bride who won't let her friend bring a date to the wedding is being perfectly correct. Your friend had the option of saying no if the bridesmaid stuff was beyond her means, the bride has the option of limiting guests to recognized social couples. Until this girl and her boyfriend are engaged, there are no promises. If your friend can't make polite conversation with the hundred or so people who will be there, she has bigger problems than having to stand for hours in heels. And if she's so busy "making the best" of the situation and trying to be supportive of her friend, how is it that you know so much about how much all this is costing, and what a hardship it is for her?
mannerly
Thursday, September 05, 2002
Oh heavens where DO I start?!?
First of all I was 19, if that counts for anything, and my fiance and I were really just poor college students and wanted a small beach wedding. Maybe 50 people tops. Then his mother decided that that just WOULDN'T do and that she and his father (divorced...not happily) would split the cost. Although I hated the idea of her paying, it was her son after all and well we gave in......sigh....that was my sin...the following were hers:
She took over: the wedding was then held at her church, most of the inviteds were her friends/associates that neither he nor I knew. She changed the colors of the reception decorations down to the ribbon on the cake (which I didn't find out until getting there). We fought over the reception (I dared to share my--I thought--asked for opinions and she took them to say that I didn't think she knew what I was doing) and I almost called off the wedding more than once (should've followed those instincts!). But then there was the wedding day itself....
After my m.o.h., the photographer and I get to the church to find everything in cranberry and hunter green (the balloons made it look like a Barney birthday party on steroids) instead of the black/ivory/red motif of the ivitations, etc we proceed to get ready. One of the tasks was sorting through a 5 gallon container of fresh-cut roses from my Mom's friends garden and placing them on tables, etc. which we did. The phone rings. I answer (we're the only ones there). It's his mom asking if the caterer is there yet (no) and wanting the (assembled) wedding cake moved off center of the table it was on because it was interfering with the floral arrangement on HER silver candelabra. Told her that it was fine and didn't need to be moved (you dont move an assembled cake people!!!) Then I, innocently, asked about the color change effect of the decorations.....I gently explained that those colors were the ones we had picked for our bedroom *in small does* but not for the wedding...
She went off!!! Saying she only did what she knew to be right and then had the nerve to tell me "You and you're mother should be on your knees thanking me for all I've done for you." So I replied, rather sarcastically by this point, "Well thank you very much." Her response??? "You ungrateful little bi***!" and hung up on me!!! My photographer has a great set of candid shots: me on the phone looking worried, me crying on m.o.h. shoulder. I REALLY should have called it off then!
Went through with the wedding, I escorted myself down the ailse at which point, midway down, the ring bearer decided he didn't want to be up there anymore and came racing in the other direction.....rattled, I continued. My dress had been purchased with the beach wedding in mind so was an ankle length sheath with no train. My knees were shaking so bad the hem of my dress moved throughout the bried ceremony. Afterwards was a mob-scene...not even CLOSE to enough space in the fellowship hall, the groom wandered off from me when everyone wanted to come by and congratulated...he was no where to be found. And then...the mother appears before me (did I mention that her dress was cranberry and her mother wore the same dress in green???) and apologized for earlier. I, the gracious bride, accepted the apology...until she had the gall to ask if there was something **I** would like to say to her?!?!?!? Being spineless I apologized too...and spent my wedding night crying on my grooms shoulder about his mother, who he promised I'd never have to see again (2 weeks later we were at her house for sunday dinner....sigh)
Oh, and My brother (an usher) was in a walking cast, and the groom smeared cake and icing across the lower half of my face (up the nose, in the hair....) not to mention he had orange fingertips from the popsicle he ate just before the ceremony!!!
We divorced after 2 3/4 years....
Last August I got the chance to plan my big wedding the way I wanted when I got engaged again, only to have Sept.11 disrupt the (former Marine) groom's thoughts and forbid me from talking about the wedding until sometime after Christmas. Then to call it off 1 week before Valentine's day (June 1 wedding to be haha). Luckily he caught me before ordering the invites and paying the last 1/2 of my dress.....
This time I am eloping, only a couple of people know about the Nov.8th date at the courthouse and my mom MIGHT know before then...I still haven't decided.
Jennifer <email>
Tallahassee, FL Wednesday, September 04, 2002
Have been lurking on TT for weeks and weeks...thought maybe someone could post this to the bridezilla thread! It's from www.craigslist.org
this is a true story.
i have a friend who's been asked to be a bridesmaid in her friend's wedding. the girl getting married is an old friend from high school and not part of my friend's immediate circle. my friend has spent a lot of money on the bridemaid's dress, bachelorette party, gift, etc. she has done this reluctantly because she's broke, but she's willing to make the best of it. HOWEVER, she was told by the bride that she cannot bring a date to the wedding - not even her boyfriend of 2 years whom the bride has met. the bride's rule is that you must either be engaged or married to your date. besides being heterosexist and selfish... how uncool is this bride being? my friend understands that this is her friend's big day, and she's entitled to plan her wedding the way she wants to, but c'mon! every other bridesmaid (there are 8 total) is bringing a date. my friend is not even allowed to bring a family member.
question is, is this grounds for backing out? my friend is understandably pissed but feels like she has to participate. how would you handle this if you were in her strappy silver bridesmaid shoes?
insidia
Tuesday, September 03, 2002
I am about to burst from the pressure being exerted on me from all sides. It's 5.5 weeks till the wedding and the two things he was supposed to take care of (the rings and the music) are still undone. He doesn't want to help me make any decisions, but then complains about the decisions I make. (Here's a good one, someone threw a shower for us, I asked him who he wanted to invite, he gave me a few names and then flew off the handle when he found out I hadn't invited his mother, because she lives 2000 miles away, but he never asked me to invite her!!!!!!) Family tensions are incredible. The worst part is that everyone keeps saying "it's your wedding, so do it just the way you want to" like it's some sick joke or something, because then they ask me to invite some friend of theirs that met me when I was five once, or to play a certain song for them, or express displeasure at the choice of food, or everything and anything. Not to mention my parents want us to fly to their hometown after the wedding for a reception for their friends!!!! (I had to say no, even though it broke my heart to say no to my daddy.)
I'm going to cry and nobody understands me.
O.K., I feel a little better now.
H
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
Big and fancy is not really our style, we're much more into focusing on celebrating our relationship.... So we're eloping, with a couple close friends along for the trip. I know I'm supposed to tell the fam in advance so it's not too harsh, but [my sin] I'm seriously considering keeping it a secret, anyway, because of my mother. She would ask a thousand times "when and where," despite a thousand refusals to tell. And then she would hire a PI. I wish I were joking.
eloper
CA Thursday, August 22, 2002
I was 40 minutes late for my wedding because my bridesmaid (let's call her Ada) "didn't like her make-up" and had to get it redone FOUR times. My make-up artist had brought her assistant with her, and the assistant was supposed to do the bridesmaids/flowergirl makeup, but Ada insisted that she wanted my makeup artist to do her makeup. That would have been fine, except for the fact that my makeup artist was halfway through doing my hair. Of course, I'm just the bride, so I had no choice but to let her whinge and let my makeup artist re-do her makeup, whilst my photographers were waiting patiently for me to be done so he could get some pictures before the ceremony.
I wished i had stuck with my instincts and "sack" her as a bridesmaid before it got too late - she did nothing but whinge, even though we went shopping for her dress together (my maid of honor lives overseas, so she left most of the decisions to Ada and me.), and she chose her own dress. She couldn't get the dress in her size, so I paid for the dress and then paid for it to be altered. However, she gained weight AFTER altering the dress, so I had to pay for it to be altered again. Then she decided that her arms were too fat for a strapless dress, so I bought matching shawls for the dresses (i wanted to avoid all those horror bridesmaids stories). All in all, I paid about AUD$950 for her dress, alterations, shawl, shoes, makeup and hair (both trial and actual day). (yeah color me stupid.) She also tried to force my maid of honor to wear makeup as thick (and bright) as hers because "everything must match", even though i've told her that my maid of honor doesn't wear much makeup.
The wedding was perfect though, we had beautiful weather and everything else went smoothly.
Till we discovered that Ada stole money from us on our WEDDING DAY!! we have proof, but that's another long story). Needless to say, we're no longer friends. Thank goodness she wasn't in many of the wedding photos,
the princessa of bitchydom <email>
Melbourne, Vic Tuesday, August 20, 2002
I could so relate with the Barbara's August 1st posting. It is like I was reading my own story. I think it is my fiance's family's favorite thing to joke about is how all he has to do is say, "Yes, dear." and show up. I think he must have told them I was going to punch the next person who said this (after hearing it about 30 times)because it has stopped.
We finally had a breakfast meeting blowout where he vented how tired he was of hearing how stressed out I was and that I should "have fun." I ripped into him because I had to sit and listen to his mother narrate everyone she wanted to invite to the wedding. Not a small list- then she fluctuated between wanting them to come to the rehearsal dinner, then not, and 'what did I think?' I didn't know any of these people. Meanwhile, he is sitting next to us- totally checked out. After an hour and a half of this we agreed to put it on hold until she could think about it some more. Two follow-up phone conversations have ended with some backtracking on the progress we had made. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN? And I should just "relax" because "everything will work out." HOW do things work out without someone working them out? How will they work out when it took him 2 weeks to get his coworkers address that sits FIVE FEET AWAY from him.
We have never fought until the past two weeks. (We have 6 weeks to go.)
Luckily, we both felt a lot better after the confessional and I am trying to approach things more calmly (reminding myself that I really am happy to be marrying him and that I want to look back on planning the wedding with some enjoyment) and he brought home the address for me that same day and has done a few more things on his "To Do" list without any reminders or questions from me.
WOW- I wasn't going to post, but I guess I really needed to. I wish I would have found this site sooner. Thanks.
ginza
Tuesday, August 20, 2002
Bless me mother, for I have sinned. Yes, the seven deadly sins:
In pride I have scoffed at the pleas of those who are worried for my soul. I have considered the murder of a very aged and dear friend for telling me of the fiery fate that awaited those who did not have enough bridesmaids.
I have coveted those who did not have a wedding to plan. My envy is so great, that I have spent many an evening mimicking their livestyle instead of pondering the great question of colors.
I have been wrathful at my mother, the woman who labored and pained to give me life, when she has flung Emily Post in my direction.
Bless me, for I am a slothful bride. I did chose my reception site based on the spectacular view and did hope that this worldly sight would distract my guests from the fact that I have not toiled with beaded centerpieces or tulle chair backs.
I have lusted after plain satin. This carnal wanting is so strong, that it has made me dispise those marks of purity, even the beading and butt bows.
My heart is full of greed. Instead of improving the economy and the plight of those needy souls who have been running up credit cards for the past decade, my partner in sin and I have opted for plain gold bands and put the extra cash in a nice secure bond fund.
Finally, my gluttony has reached such great heights that I have chosen an unimpressive cake. And this only because it tasted good.
Please have mercy upon my soul.
Jeh
Monday, August 19, 2002
I LOVED reading the bridezilla confessions!!
My new husband and I (married on August 9th, 2002) just survived our wedding and celebration. We had a small ceremony in our backyard with 25 guests on Friday night. We really worked hard to keep the evening special and intimate! My mother thought of a cute idea to give out wrapped windchimes for the guests to ring at the end of the ceremony. She had such a cute poem about "instead of birdseed or rice, at the 'I do' chiming would be nice" (or something like that). That went off wonderfully!! And because we are both formerly divorced adults, and he has children, I had his youngest son (18 years old still living with dad) walk me down the aisle. It was extremely sweet!! Everyone commented on how special it was to include his son because he was part of the marriage and joining of our family.
Our "nightmare" was that our pastor and friend showed up at our house and proceeded to get sick! He had had a lunch that did not agree with him. For about an hour before the ceremony, he was laying on the couch with a cool washcloth on his head and every guest arriving was trying to figure out which family member was "loaded" on the couch before the ceremony even began. He eventually emptied his stomach and was able to marry us after numerous apologies. My husband-to-be was so calm and compassionate, helping the pastor all he could. He got a chair and a glass of water for him in case he had to sit during the ceremony. Because of the pastor's illness, We decided to shorten the ceremony quite a bit, under the circumstances. We cut out the music except for before and after, and only had a few short readings. He wasn't even in any of the pictures except those taken during the ceremony. And he doesn't look extremely well in those.
Overall, it was beautiful and magical for me as soon as I stopped worrying about how others were "viewing" the event and thought about what this event meant to me (and us)!! The "show" means nothing if you're with the wrong guy! Keep the focus on the two of you and forget what everyone else says and thinks you should do. It also helps if you are paying for the event yourselves, then YOU have the say in what happens!!
Karen
Southern, Minnesota Monday, August 19, 2002
When we had our last planning session with our DJ before our wedding (June 2000), I was so exhausted that night from a long day at work (and from wedding stress in general) and just wanted to go home and relax with my fiance instead of sitting there having dinner with our DJ and his wife at this restaurant near my apartment. (They are friends of ours, and they are super nice, but I was just so tired that day.) I knew that this meeting was *very* important, and of course it was extremely exciting to be planning our reception together, and I was very much looking forward to picking out our songs. But I was tired of our seemingly endless appointments with vendors, our weekends always getting completely filled up by something, family stress, etc., and I just wanted to go back to my apartment with my fiance and cuddle together on the couch and watch a movie and veg out. I seriously was just so tired and couldn't wait to get home, but I tried to concentrate as best I could on talking with our DJ and telling him what we wanted and didn't want. Anyway, I think that because I was so tired and just wanted to be done with this meeting and go home, there were a lot of songs that I wanted played at our reception that didn't get played because I just kind of nodded to our DJ and said, "That's fine." For example, I wanted to make sure to tell him that I wanted "Brown-Eyed Girl" played, because that's kind of my song, and it wasn't, and I also wanted to have "Could I Have This Dance?" by Anne Murray dedicated to my grandparents (Jeff and I wanted to dance to the song for them since my grandma couldn't walk very well), but when the DJ said, "Let's play 'The Way You Look Tonight,'" I just nodded and said, "That's OK." (We ended up using that song and they really loved it, and it was such a special moment, so it all worked out OK.) I also wanted to play "Devil in a Blue Dress" and dedicate it to my bridesmaids and get out there on the dance floor and dance with all of them, but I didn't even mention that to the DJ. I just find myself thinking about all of the songs that I wish had been played. I should have really stood up more for what I wanted, rather than just going along with things because I was tired. Wedding planning is so joyous and exciting, but sometimes it can make you really tired and stressed out, too.
Lisanne <email>
Cohoes, NY Friday, August 16, 2002
Oh my gawd...I was married at the tender age of 22 (I'm 35 and divorced at this writing), and I had been sucked into the bridal indurstrial complex pretty hardcore. I was a pretty typically princess-ish bride (and I don't mean that in a good way), so I'm sure I did a lot of stuff that offended everyone. However, I think the one thing I'd take back is the dresses I had everyone wear. They were cotton candy pink, with poofy sleeves, somewhere between knee and tea length, and made out of taffeta. I remember extolling the virtues of being able to wear them again, knowing full well that wasn't the case at all. I look at my wedding pictures and just cringe....
geekgrrl <email>
Seattle, WA Sunday, August 11, 2002
blass me brides for I have sinned. I bought two bridal magazines. I opt to read them on the way to work instead of the newspaper, new works by obscure afghani writers or other works more befitting my job in radio arts. i also tried on VEILS one day. forgove me..
steffie
Toronto, Thursday, August 08, 2002
Okay, my twin cousins are in my wedding, and they've been driving me nuts about the attire. None of us are "petite". And they've been sure to let me know they "do NOT intend to be in the wedding if they're going to look like cows". The dress they wanted is a snowwhite look alike --a high collar covering their necks and shoulders, long sleeves, empire waisted...but with an opening at the collar to reveal their bountiful cleavage. PFFT! Yeah right. I went threw dozens of designs, and trying to accommodate for 6 different figures is hard enough without their specifications. Finally, I decided to pick a dress that would double-dog-dare them to back out of my wedding! Evil??? Yes. Buahahahahahahaaa!
txaggrl99
San Antonio, TX Thursday, August 08, 2002
When I got married, I had a six week old infant. I was bfing. Did not plan the dress to accomodate that task. We thought we could give the babe a supplemental bottle, but poor mama became engorged. I had concocted this weird thing to hold up my breasts (backless dress) with those sticky tape type bras, but had also added nursing pads to catch any drips. When we got tot he reception, I HAD to feed her and went to the back office to feed said babe and missed my whole receiving line. Spent the whole evening trying to introduce my hubby to family and friends and ended up having them all tell me they had already met him. I didn't even know they had done a receiving line!! Guess I should have planned things better.
name withheld *to protect the not so innocent*
Sunday, August 04, 2002
This isn't my wedding but I was the MOH. It was turning into a total disaster because the groom had got caught in traffic, and everyone else was standing in the church waiting for him. Angel, the bride, was really upset by now because it was about half an hour after the wedding was supposed to start and she was pretty steamed. So she leaned over to me and whispered, jokingly, "Maybe I'll just marry Greg [the best man] instead, he's better in bed anyway!" But unfortunately, the vicar had a microphone on his stand and it picked up EVERYTHING and it boomed out v. loudly over all the church and everyone heard it. It was the most awkward ceremony I ever saw.
Katty
Saturday, August 03, 2002
When I went to try /buy my dress. One of my bridesmaids went with me. But keep in mind she bowed out from being a bridesmaid the day before we went to look at dresses. She wanted to go to "support me". Ha, the whole time she was rushung me and wanted to get in and out cuz she had to get home to her 15 year old daughter that was coming home from camp. So, I narrowed it down to two, she decided she like the other better, told the sales woman before I could tink about it , that we were done. So , I was wisked away out of the dress, rushed in to buying it. All, the while she is barking at the saleswoman, telling me she is thirsty and hungry and can we hurry up. So, all the 1 hr. and 45 minute drive home I thought about the other dress. all night, too. The policy is no refunds no exchange, all sales are final. But, I could not stand it, I called the store, begged them for forgiveness at how she acted, pleaded for them to give me a day to thik about it and changed the dress the next day. I felt crazy. And wondered why she went in the first place if she was in a hurry.
Gin Doe
Friday, August 02, 2002
she's being a pigheaded creep.
alden metz <email>
Thursday, August 01, 2002
Just 11 weeks to go before The Big Day and my (truly wonderful)fiance is driving me a little nuts (and vice versa)...first of his sins? He's fond of saying "All I have to do is show up" and then he weighs in with his misguided opinions about everything from invitation styles to music to choice of photographers. Then he tells me to "relax" because I'm anxiously trying to coordinate and get everything necessary nailed down in a very short time...he has some weird fantasy that I should be able to pull this wedding out of my a** at the last minute...which brings up soon-to-be sin #3: he's in charge of the honeymoon and says he's going to "surpise me"...the surprise, I'm sure, will be that we'll be spending our honeymoon at somewhere like the tacky Wisconsin Dells (it's located on Dante's 3rd level of hell) instead of Belize or Cancun because "relax" boy will be shocked to discover he hasn't gotten his passport in time, he has no idea where we'll stay since he spent all his time at geek websites instead of researching lodging possibilities, the plane tickets will be either too expensive or can't be had, etc. I, of course, to compensate for his overly laidback approach have gone into overdrive on the organization and worry fronts...98%of what I do postwork lately is wedding stuff and, worse, I'm starting to dream about it too...
Barbara
Naperville, IL Thursday, August 01, 2002
I'm trying very, very hard not to be a bridezilla, and other than my friend's eyes glazing over every time I open my mouth to speak, I think I'm doing pretty well. *grins*
There -is- one thing I feel guilty about, just a smidge. Whenever I want someone's opinion on something, of course I ask my fiance what he thinks. But then, I secretly ask my MOH what she thinks and I weigh her opinion more than his. Why is this? I don't know, but it bothers me just the tiniest bit. If he liked something, but she didn't, I rpobably would lean more towards the not-having-it-in-the-wedding side of the debate.
Whew. Well... it may be a tiny sin, but in the long run I'm getting married to him, not to her!
Katlyn <email>
Monterey, CA Wednesday, July 31, 2002
Here's a couple of goodies for ya.
I painstakingly hand addressed my invitations and sealed and stamped them all. THEN I noticed that there was a whole box of pretty foil envelopes sitting in the box. Yeppers, I completely spaced on using the "inner" envelope. And BTW< what the heck ARE those little pices of tissue paper for anyway?
Next fauz pas......
I am a total Martha Stewart type. Just have to be unique and original and make everything myself, my way. My centerpieces were large conch shells placed atop mirror tiles that had votives around em, with a couple stems of fresh flowers placed in each conch with water to keep em fresh. Well Mawwwtha me, forgot to check to make sure that the shells were water tight. Picture bride and groom two hours before wedding trying to patch the shells with nail glue since brain dead me did NOT remember to bring her glue gun.
I did a bunch of Anti-bride stuff too. Beige dress, no veil, ceremony barefoot on beach, no attendants, wrote whole ceremony, yada yada etc..
LOVE your website!
Gayle
Gayle <email>
Escondido, CA Tuesday, July 30, 2002
Countdown time, one month away. Make it simple and the way YOU want it. My fiance and I are eloping. No one even knows we are engaged. We know our parents would turn everything upside down and chose to do things simple and alone, on a little beach island just the two of us. We believe that our friends an family will be happy when we announce the news, and frankly, if the aren't to heck with them!
liv
montreal, Wednesday, July 17, 2002
The one thing I let my fiance help me register for -- dishes -- I renigged at the last minute.
Well, it's really more like I lied.
I REALLY didn't want the yellow dishes he picked out, so I made up an elaborate "pattern discontinued" lie so we'd have to go with my more non-yellow, versatile plate selection.
Debbie <email>
SD, CA Tuesday, July 16, 2002
The bride's parents were (bitterly) divorced. Her dad showed up at the wedding rehearsal with his pretty little bimbette (younger than the bride!). Of course, this did not go over well with the bride's mom. So on the evening of the wedding, whe shocked everyone in the church by marching down the aisle with her poodle in arms, as if to say, "You bring your dog; I'll bring mine".
Paul
Seattle, WA Monday, July 15, 2002
Let's see, I had to fire my maid of honor (who did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING) a week before the wedding. She was not cooperating, doing nothing to help, I didn't have a bridal shower, and she called one of the other bridesmaids, a very close friend, to say I was a bitch (not sure why since I had arranged to pay for her dress, travel expenses, hotel and meals because I knew she was broke, she on the other hand wouldn't even arrange to book a block of hotel rooms for out of town guests even though she's a TRAVEL AGENT)! Haven't spoken to her since, and haven't missed her. The morning of the wedding, my family went off to sightsee so I had NO ONE to help me get ready. The hotel wanted me checked out of my room by 10:00 am. The wedding was at 2:00. My friend, the hairdresser, and I had to break into my parents room! Without that friend, I never would have made it. She stayed to fix my makeup and yell at my family for being so rude. Next, my brother discovered that he had no shirt in his tuxedo bag, so off he went with my mother and his wife (another bridesmaid) to the tux shop. The three of them were LATE for my wedding. We were about to start without them when my mother saunters in and tells me that I need to go yell at the tux shop (the other attendants were appalled at her for that one). The flowers sat un-noticed at the back of the church. I finally stood on a chair and screamed at the top of my lungs until someone noticed that I was there and started to hand them out to the bridesmaids and groomsmen. My best friend was forced into being the "man of honor" a role I'd asked him to play originally but he felt was more appropriately played by a female. He had just gotten engaged that week and his fiancee was FURIOUS that I had stolen her thunder by getting married the same week she got engaged. She showed up at the wedding and sat on the groom's side of the church, glaring in all the pictures (she skipped the reception and forced my man of honor leave early to listen to more of her tantrums). At the wedding reception, I asked my mother to have the guestbook signed (didn't happen). Only about five people out of 80 signed the book. The dj stole our money and didn't show up. My husband left his glasses and our camcorder in the church (at the opposite end of the city) and went into a panic because we were leaving at 4:00 am for our honeymoon. Oh yeah, the photographer held me hostage the entire day without allowing me to eat or drink anything. I almost passed out from that one. She took 30 minutes to pose each picture, some of which were completely absurd! I finally had to kick her out! It was the worst day of my life and I was shocked to realize that I was completely invisible the entire day. No one noticed me or spoke to me. They were all busy talking to one another and enjoying the party (as they should have been). Everyone else had a great time though. I did, however, get a wonderful husband out of the deal and the most perfect honeymoon I could every have imagined (a month in Europe, the first trip for either of us). I do wish I could do the whole day over. My best advise is to PAY someone to organize and run the whole thing. It would take so much stress off the bride and would be soooooooo worth it!
Wedding from hell!!
Monday, July 15, 2002
Three months to the date after becoming engaged (that eqates to 3.5 months after being introduced)we trapsed en route to Vegas's plethera of hitching posts (only the famous Little White Chapel would do), accompanied only by my most dear girlfriend and her, as of that night, boe for life. Quite a celebration topped with much champagne and a lovely chauffeur donated by the hotel, I must say! Nonetheless, dearest Mom and Dad had a suprise for us upon our return - if we were willing to wait a year to be married they would pay for the wedding...but only in Vegas. Of course, we exclaimed "sure, we'll wait," and never did confess (2.0 held at the Flamingo Hilton - I highly recommend this to you non-traditional types). Also, we never will (over my parent's dead bodies, one down, one to go).
achiogirlz <email>
CA Monday, July 15, 2002
Well...everytime I got stressed out, I somehow managed to find a way to make it my fiance's fault. Then in the heat of my total frustration I would call my best friend in the WHOLE WORLD - (a.k.a. Potatoes) and get hysterical as I tell her my fiance is doing everything wrong and not involved.
The reality was my sweet fiance took care of sooo many details and paid for a LOT of the wedding himself. I still feel guilty for getting so angry at him over stupid stuff he had nothing to do with (bad, bad Toot)...Lucky my best friend and I are similiar - we are both Type A personalities, undercover as Type B's...(a.k.a happy go lucky outside - but secretly anal retentive!!)
hee hee
Toot (Hi Potatoes!) <email>
Friday, July 12, 2002
My bridal insanity is..... I don't understand it all. Why on earth does the ceremony have to be so perfect done to the last minute detail eg whether the roses would look better with the gardenias or the carnations. Surely this adds to more stress, leading to the main feeling shared by the couple on the day being relief?! Surely a simple beach or garden ceremony would suffice?!
Sorcha
Friday, July 12, 2002
I have been checking my registries online to see what's being bought for my shower *hangs her head in shame*
9.21bride
Chicago, IL Friday, July 12, 2002
I thought I had no confessions, but I guess I do. We eloped, kinda. It was the start of the Gulf War, and is Commanding Officer was saying "well sweetie, you can be at the alter but he won't be come May." My parents called and insisted that if getting married now was better then waiting, go for it. (this is Feb. '91).
We do this mad rush of a wedding, and being that I was military too, my Commanding Officer insisted we get married on the ship (pretty cool). Small wedding. Had the dress and all, so I got what I wanted. But with wedding party, guests and all, 7 people were there. I love to brag that my reception, including cake cost me $75.00.
My only mistake? A friend took pictures of the wedding for us. In EVERY picture of me.. my eyes are closed. CLOSED. EVERY SINGLE PICTURE! I was so nervous (was stood up at the alter once before) he was going to leave me I kept my eyes close in fear of fainting. Big mistake. All the pictures look awful, I remember the minister looking down and up at me to see if I was ok and I have no wonderful memory of looking into my future husband's eyes.
He must be ok with it though.. we have been married 11 years. :)
Susan <email>
Denver, CO Thursday, July 11, 2002
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