Going Bridal


this site is a parody. if you actually think this a good idea, there is something wrong with your priorities.

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Greedy Bride Store

  Get What Your Guests Owe You

We at Going Bridal have often read laments from brides who were stiffed by guests on their special day. This pain is compounded by the fact that, often, the brides did EVERYTHING just right, even taking out loans to finance lavish parties they could not have afforded otherwise.

The deadbeat guests are frequently very well-off people, with large houses, luxury cars, vacations, and expensive lifestyles. Naturally the brides are confused by the guests' lack of generosity.

This epidemic of thoughtlessness stems from a mistaken notion on the guests' part - namely, the guests believe that they can decide how to spend their own money, and can choose not to spend it on the happy couple's Special Day.

Nothing could be further from the truth, of course. The bride is entitled to have her guests pay tribute to her at HER chosen level. To do otherwise is horrible and rude.

Enter BrideAudit™! Answer a few simple questions and we'll analyze the assets of your guests, decide their appropriate level of giving, and provide you with invoices that you can include in your invitations.

It's not rude, it's helpful! Why should your guests worry about how much to give you? BrideAudit makes it easy! We use a top-secret formula which combines factors such as:

  1. how much money you're spending on the wedding
  2. your own generosity
  3. your resentfulness
  4. your expectations
to arrive at the magic number we call your Entitlement Factor™. After that, it's a simple matter of combining your Entitlement Factor with the financial status and character flaws of each guest, to arrive at the Minimum Suggested Gift (MSG). The MSG can be doubled or tripled to allow for additional family members.

It's just so easy! Get what's coming to you with BrideAudit today!

As a special bonus, we can show your parents how their retirement funds can be transformed into the wedding of YOUR dreams! (coming soon!)

Get Started!